Chapter 15

My question was answered with complete silence. Mike simply stared at me. Then he gulped.

Finally he said, “There’s a bunch of guys named Bob. It’s a pretty common name.”

“I mean the one you threatened a couple of weeks ago,” I said.

Dolly gave a little gasp and stared at Mike.

“Did I threaten anyone?” Mike’s eyes got squinty, and he looked at me sideways. “I don’t remember doing that.”

“This happened in the Warner Pier Rest-Stop, during the coffee club. Your phone rang, and you left the table to answer it. But all of us could still hear you.”

Mike ducked his head over his pizza. “I couldn’t have been serious, Lee.” He took a big bite of salad.

“I don’t think you were serious, Mike. But it sounded as if you were talking to somebody who owed you money.”

Mike swallowed. “I guess he paid up. Because I’ve forgotten the whole episode.”

“It was pretty dramatic,” I said. “You said, ‘I’ll be over to see you . . . and I’m not bringing a lawyer.’ ”

Joe cleared his throat, then jumped into the conversation. “Mike, I always wonder where you come up with some of the colorful things you say.”

“Everybody in my family talks a little crazy, Joe. I just repeat the things I grew up with.”

“I guess we all do that,” Joe said. “I had an uncle who used to mix up old sayings. He’d say, ‘I’ll do that even if it harelips the dog,’ instead of the usual ‘harelips the queen,’ for example. And, Lee, I always wondered where you got that phrase you use sometimes: ‘Each to his own taste, as the old maid said when she kissed the cow.’ ”

“My Texas grandmother used to say it, Joe. She said she got it from her grandmother.”

The subject was successfully changed. Joe had flipped the topic of conversation, subtly taking Mike off the hot seat.

But I still did not know who Bob was. Mike had not answered my question. And I was not buying his claim that he didn’t remember talking to Bob. In the Warner Pier Rest-Stop, in front of the whole coffee club.

But I shut up. For the moment. Apparently this was what Joe wanted me to do, and I trusted his judgment.

I’d ask why later.

I was still worried about Watt, of course. Then our not-very-happy gathering was interrupted by a knock at the front door.

Immediately, the four of us went into lockdown. Mike and Dolly tiptoed for the stairwell at quick march. Joe headed for the door, and I grabbed two place settings off the table, trying to make it look as if only two people had been eating.

I was throwing the paper plates away when I heard Joe. “Alex! Nice to see you. What brings you over?”

“I had an unexpected meeting, Joe.”

I heard footsteps, and I looked out into the living room. Alex Gold was moving inside from the front porch. “I ran into someone I think you know.” He gestured behind himself. I almost expected to hear him give a loud “Ta-da!”

And Watt stepped into the house.

Talk about excitement. “Watt!” Joe yelled. Dolly and Mike rushed in from their hiding place. I shouted. There was yelling, cheering, dancing, jumping—if our ceiling wasn’t too low, I’d swear somebody did a cartwheel. I think I contributed a high kick and maybe shook a few imaginary pom-poms. Watt was hugged and kissed and escorted to the table, where he was offered pizza, iced tea, hot tea, coffee, ice cream, and, of course, bonbons. Dolly burst into tears. That made me cry.

It took several minutes before Joe whistled. “Quiet!” he yelled. “Does Hogan know he’s here?”

“Well, no,” Watt said.

Joe grabbed the phone and called Hogan while Dolly and I asked if Watt and Alex had eaten. Thank goodness we hadn’t finished off the pizza.

Then the sirens began to sound. Three patrol cars showed up. Hogan jumped out of the first one and ran into the house. He pounded Watt on the back.

Watt smiled, but his eyelids drooped and he didn’t have anything to say. He sat quietly, so quietly I wondered if he was fully conscious.

Gradually, everything calmed down. Hogan ran off the extra patrolmen, Watt and Alex were given food and drink—always Dolly’s first priority—and Hogan asked the key question.

“Watt, where have you been?”

Watt looked at him without expression. “Chief, I was downtown, and I met Mr. Gold. But I don’t know how I got there.”

Hogan patted his shoulder. “I believe you need to be checked out by a doctor.”

Watt looked at him narrowly. “Maybe so,” he said. “Maybe so. I sure seem to have lost a day.”

That put a damper on our excitement.

Mike was crushed and sure he had taken proper care of Watt. He kept saying, “But he seemed to be doing fine.” Hogan kept saying this was merely a precaution, and Dolly announced that a bowl of chicken soup would probably fix Watt right up. I tried to keep my mouth shut, though I remember telling Joe, “He just seems to be confounded—I mean, confused!”

Hogan called an ambulance to take Watt back to the hospital for observation. But Watt told him he didn’t really need to go.

“I’d talk if I knew anything about today,” he said.

“Mike says he picked you up at the hospital yesterday evening,” Hogan said. “Do you remember that?”

“Oh, sure. We went to a cottage he owns out on the lakeshore. Around Pilot’s Point.”

“What time did you get there?”

“About nine. I went to bed pretty soon after.”

Mike nodded, agreeing with Watt’s account. Watt continued. “I still felt pretty rocky. Bad headache. But I slept okay. I had a prescription. I got up around seven this morning.”

