The next morning, Harvey was one of our first patrons. “Eva, may I have a word with you?”
“Of course. What can I do for you?” I assumed he’d heard about last night’s altercation and about my sleeping in the Yoders’ house.
“I have a busy day ahead,” he told me, “but I wanted to get in here early to ask you to come over for supper this evening to meet my family.”
“Are you sure? Couldn’t we speak here?”
“Nee. My dochders wish to meet you.” He patted his beard the way Dat did when he was pondering a weighty subject. The two men must be near the same age.
“Ach, have you told them about me?” I served him coffee. “Or have they heard the rumors and want to check me out for themselves?”
“Nothing like that. I mentioned I’ve been coming in here…”
I couldn’t face more disapproval. He must have recognized hesitance in my demeanor.
“Please. They begged me to bring you home.” He sipped a mouthful. “So I suggested tonight. If you’re free.”
“I have no other plans. In fact, I was hoping you’d come in so I could talk to you about baptism classes.”
His smile lines deepened. “That’s wunderbaar news. Do you wish to become baptized in this district or your parents’? Although their bishop has been ailing with gout.”
“What do you think? I now live in this district, but would it be awkward for me to get baptized in one of your church services?”
He settled himself at a nearby table and beckoned me to sit across from him. “To answer your question, not at all. But if you prefer that one of the other ministers baptizes you, I can arrange that. I only want what’s best for you.”
I was touched by his kindness and consideration.
“Give it some thought during the course of the day,” he said.
“You said I’d have to wait—”
“Or show me that you truly want to join the church with all your heart. Getting baptized is like marriage. It’s a lifetime commitment. Are you ready to pledge yourself to obey the teachings of the Bible and the Ordnung?”
“Yah.” I would erase the Yoders’ guest room and the extravagant coat from my memory. I was done dabbling with the Englisch world. Ach, I was done with nonsense about driving a car and reading Englisch books that lured me to another continent.
He leaned closer to me, and I felt the force of his gaze. “I’ll come by at six o’clock and pick you up. We can discuss it more on the way to my home.” He looked right into my eyes as if trying to read my thoughts. Or connect with me? Maybe he’d always gazed at me with intensity, but I hadn’t noticed earlier. Maybe I’d been intimidated or been glancing away because I thought he was judging me.
“Oh.”
“Eva, you seem reluctant to join us for supper.”
“It’s just… You caught me off guard.”
“Tell you what. I’ll come earlier. If you’ve changed your mind, we’ll discuss your baptism. In any case, please don’t go to any trouble. Our suppers are casual. My dochders will be wearing their everyday clothes. Come just as you’re dressed today.”
I stuck out one foot, and he smiled down at my Nikes.
“Those shoes are fine. Well, not for your baptism. But as I said, suppers are casual in our home. We usually kick off our shoes when we enter the house.”
I saw my reflection in his spectacles and wondered how he viewed me. I hoped as another daughter and not a convenient surrogate mother to his children? Ach, he couldn’t harbor ardor in his heart, making him wish to kiss me with that huge beard. I could barely see his lips. But if Jake got baptized and we married, he’d be required to wear a beard too. For the rest of his life.
Harvey glanced up at the wall clock above the cash register and got to his feet. Our few Englisch customers watched him, and yet none dared bring out a camera. The man commanded respect.
“See you, Eva.” He replaced his black hat and pushed in his chair.
“All right.”
Minutes later, as Beatrice and I stood behind the counter, her face beamed as she arranged muffins on a plate and set it on a tray for Sadie to deliver to a table. I tapped my elbow against hers. “Did you put that supper invitation into Harvey’s head?”
“I can’t insert a random idea into a man’s brain that isn’t already percolating. He brought up the subject. And apparently you didn’t discourage him.”
My mind filled with apprehension. “How many children does he have again?”
“One married son with young children of his own, who lives in a small house near Harvey. Two of his four daughters are in rumspringa and of marrying age, and two are still in school and in need of a woman’s guidance. A ready-made family.”
