Max heard a step and looked up from his desk. A stranger stood in the open doorway of his office, knuckles poised to rap on the wood.
“Maxwell James Beaumont?” the young man said.
The air shimmied before him, like heat waves rippling above the desert floor.
“Yes.”
The kid stepped across the room, handed him a large envelope, and left.
Max knew what it was. He felt the floor might swallow him whole.
“Max.”
He focused again on the doorway. One of the staff ladies stood there. He couldn’t think of her name.
“You okay?” she said.
“I need to be alone. Shut the door, please.”
After a moment’s hesitation, she did what he asked.
He read the return address. The female attorney’s name was familiar. Tandy had used her services.
Max laid his face on the desk.
“Dear God, please don’t let this be happening.”
Max sat with his father in the gazebo at the far corner of the back-yard. Night had fallen. Low-to-the-ground solar lamps lit the path. Strings of twinkle lights crisscrossed the ceiling and cast a soft glow. Claire loved her twinkle lights.
“Son.” Ben tamped down the tobacco in his pipe. “I’ve been thinking.”
“I’ve been thinking, if Mom sees you with that thing, you’re in big trouble.”
Max really didn’t want to hear his dad’s thoughts. Claire was filing for divorce. Somehow he had made it through the day. Somehow he’d told his parents. His mother cried quietly.
The world would never be the same. He didn’t want to talk about it.
Ben chuckled. “I figured your mom would blow a gasket when she heard that the one thing I thought to stuff in my pocket the night of the fire was my pipe. But she didn’t. ’Course, we were in the mine when I told her. Then Chad said she had probably inhaled enough smoke to equal a lifetime of pipe puffing.”
“And she likes this guy?”
“Yep. Go figure. It was the fire. It sure did put a lot of things in perspective. We’re just glad to be alive. Other things don’t matter like they used to.” He lit the pipe.
“I couldn’t agree more, Dad.”
“Hmm.”
Max watched him get the pipe going. The soft night breeze car-ried a hint of cherry vanilla.
After a few moments, Ben lowered the pipe. “Been thinking about marriage. Yours and Claire’s. Mine and your mother’s. How we got to fifty-eight years. You know, we almost didn’t make it this far.”
Max shifted in his chair. “No, I didn’t know that.”
“Guess you wouldn’t. I never was much of a sit-down-and-explain kind of dad, was I? That wasn’t the manly Beaumont style. Leastways I didn’t whack you over the head all the time, like my dad did with me. The first time I hit BJ, your mom packed her bags.”
“Really?”
“Yep. She didn’t care much for my dad. Said she sure as heck didn’t marry him.”
Max’s overriding memory of his grandpa was one of extreme fear. He remembered a distinct sense of relief when he was eight and the old man died.
Ben said, “We reached a compromise. Paddling your behinds was okay, but never when I was angry and only under certain circumstances. So we got through that milestone. Next time she packed her bags, it was over my mother meddling in our affairs and me not taking Indio’s side. There were other situations, but you get the drift.”
“This is all news to me.”
“’Course it is. You were too young to understand. Later you were too busy with your own life, rebelling and working and meeting Claire.”
“I suppose.” He thought about the stories he’d just heard about his mom. “Were you always in the wrong?”
“Not always.” Ben grinned around his pipe stem. “But mostly.”
“Dad, I already know I’m in the wrong. I don’t blame Claire for any of this.”
“Don’t be too quick to let her off the hook. It takes two to tango, as they say. But there’s a way through all the muddle.”
“At this late date? Doubt that.”
“And don’t be so quick to give up.” His father lowered the pipe. “The secret your mother and I have learned is to make each other feel safe. So safe we don’t have to hide anything. We can be mad, sad, happy, and say whatever we want, even if it’s wrong, because we know nothing can kill our love for each other.”
Max rubbed his forehead. It was what Claire had said.
“We didn’t get here by accident. We had to make some conscious decisions along the way, set some goals. They’re kind of like promises we make over and over.”
Max sighed to himself. Apparently his dad wanted to be the teacher he had never been. Okay, he’d bite. “Promises like what?”
“Like we promise to believe God loves us and cares about every detail. When we’re seeing life through that belief, all is right with the world. Down-deep-inside sort of stuff like emotions get put in order. It’s not up to your mom to make me happy. That’s between me and God. If my eyes are fixed on Him, I’m okay. Same goes for your mom.”
He was talking about feelings. “How does that make you feel, Max?”
“The hardest promise we ever learned to make was when the bad times come, we don’t give them the power to destroy us.”
“BJ.” His brother’s disappearance in Vietnam was the worst imaginable difficulty his parents had ever faced.
Ben lowered his chin in a half nod. “Another thing we promise is to honor each other. I try to call your mom ‘love’ often. It reminds me that she’s more important to me than the hardware clerk I’m so polite to.”
Max nodded.
“Your mom and I try our darnedest to be like Jesus. Even though He is God, He decided to put some skin on so people could recognize Him better. He gave us His all just to prove His love. I try to give Indio my all. I choose—because I don’t always feel it—to focus on her. I choose to show her in any way I can that I love her.”
“So these promises that you live by—do they explain fifty-eight years of marriage?”
“Darn right, they do. Bottom line, Max, they make safety and security.”
“That’s a strong statement.” He exhaled wearily. “Hindsight is a marvelous thing.”
“Yes, it is. And you can have all mine, no charge.” Ben pointed his pipe at Max. “Don’t let her go.”
“It’s not my choice. She’s the one ending this marriage.”
“But isn’t there a six-month waiting period?”
“I’m sure I could prolong it even longer if I contest it. But I don’t see any sense in dragging things out. She can have whatever she wants.”
“That’s not my point, Max. I’m saying take the next six months and shower your unconditional love on her. Make her feel safe and secure when she’s with you. Don’t let her get a whiff of blame coming from you. Soon as she feels secure enough, she’ll come ’round to taking responsibility for her part. Win her back, Son.”
“Kind of tough, considering we don’t live together, and she doesn’t want to see me.”
“Don’t make excuses. You’ll figure it out.” Ben smiled. “You got all that hindsight going for you.”