“And?” Hogan was as deadpan as Watt.

“And nothing. Mike made eggs.”

“You didn’t eat them,” Mike said.

“Those eggs were fine, Mike. I’m just not much of an egg eater.”

Hogan nodded. “So you told Mike you’d rather have cereal.”

“Well, yeah, Hogan. We all have our favorite foods, I guess. I felt pretty crummy, because of my head. And I like shredded wheat for breakfast.”

“So you really wanted shredded wheat, and there wasn’t any. Mike went to get you some cereal and milk. He also planned to pick up Dolly. He says you promised to stay at his house while he was gone.”

Watt frowned deeply. “That’s the part I don’t remember, Chief. After he left, I had a cup of tea and then went back to bed. Just laid down in my clothes. Then I did go someplace, but I don’t know how. It’s like I was kidnapped.”

Hogan didn’t react to that. “Do you remember where you went?”

Watt thought hard. “Up on the roof . . . someone’s roof somewhere.”

“Why?”

“Well . . . could I have been lookin’ for my truck, Chief?”

“Do you remember I told you we moved it to your house after you were injured?”

“I remember that now. Oh! And I remembered then, too, after a while. I started walking along one of those eastbound streets. But it’s a long way from Mike’s cottage to my house, out in the woods. So I started thumbin’ a ride every time a car came along. Course, nobody stopped for me. So I finally stopped and leaned against a building.” He shook his head gently, holding it as if it might fall off if he let go. Then his face brightened. “And somebody stopped to pick me up.” His face lit up. “It was that Mr. Gold. The one who brought me here.”

And that’s where the story ended. Alex Gold said he had been climbing into his car when he saw Watt standing on the street, looking confused. Alex knew Watt because he had dickered with him about catching the raccoon in his shop’s attic.

The Warner Pier PD was closed after five o’clock, and Alex didn’t want to call 9-1-1 about Watt. So he put Watt into his car and brought him to our house simply because he knew we were friendly with him.

The ambulance came, and we all assured Watt that he was going to be okay. As the EMTs took Watt’s vital signs, Joe tried to ask a couple of questions. “Watt, how did you get on the roof at Van’s Shoes?” But Watt looked at him blankly and didn’t answer.

“Watt!” Joe said. “Did you climb up on the roof? Or did someone, well, put you up there?”

Watt clutched at Joe’s hand. “Mike?” he said. “Where’s Mike?”

I looked around, and for the first time I realized that Mike and Dolly had disappeared. I spoke quietly to Joe. “Where did they go?”

Joe murmured in my ear. “Hogan sent them back into hiding.”

The EMTs were closing up the ambulance when Bill Vanderwerp came running down the lane toward our little group.

“Hogan!” Bill seemed quite upset, waving for the ambulance to wait. “I’m not pressing charges against Watt! You can’t arrest him!”

“Charge him with what?” Hogan asked.

This question seemed to confuse Bill completely. He muttered something about his roof, but when Hogan replied with more questions, Bill turned away, frowning.

Hogan assured Bill that Watt wasn’t under arrest, simply headed to the hospital to check on his memory lapse. This seemed to cause Bill more confusion. He didn’t look convinced about the wisdom of that action. He continued, speaking somewhat frantically. “Listen! Watt didn’t do one thing to harm anything at the store. He didn’t even eat anything. I don’t want to press charges!”

Hogan assured Bill that he understood and that the hospital was for Watt’s benefit.

“If you don’t want to sign a complaint, Bill, this should be a short stay. But Watt’s memory seems to be all messed up. The doctors need to figure out what’s wrong. Then Watt will be released.”

Bill still looked worried. “I feel terrible about this,” he said. “I can’t believe that Watt is the break-in artist who’s been causing all this nuttiness.”

His remark left me feeling astonished. “Bill!” I said. “I’ve heard some crazy gossip around this town, but that one takes the cake. Do you mean somebody suspected Watt of being one of the Cookie Monsters?”

Bill had the grace to look ashamed. “Well . . . well, I guess people were just trying to figure out who was new in town.”

“Honestly!” I said. “On Tuesday they think Watt was attacked by the Cookie Monsters, and on Wednesday they think he’s one of them!”

Joe whispered in my ear, “I could kiss you.”

I whispered back, “Later, guy. But what brought that on?”

“The way you stick up for your friends always turns me on.”

I was still fuming when Bill slunk away. But I was partly fuming at myself. What if Bill was right? What did I know about Watt? What did anybody know about Watt? He was a stranger to Warner Pier. What if those of us who liked him—Mike, Joe, Mike Herrera, Lindy, and even T. J.—were wrong?

Watt began waving his arms vigorously and making crazy beckoning motions—in my direction. One of the EMTs was about to close the ambulance’s door, but I jumped over to the opening and stood there, blocking him.

“Hey, Watt!” I said. “Did you want to tell me something?”

“Lee, I don’t know how long they’re going to keep me. Could you and Mrs. Nettie go to my house and clean out the refrigerator? Please?”

Then he clutched my hand and spoke softly. “And make sure the trash is out.”