THE game started late due to rain. It hadn’t been a downpour, so the field was dry enough to play, but it was still kind of sloppy. Taylor couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he was there. After he’d told Benny about his conversation with Becca, Benny made him promise to stay away. And he’d had every intention of doing so. Why, then, was he there, watching a game he had no interest in, being played by a guy who was disgusted by him?
When he saw Jackson, Taylor could feel the butterflies tickling his stomach. Jackson did his normal routine. He came out of the dugout and went to the mound, looked around and waved to everyone. Just like that, the butterflies went from fluttering wings to jackhammers. The batter stepped in, and Jackson went into his stance, throwing the first pitch of the game. Three innings later the team was ahead 4-0. Jackson was delivering blistering pitches, and he was completely baffling the Milwaukee Tech team. As the teams switched for the start of the fourth inning, Taylor felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Couldn’t stay away, could you? I knew I’d find you here,” Benny said somewhat sadly.
“I tried, Benny. I don’t know why I’m out here,” Taylor replied weakly. He turned to face his friend.
“Dude, you are so hopeless,” Benny said with a small smile.
Taylor couldn’t meet Benny’s eyes when he answered. “I really thought he was different… I thought he was… I dunno, nice? Good? Kind? All of the above? He’s not like anyone else I’ve met before.”
Benny reached out and put a hand on Taylor’s shoulder. “I don’t know what to say. Guess you just don’t know the real guy, huh? How about we leave, and I’ll buy you an ice cream? Babe’s has some great vegan flavors,” Benny whispered, trying to soothe Taylor.
Taylor shook his head. He turned his attention to Benny and tried to force a smile. “No, you go ahead. I want to see how the game ends. Maybe next time, okay?”
“Sure, I understand. No problem. Catch you later,” Benny mumbled, moving away. He stopped and turned back to Taylor. “Please don’t let this take over your life,” he pleaded softly before heading to the parking lot.
Taylor sighed. He knew Benny was looking out for him. He always had, ever since they were little. Benny had been more like a cool older brother than a friend. It was one of the things he liked best, their close bond. Being able to completely trust the guy without any kind of sexual feelings gumming up the works. And even though he was a complete brain, Benny was also really down-to-earth. Taylor couldn’t count the number of times Benny had helped him with his schoolwork and projects. If it wasn’t for Benny, he realized, he probably wouldn’t be applying for colleges in two years. He knew Benny wouldn’t be able to help him with this situation, though. He realized Jackson was something he needed to handle on his own, even if he had no idea how the hell to do it.
The game was a shutout. Milwaukee Tech had no chance, losing 11-0, dropping them to second place in the division. With only three more games in the regular season, it certainly seemed the boys would make it to state for the first time in twelve years.
With every victory Jackson’s reputation increased, Becca became more possessive, and Taylor grew more anxious.
NEAR the end of the season, the student body held elections to determine who would lead the class in the next year. Traditionally a senior held the role, but Jackson Kern, probably the most popular person in school, was the overwhelmingly nominated write-in candidate for Student Council President. When the votes were tallied, he had won a landslide victory. Next year he would be the youngest student council president in the school’s history.
An assembly was held to introduce the class to the new student council. When Jackson strode to the podium, he had a smile lighting his entire face. Dressed in a charcoal gray suit, he was striking. Taylor was awed. He couldn’t help but be dazzled by the young man’s confidence, charm, and dynamic energy.
“My name is Jackson Kern. Most of you probably already know me as the pitcher for the baseball team that’s heading to the state finals,” he shouted.
There were raucous cheers by the excited classmates. Jackson waited for everyone to calm down, a faint smile on his face.
“I can’t tell you how honored I am you elected me as the student council president,” Jackson said quietly, gazing out at the student body. “This means so much to me. When I was growing up, we moved around a lot. It made it difficult to make friends, because we never knew how long we’d be in one spot. My mom died when I was a kid, and it made it even more difficult because—” His voice broke. “Well, you know how moms are.”
It took a moment for him to gain his composure before he was able to continue.
“I’ve been in a lot of different places, and each one was so different. There were towns where football was almost a religion. Some towns it was wrestling. In some places academics were the rule, believe it or not. I never had the opportunity to fit in, because I never knew what to expect when I got there.”
He paused briefly to glance down at his note cards.
