FOR THE NEXT forty-five minutes, Susan smiled and said hello to every person who stepped off the elevator. Most responded politely and kept going, way more interested in the free drinks and food than in talking with her. Thankfully. It wasn’t until Maria and Hank arrived that she had to make any kind of real conversation.
“Welcome home,” she greeted the newlyweds with a smile. “How was America?”
“Big. We had a marvelous time. Especially in Hawaii,” Maria answered. “I hated to come back. Don’t worry, though, I’ll be in the office on Monday. I know you’re eager to discuss a few things.”
“Maria, honey, it’s a Christmas party,” Hank said, his voice gently admonishing. “There’ll be plenty of time to talk work next week.”
His bride blushed. They were still in the phase where bickering in public required restraint. “I know, but this is Susan. I’m sure she wants to bring me up to speed.”
Did she do that? Did she spend time at parties working? Susan thought back to different functions. Damn. “Not tonight,” she quickly replied. “It’s Christmas. I don’t know about you, but I have more important things to talk about.”
“So we read.” Maria’s remark had all three of them turning a subtle pink.
“Where is Lewis?” Hank asked. “I was hoping to catch up with him. We didn’t get to talk very long at the wedding.”
Indeed, where was Lewis? Nearly an hour into the party and he still hadn’t arrived.
“He...um...got tied up with business and is running late,” she repeated for the umpteenth time. “I’m sure he’ll be here any minute.”
“See? I’m not the only one distracted by business,” Maria said.
“Apparently not.” But as Hank answered, he flashed a sympathetic look in Susan’s direction. It was the look of someone who knew Lewis’s past habits. He’s not the same man, Susan wanted to holler. A hard sell seeing how it was at their wedding that Lewis had a pair of drinks tossed in his face.
Just then the elevator dinged. The doors slid open and there was Lewis looking like he’d stepped off a runway in a black velvet blazer. Susan’s heart leaped to her throat at the sight of him.
So much for faking not being in love. It’d be easier pretending Lewis wasn’t gorgeous or Collier’s sold auto parts.
She broadened her smile. Her feelings—or rather, their repercussions—were an issue for another time.
“I am so sorry I’m late, luv. My meeting went far longer than I thought.” The apology tumbled from Lewis’s mouth as he slipped an arm around her waist. “You look delicious,” he added, kissing her cheek. “Maybe it was a good thing I wasn’t there when you were getting ready or we’d both be late.”
“If you’re trying to flatter me into forgiving your lateness, it’s working,” Susan told him.
“Good. I’ll flatter you some more later. Welcome back from the honeymoon, you two,” he said, turning to Hank and Maria with a smile.
This was one of those times when the relationship felt real. Although they were sleeping together so it was also real in that sense. Deeper was the better word. This was one of those times when the relationship felt deeper. There was a sparkle in his eyes that was easy to mistake as adoration. She needed to remember though, he was just playing a part. Tonight he was honoring his half of the agreement by playing the doting boyfriend.
“I can’t believe you two met at our wedding,” Maria was saying.
“I told her when you RSVP’d as single, that you wouldn’t be going home that way,” Hank remarked.
“Which I admit, had me worried. Especially after that thing with Diane and Trish.”
Lewis looked up at the ceiling lights. “Diane and Trish! Those were their names! I am really sorry about that little scene. I met those girls during a dark time in my life.”
“Well, I’d be more annoyed if I didn’t know they’re total gold diggers. Hey, I love them,” she said to Susan’s stunned expression, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what they’re like. It’s why I agreed to give Lewis your phone number. I figured if he was chasing after you, he wasn’t the promiscuous man Hank had made him out to be. Although you should apologize to them,” she added, turning to Lewis with a reproachful look.
“I agree,” Susan said.
“So do I,” Lewis replied. “Which is why I sent them both apology letters explaining everything after the wedding.”
“You did?” She smiled at him with pride. “Wait a second,” she said. “I thought you just remembered their... You jerk.”
Laughing, Lewis pretended to rub the shoulder she’d playfully slapped. “Hey, can’t a guy joke around about his bad-boy past? I can’t believe you didn’t think I would apologize.”
“You’re right.” She was properly chastised. “I should have realized you’re too good a man not to own your mistakes.”
“Well, I did lead you on, so I can’t be too annoyed, can I?” He leaned over and kissed her temple, causing Hank to offer a mock groan.
