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I stand at the front door of the house I grew up in and glance down at Sam standing at my side. I have no idea how welcomed I’ll be, or not, and I raise my hand to knock. The door opens before my knuckles hit the wood.
My brother, CJ Ryan stands on the other side, with that mischievous sparkle in his eye. He hasn’t changed one bit since I left, and that old flare of envy blooms.
“Val and I took bets as to how long you’d stand out here,” CJ says, and he breaks into a broad smile, pulling me into a hug.
I return the welcome. “You might not be so happy to see me after we talk,” I say as the hug breaks.
His smile falters, but the moment his gaze drops to my side, its back.
“Who’s this?” he asks, crouching.
“Sam. She’s been with me since before I got to Detroit.”
CJ looks up with a smile. “Good choice in names,” he says and puts his hand out.
Sam tentatively takes a sniff and then allows CJ to pet her. Valerie stands, leaning on the doorjamb to the kitchen, and she gives me a nod of acknowledgement, but there is something just below the surface. A warning of sorts.
“He’s here, isn’t he?”
CJ stands and sighs. “Yes.”
I close my eyes and hang my head, shaking it slowly before I meet my brother’s gaze. “And you’re still happy to see me?”
“Hell, yes, I’m happy to see you. You’re my brother and I haven’t seen you or talked to you outside a random text in ten years. I missed you, bro,” he says and the sincerity in his eyes as well as the purity of his aura tell me all I needed to know. “Don’t just stand there, get your ass in here,” he says, yanking me inside.
I step inside, dropping my bag on the floor. “You have a couple of bowls so I can feed Sam?”
“Sure,” Valerie says, and turns away into the kitchen.
I unzip my duffel bag and pull out the dog food, bringing it with me to the kitchen. I slow to a stop halfway to where Valerie has two bowls in her hand. Three kids sit at the breakfast nook with workbooks open in front of them. A boy and two girls. The boy is readily identifiable. He’s CJ’s doppelganger, much like CJ was our father’s.
The girls are a few years younger, but all three kids have the same features as well as the bright, almost blinding auras.
“You had twins?” My gaze snaps to CJ and he smiles.
“Kids, say hi to your Uncle Tom,” CJ says as I take the bowls from Valerie. “Tom, this is Alex, Amber and Arianna.”
“Hi,” I say and pour a bowl full of dog food. “This is Sam.” I add water to the second bowl and set it on the floor before standing and facing them.
I get the smiles and hellos of children trying to be polite, and a pang hits. I should have been around to see them grow up. Instead, I was running around the world closing portals.
Beyond the children, sitting on the couch, is Michael and the glare he sends in my direction makes me stay close to Sam, where I feel reasonably safe.
“He’s not going to harm you,” CJ says quietly, so only I can hear.
I huff and meet my brother’s gaze. “I think you might be underestimating just how pissed he is at me.”
“Come on,” CJ says to me and heads for the door at the opposite side of the kitchen, leading to the finished basement.
I glance at the group, send a strained smile, and follow my brother downstairs. The playscape I remember gave way to a sectional and gaming controls as well as an arts and craft table in the corner.
CJ takes a seat, studying me, and now that we were alone, his smile has disappeared. I take the cushion opposite him.
“Before you say anything, I need to thank you. You gave up a hell of a lot to go out there and do my job for me. I can’t begin to repay you.”
“But I fucked it all up,” I say and he laughs shaking his head.
“No. They fucked it up by not telling us all this shit.” He points at the ceiling and I catch the burning anger underneath his calm exterior. “They told me I had to close the portals and they never once said to make sure Lucifer was there when I closed the last one. I shut Michael down on that. Yes, he’s pissed, but it’s not your fault.”
I stare at CJ and press my lips together. “He didn’t tell you he’s locked here, too, did he?”
CJ blinks and leans back in the seat. The confusion written in his features tells me he does not have the full story.
I choose my words very carefully. “Michael tried to... steal the grace inside me.”
The clarity of what that means slams home in CJ and his jaw tightens.
“I lost control,” I add with a shrug. “Paradise Cove is no more.”
He’s still reeling from my confession when I add. “Did you know I’m a father?”
His entire form sinks into the cushions and CJ rubs his face, collecting his thoughts.
“I didn’t know about Paradise Cove,” he finally says, and meets my gaze.
My muscles tighten and I close my eyes at the burn. “And you didn’t think to tell me I had another daughter?”
“Would it have made a difference?” He crosses his arms and sends me that challenging raise of his eyebrow.
