SHE STARED FIXEDLY OUT OF THE WINDOW AS THE countryside swept by, trying to tune out her siblings. She had been looking forward to spending time with Nick on holiday, sort of scared but excited, and now she couldn’t think of anything worse. She couldn’t rid herself of the image of Nick kissing and fumbling in the shadows with, of all people, Rosa. And she wasn’t the only one who had seen; so had all her friends.
Her father kept glancing at her in the mirror. He did it every bloody five minutes. Honestly, what had it got to do with him? But at least he knew she existed. Her mother was oblivious. She wouldn’t notice if her eldest daughter was dying, let alone at a crisis point in her life.
Why had she boasted to Rosa like that? Snap my fingers and he’ll come running. God. She felt sick to her stomach. She had never felt anything like this before. She didn’t think she would ever get over the humiliation. All she could do was stalk off with her head held high, but she had been followed by Rosa, who ran after her insisting that it wasn’t what she thought.
‘And anyway,’ Rosa had said. ‘You told me you weren’t into him.’
No doubt she had relayed the whole thing to everyone by now. They would all be laughing behind her back.
‘Are you looking forward to seeing Pansy and Freya?’ Izzy asked.
Taisie dragged her gaze from the window. ‘You’ve asked me that, like a million times.’
‘Sorry.’
‘You’re not to be a pain and follow us around.’
Izzy scowled. ‘I don’t see why you have to keep them all to yourself.’
‘Because we’re fifteen and we need to be able to talk about things that you’re too young to hear.’
‘But that’s not fair. I’m not a child.’
‘Yes you are.’
Izzy went puce. ‘I am not!’
‘Whatever.’
She did actually feel sorry for Izzy. Her sister was past the point where she wanted to play with their little brothers, but she wasn’t mature enough to hang out with Taisie and the Moody twins. She could always tag along after Nick. That would serve him right.
The thought of him dragged her all over again into that dark, hot well where her feelings were churning. She would never, ever forgive Nick Ritchie; not for as long as she lived.
She released a long sigh. Her father glanced at her – again – and she shot him a filthy look. His eyes smiled but she wasn’t interested. Her mother reached between the front seats and took Izzy’s outstretched hand.
‘All right back there?’ she said.
Why was it always Izzy who got the sympathy? When they got in last night, after dropping Rosa and Nick home, her mum had yawned and gone up to bed. It wasn’t that Taisie wanted to confide in her, or anything, but she could at least have noticed that she was unhappy. It had taken a huge effort not to cry, but Taisie was sure it showed. Her eyes stung so they must have been red.
The drive home had been totally weird. Nick got into the front even though it was Taisie’s car, leaving her to sit in the back with Rosa. Rosa was all sweet and caring, telling her how much she was going to miss Taisie while she was away, and how she was her best friend. And she kept looking at Taisie worriedly, and oh God, it was so false and put on. Nick talked to her mum, banging on about films he rated. He looked at her only once, in the rear-view mirror; a questioning look, wanting to know if they were all right. Well, they weren’t.
Rory leaned forward and put his sticky hands around her head, blindfolding her.
‘Get off!’
He laughed and let her go.
‘What is the matter, Taisie?’ her dad said. ‘For Christ’s sake, cheer up. You’ve had a face like thunder all morning.’
‘I bet Taisie kissed a boy,’ Alex teased. ‘And he ran away.’
‘Fuck off, you moron.’
‘That’s enough!’ her mother said and slapped her on the leg.
It stung, but Taisie welcomed it. It interrupted her misery, shot it through with energy. She sighed loudly then turned back to the window, put her earphones in and blocked the lot of them. She was not going to let Nick get away with this.