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It had to be around six in the morning when the wailing sirens jolted me out of my sleep. I threw my arm over to Darren’s side of the bed, frisking an empty warm space where he laid. The desolation pulled me to an upright position, searching for my lover in the dark. Blaring noises grew closer and closer while I scanned the room. I then ran to the window to determine where the police cars were headed. I became shell-shocked, realizing the blue and red lights halted in front of Darren’s townhome.
“Darren!” I screamed, peering out the window.
He didn’t answer. I bobbed my head around to look beyond the trees blocking the front lawn’s view. He would have woken me up if there was an emergency. My lover seemed fine before falling asleep holding me in his arms, so he couldn’t have fallen ill. I listened out for voices downstairs. Still nothing.
I turned my head to call his name again. “Darren! Where are you?”.
Silence again in the house.
Throwing on a t-shirt and socks, I ran into the dark hallway, then downstairs. On the way, I noticed the front door wide open and a figure, similar to my lover, standing in the grass with his hands up.
“Darren!” I screamed once more, tugging the t-shirt over my underwear as I walked outside.
The moisture seeping through the thin cotton struck my feet with each step. As my eyes adjusted to the night, I saw Cheryl standing in front of him with a gun pointed towards his chest.
“Jenn!” Darren yelled with his head to the side. “Get back in the house!”
Cheryl’s hand didn’t flinch. Her stance was strong as if she’d held people at gunpoint on the regular.
“Ma’am! Drop the gun! NOW!” an officer demanded, after exiting the car.
Other officers stepped out of their vehicles and drew their weapons. The scene was out of an action movie and I was scared shitless for the man I loved. I couldn’t fathom watching him gunned down in front of me. But, I refused to leave him out there alone with that jilted woman.
“What the hell are you doing Cheryl?” I asked through my tears. “You’re going to shoot the father of your child?!? In front of his own damn house!?!”
Her face was stone cold. No tears in sight. Just blood in her eyes and a gun in her hand. She wore a long coat with faux fur house shoes on her manicured feet, and a colorful scarf holding her hair in place. The bitch was gorgeous even in a sinister disposition.
“You’re taking everything from me,” she replied in a nonchalant tone. “Everything.”
“Cheryl, stop and think about Dana,” Darren pleaded in a calm voice.
Mentioning their daughter must have triggered something within her. Right after the name “Dana” filled the air, Cheryl went from calm and crazy to CRAZY-CRAZY!
“No Darren. You’re MY husband. MINE!” she screamed like a lunatic.
“Ma’am drop your weapon or we WILL be forced to shoot you!” Another officer shouted, slowly moving towards them.
“Go ahead and shoot me, officer,” Cheryl replied in an eerie voice. “I already have nothing left. Darren, our family was my world. How am I supposed to move on from this?”
“Please don’t shoot her!” Darren yelled out to the officer. “She’s the mother of my child. I can fix this. Just let me talk to her.”
The officer nodded towards him while taking a few steps back with his gun and eyes remaining on Cheryl.
I remember praying for the officer to shoot. Not in a place where it would kill her, maybe a warning shot in the air to snap her back into reality. Darren had been talking to that woman for weeks. He was supposed to be “fixing” things all along. Instead, the situation resulted in Darren begging for his life to be spared.
“Pull the trigger officer,” I shakenly whispered to myself.
“Cheryl,” Darren crept towards her, “Drop the gun. The POLICE are here. You can’t do this. It’ll ruin our daughter. Put the gun down and let’s talk.”
“Oh!” She burst into a sinister laugh. “NOW you want to talk. You didn’t want to talk when you felt yourself falling out of love with me. You didn’t want to talk before taking this tramp to Puerto Rico. Yea, I found out about that shit!”
“I’m so sorry, Cheryl,” he began to cry. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Terry, your assistant, told me all about your lunch dates,” she continued. “She ratted you out the minute I offered her a better job at my firm. She noticed you wandering around to other floors. At first, she thought you were handling business. But you weren’t. You were going to see HER!”
Cheryl then jerked her hand that held the gun in my direction. Soon after, I immediately blacked out. I can’t remember the following words from her, the officers, nor Darren. My hearing left. Everything became fuzzy and silent for a short while.
Coming to, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and I tumbled to the ground. Glad to be able to hear and see again. Then, I looked down and realized, that bitch shot ME!
