One Hundred Days of Darkness and Light
Biguan in the Dark Chamber
The following summer I returned to Jiuyi Temple expecting to enjoy another idyllic vacation. However, three days after my arrival my master informed me, “Tomorrow you’ll start Biguan practice. This empowerment practice consists of a one-hundred-day fast in a dark stone chamber. Biguan is extremely demanding, but the spiritual transformation it brings about is unparalleled.”
The announcement thrilled me. All day long my energy level was unusually high, and it took me a long time to fall asleep that night. The next day began like all the others. Xiao Yao and I practiced by the Rainbow Tree. After lunch I went to the temple to meditate beside the Golden Buddha, but I couldn’t concentrate because worrisome thoughts began to surface. One hundred days without food? One hundred days in the dark? Am I ready for this challenge? As I continued to think about Biguan, my excitement increased—but so did my anxiety.
A monk tapped me on the shoulder. “Shifu is waiting for you in his room.”
I walked across the courtyard, knocked on my master’s door, and entered.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I nodded.
Xiao Yao stood up and grabbed the kerosene lamp sitting on his desk along with some matches and a stick of incense. “Then let’s go.”
I followed Xiao Yao to an inconspicuous door hidden all the way in the back of the temple that I hadn’t noticed before. Xiao Yao lit the kerosene lamp. He opened the door, and I followed him into a narrow corridor slightly wider than the width of our shoulders and slightly taller than the tops of our heads. The lamplight cast a warm glow on the cold stones. The walkway spiraled downward, and I trailed behind him deep into the underground. The sound of our shoes sliding against the uneven stone floor broke the heavy silence. Eventually the floor flattened and we reached another door. My master pushed on the handle. It creaked open and we passed through. I shut it behind us.
We were standing in a small rectangular foyer.
Xiao Yao pointed to a wooden bucket resting on the floor.
“This is your toilet,” he said. Beyond the foyer there was another door. He opened it and I followed him in. “And this is your room.”
Xiao Yao’s lamp illuminated the space. My new “home” was a stone chamber built directly under the Golden Buddha and Guan Yin. It was about fifteen feet wide and twenty-five feet long. Large granite slabs covered the walls, ceiling, and floor. I stepped inside. To my left was a two-foot-tall ceramic water jug partially covered by a wooden lid. A ladle made from half a dried squash rested on top of the lid. Farther down, a narrow, three-foot-long wooden table leaned against the wall. A flat-bottomed porcelain pan sat on top of it. The pan was white with a blue geometric design, and it was filled to the top with grains of rice.
Directly across from the table was a small cot with a mattress made out of dried straw and covered by a thin sheet of cotton. A gray woolen blanket lay folded on the bed. On the floor beside the bed was a round yellow meditation cushion.
“Your eight years of practice have prepared you for this day.” Xiao Yao’s soft voice filled the chamber as his shadow covered one of the walls. “I am confident that you will complete Biguan successfully and discover paradise.”
My master used the kerosene lamp to light a stick of incense that he planted in the rice in the porcelain pan.
“I will visit you daily and each time I will light one stick of incense,” he explained.
Swirls of fragrant smoke curled toward the ceiling, and the pleasant smell of sandalwood spread throughout the chamber. “Between my visits you will meditate and practice the exercises I have taught you. Do you have any questions?”
“No, Shifu,” I responded.
“For the first twenty days of Biguan practice you will get three mountain dates each day. Savor them slowly and chew with wholehearted mindfulness.” Xiao Yao reached into the folds of his robe, retrieved the fruits, and handed them to me. “Chew slowly, slowly, slowly,” he repeated.
“Yes, Shifu.”
“You may drink as much water as you like. Are you ready to begin?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He left the room and the stone chamber plunged into near darkness. The tip of the incense stick was still burning and it cast a dusky orange glow. I watched it grow shorter. Soon the amber tip dimmed and faded away. The room turned completely black. I made my way to the cot and sat calmly in the dark until a sobering thought finally shook me. This is really happening!
I stood up and walked over to the wall, bumping into the table along the way. I used my hands to guide myself along the wall back to the door. I went outside and felt my way to the second door, beyond which lay the spiral staircase that led to the outside world. I put my ear to the door, but I couldn’t hear anything.
