Hell and damnation, I’m dying.
Rand tried to open her eyes, but the early morning light sent shooting pain from her frontal lobe to the back of her skull. Her mouth tasted like a baked cow pie, and her stomach was churning painfully. She moved a bit and felt something hard tighten around her waist. Her eyes popped open, despite her body’s protests, and she stared into Jake’s sleeping face. She was spread over him like a blanket, and it was his arm around her middle keeping her immobile.
Trying to be easy, she reached down to grab his hand, moving it off her waist as gently as she could so as to not wake him. As soon as she was free, she rolled off the bed and stood, staring down at him in confusion. Jake Hansen, asleep in her bed. They hadn’t shared a bed since the concert trip to Dallas, when Red had refused to sleep with Jake and whined about sleeping on the floor. So Rand had crawled in with Jake and let Red have the second bed to himself. She hadn’t even been aware of Jake that night, just drifted off into a deep sleep, but boy was she aware of him now.
She walked around the bed, stumbling a bit as her stomach lurched. Damn, she was never going to drink again. She slipped into the bathroom, grabbed her toothbrush, and brushed her teeth, feeling a little less disgusting as she ran the bristles through her mouth. She tried to remember what had happened the night before, but patches were missing. The last thing she remembered was Branson trying to kiss her, but after that, things got fuzzy. She realized that she was in her pajama top and froze in horror. Had Jake undressed her, and then redressed her? Did they do more than that? She put her toothbrush in the cup and looked out the door at her sleeping houseguest.
He still slept soundly with his head turned toward her. He really was a beautiful man, all scruffy cheeks, straight nose, and a square jaw with a dimple in his chin. Red always teased him about having a butt chin, but Rand had thought it was very nice, a strong, manly chin. His sandy hair shone in the sunlight and looked so soft and touchable…
What was she thinking? Jake was probably just too tired to drive home and had crashed with her. That was it. Innocent. There was nothing to worry about. She came out of the bathroom quietly and grabbed fresh underwear, a sports bra, T-shirt, and jeans from her dresser and closed her drawers softly.
“Please tell me you aren’t going to wrap your boobs up anymore, because honestly, it can’t be good for them.”
His voice behind her made her jump, and she turned toward him, holding the clothes protectively against her chest. “They get in the way when I’m working.”
He sat up and ran a hand through his short hair before stretching out his arms. The muscles bunching and twisting under his shirt mesmerized her, and she had the strange urge to reach out and run her hands along the ripply bulges.
“Have you ever tried a regular bra? I bet you’d be fine,” he said, breaking the spell.
Why was he so concerned about what kind of bra she wore?
She reached in for her only regular bra, simple white cups with a thin lace layer over them, and held it up. “There you go, just for you.”
His laughter and shout of “Thank you” was cut off when she stalked back into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Why did she care what Jake thought about her underwear? When had she become this gaga girl who drooled at the sight of sinewy arms?
She showered quickly, scrubbing her hair and body vigorously so the feeling of nastiness would go away. When she finally felt a little better, she climbed out, dried herself, and slipped her clothes on. She adjusted the cups of the bra and pulled the T-shirt on, a little uncomfortable about the way they stretched the fabric across her chest.
When she came out of the bathroom, Jake wasn’t in the bedroom, and she moved down the hallway to find him pouring pancake mix into a bowl. He looked over his shoulder at her approach and asked, “Want pancakes?”
Her stomach protested the mere mention of food with a gut-wrenching twist. “Ugh, no, thanks. I’m going to catch up with the guys and check on the animals. I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Sure, take your time.” A smile stretched across his lips that held a teasing note to it.
She didn’t even want to know what was so amusing. Without another word, she turned to walk out the door and out to the barn. The early morning sun shone bright, and she squinted as her head started pounding again.
The hard gravel gave way to dying grass, and the nip in the autumn air helped clear her head. Fall was her favorite time of year. The holidays just around the corner, the change in the weather, and the trees had an almost calming effect on her. Of course, this year she would be spending those same holidays without her granddaddy, which brought on a new sadness. Usually they went to either Jake’s or Red’s for Thanksgiving, but Christmas had always been with the two of them. She would invite Earl to join them, but the old goat liked his solitude.
This year, she would most likely be spending them with a husband. Things were changing fast for Rand, and she wished she could freeze time. The last thing she wanted was to cater to someone else.
Another thing to add to the husband list. Beliefs and traditions. Just because it was only a temporary arrangement didn’t mean she would marry someone who didn’t do Christmas and Thanksgiving right.
She walked into the barn and found Jesse and Rick already grooming the horses. “Everything going good?”
Jesse and Rick, her ranch hands, looked over at her, and Rick’s eyes drifted downward, locking on her chest. His eyebrows rose, and she crossed her arms over her breasts, glaring at him.
Jesse was subtler. His eyes shifted down and up quickly, and catching Rick’s look, he elbowed him hard.
“Sure, boss, I think everything’s done. Andy is back at his place.”
