CHAPTER 26

LATE IN THE EVENING MATTHEW TOOK OFF FOR A MORNING MEETING IN CHICAGO, AND CAROL TOSSED AND TURNED IN THEIR BIG BED ALL NIGHT. She was used to being left alone in the evenings, but tonight she felt so sad about her mother’s condition that she couldn’t calm down. She’d debated calling Annie a dozen times to yell at her for scaring her with more upsetting warnings. She’d even considered going out to Staten Island to check on her mother. Many unanswered questions bothered her. How could her father lie to her about a thing like cancer? She couldn’t find a satisfactory explanation, and her mother hadn’t told her anything. Some people were like lockboxes and never talked. Mamie Teath never said anything about herself. Carol didn’t even know where she’d come from. Staten Island somewhere, for sure. But what house, what street, who had been their friends, where had they worshiped? She knew about the chauffeur-driven car, but she didn’t know any of the important things.

She’d tried to imagine what Staten Island had been like in the 1930s when her mother was a young woman. Much of it had been marshes and dunes, but there was criminal lore, too. Even now it was home to cops and the Mafia alike. Yesterday her father had told her that her grandfather had been a pirate. This was the first she’d heard of it. The stickpin with the diamond in it struck her as an improbable family treasure, but what did she know? All she knew was that her mother was frozen in some other dimension. And unlike Staten Island where she lived, there wasn’t any ferry to reach it. Carol didn’t know the story or the secrets her mother didn’t want revealed. It hadn’t been surprising to her that her mother hadn’t talked about any illness over the past year. Not talking was her MO. Carol couldn’t blame herself for what happened. She’d had no reason to think anything was unusual until the certificates had turned up.

The stock certificates at Hall Stale were a complete surprise, like the blood she’d found in her underpants in sixth grade. The first event occurred before her twelfth birthday. Tiny budding breasts and a fuzz of pubic hair had been the only signs of impending womanhood. The blood in her white cotton underpants had terrified her. She’d been certain that she had a fatal illness, and she was afraid to go home and have to tell her mother. Her mother didn’t like to leave the house, and didn’t like going to the doctor. Problems were upsetting to her, so Carol had hung around in the girls’ room for hours after school until a teacher found her hiding there and set her straight. Her mother hadn’t told her it was coming. She hadn’t told her about the food disappearing. She hadn’t set her straight about anything.

Carol also brooded about her husband. Wasn’t there something wrong with a man who didn’t have time to talk to his wife, who never came home? It took her a long time to fall asleep. She dozed for a while in the early-morning hours, but she was already wide awake when her father called her at five.

“Mother’s gone,” he said without introduction. His voice was so low that Carol wasn’t sure at first what he’d said. For a moment she actually thought her mother had run away.

“Where?” she asked.

“With the angels. Honey, it’s over. You’ve got to bring me my bonds back now.”

“Wait a minute. My mother is dead?” Carol was still processing angels.

“That’s what I’m telling you,” he said sadly. “She’s gone.”

“She’s dead?” That just didn’t make any sense. Her mother had been alive and frail yesterday, but not ready for any angels. And Carol certainly couldn’t picture her mother in heaven. For one thing, she wouldn’t fit in with the angels. What was he talking about now? Religion, like happiness, had not been a concept her mother had understood. Mamie Teath hadn’t believed in God or heaven. Carol thought he was mixed up again. Maybe lying to get her attention. He certainly couldn’t be telling the truth. That would be a first. He coughed, and it almost sounded like weeping, but she couldn’t tell for sure.

“Honey, I’m all alone now. I need my stash. Mother said I could have it in case of need. I’m a poor man; I’m in need.”

Then she got it. Her father wasn’t talking about her mother being with the angels. He was talking about his mother. His mother had died a long time ago. She was a totally different lady. Carol breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s okay, Dad. You’ll be fine,” she told him.