“Ananda” means bliss or rapture … I don’t know whether my
consciousness is proper consciousness or not; I don’t know whether what I know of my being is my proper being or not; but I do know where my rapture is. So let me hang on to rapture, and that will bring me both my consciousness and my being.
—joseph campbell
When the Secret Garden
Becomes a Garden of Bliss
The story doesn’t end with all of the strings neatly tied up in a “happily ever after” Hollywood finale. When this journey into the secret garden began several years ago, I imagined it would be neat, tidy, and rather businesslike. Follow the path and the inner guidance, and it will all come together in a smooth, easy, efficient way. But the nature of life is messy, chaotic, exquisitely beautiful, excruciatingly painful, immensely joy-filled, and unpredictable.
In the times between the beginnings of the journey on the French Riviera, the move into the Swiss Alps, the travels to Egypt and India, and the return to the American South, many happy and painful events transpired. My childhood writing dream came true and brought great joy as my first book, Awake in the World, appeared, won national awards, and found a home in hearts worldwide. But as one teacher said, “Life is a pleasure between two pains.” Just as I’d begun to get comfortable and settle into a routine in the U.S., my world shifted again. The mate that I’d so longed for taught me many lessons, then we parted; I moved to the seaside in Charleston, grieved the loss, and had to remake a new kind of life and move more deeply into contact with my soul. In troubling times especially, I continue to return to the healing space of the inner secret garden and linger, for here I find wholeness, peace, and joy.
I don’t believe the inner work ever really ends (and sometimes I feel I’d like to take a vacation!). Many heartaches, lost loves, and hurts followed that cut so deep that it seems they will never heal, but the more I dare to open and live the life that’s completely in tune with my soul-Self, the less I’m able to tolerate living in the way that others expect. Living a spiritual life may not be easy. It demands total authenticity. It brings you to dance to a unique song that only you can hear fully, and sometimes you dance alone because no others can hear the music. But it offers depth, beauty, vibrancy, and a life filled with such color and creative power that it becomes impossible to go back to living in that desert of a life that existed before you lived in deep alignment with the secret gardener of the soul.
Determining to dance with your soul, your secret gardener, and maintain a sacred soul garden that’s fit for her requires constant work. It demands checking in every day, every hour, and every minute to discover if the direction you want to take is her direction or the direction of some lesser aspect of yourself. I’ve not known anyone who commits to this work and gains an easy path in return. It’s often a path fraught with doubts, challenges, and constant and regular questioning about whether where we are now is where she (the soul-Self) wills us to be.
The soul-Self doesn’t follow the crowd. It encourages you to speak up when you need to and live by your truth. The way she suggested one time may not be the way she advises the next. My mind says, “Can’t you tell her we need to settle down?!” It sounds insistent, whiny. But when you decide to dance with the Divine as I have, you don’t question. You go with her, wherever she leads, even if it’s not where your little mind imagined you’d be.
In the secret garden, the soul gardener urges and coaxes us to remain ever near her, ever in constant contact. When we move away she tears our world apart to bring us back to her again, back to our knees, kneeling at her feet in the secret garden where we can once again bathe in her light and regain inspiration, vitality, and joy. She reminds us over and over not to put too much faith in the world or in the relationships and things “out there.” What counts is our life with her inside our secret garden and maintaining this peaceful inner place to return to again and again.
What I can tell you for sure is that without this inner sacred place and the contact with the soul, life would be utterly meaningless and I’d be reeling in confusion and lost in despair. Inner work that leads closer to her is all that really matters, because as it leads closer to her it leads to a more genuine life. As we live into this authentic life, the world around us becomes transformed and the people in our orbit become inspired to live more authentically, enlivened with the vibrant, energetic vitality of their own souls. Individually we may only be a drop in the ocean, but every drop counts, and eventually, together, we become the waves of change.
The trials will not end. There will not be a continually smooth road, though that road may even out some of the time. The mind, however, will become calmer as it turns more inward than out and relies more on the inner secret garden of the soul for sustenance and renewal. The inner sacred space will become richer, more textured and colorful. And the relationship with your soul-Self, your inner secret gardener who guides, tends, and gently prompts, will deepen. She will speak to you more and more through dreams, in subtle impressions, insights, and even in a still, quiet voice. She says, “Your true nature is bliss.” She reminds me that when I do enough work and dig away enough junk I will live in constant awareness of my true nature. She says that I am peace, too. When the waves of pain and suffering pass through me it seems difficult to believe, but this is when faith takes over. I know she speaks truth. And so I continue to make the effort, under her vigilant guidance. She tells me that you are bliss, peace, and love, too, and that we are ultimately one, whole, and inseparable from each other. We are never isolated and alone. Your pain is my pain and mine is yours. But we also share the joy.
