Lexi grabbed her forehead with both hands in an effort to keep her head from exploding and tried to remain calm. Pressing firmly and attempting to keep her voice steady, she said, ‘Ralph, I’ve asked you a million times, will you please put your shoes on?’ Ralph’s eyes, trained on the TV, didn’t move. ‘Ralph?’ His head spun and he looked at his mother as if this were the first time he’d noticed her existence.
‘Pardon?’
‘Oh, for the love of—’ Reining in her annoyance because he had at least said pardon rather than what, she took a deep breath and let go of her skull. ‘Ralph, will you please put your shoes on?’ He ran to the hall and found his trainers then back into the living room and put them on the wrong feet. Lexi rolled her eyes. How was this boy ever going to make it in the real world? How did he even manage to get through school? She squeezed her eyes shut and counted to ten. At least it was a Saturday and she didn’t have the pressure of his teacher tut-tutting at her if she was late. ‘You need to swap them over, darling.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’ve got them on the wrong feet.’
‘But I don’t mind them like that.’ His eyes went back to the television.
At this she smiled. ‘I know you don’t mind but it’ll hurt your feet.’
‘It won’t. I wore them like this to school yesterday.’
‘No you didn’t, Ralph. You wore your proper school shoes and I made sure you’d put them on right.’
‘But I wore them like this after PE and they were fine.’ He was speaking to her over his shoulder.
‘Ralph, please.’
‘Oh, all right.’ With his eyes still on the TV screen, he begrudgingly swapped them over.
At least that was one battle won. Now to chase Taylor. ‘Taylor? Taylor? Come on, sweetheart. We really need to go now.’ Taylor came down the stairs wearing a skirt she had folded over at the waistband to make even shorter, a crop top and Lexi’s favourite pair of red high heels. Taylor paused in her favourite model pose – one hand on a jutted-out hip. My daughter wants to be a hooker, thought Lexi, desperately. That’ll be a fun conversation at parents’ evening. Lexi played it out in her head. ‘How is my daughter getting on with her reading, Mrs Berry?’
‘Oh, fine.’
‘Excellent, she’ll be able to read her criminal record then. And maths?’
‘Yes, she’s very good at maths.’
‘Fantastic. She’ll have no problem counting out fivers in dark alleys.’
Lexi reminded herself, as she did every morning, that today she wasn’t going to be a shouty mum. ‘Taylor, you can’t go out like that, sweetie. Can you please go back upstairs and get changed?’
‘But I look cool!’ Her eight-year-old tried to stamp her foot but in the high-heeled shoes nearly fell down the stairs. After Lexi had instinctively jumped forwards, and Taylor had regained her balance, her heartrate returned to normal.
‘Taylor, get changed now. Please. You need something warmer – it’s still cold outside. And you’re not wearing my shoes.’
‘But Mum, I can walk in them.’
‘No, you can’t.’
‘Yes, I can. Look—’
Lexi’s temper flared. Why did they have to argue with literally everything she said? ‘Taylor Elizabeth Stockton, go and get changed.’
‘But Muuuum.’
‘No buts. I want to go into town and I want to go now. I need to ask Stella something.’ She paused from delivering the blow they were going to hate most. ‘And we’re walking.’
‘Oh why?’ moaned Ralph, finally turning around. The little toad paid attention when he wanted to.
Lexi didn’t want to admit that she was nearly out of petrol and didn’t have enough money to fill up the car. What little she had she needed to keep for school runs this week. ‘Because it’ll be good for you.’
Taylor stomped off upstairs to get changed.
‘Why can’t we get the bus?’ asked Ralph. ‘I like the bus.’
Lexi grabbed her wallet from her bag and double-checked its contents, just in case a fairy had appeared overnight and added some spare change. Apart from the five-pound note she needed to keep it was empty. She fixed a smile and replied as cheerfully as possible, ‘No, darling, we’re going to walk.’
‘Oh. But it’s raining.’