To regain my sense of normalcy I used the toilet. Then I returned to my room and explored it again, tracing my way by feeling the walls with my hands. I lay down on the mattress for a few minutes. It was comfortable. Then I got up and walked around the room for a third time.
I returned to the bed and remembered the dates. I popped one into my mouth and wolfed it down. Mmm, that was good. I played with the pit for a little while, placed it on the tabletop, and I reached for another, but stopped myself before biting down on it.
“Chew slowly, slowly, slowly.” I remembered Xiao Yao’s words and decided to save it for later. I got up and had a drink of water. It tasted sweet and fresh. The air was also fresh. There must be a ventilation shaft somewhere. I tried to find it but couldn’t, and after a while I gave up.
I took a nap. When I woke up, I was disoriented. How long have I been here? An hour? Two? Maybe more? Is it dark outside? I had no way of knowing. I was already losing my sense of time. But since I wasn’t tired, I got out of bed and began to practice Qigong.
As promised, Xiao Yao returned to visit me the next day. I heard the outer door open and close. Then the door to my room opened and closed. He entered, this time with no lamp, holding only a lit stick of incense.
“Is everything all right?” he asked.
“Yes, Shifu,” I replied.
“Is there anything you would like to ask me?”
“No, Shifu.”
He probed my head with his fingers to check my energy level, and then he empowered me with his Qi by pressing on my Midbrow Point. The buzzing energy flowed into me like an electric current. Then he empowered a few of my other energy points. By the time he was done working on me, the incense stick was almost completely burned out.
Xiao Yao pulled out three dates from under the folds of his robe and handed them to me.
“Keep on practicing,” he instructed.
“Yes, Shifu.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he added, and walked to the door.
“Good-bye, Shifu.”
The door shut behind him, and after the incense stick was extinguished, I was plunged into pure darkness again.
We repeated the same routine every day, but each time Xiao Yao visited he empowered different energy points in me. Once he placed his hands on my shoulder blades for a long time. Another time he empowered two energy points on the soles of my feet. On a different occasion, Xiao Yao pressed hard on two very sensitive points along the upper ridge of my eye sockets for a long time with his thumbs. I almost cried from the intense pain. But when he released the pressure the inside of my head brightened like the daytime sky.
I suffered occasional pangs of loneliness during the first week, especially right after Xiao Yao left. But those feelings quickly subsided, and after a while I didn’t feel them at all. Surprisingly I didn’t feel hungry after the third day, not even once. I discovered that fasting alone in the dark without any tantalizing distractions was quite easy. My master’s Qi, the dates, and my Qigong practice nourished me sufficiently.
As the first week melted into the second, my sensory awareness began to unravel. I became a point of consciousness floating through the darkness, materializing a body whenever I needed to move, materializing a psyche whenever I experienced a feeling, and materializing a mind whenever I produced a thought.
On one occasion I was lying in bed holding one of my precious dates. It smells so savory … I probed the fruit with my fingers. It feels so smooth … I sunk my teeth into the flesh and slowly sliced off a small chunk. It tastes delicious … My mouth became a pool of sweet saliva. I swallowed and took another bite. When I finished eating the fruit, I played with the date pit in my mouth, chasing it around with my tongue like a cat romping around with a ball of yarn.
Then I rested with the date pit still in my mouth, and suddenly I had a vision. I saw the date I had just eaten bunched with other dates on the branch that spawned it. My sense of time began to flow backward and I envisioned the sunlight, rainwater, and minerals that created the fruit returning to the sky and the ground as the date shrank away and dissolved.
Then I saw the tree that produced the date begin to shrink until it became the pit of the date that originated it. The backward flow of time sped up, and I saw countless date pits becoming date trees that, in turn, became date pits until I saw the primordial date—the first date that ever existed—disintegrate and return its elemental energy into the void. Then there was absolutely nothing.
In a flash I realized that what had happened to the date in the vision also applied to every other living thing that ever existed, including me. Ultimately, every living being is a thread stitching through a different part of the tapestry of the universe, but originating from the same mysterious, fathomless source. I instantly understood with lucid clarity that I shared the most fundamental aspect of my being with everything else alive: all life is one.
