Esther couldn’t help but roll and reroll Daisy’s church hanky into babies over and over. Alberta touched her arm and patted it lightly. Their eyes met. The older woman leaned over and whispered.
“I know you miss her,” Alberta said, and then silently sighed as she looked toward the preacher and then back to Esther. “I miss her too.”
When Alberta’s hand returned to her own lap, her eyes forward, Esther couldn’t help but see her lips purse and a few quick blinks pushing away tears. Alberta had sat next to Daisy for the last six months since her husband passed. Her missing Daisy seemed to be a way of saying how lonely she was for her own loved one.
“Jesus said that those who do God’s will, they will be brothers and sisters. So woe to those who don’t do the Got sah villa Sie sint net unser bruders. Sie sint net unser schvester. Turn your back on those who go toward the world like Lot went toward Sodom. Be like Abraham and stay on the side of God and the church.”
Esther considered his words: Those who don’t do God’s will are neither their sisters nor their brothers.
Irene had turned her back on the church. Had loving Joe directed her life toward Sodom? Was Daisy’s deafness the result of sin? Irene and the baby’s death? Esther had done exactly what the church had called for all her life, but she’d never experienced the beauty of joy that her shunned cousin had. How fortunate for Esther that she had had the chance to see Irene’s happiness before her too-soon death. No, Esther thought. Irene had not stepped toward Sodom by leaving the church to marry Joe.
Often when someone was shunned, the community simply didn’t see them anymore. It was truly as if they had never existed. No one spoke of them. Or, if they did, it was behind the cover of a thick wooden door and sounded like tears. She had never wanted that for her and Irene, and looking back, she knew she’d kept her promise of friendship. Esther had no regrets about how she’d responded to Irene. How many around her could say that about a shunned family member or friend? Could she say the same about her dat?
She couldn’t see her father through the sea of white and black coverings. With the preacher talking about devotion to God and church, she wondered what he was thinking. He was almost a month into his own bann and still had several to go. Then there had been the suited man at the door—though she’d chosen to ignore her suspicions for the time being since she was beginning to appreciate Chet’s companionship. While he’d said that the stranger was only a salesman, Esther knew he was lying. She battled between keeping her eye on him to look for the truth or to just simply forget it ever happened for the chance to rekindle a relationship with him.
Esther let her mind wander, and before she knew it, she was on her knees in prayer at the end of the service. Where had the morning gone? The bigger question was: How was Daisy? She moved from the barn where church was held into the kitchen to set up a serving line for food. Usually she could ask Daisy to pour cold water into the cups, but today she asked another child. She cut the pies and cakes, then stood behind the table to serve.
“Esther?” A man’s silky voice spoke her name.
“Ya?” She looked up into the eyes of a former classmate. She didn’t know him well; he was older than her. He was as black-haired as she was, with strong features in his face.
“I’m Harvey Miller, Marty’s son. Remember me?”
She remembered that he was recently widowed.
“I remember,” she said it blandly, so not to give the impression that there was any hint of interest. “I didn’t know you were still here.”
“Coming back to stay. Mem is going to help me out with my kinnah until—well . . .” Harvey suddenly looked uncomfortable as he shifted his eyes.
Esther was sure that his mother would be helpful with his children and even more help in finding him a new wife.
He leaned forward. “Mem told me that you’re known for your baking. Which pie is yours?”
So Marty had talked to him about her? She shook her head no and diverted her eyes. “I only brought some butter today.”
“No shame in that.” He showed her his plate and whispered across the table when he saw a line of men forming behind him, “I love butter.”
“Why don’t you try this coconut cake,” Esther suggested, holding up a large square—it was made by another unmarried woman who had been jilted by a young man only a few months ago when he ran off to marry an Iowa girl. She was already twenty-six and had no other prospects. “It was made by Ruthie Lee right over there. That’s Marvin Lee’s girl.”
Esther pointed at the pretty red-haired woman serving potatoes. By relating who she was with her father instead of her husband, she was hoping he would understand that she was unmarried. Harvey’s eyebrows raised and he offered his plate.
She put the piece of cake on his plate, and he walked away as she continued to serve the rest of the men in line. She had to admit that Harvey was handsome, though she had never found such dark features as enticing as a man with light hair and eyes. She didn’t usually play matchmaker, but she was in no mood to entertain the ideas of a widowed man. Though, wasn’t that what she’d been doing with Joe? Why was that any different? Maybe she should’ve given Harvey some consideration to persuade her feelings away from Joe.
Her thoughts danced over the words she’d just spoken to herself and realized she’d admitted she had feelings for Joe.