I sneak away from the pack the next morning under the guise of buying groceries. The brothers all cast me glances rich with worry, but they don't say anything. Good. Maybe they finally understand I can take care of myself. Hell, I'm a werewolf now too. I can't blame them for worrying, and knowing what I'm about to do leaves a sick hole in my stomach. But they won't let me see Caleb alone- or at all- so telling them is pointless.
"Anything you need me to pick up?" I ask Dmitri and fiddle with my keys to avoid looking into his eyes.
He grips onto my hand like he's never going to let go, and my heart aches. I don't know what I would do if I went through the roller coaster of emotions he's faced these last couple of weeks. If I thought he was dead- I can't even think about it.
"Just be safe," he says and the little line of worry between his brows, the one that wasn't there until I disappeared, crinkles.
"I will. I promise." And I have every intention of keeping my word.
Thankfully, my car is fixed so I didn't have to borrow one of their trucks. Once I hit the main road, I turn toward the mountain instead of back to town.
The idea of joining their pack prickles at the back of my mind. It's kind of like a wolf wedding without the spectacle and party afterwards. Weird thing is I'm not nervous at all. In fact, the only sense of unease I have is facing Caleb again. But if I don't do it now I may never have the chance.
It's not hard to retrace my steps, even though I was pissed off the day I ran into him. Driving up towards the mountain, I see his inconspicuous mailbox and the little gravel driveway that leads to his house. I turn into it and stop, taking a deep breath to steal my nerves. At least his truck is here. Then I climb out and head towards the door. While it's only been a week since I escaped this place it feels like much, much longer.
His strong musky scent fills the wood around me, and I wonder how often he marks his territory. The Lowell brother's scent is everywhere around their farmhouse. They even marked around my house! As of yet, I haven't had the urge just to piss in anything except a toilet.
The wooden steps creak under my tennis shoes, and my hand shakes as I raise my fist the door. Maybe I should just forget about this and leave. What am I trying to prove? Why do I want to see him again? I should hate him. I should think he ruined my life, but I can't muster those feelings at all.
Suddenly, the door swings open right as my knuckles hit the wood. Caleb, the white wolf, towers over me. His huge six feet five frame fills the entire doorway, and he casts a quick look behind me, his arctic blue eyes flashing, and his proud nose moving as he sniffs the air. Then he glances down at me. "What are you doing here alone?" he sounds almost as incredulous as the Lowell brothers.
I frown and square my shoulders. "We need to talk."
His eyes narrow, and I notice the bandage wrapped around his bare shoulder and arm. Probably from the bite I gave him when I was a wolf and couldn't control myself.
"Fine," he says and opens the door wide, stepping out of the way.
Maybe I'm an idiot for walking in voluntarily, but I can't worry about that now. He points a blunt finger at the kitchen table, and I sit down. I hardly remember this room at all since I spent most of my time here in the bedroom with the dusty blue curtains.
"Water or iced tea?" he asks and sets a glass on the table next to his own.
"Water’s fine."
After he fills my glass, he sits across from me and rests his massive elbows on the table and pushes a piece of pale blonde hair across his wide brow. He's handsome in a manly lumberjack kind way- if lumberjacks looked like Nordic gods. Thankfully, I no longer feel the ache of desire that I did before. The wolf's bait curse is cleared from my blood- the curse he knows better than anyone.
"How’s your arm?" I ask lamely.
He runs a big hand over the bandage. "Healing fine. You have quite the bite."
"You’re one to talk," I say and rub at my healed side.
The hint of the smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. "Did you come out here to warn me, Sam? I know those Russians want my head. Or were you planning on taking care of me yourself?" he asks and raises an eyebrow in the particular way he has.
I wrap my hands around the glass of water, the coolness of it seeping into my skin. "No. I came to thank you."
Caleb widens his eyes and both brows shoot up. "Thank me? For what?"
Does he know and he just wants me to say it or is he really unaware? "You know. You cured me."
He takes a long sip his iced tea and considers me with an icy stare. "You came all the way out here for that? I don't buy it."
I sigh and narrow my eyes. "That was part of it. I also wanted to ask you a few questions about what it's like to be a wolf changeling- or whatever they call it."
"You want my help?" A note of amusement colors his voice.
"Advice. You did bite me after all. It's the least you could do," I say and cross my arms. Why does this bastard have to make everything so difficult?
He laughs, his whole chest rumbling, and runs his thick fingers through his hair. "Your little pack doesn't know you're here, do they?"
"Let’s just say they're not your biggest fans. I insisted they leave you alone though. You have a right to your own life without their interference as long as you don't interfere with ours."
He raises his eyebrow again and nods. "I've seen a few changes in my day, but most men don't get calmer after they turn."
"It’s not being a werewolf that changed me. It was seeing Dmitri and the other Lowell brothers again. I realized something I'd known all along, that's it."
