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“When shit goes down, the women and children need to get into the panic rooms we built,” CJ says.
“Bullshit!” Naomi, Valerie, and Bridget say in unison.
“You built a panic room?” I ask.
CJ glances at me and nods. “Both Damian and I did, and it connects houses underground, so there is an escape route.” His eyebrows stitch together. “You didn’t know that?”
“No. I wasn’t exactly paying attention that summer,” I say and sigh.
“We did some serious revisions, like replacing the fence around both properties with bars that are a mixture of iron and platinum, and a solid salt line from rock wall to rock wall. No demons can get onto the property, and assuming there still are vampires left that Lucifer can call on, they can only access the property from the water. We basically protected this place like he had done to his property in Connecticut. Sigils, salt, platinum and anything else we could think of.”
I really had been on a different planet during that time; I was more concerned with getting through the day after my wife’s death, than anything else. I did nothing to protect our house, and I glanced at Paige and Austin sitting quietly on the couch offering them a conciliatory shrug.
“We made sure the fencing around your place had the same protections,” CJ says quietly. “Both Damian and I knew you weren’t thinking straight that summer, and someone needed to watch out for you.” His gaze moves to Bridget and she sighs, her hand lands on my arm.
I glance at her, but she is still holding CJ’s gaze. I don’t think she is fully aware that she reached out for me until my stare pulls her attention away from my brother. She glances at her hand and yanks it away, readjusting the expression on her face to annoyance.
Her aura threads with darker colors, and I can’t tell if she’s angry with me, or herself. The silent pause directs my attention back to the family room.
“So, there’s little to no weakness in the perimeter?”
CJ bites the side of his lip before he speaks. “I don’t know. I only know how to defend against vampires and demons. There is no defense against crazy fuckers like the guy who killed Raven, and Lucifer can just walk onto the property just like Michael did.”
“And who knows what else Lucifer has at his disposal,” I say, slumping in the seat.
CJ and Michael slowly nod at my assessment.
“This is such a fucking mess,” I mumble, and swivel the chair towards the counter. Exhaustion from exercising control over Bridget, along with jet lag, seems to have caught up with me today and I prop my head on my hand, attempting to keep my eyes open.
Bridget steps to my side and meets my gaze, with concern etched into the corners of her mouth and eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’m tired,” I admit.
“Go lay down,” CJ says and I move my gaze to his without moving anything else.
“The kids are on my bed,” I say.
“You look like shit,” Bridget says and I try to focus my eyes on hers, but my eyelids keep closing longer with each blink.
“This is what jet lag and exercising control over someone’s will for more than a minute or two looks like,” I mumble, and the throbbing in my temple fights to take over my entire consciousness.
“Come on,” she says, and slings my arm over her shoulder.
I’m vaguely aware of her leading me through the family room, and the click of Sam’s toenails as she follows us across the wood floor. Climbing the stairs taps me out, and when we get to the bedroom, she leans me against the wall while she clears the bed.
I hit the mattress and my vision fades behind the throb of a killer headache.
“Stay,” I whisper, trying to focus on her.
She takes a seat on the edge of the bed and runs her fingers across my forehead and into my hair at the temple. The slow progression of her soft touch lulls my eyes closed and dulls the pounding in my head.
I open my eyes and focus on her for a moment. “I love you, Bri,” I whisper. She rolls her eyes at me, but continues to rub my forehead and I let my eyes fall closed again, sinking into a migraine stupor.
* * * *
“MR. RYAN?”
The soft voice reaches into the darkness, pulling me to the surface and I shift, blinking my eyes open. April stands in the doorway with Sam licking her fingers.
“Mhm?” I mumble, and stretch. My head still has that post-migraine heaviness, but at least I don’t feel like I have an axe planted in my cranium anymore.
“Mom asked me to wake you to tell you dinner’s almost ready.”
“Dinner?” I ask, pushing myself into a sitting position. Last I knew, it wasn’t even ten in the morning.
“Yeah. You slept all day,” she says.
“Holy cow,” I whisper, and rub my face. “Did anyone feed Sam?” I ask, after dropping my hands to my lap.
April smiles and pats the dog on the head. “Yes. My mom did. We’ve been playing with her all day. She’s a lot of fun.”
I nod very slowly, taking care not to jolt my head in any way. “You can call me Tom, you know,” I say after getting my bearings. She just shrugs in that non-committal manner that tells me she still isn’t sure about me yet. “Thanks for waking me. I’ll be down in a couple of minutes.”
She turns and Sam follows her downstairs. This is the first time since I bought her from that shelter that Sam has opted to follow someone other than me, and I can’t help the smile that surfaces. It’s as if the dog knows that April’s safety is much more important to me than my own.
