"Don't wear such a frown. You'll get wrinkles," Ilara said, nudging me with her elbow. I held my tongue. Ilara might reveal more to me if I remained silent—perhaps even about Aunela and this trip she was planning.
She led me out to the front steps of the castle, the night air brushing my face like a wet rag. Summer was certainly on the horizon again. The familiarity of the weather wrapped around me, recalling nights of dashing across rooftops and getting into all kinds of trouble with petty criminals.
"This humidity," Ilara said, running her free hand through her hair. "My hair has never looked this bad. I suppose I'm just not meant for this place."
I couldn't help the snort that came out.
"Ah, there's my girl," Ilara said with a large grin. "I do miss that uncontrolled tongue of yours. Moody and miserable Brynna is the least fun."
"Sorry to disappoint."
She grinned as we reached the bottom of the stairs. "Come, let's go to the gardens."
Though it was night, the large moon overhead illuminated the gardens, alive with the sound of crickets and flashes of light bugs. Ilara had at least kept these gardens pristine, with trimmed hedges and flowers blooming from nearly every angle. It still looked how I remembered it from when I was a little girl.
"You can excuse us," Ilara said to the two guards manning the gate.
They saluted her and walked away, resting their hands on their swords. Once they'd turned the corner, she nudged me to keep walking with her. My pulse quickened. We were alone, and there was an exit to the city through the garden wall. Ilara probably knew about it, too. My fingers itched to reach for the knife in my pocket, but I kept them by my side.
"I love this place," Ilara said. "Katarine and I would take long strolls in the mornings, when the weather was bearable. She tried to teach me the names of all the flowers, but I'm hopeless when it comes to minute details." She sighed. "I'm heartbroken that she abandoned me, but not surprised."
"You do remember that you stuck her best friend in the dungeons," I drawled.
"Instead of killing him," Ilara said. "Surely, that had to have counted for something."
I saw how you treated him. I caught myself before I spoke. "If I ever see her again, I will surely ask," I said. "But if you ask me, I believe they're both safely back in Niemen with Beata."
"You don't think Felix would've moved the world to be with you?" Ilara smiled, and it almost looked genuine. "He was absolutely devastated by your death."
"The last time I saw Felix was the day you stabbed me." I forced hardness into my voice. "Right after he chose his duty to the kingdom over me. So whatever devastation he felt was probably that he'd allowed yet another royal to be murdered on his watch."
She turned away from me, and I allowed myself a small exhalation as I looked at the sky. That had gone somewhat better than I'd anticipated, even though I felt like I'd stumbled my way through it.
"I do love it out here. It's a reminder of how beautiful a fertile land can be, and how we take it for granted," she said. "You know, there's nothing that isn't earned in Severia. Not life, not happiness. Not power. If you want something, you have to take it for yourself."
"Regardless of the cost, right?" I asked.
"You see, that's why I knew you would never be comfortable with a crown," Ilara said, turning to me. "You don't understand that helping the world means sacrificing a few."
She was right—I used to be that person.
"But that's what I love about you," Ilara continued. "You aren't a queen. You're a shadow in the night. A masked hero who's more comfortable helping anonymously than being in the spotlight. And that's why I want you by my side. I could use a capable heart like yours to help me as I take my country into a new era."
"And you're willing to overlook all I've done?" I asked. "Killing soldiers in Neveri, raising arms against you?"
"If you're willing to overlook my destroying your camp."
I stiffened then looked away.
"I didn't wish to be cruel, but you wouldn't take a hint," Ilara continued, gently stroking a dark red flower. "So drastic measures had to be taken to keep the peace. It's why I sent my army to raze yours, and why I had no choice but to send Mother Fishen to the dungeon."
"You what?" My voice echoed in the garden long after it left my lips.
"She obviously couldn't be trusted," Ilara said. "So I've put her in irons until she's better able to remember what happened the night Katarine and Felix escaped."
It was all I could do to hold in my fury. "She's innocent."
She shrugged. "I suppose news didn't reach you. Katarine used your uncle's dead body to smuggle Felix out of the dungeons. All my guards swear they have no idea what happened, and Mother Fishen says she was consumed by a need to fall asleep." Ilara sat back. "Now, I don't know about you, but that sounds like Fishen had a hand in allowing them to escape and seems to have been involved with someone who knows how to sneak around the city." She turned to me, curiosity on her face. "But perhaps if you were to tell me what you know, you could secure her release."