When things grow, friction is produced. Nothing grows smoothly and evenly. Beanstalks grow in fits and starts. Bamboo grows in quick bursts. Seeds in a garden push up the hard earth to break into the light. So it is with the growth of the soul as we grow into the light. Sometimes drought strikes. We have to push through the darkness. A storm arrives and all that we’ve worked for seems to be destroyed. But as in nature, the secret garden grows back vibrant and stronger than before. The challenge becomes to maintain the lightness of being, joy, and trust in the Divine even through the trying times. Careful attention to the soul-Self will reveal the ways that sustain us through the challenges and uplift us. She will coax us to grow and not fold in on ourselves and wither in darkness. Realizing the cyclical nature of life brings a certain sense of relief, and with gentle acceptance we can learn to embrace all that it offers with joy.
I cannot say that making a decision to explore your inner sacred garden of the soul will bring constant happiness and pleasure. But pleasure and happiness are different than joy. Mystic and monk Thomas Merton wrote, “And if you do not know the difference between pleasure and joy you have not yet begun to live.” The nature of life, as the Buddha reminds us, is one where illness, death, departures, and separations make up part of the journey. No one will be spared some form of betrayal and loss. But joy becomes a constant when we stay connected with the inner Source. For those who choose to take a spiritual perspective, the substance and essence of life lies deeper than the physical world. It lives forever in the heart of the secret garden of the soul, and the pain of life’s experiences often pushes us below the surface to rediscover the immortal soul-Self. The breath and energy of spirit animates us and we realize we cannot ever die or disappear. In this lies joy.
“The first [step] is pleasure; the second, happiness; the third is joy; and the fourth is bliss,” said Indian mystic and spiritual teacher Osho in The Dhammapada, Volume 8. For Osho, pleasure relates to the body and physical sensations. Happiness goes a little deeper but still depends on external experiences. Joy marks the beginning of a spiritual experience associated with peace, contemplation, and contentment. It relies on a deep inner connection with the Divine and does not depend on anything outside of us, on anyone or any circumstances. Bliss is the ultimate experience. It is total, complete. “Bliss means you have reached to the very innermost core of your being,” Osho said. “You start blooming when you are in tune with the whole.” He continues, “Whenever you are not in tune with the whole … the whole no more nourishes you; then you are no more rooted in the whole. Then you become an uprooted tree, then you are undernourished. Then your green foliage starts disappearing. Then flowers can’t happen to you, because flowers are possible only when you are over-flooded with joy, overflowing with joy.”
According to the Hindu perspective, our true nature is ananda, which means bliss. That bliss is like the sun that always shines. It remains ever present, but the events in life and clouds of worry and even emotions like happiness may obscure it like storm clouds obscure the sun. It always amazes me when taking off from a stormy airport, how once you reach a certain altitude and get through the clouds, the sun shines as brightly as ever. If we learn to choose the experience of joy in our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits, we will move in tune with the universe, dance in a flow of light and love, and remain above the clouds.
While in Egypt, Karim, the perfumer, aspired to create a perfume called Ananda. He said, “Joy. That is what you find in that sacred inner place. When you find it and carry it with you everywhere, then you’ll know you’ve arrived at your destination.” He aimed for his fragrance to reflect the inner joy that emanates naturally from a well-tended secret garden of the soul. It was his life’s work, his aspiration to create and share his joy with others. In my dreams, too, joy becomes a constant presence. I dance in joy, dressed in red, and the sound of coins and bells accompanies me. The days pass quickly, and as I check inside to perceive the latest growth, the pomegranate tree stands firm and full of fruit. Sharing this fruit of the inner work, more than most anything else, brings deep satisfaction and immeasurable joy. As you continue to grow and expand your spirit, I wish for you that your inner secret garden will thrive and also bring you a harvest of pure bliss and the will to share your unique gifts with the world.
Creating the Fragrance of Your Life
Gardens in the South of France, where perfumery became an art, include jasmine, tuberose, lavender, and May roses. Long used in healing arts like aromatherapy, the flowers are cultivated and pressed for their precious essences. Perfumers like Karim in Egypt and Angelo in the South of France use head, heart, and base notes of the essences and essential oils to compose a fragrance. The head note is the first one detected when you smell a perfume. It gives the first impression and evaporates in a few minutes.
The heart note creates the core of the scent and lingers for several hours. It harmonizes with the head and base notes to hold the composition together. The base note is often the strongest and heaviest scent and can last for several days. When all three are blended perfectly, they create a beautiful scent. Sathya Sai Baba said, “Make your life a rose that speaks silently in the language of fragrance.” Karim created Ananda as his signature perfume to represent the fragrance of his life and elicit deep feelings of joy. What will you name the fragrance you’re consciously creating with your life? What will your head, heart, and base notes be? Joy, patience, compassion, love? If you feel inspired, find a beautiful bottle and label it with your perfume’s name or make a collage or drawing of it to keep near you for inspiration.