I head to the bathroom to relieve the pressure in my lower abdomen. After I take care of my body’s needs, I brush my teeth and run my hands through my unruly hair, getting it back into some semblance of order.
It is much quieter downstairs now, than when I was escorted to bed, and when I step around the corner, I see why. Only CJ’s family and mine are sitting in the family room.
“Where’s everyone else?” I ask, calling their collective attention to me.
“At Naomi’s. We’ll regroup tomorrow,” CJ says.
“And Val?”
CJ’s lips thin and he looks at his watch. “She should be here any minute. She had a few patients that she couldn’t rearrange.”
I can tell by his tone that he isn’t happy that she isn’t here, but I also get the sense, he had no choice. Valerie was much more stubborn about her responsibilities as a pediatric surgeon than anyone else I know, that came first, even before her safety, and CJ seems to have accepted that over the years.
“Has anyone warned Steve?”
CJ stops what he is doing and looks at the phone. What color was in his face disappears, and both of us move at the same time. I get there first, pulling the receiver off the wall. I dial by memory, staring at my brother with my heart pounding in my throat.
After the third ring, the phone connects.
“I was wondering just how long it would take you.”
The voice chills me to my core, and I meet CJ’s gaze. Lucifer has Steve and Jennifer Williams, our adoptive parents, and I know damned well what he is going to demand for their lives. CJ’s face echoes the same panic ripping through me and I shake my head at him. We can’t make the jump. If we do, we leave the possibility of Lucifer taking possession of either one of us, and that would be a disaster to our family.
It’s futile to beg for their lives and I squeeze the phone for a moment, gritting my teeth.
“You bastard,” I whisper as I listen to the scraping of metal against stone.
“I want your brother’s heart this time,” he says with a laugh.
“That’s never going to happen.” I close my eyes, dipping my head because I know what the price for my insubordination is.
Lucifer locks onto my mind’s eye, holding me hostage and giving me a full view of Steve and Jennifer in their apartment. I struggle to break free but it is no use, and when he runs the edge of the blade down Jennifer’s arm, she screams.
I bang my head against the wall, holding the ripping pain inside, helpless to look away from the unfolding massacre.
Steve bellows, struggling against the demons holding him in place. With whatever strength he has, he tosses the first demon on the ground and punches the second in the throat. His face is a mask of fury, the same type of fury pummeling every muscle in my body.
Just as he is within reach of Lucifer, that bastard snaps his head towards Steve, blasting him right off his feet. Steve sails through the sliding glass doors and right over the edge of the balcony. I can hear his cry fade and the faint sound of smashing metal followed by the shrill sound of a car alarm.
“It seems your adopted father does not have the ability to fly,” Lucifer says and my knees buckle. The swirl of rage and remorse fills every fiber and I can’t breathe. I slowly sink to the floor still gripping the phone to my ear.
I know it’s useless, but it still tumbles from my mouth anyway, “Please don’t kill Jennifer.”
The ghost now squatting next to my form overshadows the horrifying laugh that comes through the line. CJ throws a punch at the wall, burying his fist in the drywall.
The knife in Lucifer’s hand lashes out, slicing through her abdomen. She screams as she tries to hold in her viscera. Blood spills along with her intestines and my stomach rolls.
He drills the knife into her multiple times, relishing her fading cries, and I just want the connection to end, to unsee what he is doing. The receiver drops from my hand and my breathing stalls and starts in inadequate fits until the light fades from Jennifer’s eyes and the connection severs.
I can’t seem to recover, to pull air into my lungs, and Steve’s ghost whispers, “Breathe.”
It’s a mantra I’ve heard from his lips before, in that calming tone, that seems to loosen the tightness in my chest and give me the ability to draw sufficient air.
My gaze travels to Steve’s ghost crouching next to me. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper and he pulls me into a hug.
“There was nothing either of you could do,” he says, trying to wipe out the guilt embedded in my heart.
CJ is still beating the shit out of the wall because he knows as well as I do that Steve and Jennifer are dead, but at least I was able to block him from the disturbing mind-meld I had with Lucifer and the visions he fed to me. That is something I would keep on lock down until I stopped breathing.
Jennifer shimmers into view at the same time Valerie steps inside the house.
“Lucifer’s in New York,” I say for the benefit of the rest of the family in the room.
Valerie looks at me, and then the spaces that the ghosts fill before her gaze darts to CJ and his bloodied fists and tear-stained face.
Tears don’t come for me. They are locked with the horrors I’ve survived, and I stare at the ghosts in our midst. “You need to move on,” I say, knowing what happens to ghosts that hang onto this life. My father was an exception and we all know it.