“Oh, man,” his friend said. “You are smitten with a capital S. Never thought I’d see the day. Must be a Christmas miracle. Say, the four of us need to go out after the holidays.”
Susan tensed. “You mean, in January?” What was it with people suddenly inviting them places?
“Sure. Lewis can help me lie about my glory days before I left academy league.”
“Left?” Lewis said. “You were dismissed because your foot couldn’t find the ball. You sure you want to ruin whatever lies you told your bride?”
While the three of them laughed, Susan drifted away into thought. January was only a few weeks away. She and Lewis would be done. This marvelous fun-filled night out they were planning would never happen.
“Tuesday?”
Giving a blink, she realized Maria was talking to her. “I know you usually choose to eat at your desk but the wedding proofs will be in so I thought maybe you’d like to join us for once.” Maria and several other women went out for lunch every Tuesday.
“Um...maybe,” Susan replied.
Maria looked pleased. “Great.”
“Hey, babe, I want to grab a drink before the lines at the bar are too long,” Hank said. “We’ll catch up with the two of you later.”
She waited until the couple disappeared into the ballroom before turning to Lewis. “Did I agree to go to lunch and look at wedding photos?”
“Yes, why?”
“No reason. Other than I’m surprised she asked.” In the past, when Maria made the offer to join the group for lunch, Susan assumed it was because she’d happened across them as they were headed out.
“Perhaps she’s seeing you in a new light,” Lewis replied. “Congratulations. Means both of us are getting the makeover we wanted.”
“Maybe.” Changing the subject, she asked, “How did your business meeting go?”
“I’ll tell you all about it later. When we have a chance to talk,” he replied.
“We can’t talk here?”
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “This is your night. I’m going to help you make the entire company jealous.”
“That was never my goal,” Susan said. “Not all of it anyway.”
“What was your goal then? Because I seem to remember a woman telling me she wanted to show the whole lot of them.”
“I did. I...do. At least that’s part of it.”
“What do you mean?” The way he looked at her, his expression direct and focused, it felt like he was trying to read her mind. He played with a tendril of hair by her ear. “Is there another reason?”
How did she explain? “I’m not sure I can put it into words,” she told him.
“Try.”
“All right, but not here.” Looking around for a quiet area, she saw that the staircase was empty. It was too early for anyone to venture to the roof. Most of the partygoers were still busy milling about near the bar. “Come with me.”
“This is cozy,” he said when they stepped outside. “I like the way you think.”
“I didn’t want anyone listening,” she told him. She’d been right about the crowd. The rooftop was empty except for the bartender who was tucked away behind the Plexiglas wall of the bar, out of the cold.
The flames in the gas firepit flickered brightly. Susan led Lewis to one of the sofas making up the surrounding circle.
No sooner had they sat down than the bartender emerged from his shelter, carrying a plaid blanket.
“Welcome to the rooftop,” he greeted as he handed the blanket over to Lewis who promptly draped the material around them.
“Wouldn’t want you to get cold,” he murmured, his breath warm against her temple.
The shiver that followed was anything but cold.
“Can I get you something to drink?” the bartender asked. “The special tonight is peppermint hot chocolate. Guaranteed to warm you from the inside out.”
“Depends,” Susan mused. “Does it have a holiday name?”
The man looked confused. “Peppermint hot chocolate,” he said.
“Then I think we’re good,” Lewis replied. “We’ll create our own warmth.” He scooped Susan’s legs up over his lap. She gasped as the cold from his hand touched her leg, but then snuggled against his chest. Being in his arms was like being nestled in a wonderfully safe cocoon.
“Now,” he said. “Tell me this reason you can’t put into words.”
For a second, Susan had forgotten what they’d been talking about. “I hate this party,” she said, laying her head on his shoulder. “All parties really, but this one most of all. Usually I make up an excuse and stay home, but this year Thomas didn’t give me a choice.”
“Why do you avoid it?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” She was always alone, in a room where she felt like everyone was dreading having to talk with her. “Think of the wedding times ten.”
A frown formed on Lewis’s face. “It makes you feel like a pathetic loser?”
“Bingo. All these groups of people who know each other chatting away and there I am, with a stupid smile on my face, wondering if any of them will invite me to join them.”
“And you were too afraid to join them yourself.”