“Thanks,” Rand said, a scowl still firmly fixed on her face. As she turned to leave, she heard Rick whisper, “Did you see that? Did you see her…”
She could only imagine the gestures he was making and wanted to spin around and fire his ass right there. The only thing stopping her was he was a hard worker who had been with the ranch for five years, and she didn’t want to draw more attention to her body. However, tomorrow he might find himself mucking every stall for a week, and that made her feel a little better about his blatant idiocy.
She walked past the large red barn to the old bunkhouse at the edge of the property. Andy, her foreman, had been her granddaddy’s best friend their whole lives and had inherited his little house and Digger, her granddaddy’s cattle dog, in the will.
Andy was putting on his tool belt when she found him. “Hey, morning. Everything okay?”
Andy looked up, and his craggy face split into a grin. “Sure, Rand, just got to fix a couple holes in the fence. Took care of all the animals already.”
She could feel her face heat up. “I’m sorry I overslept. I had quite a night last night and couldn’t drag myself out of bed.”
He tried to cover his grin, but she caught it. “Yeah, I heard about it from a couple of the guys this morning. Apparently, word spread about you being three sheets to the wind and threatening to kick Branson Alexander’s sorry ass.”
Rand groaned. “Great. So much for having their respect.”
“It’s not like any of them good ol’ boys ain’t acted a fool once or twice. They respect you fine.” Andy patted her arm. “Why don’t you sleep it off some more? You’ve got a lot to handle right now, and you need to keep up your strength.”
“Thanks, Andy.” She started to leave, but he stopped her.
“Rand, just so you know, the boys have been talking. About R.E.’s will…”
“I won’t be marrying anyone currently employed at the Double C,” Rand said firmly.
She wasn’t trying to be a bitch, and she regretted her harsh tone. All the men on the ranch were good men, and she wasn’t a snob by any means, but if she married someone who worked for her, it would be a major conflict and the Double C would suffer.
As polite as she could be, without leaving any doubts to her wishes, she amended, “I just don’t want there to be any question who is running this outfit. I’ve already got a few good candidates in mind. Please let the men know that my marriage will have no effect on their job or the Double C.”
Andy nodded solemnly. “That’s what I told them, but it might be better coming from you.”
“I’ll talk to them,” she said, heading back to the house with a heavy sigh.
She came back around the side of the barn and saw a white van parked next to Jake’s truck. As she got closer, she recognized Doctor Jay’s stamp on the side, and her gaze found the handsome veterinarian standing on her front porch, talking to Jake.
I wonder what he’s doing here. Taking the steps of the porch quickly, she smiled self-consciously at both men.
“Hey, Doctor Jay, what brings you out here?”
He smiled and stepped away from Jake toward her. “You do, Rand. And you can just call me Jay.”
“Okay, Jay. What can I do you for?” She tried not to hunch her shoulders when Jay looked her over, a clear “something’s different” look on his face.
“Well, I was actually coming by to see if you would be interested in buying tickets to the Pasta for Paws spaghetti feed we’re putting together. It’s to raise money for strays who come in injured or for people who can’t afford lifesaving surgery for their pets.” His gazed shifted toward Jake. “But it looks like I came at a bad time.”
Jake’s mouth opened like he was going to say something, but she broke in. “No, now’s fine. Jake was just nice enough to drive me home last night when I drank a little too much.” Not wanting him to get a bad impression, she quickly added, “Not that I drink to excess often. It was a weird anomaly that will not be repeated. Ever. Not that I mind people who drink. I just usually have a few beers…”
Jake stepped out of the house and rescued her. “What Rand is trying to explain, a little unsuccessfully, is that we’re just good friends.”
“Exactly.” Rand wanted to kick herself for being such a ninny and him for finding it funny.
Jay smiled. “Well, good. So, are you interested?”
“Sure, just let me get my checkbook, and I’ll by tickets for all the guys.”
“That’s okay, you can bring it by the clinic. I just realized I actually don’t have any tickets on me.” Jay’s face turned a deep red.
“Okay, sure, Jay. Thanks for coming by,” Rand said, puzzled. Why would he come out to sell her tickets if he didn’t even have them?
“I’ll see you next week.” Jay nodded at Jake before turning around and heading back to his van.
Rand looked at Jake as Jay backed up the van. “Was that weird?”
Jake moved closer and patted her cheek. “I think he likes you.”
“Really? You think?” she asked, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice. Jay was smart, nice, and loved animals, a perfect candidate for her temporary husband.
“Let’s get you some pancakes, okay?”
She nodded and followed him inside, worrying her bottom lip. She thought she knew what her problem might be, but it was terrifying to say it out loud. Jay was attractive, and if what Jake said was true, probably would want a physical relationship. What if she decided to have sex with him and she was bad at it?
She sat at the table while Jake loaded her plate. “If you keep gnawing on your lip, you’re going to poke a hole in it,” he said, setting her plate in front of her.
She released her lip and played a bit with the pancake, stabbing it with her fork. “How do you know if you’re good at…kissing and stuff?”
Jake spluttered. “Stuff?”
“Never mind.” She looked down to hide her red cheeks as she stood. “I’ve got things to do today. Thanks for breakfast.”