‘It’s not raining.’ She eyed the fine drizzle and threatening sky outside. ‘It’s just a bit grey. I’m sure we’ll be fine. And we can take umbrellas just in case.’ The sad look on her son’s face yanked at her heartstrings. As always, she felt like a terrible mother. If only their family hadn’t broken apart. If she and Will were still together they might be able to afford the bus. As it was, she was being forced to use some of the emergency money she kept in her knicker drawer to pay for dinner, and even that was going to have to be from the discounted aisle. She really was a failure. Feeling tears well up, she sniffed. ‘I tell you what though, we can go by the duck pond and feed the ducks if you like.’ There were a couple of slightly mouldy crusts in the bottom of the bread bin they could use.
‘Yay!’ Ralph smiled and seeing his bright blue eyes, Lexi smiled too.
Taylor descended the stairs in a pair of leggings and full-length top. Pausing on the final step she flung her arms in the air. ‘I look like a farmer.’
A giggle erupted from Lexi, releasing a wave of love for her stroppy daughter. ‘A what?’
‘A farmer.’ Taylor pouted.
Lexi went to her daughter, cupped her cheeks in her hands and placed a kiss on the end of her nose. ‘Come on, Farmer Taylor. We’re going to feed the ducks on the walk into town.’
After Taylor had flounced around and flung herself dramatically into her coat and shoes, they made their way to town, via the duck pond. Just around the corner from their house there was a little green and a small pond. Though Lexi’s kids moaned about the drizzle when they were walking, they were still content to feed the fat, well-supplied ducks and splash in the puddles. Taylor, being a big girl now, had her own umbrella that she used as a prop as she sang and danced along, while Ralph was content to hold his mum’s hand and together they sploshed their way along the cobbles of the high street, past the rainy windows of the boutique shops and posh cafés singing, ‘Rain, rain, go away, come again another day’. It wasn’t that long a walk, but with any luck, they’d be tired out by the time they got home.
Before long they were at old Herbert’s shop and Lexi opened the door for the kids who charged in at full speed. ‘Slow down, you two, there’s precious stuff in here. Hi, Stella.’
‘Hi, Lexi how—’
‘Look at that doggy,’ cried Ralph, running towards Frank who had woken up at the sound of the shop bell. At the thought of getting a fuss he sat up in his basket, wagging his tail so fast he could have taken off if he wasn’t so fat.
‘He’s so cute,’ replied Taylor, following her brother.
‘This is Frank,’ Stella said. ‘And he really loves kids. You can stroke him if you like; he’s very friendly. He won’t bite, but he might lick you. He’s quite a licky dog.’
Ralph and Taylor smiled and sat on the floor petting Frank while Lexi approached Stella. Her nerves had been mounting all the way into town but she’d managed to keep them at bay with the help of the children distracting her. Now there was no getting away from it. She had to ask. ‘Stella?’ said Lexi, moving to the furthest end of the counter, away from her children. Stella followed, her brows knitted together.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yes, fine. I just … I just need to ask you something.’
‘Ask away,’ she replied.
Lexi chewed the inside of her cheek. God, she hated being in this position. ‘I was wondering if you were planning on getting a cleaner for the holiday lets?’
‘A cleaner?’ echoed Stella, her eyes wide in surprise. Lexi shifted nervously, hoping Stella would lower her voice. She must have flicked her eyes over to the kids because Stella’s gaze followed hers and her voice quietened. ‘I hadn’t really thought about it yet but I suppose I’ll have to eventually for the busy summer months. Especially if people come mid-week. Why do you ask?’
Lexi looked over to see Ralph trying to bat Taylor’s hand away so she couldn’t stroke the dog. They were occupied by their argument and not listening. It was about the only time she’d ever been grateful for one of their arguments. Feeling shame burn away at her cheeks she said, ‘I wondered if you might take me on when you get to that point. I can make it fit around the café job. I’ve already checked with Raina. I really need the money at the moment.’ If Stella wasn’t taking anyone on yet she had no idea what she’d do. There wasn’t much else that could fit in with school and the café.
Stella leaned in closer. ‘Isn’t Will paying his child support or something?’
