ROSE wasn’t surprised that she didn’t hear from Dave on Thursday night as he was probably spending time with Melody. She had to face facts. There was another woman in his life now, and even though she was only six, it meant that his time would be divided between them.
She frowned. Surely she wasn’t jealous of a six-year-old! From what Dave had told her, and how she knew Julian would have treated the child, Melody had obviously been through the wringer lately. Now she had to adjust to a new life here in Broken Hill with her father—but what part was Rose supposed to play?
She paced around the house once more, unable to control her thoughts. She knew she could call him. That in this day and age it was fine for women to give men a call, especially when they were dating, but she couldn’t do it. She was still very uncertain about herself, thanks to Julian and the degrading way he had constantly put doubt into her mind. She could almost hear him now.
‘Do you think that would be the right thing to do, Rose? Imposing on people like that? It’s very rude—at least I think it’s rude.’
Comments such as that had been made constantly throughout her time with him, and she wondered why she hadn’t realised it had just been his way of manipulating her. How had she been so stupid?
Cross with herself, and determined not to let her silly neuroses get in the way, she took out her address book, checked Dave’s number and picked up the phone. When she got to the last digit, she hung up again.
‘I can’t do it,’ she said as she paced around the kitchen. ‘Yes, you can,’ she retorted, and headed back to the phone. She dialled again, forcing herself to take a deep breath and relax. She was anxious to hear his voice. Anxious to feel those tiny tingles that flooded her body when he spoke to her. Anxious to know he was nearby and thinking of her.
‘Yes?’ His tone was brisk.
‘Dave?’ Rose asked hesitantly, checking the number in her address book again. Had she dialled wrong?
‘Rosie.’ His voice softened marginally. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘Uh…’ Now what? Oh, she was no good at this. ‘I…uh…just wanted to see how things went. How did things go with Melody and the nanny?’ She hoped the nanny was a middle-aged woman with warts on her face, rather than the red-headed beauty she’d been imagining.
‘Fine.’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘Melody’s about to go to bed but she doesn’t want to sleep in the spare room. I told her she could sleep out here on the couch, but it really isn’t that comfortable.’
‘Um…well, why don’t you let her sleep with you tonight?’ she ventured. ‘Surely it couldn’t hurt. Just for tonight. The first night in a strange place is always uncomfortable.’
‘Yeah.’ He relaxed a little. ‘Good thinking. She’s had a terrible time of it, poor kid.’ He lowered his voice to a whisper. ‘The nanny didn’t come. Mel came the entire way from Sydney by herself.’
‘What? What happened to the nanny?’ Rose asked in stunned disbelief. Her insides twisted in horror at the thought of a six-year-old girl travelling all that way by herself.
‘Mags said she didn’t need a nanny.’ Dave’s tone was harsh and Rose didn’t blame him.
‘What are you going to do about tomorrow? You’ve got house calls and a clinic.’
He groaned. ‘I’d forgotten. I have no idea.’
‘What about Mick? Or his girlfriend?’
‘He and his girlfriend are leaving for Adelaide in the morning. They can’t cancel the trip or postpone it. They won’t be back until early Saturday morning.’
‘I see.’ Rose thought quickly, unable to believe what she was about to do. Her heart was hammering wildly against her ribs and her throat went dry. ‘Well, I’m…um…not due in Theatre—at least for tomorrow morning.’ She had planned to get through some paperwork but it could always wait. Rose knew from experience that no child should ever be made to feel unwanted. ‘I have a list in the afternoon, though.’
‘Are you sure?’ He sounded cautious. ‘I appreciate the offer but if it’s going to make you uncomfortable then I can make alternate arrangements.’
‘I…er…want to do this, Dave. I want to help you out.’ She wasn’t at all sure but the caring note in his voice had helped override the fear she was starting to experience. ‘Just relax and be honest, right?’
His laugh was incredulous. She’d remembered what he’d said and was willing to apply it. ‘That’s right. You’re one remarkable woman, Rosie Partridge.’