Darren ran and scooped me in his arms, crying over my limp body. I felt blood trickling out of my mouth as he pleaded to keep my eyes open. I caught a short glimpse of Cheryl dropping to her knees as the officers cuffed and took her away. I was pissed they didn’t shoot her when they had the chance. According to social media videos, officers would hesitate to pull the trigger on an armed black woman. But when I needed to be trigger happy...nothing!
Our love drove that woman crazy. Mrs. McCray snapped because I walked into her husband’s life, dismantling hers. That wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to be wanted. I needed to be wanted. I deserved to be wanted. It wasn’t my fault that she was collateral damage for my heart’s sake. Then again, it was.
“I-I’m sorry. T-tell her that I’m sorry,” I grunted, trying to keep from choking on blood.
“Shhh. It’s okay, baby. Help is on the way,” Darren whispered, holding my wound with his bare hand to stop the bleeding. Other officers stood over me, blocking the street lights. My eyes were open, but I was in darkness. All I wanted to see was his eyes and deep dimples. However, his scent eased my mind.
“I love you, Jenn,” his voice cooed over me.
“I love you too. Mr...Teddy...Bear...Eyes.”
~~~~~~~
That was the last time I saw, felt, and heard Darren’s voice. Actually, that was the last time I saw and heard any human being for that matter. Now, I’m in a total blackout. My body is in limbo and I feel nothing.
During my birthday portion of the story, I started to hear faint voices. I’m not out of the woods just yet, still in the realm of the unknown. I could be in a long line waiting to get into hell. However, I don’t feel heat from the fiery pits. Kind of cold. I better not be in that damn morgue. Marie should’ve picked up my body by now.
Damn, my sister is all alone. She has my nephew but no support system. We were all we had left of our immediate family. I can’t recall the last thing I said to her.
I don’t know how much time has passed. All I do is replay the events that led me here. Interview, life getting back on track, Darren, trying to forget about Darren, getting Darren back, then getting shot by Cheryl.
“Her hand moved!” I hear Marie’s voice say. “I just saw it. Her hand flinched! Get a doctor in here now!”
Shuffling is happening around me. I don’t know what’s going on. Marie’s loud ass voice is clear with her going on about my hands and feet moving. I’m not doing it. At least I think I’m not.
So, I guess I’m not dead. Or Marie’s having one of those ghetto funerals where the body is chilling in the corner of the house. We used to tease each other about that. I didn’t think she’d do it for real.
The lids of my eyes are fluttering. I see flashes between darkness and light. Is it my turn in line for hell? Dammit, I’m not ready to go yet. I need to replay my story one more time, just to feel Darren again. I wish heaven had a number so I could call and explain my side.
The fluttering is leaving and I’m in the light. Not death’s white light, but the light of a ...hospital room?!?!?
I feel coherent. Oh cool, I’m not dead. I’m...in a hospital bed. I see Marie, and some man in a white coat, but no Darren. Where’s Darren? He should be here. By my side.
I feel like I can speak now.
“Where...” My voice is raspy, and it is taking all my limited power to push out a one-syllable word. Misjudged that one.
“Shhh take your time. Relax, Jenn,” Marie says, leaning over me with the doctor smiling by her side.
“Ms. Steele,” he says. “Do you know where you are?”
I nod at a slow pace.
I HAVE to say his name. I need to know where he is.
“Dar-ren.” I did a little better with that one. My voice still sounds like shit, though.
“Don’t say that bastard’s name,” Marie fusses through her tears of joy. “Samantha left yesterday to go back to Boston for work. And Kassandra is at my house with Beaux.”
“What...happened...” I tried to ask, ‘What happened to Darren?’ But my throat feels weak and scratchy.
“You were shot in the lower abdomen, Ms. Steele. We had to remove your appendix. We tried to save it but there was too much damage. But you’ll recover just as well without it. You’ve been in a coma for the past few days,” the doctor explains.
Tears stream down my face at the thought of being shot, losing an organ, and not having Darren by my side. Maybe Cheryl broke free from the police and killed him!
“I need to step out and go pick up my son and her friend,” Marie says to the doctor.
“That’s fine. I’ll stay close and check her out. She’ll be okay until you return,” the doctor replied, flipping papers on the clipboard.
Marie kisses my cheek then rushes out the door. I lay in bed crying while the doctor asks yes and no questions, so that I can nod and not strain my voice. I feel an “ugly cry” on the horizon as the door creeps open.