After this realization, my experience of the dark chamber changed in a very surreal way. The room became a three-dimensional stage on which vivid visions manifested constantly, one after another. Multicolored, otherworldly, swirling skies displaced the solid, dark ceiling. The stone walls crumbled and I found myself in a lush evergreen forest carpeted with ferns and wildflowers. Then that scene would vanish and another one would appear. Next I’d be in a stunning golden meadow by a gurgling stream, gazing up at geometric patterns parading across the sky like neon-colored falling stars. These visions filled me with gleeful joy, and soon I completely forgot about the world above ground, the one dressed up in duller colors and coarser textures.
At about the same time these visions began, Xiao Yao announced, “Jihui, twenty days have passed. You have completed the first stage of the practice. From this point onward you won’t be eating any more dates, but you may continue to drink as much water as you want.”
A few days later he informed me, “Today I am going to empower your Central Meridian.”
I sat down on the yellow meditation cushion, and Xiao Yao stood behind me. The incense stick cast its orange glow over both of us. As my master touched the top of my head, I closed my eyes. Almost instantly I felt a very powerful current of energy shoot into the core of my brain and continue right through the central axis of my body, all the way down to the base of my pelvis. I shook as though the ground under me were quaking.
“Focus on your Lower Dantian,” Xiao Yao instructed.
The force intensified, and the current of energy expanded like a powerful, gushing waterfall of light roaring right through me.
“Breathe deeply,” he said.
Xiao Yao placed a finger on the midpoint between my eyebrows and put his other palm on my back directly behind my navel. He shot another bolt of Qi into my spine. That current flowed upward to my neck and then a warm, tingling feeling spread throughout my face. My nose, lips, tongue, ears, and eyes were electrified. Dazzling light filled my head, radiated back down toward my spine, and then cascaded down each vertebra to my kidneys, which became two luminous little suns.
Xiao Yao empowered me again. This time his energy flowed in deeper. It penetrated my bone marrow and filled every bone in my body with extraordinary bliss. As I inhaled, a groundswell of indescribable love washed over me. As I exhaled, I was swept far, far away by euphoric ecstasy.
“Keep meditating,” Xiao Yao whispered.
That was all I could do. That was all I wanted to do. My entire being was consumed by the experience, which was drawing me further in. A fireball shot up from the base of my spine to the top of my head and beyond. Brilliant light flooded my whole being. The luminosity was blinding. It was as though the sun had risen inside the dark chamber.
A blue light began to vibrate at the top of my head. It settled into my Upper Dantian, the area at the center of my head. The light expanded and spread indescribable joy as I “sipped” a little oxygen. Breathing became intoxicating and the pace of my breath slowed down to a trickle.
The blue light flowed down into my Middle Dantian, the area at the center of my chest. My heart opened up like a delicate, million-petaled flower. I would have screamed, but I was hardly breathing. My only escape from the overwhelming bliss was to slow down my breathing even more. But even so, the wave of ecstasy continued to carry me further and further in, and I completely melted into the sea of light.
The next time I saw Xiao Yao, he said, “Jihui, two days have passed since the empowerment. You have been sitting motionless and in deep meditation that whole time.”
The experience had felt timeless, and it took a while for my sense of self to return. When it did, I observed that I had undergone yet another transformation. My psychic sensitivity had greatly expanded, and I could “feel” the presence of all the Qigong masters who had meditated in the dark chamber before me. I could perceive their thoughts and feelings imprinted in the stones. The walls began to speak to me. They imparted the collective wisdom of the masters. I listened and learned from them. They looked over me as I practiced. They became my teachers.
At this stage I left my body and journeyed beyond the dark chamber virtually every time I sat down to meditate. I soared high above the monastery like an eagle, and from there I flew wherever the whimsical winds carried me.
Once they led me down the Xiang River, and I visited my hometown. I flew over Yi Suo and the boiler room, my apartment building, my high school, and the stadium where I ran hurdle races.
Another time I hovered high above a different town. Although I had never seen it before, it was vaguely familiar, and I flew down to take a closer look. I landed near a stone bridge covered by a wooden roof near a small river. Women in wide-brimmed bamboo hats scrubbed clothes and linen by hand against flat stones. The wheat in the nearby fields was turning yellow. It was autumn. I entered the town through the main gate.
The streets were narrow, and the buildings were constructed in a style that was popular a thousand years ago. I walked along a bustling street lined with stalls. Merchants peddled cackling chickens and colorful fruit. I stopped by a little noodle shop and peeked in. It smelled good. A few men with white turbans on their heads sat on low stools. They slurped noodles and chatted in a strange dialect, but I could understand them perfectly.