Reality struck. “What have I gone and done? I don’t want to marry him and be a grandma yet or raise another woman’s children.”
“Sounds fun to me.” Beatrice cut a dill pickle in half and laid it on a plate as a garnish.
I lowered my volume. “But I want to have my own children.”
“I never could. Not for lack of trying.” For the first time I saw Beatrice blush, but I pretended not to notice. “Maybe Harvey’s girls don’t want their father to be lonely. Or they simply want to meet you. At least be courteous enough to go.”
That afternoon, a lanky Englisch man strode into the café asking for me. “If you’re Eva Lapp, I’ve brought someone to see you,” he said as I strolled out to greet him.
I couldn’t imagine who he was. I scanned the room and asked, “Where?”
“Out in the parking lot in my car.”
After all the uncertainty in my life over the last couple of weeks, I wondered if I should summon Stephen or someone else to accompany me. I held my ground and asked, “Who are you?”
“Jeff Mallory. Brandy’s oldest brother.”
“Ach, is there something wrong with Brandy?”
“Nope, but she insisted I drive by here on the way out of town to say goodbye. And show you her newborn.”
“Really? Oh, yes! I’d love to see her baby.”
Following Jeff, I traipsed across the parking lot to his sedan. Its engine was running. Brandy lowered her window for a minute and waved. “Hey, Eva! Come and meet little Eva.”
In a car seat in the back slept a precious baby swaddled in pink blankets. I rounded the car and got in the backseat to get a closer view.
“Ach, she’s perfectly beautiful.” Taking in her angelic features, I inhaled the sweet, unique fragrance only a baby could produce and yearned for one of my own. “But shouldn’t you two still be in the hospital?”
“The doctor says I must have gotten my dates mixed up because your namesake appears to have arrived exactly on time. I never was good at math or watching the calendar.”
“That’s a lame excuse for getting pregnant,” Jeff said. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you the facts of life?”
I ignored the siblings’ squabble. “You’re so beautiful,” I told my namesake. “I’ve never had a baby named after me. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am.” My hands naturally reached out to straighten her knit hat and fluff the blankets around her neck. More than anything, I wanted to rock my own baby in my arms. “I’d better not wake her up,” I said with hesitancy, because I was dying to. “She looks so peaceful.”
Brandy spoke to me over her shoulder. “She’s got a full tummy, so I hope she sleeps the whole way home. Maybe we can come back next month. Or you can visit us. Jake could drive you.”
“Where will you be living?” I asked.
“At our oldest sister’s,” Jeff said, buckling his seat belt. “Cindy’s been lamenting that her four kids—ages twelve to nineteen—are growing up too quickly. One’s away at college, leaving a spare bedroom. Their house is a rambler that goes on forever. Plenty of room and a built-in babysitter.”
“Cindy kept her crib and all her kids’ clothing for when she’s a grandma. She’s spending today getting everything ready for us.”
“She’s real excited,” Jeff said. “Says she can’t wait.”
I imagined Brandy’s little one crying in the middle of the night and wondered how long her enthusiasm would last.
“Is she married?”
“Oh, yeah,” Brandy said. “Her husband’s a big old teddy bear. He said he don’t mind. The more the merrier. He’ll go along with the program as long as his wife’s happy.”
I gave little Eva one last looking over. “Brandy, please keep in touch.” I dreaded shortening the visit, but I didn’t want the baby to get cold. And Jeff seemed ready to leave.
“Of course,” Brandy said.
“Please wait just a moment.” I got out, dashed into the retail store, and grabbed a piece of stationery and an envelope. Coming around to Brandy’s window I handed her the paper. “You can write me at this address. The café’s telephone number is printed on here too. And please do call me anytime.”
“Absolutely.”
“And send me a photo, okay?”
“I thought Amish can’t have photographs.”
“She’s not Amish, now is she?”
“No. I assure you, neither of her parents is Amish.”
I stood for a few minutes, watching them leave the parking lot. I wanted to help Brandy, but maybe I’d done all I could. I tried to recall the baby’s sweet scent, but already the aroma was being replaced by the exhaust of a nearby SUV, its back hatch full of shrubs.
