The infertility journey can seem long, hopeless, and out of our control. Between friends, family, doctors, and society telling us the odds are slim to none that we will get pregnant, let alone have a healthy baby, it feels almost impossible to have confidence in our capability. We rebel against our body for not doing what we think it should, and we push and force out of fear, only to keep going around in circles.
Typical fertility treatments look only at the uterus. But you’re not a uterus with feet. You’re a person who has relationships, a career, past experiences, etc., that all inform who you are. Most of us aren’t taught the skills to fully process these issues, so things get stored in our bodies for years.
It’s so painful to think that the thing we want most in the world might be out of reach and we can’t control it. But the great news is that you can take some power back in this situation. For some of you, it’ll be hard to consider anything other than medical or nutritional intervention, and that’s okay! But looking at the whole picture—external factors, beliefs, physical conditions, and where you’re putting your energy—can make the difference. Some of these things may not seem directly related to your fertility, but I promise you they are. The things outlined in this book are action steps you can take to empower yourself on this journey. Here are some of my previous clients’ questions about entering into this kind of work.
Q: There’s no guarantee that I’ll become pregnant with your technique, so why should I consider this approach?
A: Well, first I would say you’re absolutely right: there’s no guarantee. I’m not sure what is guaranteed in this life, other than death and taxes, as they say. But if you want to look at the odds, the average IUI success rate is 8 to 20 percent, the IVF success rate is 25 to 50 percent, and my current success rate with my private clients is 66 percent. Not only is the success rate with my approach higher, but it’s also not at all physically invasive.
Q: Isn’t it costly and time-consuming to do this type of approach first?
A: You’d be surprised at how inexpensive it is, considering the alternatives. IUI can be about $1,200 per round, with multiple rounds expected, costing on average $4,800, and IVF can range from $15,000 to $20,000 per round. Many people go through more than one round of this as well, costing upward of $40,000. Working with me costs a fraction of that. Besides the financial costs, we also want to look at the physical and emotional costs of invasive treatments and a prolonged, agonizing journey of feeling like you’re trying everything and nothing is working. As you read earlier in the book, there’s always an emotional cause to the physical problem, so the sooner we deal with that, the sooner you can move through the situation. So these concepts and techniques are anything but time-consuming or a waste of time. They’re actually what will clear up this problem for good, and their effects will ripple out to every other area of your life.
Q: You say you do energy work with your clients. What does that mean? Is it a religion? How does it help? How can you do it over the phone?
A: I use distance reiki to clear and shift your energy. It has nothing to do with religion, and there’s no dogma you must subscribe to to receive the benefit. The only requirement is that you’re open to healing yourself. Clients report feeling warmth, tingling, twitching, and deep relaxation. As I am doing this work, I am receiving intuitive “hits” in each area. These are seemingly inane visuals with feelings attached to them that let me know what’s going on subconsciously with the person—from beliefs they’re carrying or traumas they thought they’d dealt with to behavior or external factors that need to shift. From there, we employ the mindset coaching—we speak about what I picked up, where it resonates for you, and how we move forward.
Q: So do you fix the problem with the energy work and then I get better?
A: Um, no. This is not a situation where I wave a magic wand and you’re cured. This is a highly cooperative process, and your participation in it is paramount. There is homework for you to do in between sessions that is key in moving forward. It is also of the utmost importance that you be willing to delve into issues you thought you’d already dealt with, as well as be open to releasing what’s no longer serving you. I often liken the situation to this: In front of my client there are two doors, Door A and Door B. She wants to go through Door A, so I show her the door, give her the tools to go through it, open the door, and tell her to go ahead. But she bangs her head on Door B. Repeatedly. So I can do energy work and mindset coaching up the wazoo, but it’s ultimately up to you to decide to walk through the door. A lot of people don’t want that responsibility, but the ones who crack this are the ones who are empowered by the idea that they have the power to shift their situation.
Q: All of this sounds a bit “New Agey.” How does mindset end up affecting the body? I don’t understand how that could work. Is there any research to back up your findings?
A: Various cultures and practices, from Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurvedic medicine to Edgar Cayce, Louise Hay, and Dr. Daniel Amen, have documented the correlation between the mind and its effect on the body. There is also what’s known as the Law of Psychophysical Response, which states that for every thought there is a correlating physical reaction. If we’re having stressful thoughts, our body has a stressful reaction. This can include slowing down the endocrine and reproductive systems. But evidence shows that when these thoughts are replaced with positivity and relief, the body relaxes and resumes normal functioning because it’s no longer in fight-or-flight mode.
