Illustrator Anna Zh
Translator Ludmila Starikova
© Tamara Gilfanova, 2018
© Anna Zh, illustrations, 2018
© Ludmila Starikova, translation, 2018
ISBN 978-5-4493-4286-7
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Bathtime stories Adventures in a bathroom
By Tamara Gilfanova
Illustrated by Anna Zhandarovich
To my beloved sons, who keep me busy all day long.
To Arthur, Marat and Rolan. T.G.
© Original story by Tamara Gilfanova, 2018
© Original art by Anna Zhandarovich, 2018
Translated into English by Ludmila Starikova, 2018
The Whale
Two brothers were sitting in a bathtub.
Two brothers were sitting in a bathtub. White foam hills rose above the water; everything around looked white. The bath seemed like the Arctic Ocean, complete with ice and snow.
“Hello, Arthuuuuuur!” howled a blue whale, “Hello, Marat!”
“Hello, whale!” joyfully exclaimed Arthur.
Marat was still a baby, so he only spoke his own version of the baby language. But he understood English and Whalish very well.
“Looly-whully,” Marat greeted the whale.
“How did you get here?!” Arthur asked the whale. “I thought the whales are migrating South during winters!”
Arthur loved sea animals and knew a lot about them.
“Yeaaaah, that is true. My friends are gooooooone, and I took too long to pack my suitcase and was late,” responded the whale.
“Whoa! I had no idea that the whales have suitcases!” said Arthur, surprised.
“Whoa-moa,” added Marat.
Although he was still a baby, he was quite sure that the whales do not have suitcases.
“Whoa! I had no idea that the whales have suitcases!” said Arthur, surprised.
“Yes, you are right! But people throw a lot of things into the ocean. I found a suitcase and decided to keep it,” – responded the whale. “I collected seashells and pretty pebbles to give as presents to my friends, sea turtles and dolphins. They never travel so far north. But I hesitated and missed my whale group’s departure. How will I find the way south now?!” asked the whale, sadly.
“Ooooooh,” Marat howled in Whalish.
“Yes! We can help you!” confirmed Arthur, who was a serious boy, never afraid of challenging tasks. He had a kind heart; he could never leave a whale in need of help.
The whale swam all over the tub and realized with horror that he was not in the ocean, but in a giant fish tank! How did he get here? Nobody knew.
Just then an excellent idea came to Marat’s head.
“Goody-goody,” he said to his brother.
“Exactly,” agreed Arthur, “Why didn’t I think of it myself! We need to call the pelican.”
Arthur picked the pelican by the handle on his back, got a full beak of water and poured it onto the floor, sonorously, like a waterfall.
The boys did not like the pelican. He always helped their mom wash their heads. The pelican was a watering can; he got a full beak of water and poured it right onto your head. Sometimes the water got into the eyes and ears. The boys just hated it! But the pelican was a good guy, with a broad beak-long smile. He would happily help the whale swim back into the ocean! Arthur picked the pelican by the handle on his back, got a full beak of water and poured it onto the floor, sonorously, like a waterfall. The water splashed in all directions! Marat started a storm in the meanwhile. He splashed with arms and legs as hard, as he could, making giant waves, which loudly splashed over the bathtub. The whale sprayed a fountain into the ceiling with joy.
“Holy Molly, can’t look away for a second! You’re about to flood the house!” said mom.
“Marat’s idea,” Arthur admitted, honestly.
Mom swam away to get a bucket and a rug out of a cabinet.
“You’re about to flood the house!” said mom.
“Splash-splash,” splashed her slippers.
Mom got dry towels off the shelf. She threw those onto the floor to save the house from the flood, oohing and aahing, trying to explain something in the meanwhile. Arthur and Marat rejoiced. They were happy that the whale had the chance to travel back to his relatives before their own mother drained the ENTIRE ocean!
“All done! Enough bathing!” mom said sternly and pulled the boys out of the water. She carefully wrapped them in towels and ran down this stairs with a bucket in her hand.
The bathroom was on the second floor. And it rained heavily on the first floor. Straight off the ceiling, raindrops fell, drumming on the bottom of the bucket. The bucket that mum brought. The boys rejoiced yet again!