When I returned to the café, the phone was ringing. Sadie swiped up the receiver and then held it out to me.
“A call for you, Evie. I think it’s Jake,” she whispered as she handed it to me.
“Did you see little Eva?” Jake asked me the instant I answered.
“Yes. She’s adorable.” I missed her already.
“The most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen,” he said. “But then we haven’t seen ours yet.”
“Ours? You mean yours and mine?”
“You don’t hope to marry Stephen, do you, Evie?”
“Nee, I suppose not.”
“Gut, because you and I should get married and start our own family immediately. I can’t wait. How about you?”
“Hold on. You mean get baptized first, don’t you?”
“I don’t want to wait six or more months the way Bishop Harvey insists. He isn’t even a bishop in my district. Let’s get married by a justice of the peace tonight and then get baptized later.” His voice was exuberant, full of self-assurance.
“Are you sure we can do that?” I’d never heard of it. And did I really want to embark on a merry-go-round marriage?
“Why not?” he asked.
“For one thing, I’m going to Bishop Harvey’s house for supper later today.”
“What? Are you pulling my leg?”
“Nee. He wants me to meet his family.”
“You know what that means, don’t you?” Jake sputtered. “He wants to court you. Right under my nose, that dear, kindly bishop is trying to steal you away.”
“I have no idea what he wants. I think his dochders talked him into the invitation.”
“But finally, we can be together. Forever. And live right here with my parents, who already love you like their own dochder.”
“I’ll think about it. But not this evening because I have other plans.”
“I forbid you to go.”
“Ha, that’s a laugh. You are not my husband, nor my minister, deacon, or bishop, and you have no say over how I spend my time or with whom.”
“But Harvey’s an old man. Probably too old to have or want more children. He’s a fine man, but no doubt set in his ways. And you’re too young to throw in the towel.”
I wasn’t going to make things easy for Jake anymore. I cupped my mouth with my hand. “Jake, if you really want to marry me so much, you’ll have to wait.”
“Please promise me you won’t commit yourself to Harvey or Stephen. I know you won’t because you don’t love either of them. Am I right?”
Sadie was emptying the cases and storing the leftover food in the refrigerator. She rolled her eyes at me.
“Jake, I need to get back to work. I told Sadie she could leave early.”
“If you don’t promise me, I’m going to drive over there right now.” I could hear exasperation expanding Jake’s voice, like bubbles rising to the surface.
Two Englisch couples entered carrying bags from the retail shop, followed by two Amish women.
“Customers are arriving, and it’s almost three,” I told Jake. “I need to show them how to serve themselves coffee and tea. And how to pay.” My patience with his demands were vaporizing like drops of water in a hot skillet. “Please don’t come here” were my final words to him.
The two Amish women were already pouring themselves tea and leaving money, while Beatrice gave the Englisch couple directions as they begged for pastries. She broke down and sold them each a muffin. Then she covered the glass case from view.
“When will I learn to say no in a way that people believe me?” I asked Beatrice as she and I finally closed the café’s kitchen. Sadie and Annie bustled around straightening and washing.
“I could have put Harvey’s dinner invitation off for a week, and I should have.” Stress was invading me.
She glanced back at me and batted her eyes. “So what are you going to do?”
“I can’t not go with Harvey when he comes to fetch me.”
“Why not? Tell him you have a headache.”
“Not so far from the truth. My temples are pounding. But I can’t lie to a bishop.”
“Then tell him the truth. You’ve changed your mind. Women do that all the time.”
“Not to a bishop, they don’t. I couldn’t.”
“He’s only asked you to come for supper. Maybe his daughters really do want to meet you, and it means nothing more.”
“Then why haven’t they come in here to the café? Doesn’t everyone in the county know where I work and every detail of my life?” The image of me on the front of the newspaper flitted through my mind.
She scrutinized my eyes. “I see no happiness on your face. Do you not care for Harvey at all?”
“Yah, as a friend, and I respect him as a mentor and spiritual leader. But he’s as old as my dat.”