An Israeli study led by Professor Eliahu Levitas and presented at a 2004 European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology conference in Berlin concluded that the success rate of fertility treatments doubled when the women were exposed to mindfulness, meditation, and hypnosis (see http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3849727.stm). Dr. Alice Domar in the US published a research study in 2011 that found that among the women in the study who were previously “infertile” and used a mind-body approach, 55 percent of them were able to conceive naturally (see “Impact of a Group Mind/Body Intervention on Pregnancy Rates in IVF Patients,” www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21496800). And I’ve seen it in my practice, where 66 percent of my clients are conceiving naturally by shifting their energy and mindset. It’s a matter of stepping aside from the fears and beliefs that haven’t been serving you and deciding that you can do this. I am wowed every day in my practice seeing women uncover and move through their blocks and be rewarded with their own little munchkin. There’s no dogma you have to believe. This isn’t a religion. It’s about you being open to releasing what no longer serves you, and knowing that you can do this. Despite there being an energy component to this work, my clients will tell you that I approach it from a pretty practical standpoint and everything has a reason and an application.
Q: What’s the benefit of working with a mentor?
A: It took me a long time to realize that I can’t do everything myself. As long as I’ve been in this holistic field, you’d think I’d be able to see all of my own sh— … er … blocks. But we can’t see our own stuff. I have a mentor who keeps me on track as well. You, through no fault of your own, are in the middle of your own stuff, so you need an outside perspective. But not just anyone. Someone who has the training to work with numerous types of infertility as well as guide you to work through the mental/emotional causes of it. Even if it’s hard for you to wrap your head around that concept right now, if you’ve tried everything to fix the problem that’s keeping you up at night and it isn’t working, don’t you owe it to yourself to try?
Q: I don’t have time—I’m too busy.
A: Aren’t we all? I’ve been there. That’s the great thing about the phone sessions. We work around your schedule and you don’t have to go anywhere. There’s no worrying about traffic, parking, or making it home on time. It’s done on an agreed schedule based on your availability. If you’re saying you don’t have enough time, chances are it means you’re not making enough time for yourself. And that needs to change. As you read earlier in the book, if your brain thinks you’re spread too thin, it doesn’t want to add another thing for you to take care of. Believe it or not, your busy schedule is contributing to the ailment that brought you to me in the first place. You deserve this little munchkin. So make time for yourself.
Q: I can’t afford it.
A: Listen, this one I can empathize with. I know that in this economy it’s tough to feel like you’re throwing money toward something that’s not a “necessity.” I get it. It’s not food, clothing, or rent. But I have to tell you that where you are is a reflection of what’s going on inside. We have no problem spending money to buy clothes and gadgets we don’t need to fill some void we can’t pinpoint. We spend money on fertility treatments like IUI, which even with insurance can be $400 to $1,200 per round, and IVF, which can be $15,000 to $20,000 per round, not to mention therapy, physical therapy, hormone treatments, pain medications, and the list goes on. And they all treat symptoms. We need to get to the cause—the root. And I can help you do that. Can you put a price on naturally conceiving the baby you thought you couldn’t have? (And trust me, this is a hell of a lot cheaper than fertility treatments!) Once you achieve this, the benefits will ripple out exponentially to all areas of your life. See the Results page at www.FusionFertility.com to read stories of people who have been through it and got better results than they could imagine. You can do this and I am so excited to help guide you.
Q: I’ve done everything to get pregnant. Why would this approach work?
A: I would bet that the other approaches you’ve tried have not involved looking at your beliefs and mindset. As we’ve discussed throughout this book, what you’re believing and where you’re putting your energy matter. Your outcome is directly related to how you approach the situation. Many times we take on the beliefs of doctors, family, and society that we are too old and are running out of time, etc., or even our own beliefs that we should be pregnant by now, or that getting pregnant is hard. And when this “app” is running in the background, it’s diverting so much energy from you moving forward toward what you want. So none of these methods will work until your mindset shifts. Most of the world isn’t aware that mindset is a factor in fertility, and even fewer know how to address it. Once you shift these things, the benefits ripple out to every area of your life and open your energy and your body to receiving what you want.
If you feel like you want some individualized attention as part of the next step in your journey, you can visit www.FusionFertility.com to find out about my programs. I work with my private clients to clear their energy, uncover blocks, hold them accountable for patterns, and support them like nobody’s business to help them achieve what they’re wanting most.
This approach would be helpful for you if you
You have more control in this process than you’ve been led to believe. And I’d love to help you on your way to conceiving naturally on your terms.
In the meantime, brava for taking an energetic step toward what you deserve! Take what you can from this book to make some shifts. There are so many things you can do to move yourself forward, and this gives you a good place to start.
I wish you all the best on your journey. Know that you can do this, mama.