‘Thanks,’ she said softly. ‘Do you want me to come out to the farm?’
‘Actually, I think she might appreciate getting away from the farm. It’s not a great place for a kid to stay.’ He looked over at his daughter, sitting primly on one of the old, uncomfortable chairs, clutching her teddy to her for dear life. She looked frightened—scared—and he wondered if she was listening to his conversation. He raked his free hand through his hair. ‘I’ll drop her off tomorrow morning. Right now, I’d better go.’
‘All right. See you in the morning.’
‘Bye.’ He hung up the phone and went over to Melody. ‘How about sleeping in Daddy’s big bed tonight?’
‘With you?’ Her eyes widened as she looked at him and for a moment he felt as though she were reaching right into his soul.
‘Do you want to?’ he asked slowly, and was pleased with her emphatic nod.
‘I remember doing that the last time I was here and it was fun.’
Dave smiled at the way she’d instantly brightened. ‘Good. Off you go, then. Get into my bed.’
He waited for her to get beneath the thin cotton sheet, the gentle whirring of the ceiling fan above them. He sat on the other side of the bed and lifted his legs on top of the sheet after kicking off his shoes. Melody shifted over and snuggled into him. Dave ran his fingers gently through her hair, his gut twisting with an overpowering and protective love.
‘Daddy’s got to go to work in the morning,’ he said softly. ‘And Uncle Mick has to go on a trip to Adelaide for the day.’
‘But—’
‘Shh,’ he whispered. ‘Just listen for a moment. I want to introduce you to…a friend of mine. Her name is Rosie and she’s a doctor, just like me. We work together at the hospital but she doesn’t need to come to the hospital tomorrow morning and she asked if you could go to her house to play.’
‘Play?’
‘Yes.’ Dave wasn’t sure how Rosie would cope with playing with a six-year-old but he didn’t want Melody to feel unwanted. Besides, Rosie had offered. ‘So that will be exciting, won’t it?’
‘I guess,’ Melody replied, yawning once again.
Dave bent his head and kissed the top of hers. ‘All right, princess. Time to go to sleep, and don’t hog the bed like you did last time.’
Melody giggled before yawning again. ‘What does “hog the bed” mean?’
‘It means you take up all the room,’ he explained. ‘Now shush and close your eyes.’ He continued to stroke her hair, letting his thoughts wander. How would Rosie and Melody cope tomorrow? The importance of the situation penetrated him. Rosie was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman. She was intelligent, lively, spirited, direct and most of all honest. He loved the way they argued, the way she knew it was just an argument and didn’t take it too seriously. He loved the way she deftly raised her chin and squared her shoulders when she was preparing to give him a piece of her mind. He smiled at the memory. They were both hotheads with tempers that sparked easily and cooled just as quickly.
They had so much in common and tomorrow he’d introduce her to the other important female in his life—his daughter. He ignored the instinct that told him it might not be as easy as he hoped.
But surely when Rosie met Melody—in person—things would be different…Wouldn’t they? He knew she’d been burnt by Julian and his indifferent treatment of his own children, but he wasn’t like that. He loved his daughter and wanted her with him.
He stopped moving his hand on Melody’s hair as realisation struck. Was that it? Did Rosie want to be the only woman in his life? He’d asked her if she’d wanted children and she’d said she didn’t know. What did that mean? Didn’t most women want children?
He glanced down at his daughter who, he realised, was now asleep. His heart swelled with paternal love. How could anyone not want children? They were so…amazing. So fantastic. So humbling.
‘It has to be her own childhood,’ he murmured, as he carefully slid out of Melody’s grasp. He walked through to the kitchen and took a beer out of the fridge. He cracked it open and took a long drink. ‘What happened to her mother?’
‘Talking to yourself again, bro’?’ Mick asked as he walked into the room.
‘Something like that.’ Dave headed out to the verandah. Mick followed, sipping on a beer as well.