“About my age, probably.” She clucked. “You said you were going to his house for supper, so go already. Otherwise you’ll never know.”
“He told me not to dress up.”
“Suddenly you care how you look?”
“Ach, none of my kapps are pressed, and I don’t have an iron. Mark’s sister Susie was going to help me out, but I didn’t think to ask her today.”
“We have an iron in the laundry room in the basement.”
“But I assume it’s electric.”
“I wonder how Edna used to press her kapps. Who knows? A nonelectric one might be waiting for you down there. Or I’ll press one for you myself. Now, are you satisfied? You’re not headed to a church service or a wedding.”
“You’re right. Maybe I should look like a slob. He’ll be disappointed and his dochders will disapprove.”
“In other words, they’d be making up your mind for you. Honestly, Eva, you need to make your own choices and stop relying on other people’s opinions. I speak from experience.” She glanced to the ceiling, as if remembering the past. “You’re not the only one who’s been the subject of gossip and ridicule. I was miserable in high school. Bottom line, I was chubby and never thought anyone would date me. But then I met my soul mate, who said he adored me exactly as I was. So when he asked me to elope, I said sure.
“As you can imagine, when my parents’ attorney annulled my marriage, I was devastated and again the subject of gossip.” She expelled a sigh and her shoulders rounded. “Everywhere I went, heads turned. I was so embarrassed and belittled that I allowed my parents to force me to marry a man I didn’t even know, let alone love.”
“But it all turned out for the best, yah?”
“Eventually. Although I’ve often wondered what would’ve happened if I’d simply refused to obey my parents. How different my life would be if I’d stayed married to…”
“Will you tell me his name?” I asked.
“I’d better not, as he could stop by.”
“Seriously? He’d come here?”
She shrugged, but her face brightened up, and she looked ten years younger. “We attended a small high school, so many have kept in touch, especially with our quarterly newspaper.” She nibbled her lower lip. “In it I read his wife passed away last year. Of course, I was sad to hear of her death, and yet surprised and pleased when he contacted me and said he wanted to get together. For old time’s sake.”
“Well? What did you say?”
“I said yes, but he told me he’d be out of town on business for several weeks. I didn’t tell you about that when we talked about him before, but that was more than a month ago. I haven’t heard from him. It would have probably come to nothing anyway.”
The image of Beatrice in a wedding gown sent me for a loop. Would she remarry before I married for the first time?
“Now you know my secret. Please promise not to tell anyone as I don’t want to be the subject of more ridicule if he never shows up. I only told you my story because I wanted you to know I can empathize with you.” She removed her apron and tossed it into our laundry hamper. “Now I’ll go down to the basement and look through our irons.”
“I have a clean kapp in the cabin.”
“If you don’t mind my going in there, I’ll get it,” she said.
“Of course I don’t mind if it’s not too much trouble.”
She stared out through the glass. “Oh my. Looks as though you have another visitor.”
Harvey sauntered through the café’s front door as Sadie and Annie slipped out before the end of their shifts. His grin expanded when he saw me.
“Hello, Harvey. I wasn’t expecting you this early.” I flattened my apron, but no use in trying to improve my appearance after a day’s work. I was wiped out and must look it.
“I was wondering if we could stroll through the nursery,” he said. “I’m looking for a gift. Is it true you sell flowering plants in the greenhouses?”
“Yah, so many beautiful flowers and shrubs, but I know little about them. I can get someone to help you.”
“But it’s you I came to see.”
“To get to know you better.” I must have looked startled because he added, “And talk about your baptism. Classes will start soon.”
“Would Olivia Beiler be allowed to take them with me?”
“She is welcome, although her parents are in the same district as yours, and they’ve graciously taken her back to live with them. I was most thankful to hear she’s returned to the fold. The Englisch world tempted the poor girl away. I heard she cut her hair for what she thought was a generous act, but that’s the least of her transgressions. She has much confessing and repenting to do.”
“Maybe I should join in that district too.” But I didn’t plan to move home unless I lost this job. My life was a whirlwind of uncertainties.