Then I heard some commotion and I turned around. A palanquin shouldered by four strong, wiry men headed down the street. They carried a young, dignified nobleman. Pedestrians moved to the side of the road and bowed their heads. I looked closely at his face. Though we looked utterly unalike, I instinctively knew that he was me.
The townspeople, the streets, the bridge, and the river all suddenly vanished and I was back in the dark chamber seated on my cushion. I stretched my limbs, walked to the water jug, dipped the ladle into the jug, and drank. I returned to the cushion and settled down again. The dark chamber vanished, and I was soon flying high above the monastery again, departing on another adventure.
At this stage of my Biguan practice, I spent at least half my waking hours exploring mystical realms. I encountered strange, nonhuman dimensions and met all kinds of intelligent beings. The rest of my waking hours were spent in deep, blissful meditation nourishing my Qi. Sometimes a whole day slipped by in one sitting that felt like only a few minutes. Xiao Yao’s visits passed in quick succession.
More than fifty days had passed when my master said, “You are ready to take the next step. I am going to teach you an advanced meditation called Bu Jing Guan Gong. This is a dangerous practice that shouldn’t be performed until all your energy channels are fully open and your Qi is highly refined. You have reached that stage. From now on when you meditate, gather into yourself all the filth, evils, negativity, and hideous darkness in the world. Become a container for everything that is ugly, revolting, and loathsome.
“Draw into your soul all the woes suffered in the hearts of all suffering beings. Become a magnet for grief, depression, anguish, sorrow, and all the darkest shadows hiding within. Invite rage, terror, panic, lust, and cruelty into your meditation. Fill your soul with the vilest blackness. Keep on inviting all this malevolence relentlessly. There are no limits to the vices you should invoke. And whatever arises, continue. The practice won’t be complete until you move through all the fear you encounter. You must overcome whatever challenges darkness throws your way. Transform your heart into a sword of purity and slay any fear you experience. And whatever you do, don’t retreat.”
This meditation was unlike any other my master had ever taught me, and as soon as I began to practice it, I sensed an ominous shift. The blissful light I had experienced when I meditated previously began to fade. At first I experienced a gray, murky energy forming around me like a gloomy cloud. Then the cloud darkened. The light and bliss vanished and instead dreary, troubling emotions surfaced. I tried to insulate myself from the growing negativity, but it overwhelmed me, and soon the chamber became completely black again.
On one occasion in that state, I sensed another presence in the room. I opened my eyes, and what I saw startled me. No more than three feet away, right in front of me, was a skeleton. I didn’t know what to do, so we simply stared at each other. The skeleton was completely still. I moved slightly and it also moved slightly. Its bones were translucent. I could see straight through them to the bone marrow inside. As I inhaled, I noticed a pair of lungs appear under its expanding ribcage. When I exhaled, the spongy sacks deflated. After taking another breath, I realized that the lungs were mirroring my exact breathing pattern.
Those are my lungs!
The skeleton I was observing was my own. I was no longer afraid. My inner sight had been awakened. I looked at “my” head. The cranium became translucent. I examined the folds of my brain. Then I looked through my eye sockets to the back of my skull. I scanned my heart. It was beating fast. I was excited. My stomach was empty. I saw the scar on my lower back from the knife cut I received when I fought Zhang Gong and his gang. I spent the next few days exploring the most fascinating world I had encountered so far—my own body.
A few days after experimenting with my newfound psychic ability, I returned to the practice of Bu Jing Guan Gong. Over a period of several days I continuously invoked the ills of the world with renewed enthusiasm, and the thick, gloomy darkness returned quickly. The walls became silent, and the heaviness around me grew increasingly oppressive.
Suddenly a chill invaded the room. I ignored the cold at first, but the sensation gradually became intolerable. The iciness penetrated through all the layers of my body. The frosty sting penetrated my skin and chilled my blood. My teeth chattered. The chill sank into my internal organs. I am going to freeze to death, I thought. Then I recalled my master’s words, “Don’t retreat!” I tried to keep my resolve, but I panicked and opened my eyes. Within seconds the cold sensation stopped.
