Zanius was larger than normal, the gravity a bit stronger. The Dinias Nebula glowed across the sky, day and night. It surrounded the system on three sides, arms of gas clouds reaching out into space. They glowed soft pinks and purples with the occasional burst of green and yellow. Zanius had one other attractive feature. Its only inhabitants were scientists who didn't really care who we were as long as we didn't interfere with their observations, and the crew of a gas distillation plant who didn't care who we were as long as we had good stories to tell. Less than fifty people lived on the world.
Life had never developed on Zanius, not on its own. The oxygen atmosphere was a fluke that allowed people to live relatively normal lives. Radiation kept killing off whatever wasn't protected, though. Beyond the domed habitat, the vegetation was thin and scraggly, low grasses and bushes that eked out an existence. The only animals were insects that had stowed away on cargoes. They were few and far between.
I sat on the boarding ramp of the ship, hands dangling between my knees. Radiation levels were fairly low, and had been for over a week, so I was safe.
Mart stood not far away, scuffing his foot through a drift of powdery sand. We were the only two still at the ship. Lowell was off talking with the scientists, he knew several of them including the one heading up the project. Lydia, Marshal, Beryn, and Paltronis had gone to visit the canteen with the off shift at the distillation plant. Beryn had his cards. I expected him at least to come back richer than he left. He was mean with his cards.
We were waiting for Querran to make her appearance. Lowell expected her here, which meant she would be here. Sometime soon, I hoped. Time was passing.
I heard footsteps crunching over the gritty ground. Lowell came back with two of the scientists. They stopped at the end of the boarding ramp.
"Quite the pickle you're in, Grant," the older scientist said then laughed. It boomed and echoed on the quiet world. He had white hair that drifted in long tufts from his balding head. "You said you needed a geneticist and Hugh here is one of the best." He slapped the younger man on the back hard enough to rock him to the side. It wasn't difficult. Hugh was downright scrawny. He had dark hair that stuck up unevenly. His tunic was spotted with liquid. I didn't want to know what kind. "Bring him back before too long," the older man said in his loud voice.
"We won't need him long," Lowell said. "We may even be able to accomplish what we need right here. I've got pictures I want you to look at," he said to Hugh. "And papers. Tell me what they mean."
I got up and moved off the boarding ramp so they wouldn't have to step over me. All three of them went into the ship.
I wandered over to Mart and stared at the endless horizon. We were on a flat plain that stretched forever, undulating slowly up and down. Zanius had oceans, I'd seen them when we landed. They were huge, shallow, a bright turquoise green, and very far away. The breeze gusted, stirring up the dust as it passed.
"It's dead," Mart said. "I can't feel anything out there, no life at all. I feel like we're intruding."
"I just feel like doing something," I said shifting restlessly. Patience was never one of my virtues. I hated waiting.
"You could have gone to tell stories with the others," Mart said.
"I don't have any I can tell," I answered, a true enough reason though the real one was that I couldn't get more than a hundred feet away from Mart before the bond between us pulled me back again. And I wanted time away from the others. Paltronis and Beryn tried too hard to cheer me up. Mart just let me exist, accepting me totally and completely. As I had accepted him.
We watched the wind blow, fitfully stirring the few low shrubs that dotted the plain. The sun crept lower across the sky. Mart shifted his weight to his other foot.
"We could go to the garden," he said, referring to the patch of protected ground that they used to grow fresh produce and a few trees. One of the scientists was a gardener on the side.
"We could walk out there and never come back," I said, looking at the endless sweep of barren sand.
"It would get lonely," Mart said.
"And it wouldn't solve anything."
We lapsed into silence again. There was the occasional burst of talk from the ship, nothing that made sense to me.
"Are you going to find Tayvis?" Mart asked. "When all this is over."
I sighed. "I need him, Mart. I love him. It would kill me if he won't forgive me at least."
I sensed him withdraw from me, holding something back. It wasn't easy, not with the bond growing ever stronger between us. I didn't push, I didn't pry. I could have lied to Mart, but he would have known I was lying. We couldn't be anything less than completely honest with each other.
"And if he won't?"
I met his gaze then and understood what he was asking.
"There's too much pain between us. It would never work."
