IT WAS THE END OF THE FOURTH DAY; AN AFTERNOON spent lounging around with the Moody twins talking about boys, gossiping and sunbathing, exhausted by an enforced cycle ride that morning. The adults banged on about how beautiful it was, but scenery was so not her thing. She’d seen it before. She knew Izzy was breaking the Nick rules whenever she could, but it was too hot to get worked up about it.
Secretly, what Taisie liked about those balmy evenings was the temporary cessation of hostilities between her and Nick, with him restored to visibility by the presence of their parents. It was bittersweet. Sometimes, when he looked unhappy, he reminded her of when they were younger. She wished she hadn’t started this stupid game, because it was making her miserable, but she couldn’t stop it, not without losing face. She wanted her friend back. Unfortunately she had probably pissed him off so thoroughly that he would never trust her again.
Besides, what she had felt for Nick paled in comparison to how his father made her feel. She eyed Tim across the scented candles that had been placed around the table to discourage wasps. He was carving into his steak, cooked on the barbecue to perfection by Angus, his eyes bright as he laughed at something Lorna said. Taisie stared at him, wondering whether he could feel the electricity like she could, whether his senses were alert to her, and when he suddenly caught her eye she felt it like a lightning bolt. The fact that it was wrong made it all the more exquisite. This was the urgent, yearning side of love. Forbidden and taboo. It was OK to dream.
Taisie, Nick and the twins were allowed one small glass of wine each, because they were on holiday – no one realized the twins were used to alcohol. They’d told her that it was smuggled into their boarding school all the time, in soft-drink bottles, protected by ski socks wrapped in articles of school uniform. But as the adults drank more, they became less bothered, and didn’t notice that the kids were helping themselves.
Nick was pissed, Taisie could see that. She could also see that he was building up to something. To have a go at her, probably. He was sitting at the end of the table, with Izzy on his right and Pansy on his left. Taisie was sitting between Alex and Pansy with Freya opposite her, and Rory was at the other end with their mum because he was falling asleep.
Nick hadn’t spoken to Taisie all evening, concentrating his efforts on Pansy and Izzy and enjoying himself. Taisie pretended she didn’t care, but Pansy was flirting with him, batting her eyelashes and giggling like an idiot. Taisie narrowed her eyes. Izzy had a fit of giggles, spitting out her water, and Pansy rocked back in her chair and stretched her arms up behind her head. It was pretty overt, but Nick seemed not to notice. When Izzy got up to go to the loo, Taisie slipped into her place. Nick turned from Pansy and raised his eyebrows.
‘What do you want?’
‘Nothing.’ She chewed at her bottom lip. ‘Just wondering.’
‘I didn’t realize you had the capacity for thought.’
Pansy burst out laughing then shut up quickly at a killer look from Taisie.
‘You can talk.’
‘But apparently I can’t be heard,’ he retorted. Then he turned his back on her and put his bare feet up on the strut of Pansy’s chair.
Taisie’s eyes pricked with tears. She hated him.
The children tidied up after supper, the boys on washing-up duty while the girls cleared the table. Taisie made her way round to where Tim was sitting and let her hip lightly brush his arm as she leaned to take his plate. When she came back out, she plonked herself down on the vacated chair beside him and picked up a half-full glass of wine. Her mother stared at her until she caught her eye.
‘I think you can do without that, don’t you, darling?’ she said.
Taisie held the stem of the glass tightly and raised it to her lips. The wine had warmed and tasted horrible, but she drank it anyway.
‘For goodness’ sake, Taisie, don’t be so immature.’
‘Come on, Jess,’ Tim said. ‘Cut her some slack. We’re on holiday, and she’s practically an adult.’
Her mother softened, as she always did around Nick’s dad, behaving like a cat being stroked. Taisie pushed the glass away. It was late, and she felt drowsy. She stared at the moths flitting round the candles, then dropped her head on Tim’s shoulder. Through half-closed eyes, she saw both Nick and her mum watching. Good.
‘Sleepy, kiddo?’ Tim asked.
‘Mmm.’
‘Taisie,’ her mother said. ‘You haven’t finished clearing the table yet.’
There was an edge to her voice that made Taisie’s hackles rise, but she got up anyway and picked up the salad bowl, leaning across Tim to get at it. She swung her hips as she walked away, thinking of his eyes on her denim-covered bottom and tanned legs, but when she glanced over her shoulder he was leaning back so that he could talk to Sean behind Lorna Moody. It was her mother who was watching her.