I began practicing again. And this time I made a vow: I’d rather die than open my eyes. The cold sensation returned quickly and assaulted me mercilessly. I felt as though my whole body was submerged under freezing, arctic water. I shook uncontrollably. I’m going to die … I nearly panicked again. Then let me die …
I withstood the relentless pain for an indefinite time. My resolve was steadfast and unwavering. The torture became worse. There was nothing for me to do but press on. After surviving the most bitter moment of hellish anguish, I felt a tingle of warmth. A pulsation of glorious heat began to build between my kidneys and radiate out.
Next a fireball surged from the base of my spine. It shot up from my tailbone along my spine into my brain and then all the way up to the top of my head. That energy spread warmth and pleasure wherever it went. Mmmm … Another fireball shot up. My internal organs began to defrost. Every warm cell in my body began to vibrate blissfully. The ecstasy continued to build to an inconceivable level of rapture. I remained in that state for a long, long time.
After my energy settled, I began to practice Bu Jing Guan Gong once again. The ominous darkness returned as I focused harder than ever, eager to gather more negativity. Soon another uncomfortable sensation manifested: itchiness. I felt as though an army of ants had invaded the dark chamber with marching orders to parade all over my skin. I touched my face and scalp for an instant just to make sure there were no insects. There weren’t.
I allowed the itchiness to spread into my mouth, down my throat, and into my internal organs. The itchiness crawled into my nose and up my sinuses into my brain. Every part of my body was extremely itchy. The prickly sensation was maddening, but I didn’t scratch myself. The experience was even more intolerable than the cold, but I controlled myself and plowed through the agony.
Soon the sensation subsided and the same fireball surged up from the base of my spine into my brain. I was hurled into an ecstatic state, but this time my body felt more deeply purified and the energy washing through me was even more refined.
This same pattern repeated itself several times, only on each occasion I suffered a different kind of energetic “torture” before experiencing blue light and bliss. The next affliction was heat. I thought I was going to burn alive. After that I couldn’t breathe and became convinced that I would suffocate to death. I braved both challenges and was rewarded on each occasion with more blue light and even more exquisite, long-lasting bliss.
Soon it became harder for me to dredge up any negativity. After a while there was no darkness left for me to invoke. I continued to practice Bu Jing Guan Gong, but since there was no more darkness to be found, I remained steadily anchored in the blissful light. I waited patiently for the next wave of torment to arrive, but it never came. Instead an utterly ineffable event took place.
Perfect Peace
I was meditating cross-legged on the yellow cushion. Suddenly I had the sensation that I was in an ascending elevator, and I rose higher and higher and higher … There was no top floor, and the higher I soared, the brighter it became. I felt like a tiny flame hurtling toward the sun. The brilliance spread through me and intensified. I merged completely with this boundless ocean of blazing light until I was extinguished.
My mind ceased to function. Nothing stirred my consciousness. There were no thoughts, no feelings, no movements, no shapes, no sounds, no textures, no desires, no fear, no divisions, and no edges. There was absolutely nothing, nothing, nothing. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do. All activity ceased, yet this formless radiance brimmed with its own fullness and completeness.
As I became this vast, spacious openness, an indescribable stillness set in. It was a restfulness that transcended all the bliss and ecstasy I had experienced in all my meditations combined. And from this self-radiant serenity emerged one exalted quality: perfect peace.
“Jihui …” An incoherent sound rippled through the tranquility …
“Jihui …” The voice reverberated through the unwavering silence …
“Jihui.” The sound coalesced meaning. My master was reeling me back in.
I opened my eyes and suddenly the stone chamber materialized in the midst of the brilliant luminosity. The physical darkness and the spiritual light coincided.
“E mi tuo fo—Buddha bless you,” Xiao Yao said.
I was lying on the mattress; my master was seated on the floor beside me. A long time passed before I spoke.
“Shifu …” I uttered softly.
“I’ve been here at your side for the last eight days.”
“Eight days?”
“I found you slumped over on the floor. I called out your name. You did not respond. I checked your breathing. You had no discernible breath. I checked your pulse. You had no discernible pulse. I picked you up and put you down on the mattress.”
“No breath? No pulse?”
“This experience is called xiao si er da huo—Small Death, Big Life.”
“Was I dead?”
“Yes and no. It was a controlled death. I remained at your side to make sure you did not cross over for good.”