“I’m a baseball player, but that’s not all I am. I’m good at math and science. I love to read. I know how to play chess. Those things together make up a part of who I am. I don’t like the labels. As the student council president I want everyone’s opinion, not just those I agree with. Tell me what you think, because we all see the world differently and having other opinions will go a long way to making things better for everyone. I want our school to be a welcoming place for all of us. I want people to be able to come here and fit in, no matter who they are. I want it to be a safe haven for every student. I want us to become more than a school. I’d like us to be a community.”
For a moment there was quiet, and then the applause began, building to a thunderous standing ovation.
Taylor looked at his classmates. Some of them were brought to tears by Jackson’s speech. Taylor knew, with the popularity Jackson had, if anyone could do it, he’d be the man. He did have to wonder, though, how Jackson would deal with any kinds of gay issues, seeing as how he was disgusted by a gay guy, but he opted not to dwell on it. Maybe it was just him Jackson had the issue with and not gay people in general.
WITH only two games left in the regular season, the team was still undefeated, having notched only one close call. No matter how much he wanted to stay away, Taylor always found himself in the same spot each game. One moment he’d tell himself he simply wasn’t going to go to the game, but somehow he still found himself there before the first pitch was thrown. He was going to be really glad when baseball season was over. Perhaps then he could finally deal with his crush over a guy who couldn’t stand him. Maybe he’d actually be able to move on and get back to normal. Maybe pigs would fly too, but hope springs eternal.
The last game of the season finally rolled around. The team had already clinched the division and would be going to the state competition. The coach made the decision to put the guys who didn’t see much playing time during most of the season in for the final game. It was a tight game, but they still came out on top. A perfect season, division champs, the tournament trophy. Jackson was the golden boy. In fact, he was so high on top, Becca hadn’t dumped him at the end of the season like she normally would any other player. As long as Jackson’s star was rising, so was hers. Taylor had this recurring image of the two of them after high school, getting married, having 2.5 children and a dog named Bitsy. A big house. Jackson had a great-paying job, maybe a doctor. Becca would be the homemaker. They’d live happily ever after. And even though Taylor wished it could be the life he could have with Jackson, he still didn’t begrudge him—well, not much. He wanted him happy, even if it meant Becca got to be happy too. Of course Taylor also fantasized he was seeing Jackson on the side, but that was neither here nor there.
The Wisconsin State Baseball Spring Tournament Finals would be played at Fox Cities Stadium in Appleton. The team had made it through the quarter and semifinals with no problems. Jackson would be pitching for the final against Milwaukee King. Seeing as how it was a little more than a hundred miles away, Taylor wanted to set out early so he could stake out his usual spot. He’d asked Benny to come along but was told there was a science project due on Monday he needed to finish.
“You did do the project, right, Tay?” Benny groaned.
“Oh sure, of course. I had it done Friday,” Taylor hedged, trying to be as vague as possible since he didn’t even remember there was a project.
“Taylor, this is our year-end project. It counts for 50 percent of our grade. You have to make sure it’s done.”
Taylor was already calculating. If he made this trip, it would take him about two hours to get there and two hours to get home. The game would last a couple of hours. There just wasn’t any way he’d be able to pull off the project in time. He was so screwed.
“Benny, what kind of project are we supposed to do?” he asked quietly.
Benny sighed heavily. Taylor knew his friend was irritated because he’d let his priorities get so messed up. Benny had always pushed him to make sure he got his work done on time because, Benny said, he didn’t want to be going off to college alone, and Taylor had to come with him. Taylor knew he got decent grades, but if he bombed this science project he’d likely fail the course for the year, and that would affect his transcripts. Sure, he was only going to be a junior, but he needed to buckle down and pull up his GPA if he wanted to get into any school Benny would be going to, because his friend was like crazy smart.
“Look, it’s not that simple.” Benny gave an exasperated huff. “This project takes weeks to complete, man. You were supposed to be doing mold experiments: Do different types of bread grow different types of mold? Does temperature or light affect the growth of mold? This isn’t something you can do in two days.”
Taylor’s heart sank. He was toast and he knew it. He knew he’d been letting his schoolwork slide, but he had been so wrapped up in his obsession for Jackson it hadn’t really seemed to matter.
“I’m sorry, Benny. I screwed up big time. I’ll go to summer school to make up for this, I promise. I’ll talk with Mr. Dean on Monday morning.”