Laughing, they threw the towels off and ran to jump in the rain. Luckily, the experienced mother quickly caught those darlings, hugged them, kissed them, helped them with their pajamas and put them bed.
“Aww-ooow!” said Marat in Whalish.
“Good-night to you to, brother,” whispered Arthur.
“Good-night to you to, brother,” whispered Arthur.
The Squid
They were hereditary pirates
This story had also happened to Arthur and Marat in the bathtub, as you might have guessed. Why do the best things always happen in the bathtub? The boys had two ideas in that regard: first – because they were hereditary pirates. Also, because water was really their element. And mom always found her own boring things to do in the bathroom. Like scrubbing the sink or polishing the toilet. Or sorting socks for that matter. Perfect time for the two guys to have a bathtub adventure. Each pirate had his own end of the tub.
The captain – a brave pirate named Arthur the Crazy Roar scanned the area with his high-grade-royal- paper-towel-roll-spy-glass and discovered a magazine. Seemed sort of ordinary; with letters and pictures. Immediately, the captain felt the need to read, right there, in a bathtub. Because he was that kind of a pirate. To tell the truth, he could not read very well, but who needs to read when there are so many pictures?
Marat the Jolly Lad saw the magazine in the captain’s hands and also felt the urge to immediately read. (Or look at the pictures, at the very least!)
“Aboard! Arr!” yelled the Jolly Lad and stormed his brother’s end of the tub. With a yell and a splash the Crazy Roar lost his hold of the magazine to the Jolly Lad. We have to mention here – the vivacious pirate had barely learned to talk, so he did not feel like negotiating. However, who can expect the Crazy Roar to give up easily? He put up a fight worth a million thunderbolts. The waters rose high and the sea blackened, arr! The ink from the tattered magazine blurred over the sea surface in a big black blotch. The pirates quieted for a second.
The squid did it!
“The squid did it!” Captain Crazy Roar was about to conspire.
“Yes. I know for a fact, when squids sense any danger, they release ink in to the water.”
Captain Crazy Roar sniffed the air to make sure. He had to be certain that it was squid, not a skunk of some sort, spraying. The pirates looked around. Where is the sea monster? The water was murky and dark, one could barely see anything in it. That only meant that the monster could be, literally, anywhere! Marat decided it was time to get out of the water, before the squid gets him with its tentacles. He got up and discovered that his skin was all covered in ink! A fascinating look, very fit for a pirate.
He began to dance.
“Ouch,” said Arthur the Crazy Roar, looking at his brother, pondering.
He wondered whether he was about to get in trouble with mom because of Jolly Lad’s new coloring. If the younger pirates make trouble, the older ones always take the blame. Marat just began to dance. Once you get the ink on, you might as well go on with your ritual. This was the “Sea Monster scaring dance.”
“Now, he is gone!” claimed Marat solemnly.
“Why did you scare him off?” asked Arthur.
“How is mom supposed to believe that it was the squid inking the water, if he is gone?”
The pirates fell silent for a moment, thinking about the ways to fix things. One is supposed to come out of the bathroom cleaner than before entering. Not otherwise. The pirates just knew – mom would not appreciate their new style. She would not have the slightest idea of the Kidland traditions and rituals. The pirates heard a rumble. It was mom, running into toys and corners on her way to the bathroom. She approached like a fire truck, fast and loud.
“Why is it so quiet in there?” she wondered.
Then she entered the bathroom and saw the two – inked black. Then she saw the water in a tub. Murky and dark.
“What happened here?” asked mom.
And then the boys remembered how it all began.
“The magazine!” they replied in chorus.
They began to search for the magazine with their hands under the water. Surprisingly, they did recover some wet paper. In their little hands the paper began to turn into white slime. The most amazing part – the pages were absolutely white – not a picture, not a letter.
“The invisible squid stole the magazine! He left this!” said Arthur and put his discovery right under mom’s nose.
“Oh, that’s why he visited! Yes! And his ink made our hands look old,” said the boy, looking at his skin that now looked pruny and wrinkly.
“Ouch! We are little grandpas now!” yelled the brothers, hoping that mom would pity them.
“What? What grandpas? What squid?” Mom was indignant.
She started washing and scrubbing the boys.
“The invisible squid!” howled Marat, whose head was now all covered in soap.
“A spy!” concluded Arthur.
