CHAPTER ELEVEN

Ethan and Jared hoped there wouldn’t be any clogs in the irrigation pipes since immersing their hands in dirty water might introduce infection into their open wounds. As far as anyone at the farm noticing their bandaged palms, they doubted there would be any risk.

As they did every night, Ethan and Jared scoured the communal refrigerator looking for the leftovers that Jared’s mom, Leah, would have held back for them. It was the closest thing to maternal caregiving either could ever remember getting. They located the meals and sat at the small table in the corner of the kitchen to eat their solitary dinner.

“Are you going to miss her?” Ethan asked.

“A little bit. I think deep down Leah cares about me and whenever I try to talk to her about my future, I see sadness creep into her eyes. I know she’s ashamed of accepting my fate. On the other hand, she’s done nothing to try to change it either. How about you?”

“Nope. I assume the only reason, with sexual selection and sperm sorting available, that Vera decided to have a male child was for farm labor. I’m sure I wasn’t an accident like you or she would have aborted me. My only regret is not being around to see her or one of my communal sisters pull their first snake from a pipe,” Ethan replied, bitterness lacing his voice.

Ethan and Jared mentally drifted away, fantasizing about another life in a distant land. Peace had settled over the quiet room when their dreams were interrupted by the sound of Leah’s gentle voice.

“Oh good, you found your dinner.”

They nodded and thanked her while continuing to eat. Leah stood behind Jared and made no motion of moving on, so he scooted over closer to Ethan to make room for her to sit with them at the table. It wasn’t uncommon for Leah to join them, but tonight they would have preferred to be left alone with their thoughts and bandaged palms.

Leah sat for a moment, hands clasped together and resting on the table, eyes focused on her weathered fingers. Farm work and the desert’s environmental elements had not been kind to her skin. She supposed she should care, but wasn’t sure why. She had no desire to relive her eventless youth and it didn’t matter what anyone else thought of her looks—she would still live the same life with the same people and would eventually die alone. The room was so quiet she could hear Ethan and Jared chewing their food. It was clear their minds had drifted far away. The emotional distance between them made a lump form in her throat and tears sting her eyes.

“Ethan, have you talked to your mother this evening? I know Vera was looking for you earlier. I think something came for you by special courier.”

Metal forks clanging on plates ripped through the silence of the secluded kitchen and tore Ethan’s and Jared’s focus away from their meals. They looked at each other, panic visible in their wide-eyed expressions. Both knew nothing positive ever came the old-fashioned way. All correspondence was electronic unless it was a legal order.

“I’m sorry to upset you in the middle of dinner, but I assume it’s important.”

“I’m not upset, I’m scared as hell. You know as well as we do that it can only be one of two things and neither is very good.”

“I’m truly sorry. I’ve dreaded you two growing up, but it had to happen eventually. I just wanted to warn you so you could prepare yourself,” Leah said as she stood up and left the room.

Ethan felt sorry for blowing up at Leah, since she was only trying to forewarn him. At least she knew him well enough to understand why he would be upset, unlike his own mother.

“Surely it isn’t my career options form, like we really have a choice. They can’t send me away. I’m not even finished with my career prep yet. So the only other thing SLIC can want from me they aren’t going to get. They can just get these superior genes from somewhere else.”

Jared burst out laughing. “Superior, huh? Someone sure is full of himself.”

“You think this if funny? Be realistic Jared. In this matriarchal society’s quest for perfection they wouldn’t collect anything less and that’s precisely what we came from.”

Ethan pushed back from the table and shoved his chair, sending it skidding across the tile floor, coming to a stop in the center of the kitchen and tumbling over.

“Well, I can’t be drafted if she can’t find me. If Vera comes looking for me, tell her I’m in the field and I’ll probably be out there for a very long time.”

Jared didn’t try to stop Ethan. He knew the best thing for his friend was to be alone so he could clear his head. He doubted Ethan would be able to hide from Vera for long, but Jared hoped it would be long enough for them to escape and avoid the indignity awaiting them.

As soon as Ethan had gone, Leah returned to the kitchen. Jared watched as she picked up the chair from the floor where Ethan had left it and sat next to him. She placed her hand over his and patted it gently.

“I’m so proud of you. You’ve grown into such a kind, caring and handsome young man. I sometimes fear those traits will draw people closer to you than is permissible.”

“Don’t worry and don’t cry. Tears are pointless.”

“But, son, I’m scared for Ethan and for you. I don’t know what to do. I know I agreed to accept your place in society when I refused to abort you, but I don’t know if I can.”

“Yes you can, Mom. We’ll be okay. If you try to do anything to change our future, you’ll end up in the Facility, which won’t do either one of us any good. You’re the only one around here who gives a damn and you’ve done your best for me and Ethan and we appreciate it.”

“It just doesn’t feel right. You deserve more. You’re a good boy and so is Ethan,” she said as her eyes filled with tears again. “No, you’re not boys anymore, you’re men, good men, and that’ll buy you a little time, but it won’t buy you the freedom to choose your future or to hold on to those who mean the most to you. I can’t bear the thought of you and Ethan leaving the farm. It just won’t be the same place without you two and I can’t help but wonder where you will have to go and if you’ll be safe.”

Jared was concerned by the frightened look he saw in his mother’s eyes. She had never been as strong and unemotional as Ethan’s mom, which he was thankful for most of the time, but now he almost wished she were as cold as Vera. Knowing Leah cared would make it harder to leave and he hoped she wouldn’t do anything rash.

“Everything will be okay. The fact that you’ve always cared what happens to us means more than you know. You’ve been a good mother to Ethan and me, and you’ve made living here tolerable. Heck, if it wasn’t for you we might have starved to death.” He shoved the last bite of fresh green beans into his mouth and smiled.

“I can’t believe you don’t hate me along with every other woman. I almost wish you did, because I’m afraid your honest affection for certain women will only bring you trouble.”

Jared knew she was worried about him spending so much time with Claire and Nyla, but she had always skirted the subject. Her shame about his future had become evident to him the older he got and he had done nothing to ease her guilt, using it to do whatever he wanted.

“Most women have lost all sense of what’s right and wrong, but you always taught me not to hate anyone. You encouraged me to look for peaceful solutions to problems. Be assured I’ve learned my lessons well and I thank you for that.” He slid his hand out from under hers and stood to leave.

“Wait,” Leah pleaded as she grabbed his arm.

Jared stopped and looked down at her. He thought for a moment she intended to hug him, though he couldn’t recall if she ever had before. For the first time he realized how small she was and how old she had become. He studied her closely, trying to memorize her face. He wanted to remember her the way she was now, caring and concerned for his and Ethan’s future.

Leah’s eyes filled with tears again. He hated moments like this. Displays of emotion were not something he was accustomed to and he didn’t know how to react. He waited for her to speak, but she didn’t. Slowly her hand slipped from his arm.

As he left his mother standing in the kitchen, Jared knew she was agonizing over Ethan’s fate and the fact he wouldn’t be far behind. He wanted to put her fears at ease, but there was nothing he could say to lessen her apprehensions without jeopardizing their future.ER