Benny rubbed the bridge of his nose, obviously trying to cover up his frustration. “You’re an idiot, Tay. A stone-cold, in-over-your-head idiot. You know that, right?”
“Yes,” Taylor replied weakly. He knew it, all right.
Benny let out a sigh. “I’m thinking the project I did for you should get you a B. Is that good enough?”
Taylor couldn’t believe he was hearing this right. “What? What are you talking about?”
“I did two projects, Tay,” Benny told him, his voice tight. “One for me, one for you. I’ve seen how you’ve been lately, and I knew you weren’t working on your project. I could get you an A, but I’m thinking Mr. Dean would realize it wasn’t your work.”
Taylor didn’t even have to consider the next words that came out of his mouth. “No, thank you. It’d be cheating and neither of us cheats,” he said with more confidence than he actually felt. “I’ll do the summer school and, hopefully, get my head on straight. I’m really sorry I put you in this position, Benny.”
“You gotta know I’d do it for you. I wouldn’t like it, but I’d do it. Because you’re important to me.” Benny sounded like he was stressed and having difficulty saying it.
Taylor met Benny’s gaze and wouldn’t look away. “That’s why I won’t let you do it, Benny. It would make you lose respect for me, and sometimes that’s all I have.”
“God, I swear… if you were a girl, you would so be mine,” Benny said quietly.
Taylor laughed. “You could always come over to the dark side, dude.”
“The thing is, sometimes, if I could, I think I’d do it just so I could be with you,” came the whispered answer.
Taylor had no reply. He knew his friend was serious, and he was humbled. Benny told Taylor he should go ahead and go to the game. Since he didn’t have the project, and there was no way for him to get it done (and despite Benny offering him the second project again, Taylor continued to refuse), he should try to enjoy the day.
The drive to Appleton wasn’t difficult. Pretty much a straight shot down Highway 41 to the stadium. The place was packed when Taylor arrived. He made his way to the bleachers and blanched when he saw Becca. He considered finding somewhere else to sit but decided there was no way he would let her run his life. He camped in his usual spot, watching Jackson warming up. He knew Jackson was a great pitcher, but today the man moved like quicksilver. One strong, fluid motion. It was breathtaking to see, and Taylor was drawn to sketch it. When the game commenced, Jackson did his usual: run out to the field, look to her, and give a smile and wave to the audience. Taylor groaned, wishing he could either talk with the man or just leave, but it wasn’t going to happen. He didn’t feel strong enough to do either. Maybe summer school would be good for him.
The game was a nail-biter. Jackson had held King scoreless, but their pitcher had done the same. In the bottom half of the ninth inning, Mitch Daniels hit a high, towering home run. It was a beautiful shot, and as soon as it cracked off the bat, everyone knew the game was over and the team had won their division. Screaming fans poured out onto the field, holding Mitch and Jackson on their shoulders. It was a great moment and one Taylor hoped to remember for the rest of his life. The looks on the team members’ faces was worth it. When they put Jackson down, he was immediately grabbed up by Becca, who hugged and kissed him on the side of the mouth. Taylor was glad to see Jackson succeed. After hearing about how difficult life was for Jackson with the constant moving around, Taylor was very pleased that maybe Jackson had finally found somewhere he might settle down. Taylor was so happy he didn’t even hate Becca… much.
MONDAY morning Taylor found his parents in the kitchen. He steeled himself before sitting down at the table.
“Mom? Dad? Can I talk with you for a couple minutes?” His palms got damp when his parents’ attention fixed on him.
“Of course, Taylor. What’s going on?” his mom asked.
Taylor sighed and pushed his palm against his eye. Better just get it over with….
“I’m going to be talking to Mr. Dean, my science teacher, today. I—um—didn’t do a project for him. It was a really important one, and without it I’m going to flunk the class. I’m going to be asking him to let me take the course for summer school.”
He watched his parents, trying to gauge their reaction. They were quiet for several moments as they considered his words.
“Why didn’t you do the project? What was going on that you couldn’t do it?” his mother demanded to know.
Taylor sucked in a breath. He couldn’t tell them about Jackson, but what other excuse could he possibly give them?