My insides twisted, but I couldn't help Fishen. Not now. "Do you think I'm the only person who knows how to use knockout powder?"
"I don't know, actually," Ilara said, eyeing me. "I know nothing about your Veil tricks, except that you're the only one who's ever used them."
"I'm merely the most famous. But copycats abound." I leveled my gaze at her, grateful I could be honest when I spoke next. "I had nothing to do with Katarine and Felix's escape, as I was up north running my own camp."
"Well, that's just a shame," Ilara said with a sigh. "I'd hoped you could enlighten me, so I might be able to release her. I suppose she'll just stay in there."
I shook my head. "The Mother will punish you for this."
"Oh, pshaw," she said with a shrug. "The Mother loves me. Why do you think I've been able to do so much?"
I could help myself. "I'm sorry? You think the Mother condones what you've done?"
"But of course," she said. "There is a much larger game afoot, one you know nothing about. These fits and starts will lead the way to a better future for my people. Once I have everything in place…well…it won't matter who mounts an offensive against me." She shrugged. "The Mother's hand is strong on my shoulder."
It was all I could do to stand there and not sputter. She'd uprooted thousands from their homes. Torn this country apart. Starved my people to the point where the capital was dying. And she thought all of this had been blessed by the Mother?
"You're absolutely insane," I finally managed.
"Dear Brynna, you just can't see the forest for the trees." She sighed and leaned against the wall. "That's your problem, you know. All you see is what's in front of your face. It's why Beswick continued to be a thorn in your side, even after everyone rightfully told you to let him go. And it's why I was able to so easily fool you."
"You won't do it again," I snapped.
"But I already have." She tilted her head to the side and smiled. "You tell me you haven't seen Felix or Katarine or Beata since the day I stabbed you, but Coyle reported seeing her run away from Celia's camp with a wagon full of children."
I stopped. "Coyle was there?"
"My dear, he led the attack," she said before shrugging. "Well, I wouldn't call it leading. But it was a nice reminder of his loyalties. They're so fickle, you know."
I wasn't sure why that surprised me. Perhaps, deep down, even after all the betrayals and backstabbing, I'd thought Coyle might be salvaged. He might turn one more time, and I could use him to my advantage. But even if he offered me a path to the throne, I could never work with a man who'd slaughtered children.
"The question remains, my dear Brynna," Ilara asked, tilting her head slightly. "Why did Coyle report seeing her run away with a wagon full of children if you say she wasn't with you?"
Crap. Ilara had just caught me in a boldfaced lie, and by the smirk on her face, she knew it. My heart slammed against my ribs as she continued toward another of the vine-covered walls.
"B-Beata was there, but Felix and Katarine were not," I said, knowing it sounded like a complete lie as it came from my lips.
"I'm sure," Ilara said, with a smile that said she could read me like a book. "But I wonder why you haven't used that knife yet?"
"The…what?"
"The knife, my love, the knife!" Her smile was now almost manic. "The one that I had Luisa put in your dress pocket."
My mouth fell open before I could stop it.
"I thought someone who was so furious at the thought of children dying would have wanted to slit my throat the first chance she got," Ilara said. "And yet here you are…and here I am." She glanced around the empty garden. "Now's the chance to do it. I've even led you to the secret door so you can escape into the city. With your speed, I daresay you'd make it all the way to that little grate on the city wall before anyone was the wiser."
I had no idea what to say or do next—Ilara had trapped me in my own lies. "What in the Mother's name are you playing at?"
"Come on, Brynna," she said, walking toward me. "Kill me. I know you want to."
"I don't kill in cold blood," I stammered, the only thing I could think of that almost sounded like the truth. But I was rapidly losing the mask I'd thought was hiding everything. I couldn't hold it and be flabbergasted by her comments at the same time.
"I'm sure," she said, taking a step back. "You'll kill hundreds of your own countrymen in Neveri, but you won't kill me here? You escaped last night and yet showed up back in your bed this morning. I wonder why?"
I shook my head, scrambling to come up with something that wasn't the truth.
"Perhaps you should've prepared more," Ilara said with a wink. "Guards?" Out of nowhere, two guards appeared and took me by the arms. "Take her back to her room."
I let them drag me back, unable to tear my eyes from Ilara until I turned the corner. One thing was for sure—this game of chess was a lot more complex than I'd thought, and I was already losing.