CHAPTER EIGHT

Nyla approached the row of identical gray houses with little enthusiasm. After her mother’s incarceration, the family no longer had income, so she and Grandmother Ruby were forced into government housing. There was no stigmatism associated with government provided essentials since it provided most services to the majority of the public, but accepting anything from the authorities made Nyla feel shackled.

“Ignition off,” Nyla muttered, her body slumped in the seat, hesitant to leave the car.

She stared out over the landscape, her eyes focusing on nothing in particular as she thought about her heritage. When her grandmother and mother first arrived in New Mexico, people still chose their own jobs, homes, friends and leisure activities, and people still greeted each other with handshakes, smiles and warm conversation. Surveillance cameras were absent and street monitors were unheard of. They were proud and independent. Few relied on the government and none wanted the control dependency inevitably created. She wondered why everyone had given in so easily.

Nyla reluctantly exited the car and strolled toward the house, her mind still on the past. When her grandmother had arrived, radio frequency identification tags, microchips and DNA sampling were still optional, but before long, the power of the State Law and Information Commission grew and life had become almost as oppressive as the rest of the country. SLIC still wasn’t as powerful in the sparsely populated Southwest, primarily due to geography, otherwise Nyla and her friends would have never considered the daring adventure they’d just committed to.

Pausing before going inside, she scanned her neighborhood. Over the years, she had located all the surveillance cameras and found one camera hidden and positioned solely to watch her homeit hadn’t surprised her given their situation. Nyla had examined it and felt confident she could adjust its field of view to exclude her house, but she had left it alone, not wanting to test her knowledge before necessary.

Nyla couldn’t put it off any longer. She had to go inside. She disliked the dreary confines of their house and knew Grandmother Ruby did too. Ruby had migrated west seeking a better life for her daughter, but instead Rachel had ended up in the Facility. Now Ruby was left with a strong-willed granddaughter, several photographs and a hand-written journal. The memorabilia always inspired longing in Nyla and she treasured the stories of how her grandparents met and fell in love, tales of their travels, growing up with siblings, and starting their family together. The pictures showed a life full of adventure and they gave Nyla courage, which she needed now more than ever.

She flashed her palm over the scanner pad and waited as the door eased open. As Nyla entered the dimly lit, sterile environment, she spotted her grandmother sitting in a dark corner of the living room. Ruby was still and ashen and the look sent fear coursing through Nyla’s body.

“Grandmother, look at me.”

Ruby peered up through dull lifeless eyes. “Don’t look so frightened and sad. I so miss the warm smile you used to wear when you were young. I would ask where it’s gone, but unfortunately I know.”

“What is it, Grandmother? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a doctor?”

“My physical health is fine and my mental health is beyond repair. Turn on the radio and sit with me for a while.”

Nyla did as requested, but became even more concerned since Ruby despised the state-run radio stations. They seldom turned on the broadcasts unless they wanted interference. She sat next to her grandmother and they both wrapped their left hand with a towel. Nyla felt certain the embedded chips couldn’t transmit voices or she would have been arrested years ago, but Ruby never took any chances.

“Nyla, I burned the photographs today.”

“Why? How could you do that? I loved those pictures. They gave me hope. They made me dream.”

“I know and it frightens me. Your mother had dreams and look what happened. This life may not be what I consider free, but it’s better than being locked up. Maybe we’re just abnormal dissidents, the three of us. Most of society has accepted the new order without complaint.”

“What about your journal?”

“I should have destroyed it too, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it yet. But those are my memories, Nyla, not yours, and I don’t want you reading it anymore.”

“What happened to you? You’re the one who kept migrating west to retain your personal freedoms. You didn’t just give up and conform like everyone else and I’m not willing to conform either. You were strong, you inspired mother and you inspire me.”

The old woman hung her head as if ashamed. She looked so beaten down that anger surged through Nyla. She hated what society had done to her family and she wanted someone to pay though had no idea who or how.

“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have downplayed my relationship with your grandfather. He was my best friend, my companion, my love, and to this day, I miss him so much my heart aches. There is no way to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced the love of a soul mate what it feels like to have someone to share every intimate detail of your life. Living without a special person probably isn’t difficult for those who have never known any different, but I filled your mother’s head, and I fear yours, with great expectations. Men and women sharing life the way God intended is over, as well as being allowed to believe in God at all. You must forget about my past.”