‘Problems with Rosie?’
‘Ha! When aren’t there problems with women?’
‘Want to talk about it?’
‘She’s just so…different. I’m in love with her, Mick.’
‘Tell me something I don’t know.’
‘How could you know? I’ve only just realised it myself.’
‘Hello! I live with you, remember? You’ve been different ever since she arrived in town. You’ve fallen faster than a lead balloon, and so has she. What’s the problem?’
‘You think Rosie loves me?’ Dave couldn’t help the smile of pride that filled him.
‘Sure. A blind man could see that. As I said, what’s the problem?’
‘She doesn’t like kids.’
‘Are you for real?’
‘Yes.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I asked her.’ He drained his drink and leant against the verandah rail. ‘I want more kids, Mick. I don’t want Melody to be an only child and I want to be there from the beginning, to feel my child kick inside Rosie.’
‘So she doesn’t want to have kids?’
‘She’s not sure.’ He exhaled sharply and looked up at the star-filled night. ‘I’ve got so many unanswered questions, Mick.’
‘Then why don’t you find out what the answers are?’
Dave stared at his brother. ‘You’re right. What’s the time?’
‘Just after nine.’
‘Look after Melody, for me, mate.’ Dave stalked into the kitchen and returned a moment later with his car keys. ‘I need to speak to Rosie.’
‘Maybe you should call first.’
‘You know me,’ Dave replied as he opened the car door. ‘Spontaneity at its best!’
Rose rested her head back on the edge of the bath, determined to get rid of her headache. This was her last night of peace and quiet and she was going to enjoy it with a relaxing soak. The water was like satin against her skin and the scented bubbles were enough to make her drowsy.
She refused to let herself think about the multitude of problems floating around in her head. Tonight she was going to relax and pamper herself a little. She’d taken the phone off the hook and turned out all the lights. The gentle breeze from the bathroom window ensured she didn’t get too hot and the five beautiful, flickering candles gave the room a soft glow. She closed her eyes, taking her first deep relaxing breath in days.
Her worries started to slip away, which was what baths like that were designed to do. As she continued to lie there, her mind turned to Dave. She blocked out any unanswered questions she might have and just focused on how much she cared about him. He’d become so special to her in such a short time. What she’d told him about not being rushed had been absolutely true, yet in some ways it was thrilling to be so caught up with emotions the way she’d been since arriving in Broken Hill—emotions that Dave alone was responsible for.
She thought about how gorgeous he’d looked when she’d seen him arm-wrestling in the pub. Had he really been ogling her back then? Little flutterings of excitement sprang to life in her stomach as she realised he had, especially if his kisses were anything to go by.
The way his mouth felt when it met hers…it was as though they’d been designed for each other. Never had she experienced emotions of this magnitude before but, then, she’d never been in love—really in love—with a man.
Oh, she’d told herself she’d been in love with Julian but it was nothing compared to how she felt for Dave. She could yell at Dave. She could lose her temper. She could be at her worst and he still found her attractive. It was as though he knew she had faults and simply accepted them, rather than trying to change her.
Rose sighed as her love for him grew once more. She allowed her imagination to run wild. She and Dave were married and this was their house. After a hectic day at the hospital they’d come home together, and when it was his turn to cook he’d draw her a scented bath and tell her to unwind, bringing her in a cool glass of wine, desire sparking in his eyes. He wouldn’t disturb her, though, because he’d be able to tell she just needed some time by herself.
After dinner, they’d make love, giving everything to each other. Not holding anything back. The image of Dave, lying with his legs entwined with hers, their bodies covered with the afterglow of spent passion, made her heart swell with happiness.
‘Rosie?’ The knock at the front door startled her from her dreams, and she realised she’d almost fallen asleep. The house was quiet and for a second she thought she’d imagined it. She’d been so caught up in her fantasies of Dave that she’d thought for a second he was here.
‘Rosie?’