“Maybe I can help,” Steve says and I shake my head.
“Go see your daughters and give Hannah a kiss for me, okay?” My voice cracks and I press my lips together. My vision swims and I close my eyes. A hot path cascades down my skin and I swallow the lump in my throat.
When I open my eyes, Steve has his arm around Jennifer and they both meet my gaze.
“We will see you again,” he says and I try to give them a smile. They don’t know I’ve destroyed Paradise Cove and with it, any chance of ever seeing them again.
“Go,” I whisper, and they fade into nothing.
My chest squeezes and I glance at Valerie, still frozen just on this side of the garage door. Her complexion is ashen. My announcement of Lucifer and New York brings back all sorts of horrifying memories for her, and CJ’s complete melt down doesn’t help.
The hole in my soul widens again, and I finally turn my gaze to the family room, meeting Bridget’s wide-eyed stare. The only other one staring at the spot Steve and Jennifer just vacated is my daughter and from her expression, she knew them enough to be shattered by their death.
Valerie already has CJ in her arms, offering her warm comfort to her husband, while I shake uncontrollably on the floor a few feet away.
Sam whines, crawling across the floor. When she reaches me, she lays her head on my leg. She knows how close I am to losing my shit, and I look up at the ceiling, trying to control the whirlwind building in my chest.
It isn’t until Bridget takes a knee next to me that I focus on something other than the swirl pattern on the ceiling. The words I said to her so long ago bubble up to the forefront of my mind.
“I should have let you run,” I say. “You might have gotten far enough away to be safe.” My voice is flat, devoid of any of the emotions tearing into my stomach, and I slowly stroke my dog to settle her. She’s seen me like this enough to know there is a very dangerous storm brewing inside, but Bridget doesn’t understand the complete absence of emotion.
“What is wrong with you?” she asks, tears flow in a steady stream down her cheeks and I stare at her.
“I’m broken,” I say and find my feet. I need the chill of the evening air and the spray of the waves crashing on the rock, so I leave everyone and cross to the rock wall. I take a seat, stretching my legs out as I lean against one of the posts. Sam takes her position next to me and I continue stroking her head. The tide is rising and every now and then, a rogue wave hits the rocks and splashes up into my face, but I’m so numb that the cold does not penetrate my skin.
I don’t acknowledge CJ when he takes a seat on the opposite side, adopting the same position. He is quiet, and I don’t bother listening to his thoughts, I just need the nothingness right now, the numbness to remain and if I speak, the swirl inside me will crash down like a rogue wave and leave me decimated.
“I can’t do this without you,” he finally says, and I turn my eyes in his direction.
“I’m not going to survive whatever goes down,” I say.
“The hell you aren’t!”
We both jerk at Bridget’s harsh interruption. She looks at CJ. “Dinner is burnt and I think Valerie and the kids need you,” she adds, and he glances at me. I nod towards the house and he goes. I’m not ready for the turmoil inside the family room, and I look out over the ocean again.
“Sam, go inside.” She points towards the house but my dog doesn’t move.
“Go take care of April,” I say and she lifts her head, meeting my gaze for a moment before trotting off.
Bridget watches and then turns towards me. I turn away because I have to keep the shit locked inside right now. It’s the only way I’ll be able to function, and we’ve both seen what happens to me when I embrace the darkness. I end up under suicide watch in the hospital.
She steps closer. Her fingers touch the cheek facing the water, turning my gaze to hers. I meet her sad hazel eyes, and my teeth involuntarily clench. She keeps her hand on my cheek with her thumb caressing my skin. When the soft pad of her thumb travels over my lips, that flare of burning heat warms the chill in my bones enough for me to acknowledge her.
I shift, planting my feet on the grass, and pull her into a hug. My ear rests on her breasts and I focus on the thumping of her heart. She kisses the top of my head, wrapping me in her arms just as tightly as I hold her.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” she whispers, and I pull away, meeting her gaze.
“I’m not the only one feeling the pain,” I reply.
Her lip turns up on one side with acknowledgement. “I didn’t think you were feeling anything.”
I pull her closer, delivering a kiss. This is the only way I can show her what is brewing within my skin. It’s the only way I can share my loss, and she gasps before she deepens the kiss, letting our tongues perform a slow and aching dance.
I’m the one who breaks the kiss this time, and I stare deeply into her haunted eyes. “He’s just as dangerous as we are, except he has zero qualms about destroying everything in his path. CJ and I are hung up on preserving all we care about. That includes this town. The idea of innocent people dying...” I shake my head and press my forehead to her chest. “That’s going to be the thing that undoes us.”