“That would be a long drive.”
I noticed a man walking by lugging a potted rosebush, budding but not blooming. I kept expecting Jake to barge in and make a scene. If he did, Harvey might never let him join the church, and then what? I decided the sooner Harvey and I left, the better.
“I should go back to my cabin and change my clothes for supper,” I said.
“No need, really. You look perfect as you are.”
“But at least a clean apron. And Beatrice has kindly offered to iron a clean kapp.”
“No need to change a thing, Eva. That is, if you decide to come home with me for supper.”
“Yah, I accept your invitation.”
“As I said, by the end of the day everyone will be dressed casually.”
“Even on a Saturday evening?” I didn’t buy his story. “If you have dochders in rumspringa, they might be all spruced up to go out with their friends or beaus.”
“They’d better not, as this get-together was their idea.” He cleared his throat. “And I agreed it was a gut one.”
Through the glass wall, I saw a young Amish fellow pushing a wheelbarrow.
“You have a wistful expression on your face,” Harvey said.
“In truth, I’d rather be working out in the nursery than in here.” I thought he might quote a proverb about learning to be content where God plants you. But he smiled back as though he found me delightful.
“Many young women would envy you. For instance, one of my dochders loves to cook more than anything.”
“Is she looking for a job?” Maybe one of his daughters had an ulterior motive for meeting me. “She could fill out an application in case one of my girls quits.” I would not be surprised if Sadie and Mark announced their intention to wed, or if Annie found a higher-paying job or enrolled in school. Or if we got plain old too busy, which I supposed was an oxymoron.
“I’ll let her know,” he said. “I hope my invitation hasn’t made you anxious.”
I realized I was wrapping my kapp’s string around my index finger. Tighter and tighter, until my fingertip ached. I tried to appear nonchalant as I released my digit. “Ach, I guess I am nervous. Am I in some kind of trouble?” Maybe Harvey had heard about my driving Jake’s automobile and backing into Wayne’s patrol car. “Is that why you wish to speak to me?”
“Not in the slightest.” He rested his chin on his knuckles. “I’m extending a welcome to you to our district, and I hope you’ll feel comfortable attending church in the future. Tomorrow is a nonpreaching Sunday. Maybe you’d feel more comfortable meeting my family during the day.”
“I might go to church with my parents tomorrow if I can borrow the mare and buggy. I should have thought to ask Stephen earlier in the day.”
The phone in the kitchen jangled. I ignored the intrusion, but the ringing continued relentlessly. It finally fell silent.
As Harvey and I entered the nearest greenhouse, he read the sign aloud. “Tropical Plants. Sounds interesting.” The air was warm and moist. We were embraced with the ambrosia of gardenias.
“I could spend my whole day in here. When I take a break, I often wander through the greenhouses.” I took a leap of courage and asked, “Did your wife enjoy gardening?”
“Yah, very much. She could name each flower and bush in her garden.”
“That is my goal, someday. For now, I only know the more common varieties.” We strolled past pots of African violets and orchids.
“Plus she grew pumpkins, cucumbers, and gourds. Not a space left open.”
In a bold moment I asked, “Do you miss her?”
“Yah, I do.” His upper lip trembled, but he steadied it. “I’m grateful for my children and grandchildren, but they don’t take the place of a spouse. A man gets lonely.” I waited for him to expound, to elaborate, but he said nothing.
“Do you think one woman can take the place of another?” The greenhouse turned silent. What was I thinking, asking such a personal question of a bishop? I imagined he had helped many widows survive the loss of their spouses. Even after some gruesome tragedies.
“Her death was Gott’s will. If the Lord selects another spouse for me, I must obey.” His eyes turned jovial. “Or puts one in my path and allows me to do the selecting.”
“Even if you don’t love her?”
“What makes you think I wouldn’t love her, or at least find her attractive?”
To give myself something to do, I picked up an African violet and removed a broken leaf and shriveled flower. “I’d like one of these for my parents’ window.”