“Jenn,” A familiar voice says.
My head does a drunken lean to the right, while the eyes I’ve been missing comes through the door. They look worried and happy at the same time.
“Dar-ren!” I try to scream out to him, but it sounds like a kid with laryngitis.
“Hey, don’t overdo it,” he says, easing closer.
“I...missed...you,” I say as his hand touches my face.
“I’ve missed the hell out of you. I thought I’d never see you again.” Darren sniffles, blinking the tears away. “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you.”
“Why...this...happen...to...me?” I ask slowly.
“Cheryl. She just lost it,” he wipes his face but not fast enough as tears roll down his face. “It’s all my fault. I should be laying here. That bullet was meant for me.”
“How’s she doing doc?”
“Jennifer is a tough girl. She’s looking to make a full recovery. With time, of course, and a few adjustments will need to be made due to the extensive surgery. But, she’ll be fine. It’s a miracle she woke up,” the doctor confirms.
“You came back to me baby,” Darren says, leaning close to my face.
He kisses me so sweetly. It gives me the strength to move my limbs.
“Cheryl?” I whispered.
He sighed, adjusting his body sitting on the side of the bed. “She’s in jail. Charged with attempted murder.”
My face crinkles at the thought of his young daughter losing her mother to the system.
“Daughter?”
“Dana is in Memphis with my mother. I couldn’t send her back to school with all of this going on.”
“Why...this...happened?”
“I’ve never seen that side of her before. I feel so responsible.”
I rub his back as he leans down to hold me. “Don’t. But...you need to tell me...what...happened.”
Darren clears his throat, palming my face. His warm hands sooth my confusion, preparing me for the twisted tale that landed me in a hospital bed.
“You were asleep when she kept ringing my phone. I went downstairs to answer so that I wouldn’t disturb you. She started by saying how she regretted signing the divorce papers and suggested counseling. When I refused, she demanded that I come outside. It was either that, or she was going to come in and find you. I couldn’t allow her to threaten you like that, so I went outside, unknowing of her having a gun. A neighbor saw her pull it out on me and called the police. I tried to keep her calm.” He chokes up, then regains composure. “But when you came outside...”
“Shhh,” I hissed. “It’s...okay. It’s over...now.”
“After you’re cleared to come home...you will be with me.” Darren continues, then leans to kiss me. “I’m going to take care of you. I know I’ll have to hear your sister chew me out, but it’ll be worth it. She didn’t let me visit you, Jenn. But I stayed outside in that hallway, every day demanding answers. A nurse came by and told me you woke up. As soon as I saw Marie leave, I snuck in here. I had to see those eyes and kiss you again. But just know, I never left you.”
I cried out nodding. “What...’bout... work?”
“I took some time off,” he shrugs with a smile. “They’ll be okay without me for a few weeks.”
I have no words. I’m still confused and angry about what Mrs. McCray did to me. But can I blame her?
“I love you, Jenn,” Darren says, rising to stand over me. “And I’m I’ll be here. If you’ll have me.”
I nod with a soft smile. Happy that the man of my dreams is by my side.
“It’s me and you baby,” he says, then jumps at the door bursting open.
It’s Marie, Beaux, and Kassandra.
“I told you to leave!” Marie fusses, pushing Darren in the shoulder.
“Marie, stop!” I try to scream. “He’s here...and he’s not going anywhere.”
My sister is taken aback by my firm statement. Moving Darren aside, she towers over me and whispers, “You were right. You have your man now. But look at what you’ve gone through. Look at what you’re going to have to overcome. Was it worth it?”
The question stills me, putting things into perspective. I have no answers. It was that damn force drawing me into Darren C. McCray. We have love. But still, I can’t answer that question. I just woke up from a coma. A coma that the wife of my lover put me in. All because I was too selfish to walk away from a man that sent a strong urge to live out my fantasies of being with him.
I think about that damn interview day. The day he saw me first and changed his life. Pursuing him like he was available. Enjoying the newness of loving a man like him. It was all real. It’s still real, but can I get past this? Do I want to go through watching a woman’s life crumble while going to prison? The diminishing of Darren’s daughter due to the trauma this caused will continue for years to come. I know she’ll hate me forever. Will his love be enough to ease that? Did I need to be with him THIS bad?
I truly love Darren, but is it worth going through this?!?! I can’t say.