“I… I’ve been distracted by someone. I really like them, and I was trying to get them to notice me. It kinda messed up my priorities.” He glanced up at them, not wanting to meet their gaze. Finally his father spoke, his words measured.
“We’re glad you’ve accepted responsibility, Taylor. We’re very disappointed you let this happen, though. If it wasn’t for the fact you’re going to be doing summer school, you know there’d be a grounding in there, right?” his father told him in no uncertain terms.
“Yeah, Dad, I know. I’m really sorry,” Taylor replied. He looked down at the table as tears pricked his eyes. He could deal with the grounding, but to disappoint his parents really sucked.
His mom put her arms around him. “We still love you. You do know that, right? We want what’s best for you.”
He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
“Do you need us to come see Mr. Dean with you?” she asked, kissing his forehead.
Taylor straightened his back and looked her in the eye. “No thanks, Mom. I messed up, and I’m the one who’ll have to fix it. I appreciate it, though.”
His dad clapped him on the shoulder, and his mom hugged him. He felt a lot better when he headed off to school.
TAYLOR stood at the door to the classroom and saw Daryl Dean sitting at his desk. Mr. Dean was a big man, nearly as tall as Benny, with a barrel chest and booming voice. He was in his thirties, definitely handsome, with hazel eyes, sandy hair, and a goatee. Taylor always enjoyed his class. Mr. Dean referred to everyone as Mr. or Ms., never by his or her first name, something Taylor found somewhat charming. He knocked at the door to announce himself. “Mr. Dean? I was wondering if you had a minute?”
“Of course, Mr. Andrews. You’re here quite early,” Mr. Dean said, taking a peek at his watch. “What can I do for you?” he asked, obviously surprised to see anyone so early in the morning.
“I… I needed to talk to you about the project we have due. I didn’t get it done, sir.”
“I see. Was the assignment too difficult, Mr. Andrews?”
“No, sir. I failed to do it. I have no excuses. I was hoping to talk to you about making the class up during summer school, if I can?”
Mr. Dean stared at Taylor for a few moments. “Mr. Andrews, in all my years of teaching I’ve never had anyone approach me like this. I have to admit, I find it quite refreshing. I must say you’ve surprised me. This doesn’t happen often. Generally I get sob stories or people begging me for more time. You’ve shown a remarkable amount of maturity in coming to me. Up until today your work has been exemplary. You’ve maintained good grades and high standards at all times.”
He paused for a moment, ensuring he had Taylor’s attention. “While I can’t let you off the hook for this, I can, however, offer you an opportunity. You’ll be given additional time to finish your project; in return you’ll need to do something for me.”
Mr. Dean paused again. Taylor could see the man’s hands were beginning to shake, and his voice seemed choked with emotion. The teacher removed his glasses and swiped a hand across his eyes before he continued. “My son, Adrian… Addy, will be going to a summer camp for abused children. We adopted him when he was eight. He is sixteen now. His father… hurt him, badly, for more than two years, doing things that still cause Addy nightmares. Each year my son goes to this camp, they want the campers to talk to survivors of abuse, peer counselors, and other campers, but Addy never participates. Every year he comes back just as he was when he left. He’s never willing to let anyone in. They need volunteers for the summer, and I would appreciate it if you could be one of them. It would be a good volunteer opportunity and would look good on a college application. It probably won’t be easy. Addy is a wonderful kid, but very withdrawn.”
Taylor knew Mr. Dean was baiting him, trying to… not necessarily blackmail, but leverage him into going. Thing was, he only needed to ask.
“Mr. Dean, I’m happy to do it. It sounds like just the thing I need this summer. And I appreciate you giving me the time to finish the project,” Taylor said respectfully.
Mr. Dean gave Taylor the information he’d need to volunteer at the camp, located near the border of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. He’d leave at the end of June, giving him a couple of weeks to do his project, and he’d be gone for about two and a half months. When he saw Benny, he told him about what Mr. Dean had done, and Benny surprised him by offering to come along to help out.
“He’s right, you know. It would be good on a college application. And it’d give me time with my best friend. Win-win, I figure.”
Taylor looked around, saw no one in the area, and gave Benny a quick hug. He started to pull back when Benny grabbed him and held him tight.
“You’ll always be my bestie, Tay. Always.”
Taylor had to wipe his eyes quick before Benny let go. He must have gotten some dust in them or something, because they were watering like crazy.