“Then I shall purchase it for you. I told you I was looking for a gift.”
I was left speechless as I weighed the implications.
“When you come over to our house, you can see the flower garden, although it’s not in bloom yet.” He was changing the subject, perhaps for the best. “Of course, you’ll have to wait a few months to see the bounteous blooms. My dochders have started weeding it, but there’s much to be done. They want to keep it beautiful in their mamm’s honor.”
“I can imagine so.” Always, she would come first.
“In truth, our marriage got off to a rocky start. I don’t know what I was expecting. That somehow she’d read my mind and fulfill all my wishes.” He gazed across the length of the greenhouse. “Almost immediately we were awaiting our first child, and my wife was sick day and night. My mamm assured me morning sickness is common, but I grew to resent her and the baby, who was born with colic. And then another child arrived right on its heels.” His beard wagged as he shook his head.
“My wife and I were both shocked and saddened when someone nominated me for minister and I was chosen by lot. In the blink of an eye, I had two full-time jobs. That was in your parents’ district, but it was bursting, beyond capacity with more than two hundred people. We had to split. That was when you were so young you wouldn’t have remembered me anyway. And then, after the split, much to our disappointment and horror, the Lord chose me to replace the elderly bishop with heart problems. I know now we were being selfish, but my wife and I both cried that day.” One side of his mouth curved into a smile. “I remember the looks of relief on the other men’s faces. Their pats of condolence on my back.”
We were skirting the issue, but I didn’t dare come right out and ask him what his plans were. Was he set on remarrying in the near future? Marrying season was in the fall and winter, after the crops had been harvested. But I’d heard widowers could marry anytime.
Huffing and puffing, Beatrice bustled into the greenhouse. “Caro Dio. Bad news, Eva.” She held up my drooping kapp. “I turned the iron on too warm and scorched your kapp.” She inhaled another breath. “But worse than that, Jake called to say Amos fell.”
“How bad a fall?” Harvey asked.
“Did he lose consciousness?” I said, not knowing what her answer would mean.
“I didn’t think to ask questions like that, silly me,” Beatrice said. “But Ruth is frantic.”
“Did you actually speak to her or to Jake?” I had to wonder if this was a ruse to keep me from going to Harvey’s.
“Jake called me, but he passed his phone to Ruth, who said Amos had been determined to walk to the kitchen, where he lost his balance and fell against the counter.”
“Where are they now?” Harvey asked.
“In the Lancaster County Hospital emergency room. He’s getting x-rayed as soon as possible.” Beatrice held my ruined kapp as if it were a wounded bird.
“I’d better go and see for myself,” Harvey said. “Since I’ve been to see them once, I’m sure they expect to see me there. I’ve heard their own bishop is still housebound.”
“By buggy?” Beatrice asked. “It’s too far from here.”
“No, I’ll hire a driver. May I use a phone, Beatrice?”
“Sure, come with me to the house. I’d like to join you if you don’t mind. Ruth and I go way back.”
“Yah, I know you do.”
“I’ll come too.” In my inner ear I could hear Amos calling my name.
“No need.” Harvey’s expression grew complex, his eyes narrowing. “Beatrice and I can handle this.”
I set the African violet back down amongst the other potted plants. “But if Amos is dying, I want to say goodbye to him.”
“Eva has been the only one he wants to see,” Beatrice said. “I can testify to that.” She channeled her words to me. “But I have to wonder if you’re only going to see Jake.”
“I’m going there for me. I won’t be dissuaded by what others think. Just like you said, Beatrice.”
She readjusted her bun and reset a hairpin. “Stephen would probably drive us, but there’s only room for two passengers.”
“We can’t rely on him for everything.” I recalled the many times he’d helped me out. “If you don’t want me to go, I’ll find my own ride. There’s a Mennonite driver’s card in the café. I’ll call him.”
“I have his card in the house too, and I need to let the dogs out while we wait.”
“We could all use him,” Harvey said. “I’ll pay the fare. I’ll put my horse in the barn.”
I got the feeling he wanted to be in charge, so I agreed.