“The light is so beautiful …”
“In Buddhism we call it Kong, the void. The Daoists call it Wuji, uncreated infinity. This realm is ever-present, but it is only revealed when a soul is purified and all mental activity ceases. It is the condition the Buddha realized while meditating under the Bodhi Tree. It is nirvana.”
“… so peaceful.”
“It is your true nature. Perfection is who you really are.”
“Somehow I feel completely different than I did before.”
“Much karma has been lifted.”
“Shifu, you sound tired.”
“During the Small Death your Qi flow can become stagnant. The presence of an experienced master is critical. I watched over you day and night to make sure that your meridians remained strong. But don’t worry,” he reassured me, “I can recover my Qi quickly.”
We sat silently in the darkness. The room radiated an aura of pure love and compassion. After he left, I remained on the mattress. Even though the room was physically dark, I could still perceive the brilliant inner light shining throughout. It didn’t matter whether my eyes were open or closed. The dark chamber was bathed in clear white light. I couldn’t see the actual contours of the chamber with my physical eyes, but I could sense the walls and even the position of the furniture.
The stone room felt like a dreamy apparition floating in brilliant emptiness. The peaceful spaciousness was still present, only now it permeated the walls, my body, and even my thoughts. The finite world of form was arising in formless infinity, and despite being holed up in a small, dingy space, I experienced complete freedom.
I was thirsty. I stood up. My body felt incredibly energized. My Lower Dantian was as warm as a stove and bursting with Qi. I was supercharged with energy. I felt like jumping around, and I leaped across the room to the water jug. I took a sip. The experience triggered an explosion of sensual delight. Immeasurable force moved through my limbs, and I spontaneously began to roll around on the floor. I leaped to my feet and ran around the room, bouncing off the far wall as I slapped the ceiling with my palm. I darted back and forth like a rubber ball. I kicked my legs up in the air and walked around the room doing a two-finger handstand. I was light as a feather and possessed the strength of a tiger. These spontaneous, explosive body movements continued for hours.
“Shifu,” I remarked the next day, “I’m feeling a new, strange sensation.”
“What are you feeling?” he asked.
“Energy buzzing from my fingers. The Qi is very potent. If I put my hands in prayer position, I feel a cloud of energy forming above my head, and then energy shoots up from my fingertips into the cloud like bolts of lightning.”
“The Small Death has awakened your inner power, Jihui. You have developed the ability to discharge the same electric Qi I used to empower you. You must be very careful with this energy. It is very powerful and precious. You must not abuse it, especially now. You are still young. It takes time to master this power. I will train you. Experiment on yourself, but promise me that you won’t use it on anyone for the next ten years.”
“I promise.”
After three more visits Xiao Yao announced, “Eighty days have passed. You have completed the second phase of Biguan. You must prepare for the journey back into the physical world. The final phase begins tomorrow.”
The next day my master brought me a bowl of thin rice milk sweetened with honey. I touched the liquid with my tongue. It unleashed a tidal wave of sensual pleasure. I spent hours relishing just a few drops. When I took another sip, I cried with happiness. It took me the entire day to drink the full bowl.
Each time Xiao Yao visited, he brought me another bowl. The rice milk became thicker until it had the consistency of porridge. Then one day he brought me a peach. It made me delirious. The following week he brought me cucumbers, then fried lettuce hearts, bok choy, and finally leafy greens sautéed in ginger.
Every time he came, Xiao Yao also brought an additional incense stick to get my eyes accustomed to the light. I liked staring at the glowing embers. He also began spending more time with me in the dark chamber. Occasionally he did energy work on me, but mostly we just talked about trivial matters. We were both very happy.
On each of the last three days of Biguan, he brought me a steamed sweet potato, which I relished. The last day Xiao Yao brought a kerosene lamp. He placed it on the tabletop and gave me a peach.
“This is your last day in the dark chamber. Eat the peach and meditate. I’ll be back for you in a few hours.”
My master returned holding another lamp.
“Gong de yaun man—the task is fulfilled,” he said, handing me the lamp, and then added, “This time we leave together.”
I took one last look at the dark chamber and closed the door behind me. I followed my master upstairs. As he opened the door, the first sounds I heard were the monks chanting in the temple. They were reciting the Great Compassion Mantra. The night sky was clear and the stars glistened. We sat at the feet of the Golden Buddha and joined them in prayer. After we were finished, I followed my master back to his room and lay down on the bed. Within minutes I was sound asleep.