“You’ve haven’t even had a bite. And don’t get all uppity, I was just surprised is all,” he said, setting his plate down next to hers and putting his hand on her shoulder. “Sit.”
She sat back down and felt the feathery light brush of his hand as it slid from her shoulder to the bare skin of her arm. The caress had been so fleeting, she didn’t even know if he realized he’d done it, but the goose bumps on her arm popped up anyway. What was this crazy reaction she kept having to Jake?
She took a small bite of her pancakes, chewing slowly before swallowing it down, waiting for the nausea to send her running for the toilet. Thankfully, it stayed down.
“You’ll be fine,” he said, surprising her that he even bothered to answer.
“I don’t think so. I have no idea how to do all this dating shit. I don’t even know how to flirt and play coy.” She stabbed her next bite in irritation.
“Really? ’Cause when you get a few drinks in you, you are surprisingly good at it,” he teased.
Her scowl was swift and deadly.
“Oh, if looks could eviscerate.” Jake shoved a forkful of pancakes into his mouth and gave her a mouth-closed-cheeks-stuffed-goofy-ass grin, and she felt her own mouth twitch, fighting a smile.
“I’m being serious,” she said, trying to sound stern.
“Okay, well, it probably looks something like this,” he said.
When she looked up from another bite of pancakes, he was fluttering his lashes and pursing his lips, and she choked
“And then you say things like, ‘Well, bless your heart, aren’t you a gentleman?” he added, raising his voice several octaves.
Grabbing her glass of orange juice, she tried to stall the coughing fit of laughter his antics had caused.
“Maybe you should wear a wig and go for me. You’re obviously a better woman than I am,” she said, pretending to glare.
“Hey, I was just trying to be helpful. You want advice on how to flirt, talk to one of Red’s sisters. They have wrapping a man around their finger down to a science.” He went back to his pancakes.
Why did he sound so irritated? She was just playing with him. “I don’t want him wrapped around my finger. I just want to find someone that I won’t absolutely hate being married to.”
“Well, I’d offer myself up, but I couldn’t do the name-only thing,” he said, so casually her mouth dropped and she could do nothing but blink at him, her heart beating wildly.
Had Jake considered marrying her?
By the look of pure terror on his face now, she doubted it and had a feeling he was afraid she would take him seriously.
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t deal with your constant narcissism, so it’s a good thing that’s decided,” she said, trying to lighten the mood and calm her happy heart palpations.
He lost the deer-in-the-headlights expression and flashed a sheepish grin. “I’m not narcissistic. I’m just self-aware.”
“You would think women would find you arrogant, but they just seem to keep flocking to you.” She made a face at him.
He waggled his eyebrows and crooned, “The ladies love my eyes and amicable charm.”
She snorted and went to put her dish on the counter. “I don’t know what you’ve been told, but you have as much charm as an armadillo’s backside.”
Suddenly, his hands were on her shoulders and spinning her around. He slipped his hands down to lay flat on the counter, leaning over her until their noses were almost touching. “Now that isn’t very nice, darlin’, especially when it’s coming from the prettiest mouth I’ve seen west of the Mississippi.”
She blinked at him, and his tone turned caressing, his eyes hot. “In fact, I’ve been thinking… Lips like that have got to be soft as a rose petal. You wouldn’t mind if I tested them out, would ya, sweetheart?”
Her heart did a double-dip backflip, and her lips parted as he leaned closer. Her eyelids dropped down, and at the first brush of his mouth, tingles tickled their way down her body until she was squirming closer. Her hand slid up to cup the back of his neck, and she slipped her fingers into the short strands as she leaned into his kiss.
He made a noise that was a cross between a moan and a growl before she felt him lift her onto the kitchen counter. His hands slid up her thighs, his thumbs rubbing through her jeans, and a throbbing tempo started between her legs. She gasped against his mouth as he cupped her through her jeans, and he pulled away, his breathing harsh.
“Shit. This is crazy. You are making me crazy,” he said, still hovering above her.
It took a second for her to understand that he wasn’t going to come back to her.
Dropping her hand from the back of his neck, she whispered, “What is going on with us?”
Jake backed away from her and cursed again. “I’m sorry. Fuck! I need to go.”
“Jake…” she called out, but he was already slamming through the front door like she was going to chase him down and hog-tie him.
This was the second time in a week Jake had kissed her and run out without explaining. At this point, she wasn’t sure who the crazier one was: him for kissing her, or her for forgetting why she shouldn’t enjoy it.
* * *
Jake cursed as he shifted his truck into gear. They were friends, and he knew enough to know he was no good to any woman for more than a few days. If he kept kissing her, he was just going to end up hurting her. He wasn’t ready for anything serious; he was just upset that the bank had turned down his loan application and wanted to feel better. And kissing Rand had made him feel fucking fantastic.
He needed to apologize, to explain that it wasn’t her fault and it would never happen again. Right now, though, he couldn’t get the taste and feel of her out of his mind, and until he did, he shouldn’t get within ten feet of Rand.