He studies me for a moment like I'm some puzzle he's trying to figure out. "Okay, Sam. Ask away."
Shit. Now that the moment is here my mouth dries up. I sip my water and clear my throat. Hopefully, he won’t think my questions are stupid. “Will I go crazy every time I change?”
“No. It evens out over time. The first time you change is the worst. I’m actually not sure myself why it happens- maybe the body just isn’t used to the strain.”
“How long does it take?” I ask. The idea of what I did- what I could do as a wild beast- still sends stabs of fear coursing through my veins. What if I got ahold of a human? Or someone’s pet?
He shrugs his massive shoulders. “I’m not sure. To tell you the truth, I moved a lot after I changed. Finally settled up here because there was less of a chance I’d bite someone’s face off. A few months, maybe?”
I nod slowly. Dmitri and the others will have to take me out before the full moon and keep an eye on me. I hope they don’t mind monthly camping trips. “How do I change on my own? Will I still go crazy if I try?”
Caleb smiles, his pale eyes shining. “You feel the tug, don’t you? It seems stronger at night, but you can change any time you want. Just give into the beast and you’ll shift. Of course, you might want to take off your clothes so you don’t rip them to shreds. And make sure you aren’t in public.”
“Right. Bystanders probably wouldn’t like that.”
“Probably not,” he says.
I take a sip of water. “What about wolf hunters? How common are they?”
He shrugs. “Hell if I know. Honestly, I’ve only ever seen one, but I’ve heard stories so I know more are out there. I doubt you’ll have to worry if you stick around these parts. From what I know, they only hunt wolves in high population areas.”
The outskirts of Spokane certainly aren’t highly populated. “Did you mention something else about were-creatures or did I dream that?”
Caleb chuckles. “No, they exist too. But like hunters you don’t have to worry about them. Most species keep to themselves, as far as I can tell. I know a few were-bears and were-lions who live around here, oh, and a family of were-raccoons, but they won’t mess with an established wolf pack.”
Were-bears, lions and raccoons, oh my? “What about lone wolves? Do they mess with you?”
“Bears and lions are solitary by nature. We don’t bother each other- just like the animals in the forest.”
It’s a lot to take in, even though I’ve heard it before. Figuring out this new world is going to take a while, but at least I have a whole pack to guide me.
“Any other questions?” he asks and gulps the rest of his tea.
I swallow the lump in my throat and look him straight in the eye. “You didn’t want to claim me, did you?” I’m not sure why I have to ask, but something drives to do it. To be sure the Lowell brothers are wrong about him.
Caleb raises an eyebrow. “And put up with you as a mate? Why would I want that? I told you why I marked you- why I bit you. If you want to go back to that Eurasian pack there’s nothing I can do about it anymore. I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
I smile, my heart dancing in my chest. Five loud, Russian brothers all clamoring over me as their mate? I can’t wait. “Yeah, I know and it’s what I want. Thanks for the water,” I say and stand up.
The white wolf nods and stands, ushering me back to the front door. As I turn to go, I glance at him one last time and catch the shadow of a frown on his lips. He must be lonely, living out here all by himself. I hope, deep in my heart, he too finds a mate someday- someone he can put up with.
For authenticities sake, I stop by the grocery store before I head home. It’s not like we couldn’t use more food with six hungry wolves to feed. As I pull up in the dusty driveway, the afternoon sun beating down with ferocity on the big farmhouse, I notice Dmitri on the porch with Nikolai. The both stand when they see my car, their game of chess forgotten.
“What took you so long?” Dmitri demands and rushes toward me. Like usual, neither brother bothered to put on a shirt in the hot weather. The muscles tense beneath his broad frame as I hand him a bag and smile. Too bad I can’t get rid of that little line of worry on his brow.
“The store was crowded. Don’t you two have jobs?” I ask and pick up a couple bags myself.
“Day off,” Nikolai says and narrows his eyes. Can they smell Caleb on me even if I didn’t touch the man?
“What do you do anyway?” I ask and look at the acres of farmland surrounding us. I know they still plant and harvest, but there’s not a whole lot of money in farming. Plus, sometimes they’re gone for hours at a time.
“We have a business in town,” Dmitri says as we walk toward the house. “A Russian grocery store. Do you want to work there too?”
“No, I can find my own work. I think I’m going to try writing again, actually.” I might as well put my expensive degree to use now that I have a story to tell.
After we unpack the groceries, Dmitri wraps his arms around me from behind, his lips pressing into my neck. “I was worried,” he rumbles.
“Sorry, love,” I say and pat his hands as they grip onto my chest. Just the slightest touch makes my groin fill with need.
Nikolai smirks slightly from the kitchen table. “We need to wait until tonight.”
I sigh and nod, my skin tingling with the excitement of the evening to come. “Fine. Let’s play chess then.”