SHE STARED AT HER ENTRY and took short, quick breaths through her nose. Impossible. But it had happened. The writing had changed. Hadn’t it? Those were her words, most of them, yes—but not all of them. Words had disappeared, a few replaced by new ones, in her handwriting, a few simply gone. How was that possible? Heat washed through her.
She squinted at the words.
I have power. I’m in control. I have choices.
I’ve been strong.
Help me, Lord. I believe I can do this.
God, if this really is you and you really are going to speak to me through it, I know you’ll show me.
This couldn’t be happening, could it? Her heart pounded as if she were running six-minute miles. Allison tried to steady her breathing. As she slowly got herself under control, she peered at the words again. It was impossible. But the professor’s words about Occam’s razor flashed into her mind, and she stopped the wrestling match in her mind.
“Is this really you, God?”
Allison shut the journal and glanced at her watch. Six ten. Had to start getting ready for work soon, but also had to talk to someone about the journal. Her mom might be up by now. She went to the guest bedroom and opened the door a crack. Her mom sat in the small chair in the corner of the room, staring at her laptop, wrapped in a shawl.
Allison knocked and her mom said, “Come in.”
She eased into the room, journal behind her back.
Her mom glanced up but didn’t say anything.
“What are you doing?”
“Watching a documentary called The History of the Eagles. It’s good.”
Her mom’s voice was flat.
“You don’t have to watch it in your room.”
“I know, but sometimes I want to give you your space. I’m sure you miss the peace and quiet of morning time.”
Her mom turned up the volume on the laptop.
“Mom, I want to talk about the journal. Something just happened that’s beyond bizarre, and I’m not sure what to do, but I do know I need to get some answers. Right now.”
“Did you know Don Henley used to live right above Jackson Browne? And that Jackson Browne gave the song ‘Take It Easy’ to the Eagles?”
“No, I didn’t.” Allison stepped farther into the room. “Mom, please, you have to listen to me. Something weird just happened with the journal. Like, off the charts.”
“Okay.” She paused the show and set the laptop aside. “Go ahead.”
“Are you all right?”
“Sure. Just tired.”
Allison wiggled the journal. “I wrote in it last night.”
“Really?” Her mom motioned for Allison to sit down. “How was that for you?”
“At the time it was good. It felt right. A little strange, but that might have been my imagination. But this morning it turned into more than my imagination.”
“What happened?”
“I went back to read what I wrote and the writing had changed.”
“What?”
“Not a lot, a few words. Replaced by different words. And some words vanished completely.”
“I told you,” her mom muttered. “This is God. The hand of God is writing in your journal.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Yes, you do. I can see it in your eyes. With your heart you’ve already accepted it. Soon you will with your mind as well.”
The words were right, but the pace of her mom’s voice was at half speed, and her tone had grown more somber.
“What’s going on, Mom?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“I need to send a payment off today, and I don’t have the money.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“I suspected.” Allison gritted her teeth. “You have to stay on top of this, Mom.”
“Yes, yes, I know I do.” She sighed. “But right now—”
“Right now you’re going to relax because I’ve been working on it. I applied for a home equity loan and it should be finalized soon. I couldn’t get a lot. I don’t have much equity in this house, but if the loan comes through we can get this payment and next month’s taken care of, then have some in reserve. And by that time my partnership will be finalized and I’ll be making plenty every month.”
“But I need to send it today. It has to get to them in five days, and the mail can be slow sometimes.”
“As soon as the loan comes through, we can transfer the money. We won’t need to mail it. You know how to do that?”
“Yes.” She glared at Allison. “I’m not a Luddite.”
“Why don’t you just let me take care of it?”
“No, this is my debt. I need to handle it.”
Allison stood and slowly backed out of the room as she watched her mom pick up her laptop to start the show again. But before she did, she turned to Allison and said, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to work, and then I’m going to call on the loan, and then I’m going to find out what this journal is. And where it came from.”
“How are you going to do that?”
Before her mom finished the question, Allison knew exactly what she needed to do.
“I’m going to go see Parker.”
She needed to talk to him about the journal. He’d be fascinated by the idea God was writing in it. Didn’t matter that Parker wasn’t sure God existed. He wouldn’t think she was crazy. Or he might. But if anyone could give her a theory on where the journal came from and what it was, it would be Parker. “A student and scholar of hallowed iniquities,” he called himself.
“Parker? How would you do that when you don’t know where he is?”
“I don’t know. But if God is leading this strange dance, then he’s going to have to show me some new moves.”
The new move arrived within days.