Nyla knew exactly how her grandmother felt, but was embarrassed to admit that Ethan made her feel the same way. He was her friend, her companion and she cherished every moment they spent together. The thought of him being taken away from her was more than she could bear. She had been able to deal with all of the other disappointments in her life, but it was with his help that she had survived. If he were taken from her, who would help through the loss?

“No! No, it isn’t over Grandmother. Showing emotion, making choices and practicing religion may be prohibited, but it isn’t over. We are still human and we have the right to decide with whom we share our lives. We should be allowed to be angry, happy, or sad, even if those emotions disrupt the orderly balance. I won’t let it be over.”

“I know this is confusing, but you must try to conform. I tell you this for your own good.”

Nyla sat in stunned silence. She knew Ruby only wanted what was best for her, but her grandmother’s abrupt change in attitude and the loss of the photographs sent panic reeling through Nyla’s mind. She suddenly feared she was chasing a utopia that never had nor never would exist. Was the life she had convinced herself and her friends to go after even out there? Doubts roiled over as she ran to her room, threw herself down on her bed and cried.

Ruby shuffled out of the room, clicking off the radio as she went. Nyla could hear shrill beeps sounding from the kitchen, signaling her grandmother was preparing dinner. There were none of the wonderful smells her mother described from her time in Mexico. There was no clang of metal pots or the sizzling sound of frying food, only the dismal chime of the timer indicating their pre-packaged, nutritionally-balanced, government-approved, tasteless meals were ready.

The food was scientifically formulated to make people live longer healthier lives, but Nyla wasn’t sure why that was such a coveted concept. She also had a great deal of mistrust about what the meals actually contained. Claire had overheard her mother talking a few years back about a new formula being incorporated into all meals to prevent citizens from experiencing mood swings, keeping everyone on an even keel. They weren’t sure what was involved, but suspected all citizens were being drugged to keep them in an agreeable haze. After that, the guys had sneaked as much fresh food as they could to them, but it had only been enough to supplement their diets and had not enabled them to avoid the approved rations all together.

Ruby didn’t call when dinner was ready, she didn’t need to. The alarms could be heard throughout the small house. Nyla had no appetite. She seldom did because the food was so bland and she had no desire to have her mood altered. Despite her lack of appetite, Nyla dried her tears and went to the kitchen. She sat across from Ruby but didn’t look up, afraid her grandmother would see she had been crying. She was ashamed and angry, and the more Nyla thought about her grandmother’s resignation, the more her temper soared.

Microchips and radio frequency identification tags were implanted in every American’s palm and the people embraced the concept when it was presented as a replacement to social security cards, credit cards, cash, keys and driver’s licenses. Crime was virtually non-existent and lawsuits a thing of the past. But, the proudest accomplishment claimed by the politicians was the end to border problems. The politicians claimed that savvy U.S. foreign policy and technology stemmed the tide of Mexicans flooding the borders, but Nyla knew differently. Letters Crystal received from family in Mexico told the truth. Mexican citizens simply no longer wanted to come to America and those already there like Crystal, dreamed of going home.

As Nyla sat across from her grandmother and ate in silence, her mind drifted to the cliffs overlooking the Rio Bravo. Thinking about retracing her mother’s footsteps helped Nyla subdue her anger and disappointment at losing her grandmother’s photographs and to focus on the future.

“I’m sorry I got so upset, it was childish. In this house, you have the freedom to do anything you wish with your belongings. I had no right to question your actions.”

“I’m relieved you understand. I just want you to be happy and how can you if imprisoned?”

“I’m not sure if I even know what it means to be happy. To most of society happiness has become synonymous with an uncomplicated existence, but that’s not enough for me.”

“I’m sure it’s not. Like your mother, you are definitely a complicated woman.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Nyla whispered sheepishly.

A hint of a smile creased Ruby’s thin lips. She reached into the front pocket of her blouse, pulled out a small ragged photograph, and gazed at it lovingly. “Here, I saved just one and I want you to have it, but you must never be caught with it.”

Nyla accepted the photograph and gazed at the picture. Her grandparents were sitting on a colorful quilt under a huge tree. Ruby was holding a baby Nyla knew instantly was her mother. Ruby’s head rested on her grandfather’s chest and both had smiles unlike anything Nyla could ever remember seeing on her grandmother’s lips. Two small children with beaming smiles stood nearby and the family looked so happy and natural Nyla had to look away to keep from crying.

“Thank you, Grandmother. I’ll cherish this forever.”