‘No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just that …’ Lexi shook her head. ‘With Will being a self-employed roofer he hasn’t had much work lately. I know he’ll pay me as much as he can and make up for this when he’s getting the work in, but things are really hard for him right now, which means they’re hard for me too.’ She wondered if he still had enough money to go to the pub, like he had when the children were babies, leaving her tired and alone, but she hadn’t asked him. There was no point in starting a row over the past when other things would most certainly get brought up.
‘I see.’ Stella nodded. ‘Okay, I need to do the sums, but I should be able to give you a few hours starting now.’ She was clearly thinking aloud and Lexi hated putting her on the spot like this. ‘It’ll have to come out of the holiday let profits but on the plus side it’ll mean I don’t have to keep shutting the shop to nip off and clean. I don’t want people getting the idea the shop isn’t open when they want it to be.’ Lexi was relieved to see a big smile come to Stella’s face. ‘I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before actually. It could work out really well. My first people are due to go on Monday. Could you start then?’
Lexi nodded as relief eased the tension in her neck.
‘Are you okay otherwise though? I mean, can you manage?’
‘I think so. Things are tight, so I won’t be buying that fabric any time soon, but I’ve got just about enough to pay the rent and I’ve already phoned the gas and electric companies and explained the situation. We’ve agreed that I’ll pay a little each month and top it up when I can. They were really nice actually. I hadn’t expected them to be.’
‘I suppose it’s in their interests to keep your business and have some money coming in even if it’s not always as much as they’d like. They must know you’ll pay.’
‘I will. I’ve never missed payments before. This is the first time things have been that bad for Will. I feel really sorry for him. He’s so stressed out.’
‘And you?’ Stella’s kind smile and genuine affection nearly made her cry.
‘I’m super stressed,’ she admitted. ‘I’m having to feed us on a really tight budget and that means lots of vegetables to bulk up meals, which the kids hate. I try and hide them but I haven’t got time to mess about. They just have to force it down.’
‘What will you do with the kids if you have to work after school?’
‘I’m not sure yet.’ Lexi shrugged. ‘Raina said I could do earlies and Carol, who also works at the café, has agreed to do the afternoons, but there are some days we’re not quite sure about yet. That way, I could work there in the morning and split the shift to do the holiday lets. After-school club costs money – money I don’t have.’ She rubbed her tired eyes. Since Will had come around a few days ago to explain that he couldn’t make all of this month’s payment she’d hardly slept.
‘They could stay here with me, if you like?’ Stella said, watching them happily playing with Frank.
‘Really?’ asked Lexi.
‘Yeah, of course. They seem like little angels. They could do their homework or watch TV in the flat and you’ll either be next door or upstairs if anything goes wrong. Frank should keep them occupied.’
Lexi didn’t know what to say. She was desperately trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes. She hated crying in front of the kids but this was more than she could ever have hoped for. ‘Thank you so much.’
‘Mummy?’ asked Ralph. ‘Are you crying?’
‘No, darling,’ she said laughing and wiping away a tear. ‘I just had something in my eye.’
‘Mummy?’ asked Taylor. ‘Can we get a puppy?’
‘After what happened to Graham the goldfish? Not a chance.’ Stella looked up with a quizzical expression. ‘Don’t ask,’ Lexi replied. ‘Just don’t ask.’ A strange banging sound came from next door. ‘What’s that? You never said you were having work done.’
‘I’m not.’ A redness flooded Stella’s cheeks and she glanced at Taylor and Ralph, then back to Lexi and mumbled, ‘It’s the couple I’ve got staying. They haven’t stopped bonking since the moment they arrived and the bedroom is right next to that wall there.’ She pointed to the wall that separated the shop and the holiday lets.
Lexi’s mouth fell open in surprise but she kept her voice low. ‘Is that the bed bashing the wall?’ Stella nodded. ‘Oh my God! She’ll get cystitis going at it like that.’
‘Not to mention she’s ruining my headboard. And my wall.’
Lexi, feeling like she could breathe for the first time in a week, began to giggle.
‘What’s that noise, Mummy?’ asked Ralph.
‘Just some hammering next door,’ she replied, and she and Stella exchanged glances before bursting out laughing.