NOTES ON THE SUBJECT THOMSON, J.
First Test, Lord’s, June 16th 1977
(J.M. Brearley c Robinson b Thomson 9)
I have a new patient: Jeff, a troubled young Australian man with behavioural difficulties. I asked him to come and see me at clinic in St John’s Wood. He immediately sought to assert dominance with a threatening look and a volley of expletives. (Anger management issues? Possible Tourette’s? Hangover?) I quickly deduced that it was important to establish his trust, which I did by edging one to slip and getting back to my study in the pavilion, better to explore some theories about the patient.
(J.M. Brearley c Chappell b Thomson 6)
Further session with the patient. He greeted me, as has become our custom, with a torrent of bad language centred around my mother, the marital status of my parents at the time of my birth and a suggestion that I am an enthusiastic masturbator. What dark secrets lie in Jeff’s past to generate this well of sexualised animosity? “Oh nothing,” he replied quite cheerfully. “I just hate stuck-up Poms.” Clearly his walls of self-defence and denial are carefully erected and maintained. Sadly, our time was up, so I feathered one to the cordon and terminated our session without further breakthrough.
Fourth Test, Headingley, August 11th
(J.M. Brearley c Marsh b Thomson 0)
Only time for a very brief consultation today – but what progress! I encouraged the patient to free-associate, letting him know that he was in a completely safe space where he could just let his mind go and say whatever words came to him. “You arsehole, I’m going to shove this shitty bat up your poncy English arse, you dirty Pommie arsewipe,” said Jeff. And then it struck me – the patient has Obviously become fixated in the anal stage of development, beyond any doubt because of some deep trauma as a very young child. I was so excited that I immediately tickled one behind and retired to the pav to write up my notes.
(J.M. Brearley c Serjeant b Thomson 4)
More field research and occupational therapy with the patient, who has made splendid process. “Morning Brearley, you dirty son of a bitch,” said Jeff. I thought it was extremely interesting that he would choose to greet me in that way, and I put it to the patient that perhaps he was really expressing his anger and resentment at his mother? Unfortunately, we were unable to explore this more deeply as Jeff dismissed me almost immediately. I have decided to invite him to come and work with me at Middlesex, so we can continue our excellent progress on his therapy, and also so I won’t have to bat against him anymore.