I bite down on the automatic yes that wants to come out, because it’s as much of a lie as Bridget telling me she no longer cares. Finally, I shake my head because if I had known, it would not have changed my course.
“I figured, why give you something else to kick yourself over.”
While it irks me, I understand CJ’s rationale. The jangle of Sam’s collar pulls our attention to the stairwell and she comes trotting over, settling at my feet.
CJ smiles. “What possessed you to get a dog?”
I shrug and lean down, running my hand over her soft fur. “I figured I needed something to keep me from becoming suicidal.” I meet CJ’s gaze. “It probably was a good call; otherwise I would have died in Death Valley.”
CJ cocked his head. “The crater?”
I chuckled. “Yeah. That was the only time Lucifer appeared. Instead of using my head, I had no strategy and no control over the emotional turmoil, and he nearly killed both of us.”
Sam shifts to a sitting position and lays her head on my knee. I take the opportunity to scratch behind her ears. Her tail slowly sways in contentment.
“I carried her ten miles to the nearest town and then spent the next year in physical therapy.”
CJ’s eyes widened. “And you didn’t think to call us?”
“Oh, I thought of it. Every time I had to figure out how to put clothes on with my shoulder in a fucking cast, but I sucked it up. I had a lot of time to kill and some serious therapy to get back into fighting shape. Instead of just wallowing in my pain, I used the time and enrolled in a flight course.”
“Really?” CJ asks, but he isn’t mocking me, he’s impressed.
“Yep. I earned a private pilot’s license.” It’s something I’m proud of, and it’s something my brother doesn’t have.
“So, when are you buying a plane?”
I laugh. It would be like CJ to ask that question, and we both have that kind of money to spare, but I hadn’t considered buying a plane, not when I have Ted Beaumont’s private jet company on speed dial. “I haven’t put much thought into that,” I answer.
“You should. Think of all the exotic places you can take Bridget whenever you want to.” He grins and sends a wink my way.
“I can go anywhere right now; all I have to do is pick up the phone. And as far as Bridget is concerned, she’s still pissed at me,” I say, and CJ laughs.
“Yes. I hear about how much of an asshole you are every time she’s here. But don’t let that discourage you. Underneath all that spitfire, she is still in love with you. The question is do you feel the same?”
“I don’t know. It’s been ten years.”
His eyes narrow and I feel the tickle in my mind.
“Bullshit. She’s been on your mind almost the entire time you were gone.”
“It’s a moot point. She doesn’t want anything to do with me and she certainly doesn’t want me anywhere near April until after the threat is gone. I don’t blame her, either. Seems I’m a walking death sentence, or hadn’t you noticed?”
“Cut the pity party shit.” CJ leans forward in the seat. “You didn’t screw up by leaving to do what you needed to. That’s something that, while hard to digest, is forgivable. Where you did screw up was excommunicating yourself from all of us.” He takes a deep breath. “Both Valerie and I get it. We’ve been casualties of Lucifer’s before, and know what kind of focus it takes to commit to the quest you were given by default. It should have been me out there, but I couldn’t leave my family, especially after what happened to yours.”
“CJ, he’s coming for us. You know that, right?”
CJ nods and glances down at the floor. “Yes, I know that. I have two daughters that are on his acquisition list.” He snaps his gaze to mine and there is an underlying controlled fury there. “And he’s been powering up for the confrontation.”
“He’s been killing angel blood again?”
“Yes, and he’s pretty much obliterated the list.”
I can’t help my jaw from falling open. There had been hundreds of names on that list, but considering I hadn’t had a run in with him for almost eight years, perhaps I should have been able to make that educated guess. “Is that why Paige and Austin are here in York?”
CJ gives me a nod. “If you hadn’t been such a stubborn jackass, and had returned my calls, you would know all this.”
I concentrate on petting Sam for a few minutes, trying to calm the nerves bundling in my stomach. CJ’s reproach is not without credence. He has every right to be as pissed as Bridget is.
“I’m not,” CJ says quietly, pulling my gaze to his. “I am just glad you’re back. For purely selfish reasons, of course,” he smiles.
“Yeah, you don’t want to be the only one tasked with everyone’s safety.”
His smile deepens and he shrugs. “It’s been tough. There isn’t anyone else who can do it besides you.”
I study him, reading into his words. “None of your kids...” I can’t finish the sentence. I naturally assumed they’d inherited his gifts, but the slow shake of his head unnerves me. It means that he and I are the only ones with the ability to stand up against Lucifer.
“If we fail...” He stops, keeping eye contact.
“It means the end of times.” My words produce a shiver in both of us.