7

 

Blake leaned against the car.

Eli walked across the parking lot towards him. He handed his father a fresh coffee and leaned on the car beside him. “What’d they say?”

“They’re on their way.”

Eli nodded and sipped.

Clouds rolled in above them, reminding Blake of the red light on the Hancock building. Maybe the rain would hold off until they got home.

Home. How he wished Eli’s home was his own. Which reminded him of a question he’d wanted to ask Eli for some time. It was so rare his son wasn’t angry with him. Now seemed as good a time as any. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What do you think about your mom getting married again?”

The boy’s mouth flattened into a tight-lipped line. He said nothing.

“Not thrilled, I take it.”

“It’s fine.”

Silence settled as anger rolled off Eli like a thick, gray fog. This was the first time he’d seen Eli angry with Amber, not him. An interesting turn of events.

“Don’t you like the guy?”

“He’s fine. It’s just…do you know why they got married?” He scraped his foot along the ground. It found a pebble, which skipped forward a few feet. “She’s…she’d kill me for telling you this.” In the light from the diner’s sign, Blake could see the bright red creeping up the boy’s neck to his jawline. Eli didn’t turn red when he was angry. But he did when he was embarrassed.

“If you don’t think you should tell me—”

“You’re going to find out soon enough.” He scuffed his sneakers on the ground again, took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “She’s pregnant.”

Blake couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips. Seeing his son’s look of horror, he slapped his hand over his mouth and tried to stifle it. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny. It’s just…holy cow.”

Eli’s lips twitched. “Holy calf,” he said with a little chuckle.

“I can’t believe it. What a…no wonder you’re mad at her. How embarrassing.”

“No kidding.”

“Obviously it was an accident.” Blake said, trying to stifle his snickers. “And I’m proud of her for not, you know, getting rid of it.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You’re not excited about having a sibling?”

“The kid’s going to be seventeen years younger than me. And only a half-sibling. And now everything is going to be all about the baby. Which is fine. Whatever.”

Blake’s smile faded. He wrapped his arm around his son’s shoulders. “You know, when you were born, it was like…like I grew a new heart. I still loved your mother like I had before, probably more. But I had this whole new, amazing capacity to love. And although I never had a second child, I imagine it’s like that with each new one. Your mother won’t love you one bit less because of this new baby. In fact, if you help her out a little bit, she’ll probably love you even more.”

Eli sniffed and nodded. His son was tearing up.

The thought brought a lump to Blake’s throat. “Thanks for telling me. I promise I won’t let on that I know.”

“Sure.”

“You know, if it gets to be too much at baby central, you can stay with me anytime you want for as long as you want. Provided your mother agrees.”

Eli ducked away from his father’s arm. “It’ll never get that bad.”

Blake let the insult roll off of him.

They sipped their coffees.

Blake tried not to picture his ex-wife’s shock at finding out she was pregnant, lest he break into laughter again.

Eli shivered. “Should we go inside to wait?”

“You go ahead. I’ll stay here.”

Eli looked longingly at the coffee house. “It could be awhile.”

“It won’t take that long.”

“But aren’t you cold?” Eli wrapped his arms across his torso. “I’m freezing.”

Blake was cold. But it wasn’t as frigid as the weather inside. He and his son were getting along, and he didn’t want to change that, but now that the memory of earlier confronted him, he felt he had to. “Unfortunately, your girlfriend thinks I’m a pothead. She told her aunt that, and they both hate me. Frankly I’d rather take my chances freezing to death than withstand an hour of those two shooting invisible daggers at me.”

Eli cleared his throat. “Don’t you smoke pot?”

“I haven’t smoked since high school. I can’t stand the stuff.”

“Oh. I just assumed.”

“Pot is how I started, though. That’s why, when I heard you were…” He gulped his coffee. It burned his tongue and warmed him up at the same time. Thank God he’d gotten to Eli in time. “When you were looking for pot, it scared me to death. I started smoking pot in high school. I didn’t do it long, and I didn’t do it often, because I never liked it that much. But I had friends who did. They were living at home and working crappy jobs, but they had bright futures, big plans. But they kept smoking. I’m pretty sure they’re still living at home, working crappy jobs. Marijuana steals your ambition. And it leads to harder drugs. At least it did for me.”

“So you moved on from pot to other drugs.”

Blake nodded.

“Which drugs?”

“Cocaine was my drug of choice. I don’t like needles.”

“Do you still do any?”

A quick surge of anger. “You do know what rehab is, don’t you? Because I was in rehab for a long time. I’ve been clean for almost two years.”

“Yeah, but people relapse all the time.”

He gripped his cup tighter. It buckled on the edge, and he loosened his fist. “Not me. Never.”

Eli’s tone turned angry. “You can’t know that. How do you know you won’t start again tomorrow?”

Blake closed his mouth and swallowed his retort.

Would Eli ever understand the changes God had done in his life? Would he ever trust his father again?

“I gave my life to God and I trust Him to help me. I take it one day at a time and believe God will give me the grace to handle each obstacle as it comes.”

“Sounds like useless clichés.”

Silence filled the space between them.

Eli didn’t understand.

But Blake wasn’t going to defend himself or his useless clichés.