"We're tied, for life."
"I know."
"Have you thought what that means? How are you going to deal with it once the crisis is over?"
"How are you?"
"I need you. I'll always be there, an arm's length away. Is that how you want to live the rest of your life? Or do you want something more? I can promise to always forgive you." He looked away, across the endless sand. "I've heard of people bonding who didn't marry, but that was because they were brother and sister. It only happened once that I know of. The ones who tried couldn't fight the bond between them. They were miserable until they quit fighting it. It's inevitable."
"What about my choice? What if I don't want to live your life?" I stepped away, only a pace, and wrapped my arms around myself. I didn't want to live as the other half of a whole. I wanted to be me, to be myself.
"I could love you, if you wanted me to," Mart said softly.
"I could have loved you, too, if things had been different. I don't like being forced into it."
"I don't like it either, but that's what happened." He walked away, his footsteps heavy and loud in the silence.
He went to the domed garden to sit in solitude. It was about as far as he could get before the bond would pull us back together again. I fought it as long as I could, standing in the fitful breeze and watching the nebula drift overhead. I couldn't fight it long. The bond drew me across the gritty landing field towards the garden dome. I managed to stay outside, sitting on a weathered bench and watching the sun set. I could feel Mart not far away, brooding.
Lowell came out of the ship with the two scientists. The younger one clutched a sheaf of paper. They talked excitedly, heads bent over the papers as they walked. They passed by me, not far away. Lowell dropped out and stopped, cocking his head to study me. The two scientists didn't even notice he wasn't with them anymore. Their excited chatter faded as they entered the main living dome.
"Something else wrong?" Lowell asked.
"Nothing's wrong, Lowell, everything is just peachy," I said bitterly.
"You're not armed, are you? I wouldn't want to be hurt." He sat on the far end of the bench. "Want to tell me what it is this time?"
"Why do you care what personal problems I have? As long as it doesn't interfere with my piloting skills, it isn't your problem." I turned away from him.
He let silence fall between us. The sun set. The light curdled into bloody reds. I smelled something cooking.
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life with Mart," I said.
"No one said you had to," Lowell answered.
"You said there was no way to break the bond between us."
"It doesn't mean—"
"Yes, it does, Lowell. I can't get more than a hundred feet from him before the bond drags me back. Maybe it's a good thing I shot Tayvis. Better that I break his heart that way than this way."
"I see," he said in a subdued voice. "I'm sorry, Dace, but it isn't my fault this time."
"It's no one's fault. It wouldn't matter anyway. I'm tired of feeling guilty, even if most of the guilt is Mart's."
Lowell patted my hand. "We've been invited to dinner with the scientists."
"I don't want to go. I can't understand half of what they say."
"You want to sit with Mart and brood and feel sorry for yourself?" He stood and pulled me to my feet. "You aren't going to. Where is Martin?"
"In there," I said pointing at the garden dome.
"You're both coming and you're both going to enjoy yourselves. Or I might shoot you myself. Save Paltronis the trouble."
He dragged me into the garden dome. Carefully tended rows of plants radiated out from the center. Three trees grew near the center, hanging over the bench where Mart brooded. Lowell stopped in front of Mart.
"Enough of this," Lowell said. "Get up, Martin. Enough guilt, no one blames you. At least I don't anymore. We're going to find a way to work this out, all of it, including whatever is between the two of you. But tonight, you are not going to dampen everyone's mood. You are going to smile and eat dinner and enjoy yourselves. Am I clear?"
Lowell looked comical. He had one finger poised in the air and a prim expression on his face. Mart caught my amusement. He flicked a glance at me and added his own. I couldn't help it, I smiled. Half a smile that wasn't really happy, but still a smile.
"There has to be a way, Mart," I said, knowing he'd understand what I meant.
He nodded agreement and acceptance. I'd offered him what I could, he'd offered me more, a lot more, that I wasn't ready to even consider. Not until I knew for certain that Tayvis was out of my life. I didn't want to accept that, not yet.
