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I blacked out not having you around.
I feel ashamed that I have to be
the target of everyone’s toxic mess.
Don’t they know that I’m just a girl?
And I’ve got nothing to lose
if I’m just getting started with my life.
I cried the last time I saw you.
No song could describe how I feel
but can she write to you in poetry?
And if I go blonde, will you love me
just the same like you did
when we met in Scotland?
You knew you fucked up
when I told you I didn’t care.
But I just wanted you
if my mother weren’t around.
You could’ve told me you love me
and I’d say, “You’re crazy.”
But it would be a crime,
if people saw you kiss me.
So, you better keep it quiet
when we get a little frisky.
And I’ll turn twenty-six,
it’ll be my golden day.
I’ll blow out the candles
and we could get drunk
with cider and beer
because it would be
deja vu if I’m just
another singer
writing songs about
a love that people dream about.
I’ve got dreams too.
To be a woman,
loved my millions and no one.
I’m a little selfish.
I get so jealous.
Could you blame me?
I just wanted to be with you
but 2020 makes us believe
in nothing and everything.
I know I can’t be in Rome
because that’s where you took her
while I was in Spain running around
without a doubt of wanting you.
I blacked out not having you around.
It was sweet hearing you say
that I might be the one for you.
It’s all I wanted to hear
someone say to me.
I knew you fucked up
when I walked away
from the sweet conversation
you had with my mother.
But I feel jaded, when things
aren’t going my way.
Does she know the way
you speak sounds like a song
from a long time ago?
Because I do, I do, I do.
And if I go blonde,
would you think
that I’m just being rebellious
like how they think of me?
Do they know that the words
they’ll speak won’t be taken lightly?
I don’t want to blackout when it comes
to what we’ve got going on.
Can we just laugh about the things
we’ve been through?
Because the past is in the past,
when it comes to those who we used
to love and crave at night.
You know the words I’ll write
and you know it’s about love.
That’s how I feel about you.
That’s what I’ll say to your face
when I see you again.