When I awoke, the sun was already up and the room was awash with light. The small window softened the impact of the dazzling brightness, which was nonetheless an awesome sight. It looked as though someone had repainted the world during my stay underground. Even the drab colors inside the room were exceedingly vibrant.
Xiao Yao’s bed was already empty, and I was overcome with the urge to go for a walk. The fresh air was drenched with the musky scents of summer. My nose reveled in the medley of smells. The sight of a small flower brought dizzying delight. Its delicate fragrance melted my heart. As I ventured farther, I couldn’t help touching every tree trunk I passed.
I bent down, scooped up a handful of soil, and scrunched it in my fingers. I saw worker ants scurrying on the ground. I blessed them. The breeze caressed my body, and I stood back up and admired the sky. The outer world was exceedingly beautiful. Overwhelmed by the glory of nature, I screamed out in ecstasy. The sky screamed back. When I heard the echo, I swelled with deep love for the world and my heart shattered into countless shards of adoring gratitude. Then a surge of energy shot through me, and I ran up and down steep mountain trails and along the gurgling creeks until lunchtime.
When I saw Xiao Yao in the dining hall, I was speechless. In his presence my heart became an ocean of love. As usual, I ate my lunch in silence. Temple food was simple and bland, but my first meal out of the dark chamber was a wild culinary adventure. The flavors were magnified a hundredfold. I could even distinguish the different tastes between two grains of rice. As I chewed, I closed my eyes and returned to the clear white light. I was so happy that I could have stayed at Jiuyi Temple for the rest of my life, but my summer holiday was about to end.
Xiao Yao was extremely busy; apart from our morning practice by the Rainbow Tree, I barely got to spend time with him. But the night before I left, he set aside some time and we had a serious conversation.
“Tomorrow you return to fan shi—ordinary society,” he stated. “Worldly life is not like monastic life. The monks up here have it easy. Our life is simple. We know our routines in advance, and there are few surprises. Secular life is much more challenging. There are plenty of attractions and distractions to pull you in many directions. Obligations and responsibilities will drag you one way, then the other. Leading a spiritual life in the secular world requires great strength of character. There is a saying: the lesser sage lives in the mountains while the greater sage lives in the city.”
He looked at me with deep compassion. “Strive to be good.”
“Yes, Shifu,” I replied.
“You have awakened extraordinary powers this summer, Jihui, but you have only begun your journey as a healer. Behind the sky there is another sky. There is much more for you to learn. Don’t imagine that you are special or better than anyone else. Despite your abilities, you are an ordinary human being. Keep your heart open. Practice compassion whenever you can. Practice modesty. Jie jiao jie zao—avoid arrogance, impatience, and coarseness. Be kind and loving all the time to everyone.”
“Yes, Shifu.”
“When you return, focus your energies on school work. The next two years will be demanding. You must make every effort to get into a good university. Only a small percentage of students who apply are admitted, but I am confident that if you devote yourself to your studies you will succeed.”
“I will study diligently, Shifu.”
“With a university education and your Qigong training, many doors will open and you will make a mark on the world. Your destiny is bright. Wherever you end up, always remember that you are xiu dao zhe—a follower of the truth.”
The next morning we practiced by the Rainbow Tree, chanted in the main temple, and ate lunch together. Then I packed my bag and he accompanied me to the main gate.
“Buddha bless you, Jihui,” Xiao Yao said.
My legs froze. I didn’t want to leave him.
“Okay, go on now. Good-bye. See you next winter break.”
“Good-bye, Shifu,” I said affectionately, and left.
Walking down the mountain, I cheered up again and began to sing. Along the way I met two mountaineers. They were carpenters. Each one was carrying two wooden doors on his shoulders, and they were heading to the market to sell them. We walked together for the rest of the way. I bid them farewell at the bus station. I boarded the bus and then the train.
The view thickened with cars, buildings, and factories. I arrived at the Xiangtan railway station and walked home. My mother and father greeted me warmly. They prepared a delicious feast that included all my favorite dishes. We talked for a little while and then I went to my room. I lay in bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling. The thoughts now occupying my mind were those of a teenager contemplating the upcoming school year. But they evaporated as the ceiling fell away, and I dissolved into the peaceful light.