“Not scared.” Scared was the wrong word. “More like I could feel the barrier between me and them, if that makes sense. Like I could go over to them, but I would still be the outsider without anything to say. You saw Maria. The only thing she could talk to me about was work.” At least it was, before they had Lewis to talk about. “And she’s one of the friendliest.”
It was embarrassing, listening to herself complain like this. She didn’t like revealing this side of herself. For some reason, however, it seemed to happen around Lewis. Whether because the way he looked at her when she spoke loosened her tongue or because she felt he understood, she didn’t know.
Losing herself in the blue of the fire, she continued. “Normally, I don’t care what they think. We’re talking about coworkers and employees. I don’t need to be their friend. Every once in a while though...well, that’s why I stay home. Being in my apartment is a lot more comfortable than being a wallflower.”
“You could simply hang with your family,” he said.
“I try, but Thomas believes in mingling and Linus is friends with the entire company. I look like the sad baby sister tagging along.” Just like when they were kids.
“So along with getting a little revenge on those bathroom chicks, you wanted me to be here to keep you from feeling alone. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Sort of.” The words still weren’t completely right. “Have you ever wanted to be that person who everyone noticed? I mean, noticed in a good way? The person the whole room wants to be? Never mind. Forget I asked that.” Of course he knew.
“You want to be one of the cool kids,” Lewis replied.
“When you put it like that, it sounds so childish.” Maybe it was. High school was a long time ago.
She felt Lewis’s thumb stroking her dress, right above her hip bone. A slow, steady massage. She focused on the tempo, back and forth, back and forth until the feelings jumbled inside her formed a coherent sentence. “Not cool. Special,” she said finally. Lewis went to speak, but she stopped him with a shake of her head. “My brothers, my mother, even my father when he was alive. People pay attention to them. Notice them. People care about what they think because their opinions matter. They matter. I want to matter too,” she said in a soft voice.
Lewis stared at the woman curled into his side. How could she think she wasn’t special? “Oh, luv,” he whispered, brushing a wispy tendril from her face.
He knew what she meant. That feeling of being less than the rest of the room. Of waiting to be called out as a fraud and asked to leave. And while Susan was the last person who should feel that way, he knew all the reminding her in the world wouldn’t make her believe him. The feeling came from deep inside where words couldn’t reach. Only thoughts.
Still, it didn’t hurt to tell her. “You don’t need me on your arm to matter.”
“Don’t I though?” She shifted her position, her legs leaving his lap. It added space between them, and he didn’t like it. “Do you know how many people have wanted to talk with me at work since we started dating? They look at me differently now. And Courtney and Ginger? They’ve practically twisted themselves into knots trying to get on my good side. Call me immature,” she said, “but I like the attention. That’s the reason I wanted you as my date for the party. This might be the one time I get to be the popular girl.”
“I’d never call you immature,” he told her. She began to pick at the plaid material of the blanket. “If wanting to be popular is a crime, then half the world would be guilty.” Including him. Heck, his glass house was probably ten times the size of hers.
“You’re wrong though,” he told her. “You don’t need the spotlight to matter.”
Like he expected she would, she scoffed softly. “You can have all the adulation and popularity you want, but all you really need are a few people who care. One person even.”
“Easy for you to say.”
Was it? There was a lesson for him in those words, but now wasn’t the time to pick them apart.
“You sell yourself too short. You matter to your family. I know you don’t believe it, but you matter to your brothers. And Maddie...”
She smiled at the mention of her niece. “Maddie’s my little angel.”
Noel would be one soon enough as well, he suspected. She wasn’t the horrible, unlikable shrew she painted herself out to be.
She was amazing really.
If someone had told him a few weeks ago, when they hashed out this arrangement, how much he would enjoy their time together, he wouldn’t have believed them. Today wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have achieved half the success if she hadn’t been by his side.
An inexplicable fullness gripped him. Looking at her now, white lights twinkling about her, he’d never seen anything as lovely.
“You matter to me too,” he said. The reverence in his voice didn’t come close to capturing how he felt. “A lot. You matter to me a lot.”
The look in her eye said she didn’t believe him.
Very well. He would just have to show her the best way he knew possible. Pulling her close, he kissed her.
And kissed her again.
“Let’s get out of here,” he murmured against her mouth. There was more he wanted to tell her. Plus he hadn’t been kidding about how delicious she looked. Between her chocolate-tinged kisses and her creamy bare back, she had him starving.