Eli kicked at the ground. “I’m sorry I told Kelsey you smoked pot. I just…I didn’t know.”

“OK.” An apology. It was a very small victory, but a victory, nonetheless. “I could teach you about cars if you want.”

“Oh. Um…I don’t know. Maybe.”

One more thing they didn’t have in common.

Eli cleared his throat. “So did Kelsey’s aunt call you tonight?”

“No, I called her.”

“How’d you know I was gone?”

Blake stared down the street.

They were still close enough that if he strained his ears, he could hear the music from the park. Perhaps a new band had taken the stage.

He wished they’d put a little more distance between themselves and the concert. He had a bad feeling about this part of town.

Eli was waiting for an answer.

“I went in your room to check on you before I went to bed.”

“You did?” Eli sounded surprised.

“I always do when you spend the night.”

“I didn’t know that.”

More silence.

Eli cleared his throat, ending the uncomfortable quiet. “How’d you know what I was doing?”

“Trying to buy pot, you mean? Kelsey told us. She was scared because you didn’t come back.”

“I shouldn’t have left her.”

Blake said nothing. No need to agree to the obvious.

“You’re sure they weren’t going to sell it to me?” All of a sudden Eli sounded young and insecure.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“I guess you’d know more about that stuff than I would.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t involved in…that kind of transaction very often.”

“No? How did you—?”

“I had suppliers. I never thought about what they went through—or the kind of people they had to deal with—to get me the drugs. I didn’t think about much except myself in those days.”

“But you’ve quit…completely?”

“Yes.”

“Was it hard?”

There were no words to describe those first few weeks in rehab. The only consolation was that it was now little more than a blurred memory. He wasn’t sure if that was a result of coming off the drugs or part of God’s gift of grace. “You don’t want to know.”

“Right.” Eli dropped his coffee cup and stomped on it. “God forbid we should talk about it.”

“I’ll talk about anything you want.”

“Sure you will. You never tell me anything. You never…” His voice trailed off.

“It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who’s scowling at you. You haven’t dropped your guard long enough since I moved here to talk about anything.”

“So this is my fault?”

“No, son, it’s my fault. But…you have to give me something. You can’t be angry with me all the time and then expect me to bare my soul to you.”

“Why should I? Why should I trust you?”

“Maybe because I’m your father and I love you.”

“Right.”

Blake downed the last sip of his now-cold coffee. After nine months living in New Hampshire, this was the longest and deepest conversation he and his son had had. He shouldn’t be surprised it ended on an angry note. At least it had taken a few minutes to reach angry. That was something.

The tow truck arrived a few minutes later and backed into place in front of the car.

Blake pulled out his wallet and slipped a couple of bills into his shirt pocket.

Two men emerged from the cab of the truck and approached.

“Hey. I’m Jimmy. This is Stan.”

“Blake Carmichael.” He extended his hand. “Thanks for getting here so quickly.”

Jimmy shook his hand, clearly surprised.

Stan shook too, muttered a quick, “Hey,” and shoved his hand in his pocket.

The two men stood there awkwardly.

Blake smiled.

“Is this,” Jimmy indicated the dilapidated car, ”yours?”

“No. It’s not. We’re just rescuing a couple of damsels in distress.”

“OK, I guess we’ll just get started.” They returned to their truck and began the process of hooking the car to the tow.

A few minutes later, Jimmy returned to where Blake and Eli were standing on the curb. “All set.”

“You know where you’re taking it?”

“A house up in New Hampshire, right?”

“Yes, in Dover.”

Jimmy lifted his green cap and scratched his head. “Long drive.”

Blake extended his hand to shake again. “Thanks a lot for getting here so fast and for taking care of this for me.”

Jimmy started as he felt the bill in his hand.

Blake extended his hand to Stan, slipping him a fifty as well. “Thank you. I know you two will take good care of this for me.”

“Of course, sir,” Stan mumbled.

Blake reached in his shirt pocket and pulled out two business cards, handing one to each. “You guys like movies?”

Jimmy’s eyes, already wide, sparkled in the dim street light. “Sure.”

“My email address is on the card. If you send me a message, I’ll send you a little gift.”

Jimmy’s expression lit like he’d won the lottery. “Thanks!”

“Don’t forget to include your addresses.”

“Definitely,” Jimmy said. “My wife’ll be so excited. Thanks!”

The two men went back to the truck and took off.

Eli eyed him suspiciously. “You always use your fame like that?”

Blake checked his watch. They’d been waiting less than thirty minutes. “It worked. I guarantee your friend’s car will arrive safe and sound. And I’ve made a couple of solid fans.”

“I guess that’s all that matters.”

Blake offered a humorless laugh. “If that was all that mattered, I’d be in Hollywood right now, not hanging out in a parking lot at four o’clock in the morning.”

“Oh, well, be sure to tell your…your publicity people, or whatever. We wouldn’t want them to miss this great act of kindness by the magnificent Blake Carmichael.”

“What publicity people?” Blake was stunned by his accusations. “What’s your problem?”

“You’re my problem. You and your fame, and your stupid career, and all your stupid money. Why don’t you just go back to Hollywood and leave me alone.”

Blake stood dumbfounded as his son stomped across the street.