32 

Her cry of fear signaled the nightmare’s release. She awoke gasping for air.

Kenneth was instantly awake and reaching for her. “It’s all right, honey.”

“Oh, Kenneth, it . . . it was the dream again.”

“I know, I know, but that is all it was.” He sat up so he could cradle her with one arm. “Only a dream.”

For an instant, she was gripped by a powerful temptation to give in to the dark fears and the old feelings. But it was merely the last tendrils of the nightmare. She willed herself to relax into his embrace, letting him be strong for her, taking his confidence and his love and his peace and making it her own. “I was so afraid,” she murmured into his chest.

“I know, honey.” Not masking it, nor making light of it. Just being there, helping her through the dark moments, sharing both the joy and the heartache. “Would you like to pray?”

“You say the words.” She closed her eyes and listened as he asked for the Lord’s peace and confidence to fill them. But in truth she was feeling more than hearing, letting the last whispers of nighttime dreads be swept away.

She opened her eyes to find Kenneth watching her. She confessed, “I was dreaming about little Charles.”

Kenneth did not speak. She knew he understood.

“But the pain was . . . was a clean pain. That probably doesn’t make any sense, but that’s how it felt.”

“It does make sense,” Kenneth said quietly.

“I know the doctor says everything seems fine.” Fear turned her so weak she had to draw away from him in order to continue. “But sometimes it just, I don’t know . . .”

“All the past rises up and leaves you afraid.”

She looked at him in desperate appeal. “Do you really believe this baby will be all right? Do you?”

“I hope so. I pray so. That is all we can do.” He stroked her hair. “We pray that whatever happens, we will find our way through together. With God’s help.”

“With God’s help,” she agreed tremulously. “Oh, Kenneth, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She felt a pang as she remembered all that had happened in the past year. “I’m so sorry—”

He stopped her with a single finger to her lips and a smile that warmed her and filled her heart. “Yes, I know.”

She sighed her way back onto her pillow, loving him. Yes, whatever happened. With God’s help.

She sat down by the small suitcase in the front hallway. She started to call to Kenneth but decided there was no need to rush him. Let him finish dressing and come down at his own pace. The morning would be fraught with enough hurry and tension for both of them without calling out now. Besides, she wanted to have a moment here by herself.

The tall hall mirror was directly across from where she sat in the high-backed chair. Kyle gave her reflection a frank inspection. There was fear in her eyes, certainly. And anticipation. But there was also peace. It gave her great assurance to see that in her eyes, to recognize it with an honesty that she knew came from beyond herself. She knew she was not alone. No matter what came, no matter what happened, she would face it with her Lord. And her husband. And her family.

And Goldie. The small dog padded down the hall and sat, as she usually did, so she could lean against Kyle’s right leg. She was growing into a beautiful spaniel. And she was such a good friend. Kyle dropped her hand to the bright head and asked Goldie about the morning’s weather. Goldie tipped her head and listened solemnly, only her tail twitching with her enthusiasm for life.

She seemed to catch Kyle’s mood and laid her head on Kyle’s knee. The chocolate eyes watched her calmly, as the clock on the living room mantel clicked steadily onward. Kyle rested her other hand on her abdomen and listened to the ticking sound and the sense of the future unfolding around her. She did not know what was coming. But knowing that she entered into it with God’s love in and around her gave her the strength to be calm. Even here. Even now.

Kyle bowed her head. Her words were few. She sensed with a crystal clarity that the Lord already knew.

The sound of Kenneth descending the stairs lifted her head. He was still knotting his tie, but the instant he caught sight of her face, he stopped midstep.

She gave him a little smile and said, “It’s time.”