“I can’t. I promised Thomas.” Her argument would have been more persuasive if she weren’t kissing him back in between sentences. Eventually, she pulled away, out of his mouth’s reach. “Besides, at the very least I deserve a dance downstairs.”
Lewis took a good look at her mussed hair and swollen lips. There was no hiding what they’d been up to, that was for sure.
Well, she’d wanted people to notice.
Linus was stepping onto the dais to speak when they entered the ballroom. As soon as he saw them, he motioned impatiently for Susan to join him. Lewis stepped back into the shadows and watched as she hurried to the front of the ballroom. At least a half-dozen heads turned in her direction.
And she thought no one noticed her.
When she reached the stage area, Linus whispered something in her ear. Judging from the way she turned crimson, he could guess the commentary.
“I promise I won’t stand up here long,” Linus said, “because I know you’d much rather eat and drink free food than listen to anyone named Collier drone on. But my sister Susan and I wanted to take a few minutes and say thank you. This has been a true comeback year for Collier’s. Thanks to your efforts, the Collier name is poised to continue succeeding, not only for the upcoming year, but with luck, for another four hundred!”
When the polite laughter subsided, he raised his glass. “Seriously, Collier’s would be nothing without our employees. So on behalf of Thomas, Susan and myself—along with all our executive staff—thank you, happy holidays and a very happy New Year. Now get out there on the dance floor and have a good time!”
The crowd applauded, and the deejay struck up a party song. Lewis waited until Susan stepped off the stage before sauntering toward her.
“Now can we go home?” He already knew the answer, but he wanted to see her skin blush again when he made the suggestion.
At the same time, Linus walked by. “Nice of you to join us,” he said, giving them both a look. “We’ll talk later, Susan.”
Lewis looked back at her with a frown. “Are you in trouble?”
“Nothing dire. Although you could have told me my bun was falling.”
“Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” His hands settled on her hips, fingers splaying outward. “Everything seems in place to me.” He paused. “Oh. Now that you say something, it does look a little disheveled.” Dipping his head, he whispered. “As if you were snogging on the rooftop.”
Score another blush. If he thought she’d agree, he’d drag her back to the rooftop for a repeat performance. Seeing as how they couldn’t, they’d have to find another way to fill the time. “Since we’re going to stay,” he said, “would you rather eat or dance?”
As if to help his argument along, the deejay began to play a Christmas love song. Susan’s arms looped around his neck. “Dance,” she said.
Good. Food was overrated.
They did eat eventually and mingle, as well. He wished Susan could have seen herself from his vantage point. She was charming and funny as she moved from group to group. Not a shred of shrewishness or unlikability in sight. “For a wallflower, you are amazingly charismatic,” he told her later, while they were dancing. It was the end of the night, and the deejay was playing the last slow dance of the evening, or rather the fifth last slow dance as Lewis had slipped him a few bills to keep the songs coming.
“If I was, it’s because I had a star on my shoulder,” Susan replied. She had her cheek against his lapel and her arms wrapped around his waist. They probably looked more like they were hugging than dancing. “You make me feel charismatic.”
Nonsense. She was her own star. She didn’t need him to be anything. Someday she’d realize that.
“People are leaving. I don’t suppose Linus will release you from duty.”
“Afraid not,” she replied. “Even if I weren’t in the doghouse, I’m stuck here until the last employee leaves. Turns out that’s the tradition. Something Linus said I’d know if I hadn’t skipped out all the time.”
“Any way we can convince all the employees to leave now? Pull a fire alarm or something?” He was dying to get her home so he could peel off that dress and share his good news. In that order.
“I wish.” Letting out a long sigh, Susan burrowed closer. “Why don’t you just tell me your news now? You know you’re dying to, and I’m dying to hear it.”
“Won’t be as fun though.” Still, she was right about him being eager to tell her. “Let’s sit down though.” It was the kind of news best told face-to-face.
“Do you remember when Graham Montclark said he would vouch for my character if necessary?” he asked once they’d settled in at a nearby cocktail table. Susan nodded. “Turns out, he went ahead and vouched anyway.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I got a call this morning from his network asking me to come in for a meeting. They’ve decided to add a new face to their game-coverage team and they think I’m the right face.”
Slowly, Susan’s eyes widened as the meaning of his news settled over her. “Are you saying...?”
“It worked.” Man, but it felt amazing to finally say the words out loud. “Our crazy plan worked!”