We went to dinner. The food was good, although I understood less than one word in ten of the conversations. Mart and I both made an effort, feeding each other happier feelings until I could smile and mean it. I felt the pain sliding away, burying it deep for now. Later I'd have time to dig it up and deal with it. Along with everything else in my life I hadn't dealt with yet. I caught Lowell watching me more than once. He would be there, to help me pick up the pieces of my soul and fit them back together again. He'd done it before. He'd do it again. He raised his glass in a silent salute to me.
"These papers are fascinating," Hugh said as the dirty dishes were being cleared away. Most of the conversation over dinner had focused on current projects. Hugh hadn't said much, his nose buried in the papers Lowell had given him. "Using vacuum assisted transduction of the gracile pairing structure is a stroke of genius."
"In layman's terms, please," Lowell said. "What do they mean?"
Hugh blinked, surprised that what he said wasn't perfectly clear to everyone present. "It's a technique for transferring genetic sequences."
"Why?" Lowell interrupted what promised to be a long explanation that would only make sense to a geneticist. "What are they referring to in these papers?"
"Cloning techniques," Hugh said as if it were obvious. "Ways to introduce partial genetic structures into a different organism without altering its speciation. Altering the genome to include the new information without creating a new species." He leaned forward on the table, warming up to the topic. "Usually, cloning involves inserting complete genetic material into an egg and letting nature take its course after that. An embryo growing in normal conditions and for all purposes, indistinguishable from its original. Many bacterium use the process to reproduce, natural cloning. It's done routinely with plants, remove the germ from the seed and insert the one you want. Makes it easier to grow certain species under adverse conditions. Cloning of animals is attempted, but the benefits are few for all but the simplest species and even then, it's cheaper and easier to just breed them.
"But this, this is a new technique. Swapping genes in fully formed organisms. The possibilities are mind boggling."
"Such as?" Lowell prompted.
"Oh?" Hugh thought for a moment, his fingers worrying the edges of the papers. "Say you have a plant, like a tomato." He lifted one from a bowl on the table to show us. "A whole field of them and they only produce small tomatoes but you want big ones. Instead of having to grow a whole new crop, you just use this process to insert genes for bigger tomatoes. Inject the plants with it and you have a whole field of supersized tomatoes from small tomato plants."
"Why?" I asked. "Why not just grow big tomatoes in the first place?" They ignored me.
"What about animals?" Lowell asked.
"I know more about plants," Hugh said. "Using this technique you could have tomatoes that grow apples, or carrots, or anything. And they would still be tomato plants." He beamed.
"Mutant vegetables," Mart whispered to me. "Did you see that vid? Attack of the giant green bean." He walked a bean across the table. I laughed. The scientists looked at me. I stifled it.
"What about animals?" Lowell persisted.
"You could change the color of a sheep's wool if you wanted," Hugh said. "You couldn't change it into another animal, they aren't as adaptable as plants, but you could change an adult animal a bit. The long term effects might be devastating. It would probably adversely affect the viability of the offspring."
The possibilities of what Hugh said were beginning to sink into my brain. I wasn't laughing now. I caught Lowell's eye and knew he'd figured it out. You didn't have to raise an army of psychics, not if you could inject an existing army with the genes for powerful psychic powers.
"There's one major drawback," Hugh said. "You would need lots of genetic material to make this work. It wouldn't be very practical. Fascinating work. I would like to meet the geneticist who wrote this."
"I'll see if I can arrange that," Lowell said.
That was why they'd raided Jericho, to get genetic material in quantity. I felt sick. I knew Mart felt the same way.
"Dessert," the lead scientist announced as a large cart was wheeled in.
Beryn came in as they were serving it. He accepted a serving of the gooey chocolate cream. He took a bite and made a fuss over the woman who'd cooked it. I could barely make myself eat it, even if it was chocolate. I was sickened by the possibilities of the genetic research.
"They just spotted a ship," Beryn said. "You expecting a Patrol hunter? The Avenger?"
"That would be Querran," Lowell said, standing up from the table. "Thank you for your generous hospitality," he said to the table at large. "And for the delicious food. And thank you, Hugh, for interpreting the papers for me. You've been most helpful."
"Any time, Grant," the head scientist said. "You should visit more often."
"I'll try, Luther, I really will."
We headed back to the ship. Beryn stayed behind to eat his dessert and flirt with the chef.