She hadn’t imagined it. What did she do now? Her heart began to race. Why was he here? Should she pretend she was asleep or answer the door?
‘Rosie?’ His voice was fainter and she realised he was walking around to the back door. Then she remembered he knew where the spare key was hidden. He’d used it to get into the house the night she’d had food poisoning. Moments later she heard footsteps coming hesitantly through the house. ‘Rosie? It’s Dave. Is everything all right?’
If she didn’t move soon, he’d be walking in to find her in the bath, yet she found herself unable to move a muscle. Her heart was drumming so loudly, the noise was reverberating in her ears. She swallowed, amazed to find her mouth suddenly dry.
‘Rosie!’
It was the urgency in his tone that helped her to respond. The last thing she wanted was to worry him. ‘Just a minute,’ she called back as loudly as she could. The footsteps stopped, just outside her open bedroom door. The door to the en suite bathroom was open as well. A few more footsteps followed, but these were muffled by the carpet on the floor.
She watched as he materialised in the doorway.
‘U-uh…’ He faltered, stunned to find her relaxing in a bubble bath, lit only by the glow of some candles. His mouth opened at the sight of her and his eyes filled with desire. Rose swallowed, once more unable to move. They just stared at each other, the silent messages being interpreted fluently.
Dave instantly regretted not taking Mick’s advice and calling before he’d just turned up on her doorstep. All rational thought disappeared from his mind as he just stared at her lying there, surrounded by white, glistening bubbles.
‘If you don’t mind…waiting outside my bedroom…I’ll get out.’ Rose was surprised to find her voice so husky but there was nothing she could do about it.
‘U-uh…sure.’ His legs felt as though they weighed a ton as he went out of her bedroom, closing the door behind him.
She moved in the bath, not at all surprised to discover her arms were shaky. She quickly towelled herself dry and wrapped herself up in a big bathrobe. ‘All right. You can come in now.’ She fiddled nervously with the end of the sash that held her robe in place.
When he opened the door, her breath caught in her throat. Oh, he was gorgeous, and she had the urge to let her fingers memorise the contours of his body in great detail.
With a few short strides, he’d crossed the room and gathered her into his arms. His mouth on hers was hot and demanding. Not that she minded. Given the direction her own thoughts had taken, it seemed appropriate he was here.
‘Rosie.’ Her name escaped his lips as they momentarily gasped for breath. Dave plundered her mouth, his tongue seeking and receiving a response. How did this woman do it? She had the ability to knock him beyond the black stump with one simple look. Add to that the fact that whatever scent had been in the bath water now emanated from her skin, making him lose what vestige of control he had left.
‘Rosie.’ He smothered her neck with tiny kisses, unable to get enough of her. ‘Rosie,’ he murmured again, ‘I love you.’
The words were like a dousing of cold water. Rose lifted her head away from him. ‘You…you…what?’
‘I love you,’ he repeated again, his voice filled with desire. He gazed down into her eyes, knowing that what he was about to say could be a mistake but needing to say it anyway. ‘I want to marry you, Rosie.’
‘Marry!’ The vision she’d had of this being their house ran through her mind again. She brushed it away. There were still so many issues they needed to resolve—the first one being his daughter!
He’d been right. He didn’t stop her as she pulled away and took a few steps backwards. ‘Look, I know I’m rushing you—’
‘Rushing? You give the word new meaning, David.’ She was shaking all over and she wasn’t quite sure what from. Was it surprise? Disbelief or rage? All of those emotions and many more were coursing through her at a rate of knots, and her earlier tranquillity had been completely shattered. The knowledge that he loved her had come as a complete shock. She hadn’t expected him to feel the same way about her as she did about him. Now…now he wanted to get married?
‘Why shouldn’t we get married? I love you, Rosie, and I’m sure you feel the same way.’ He paused for a second. ‘Don’t you?’
‘Dave…’ Rose stopped, throwing her arms up in confusion. ‘Marriage?’
‘What? What’s so wrong with that?’ He could see her withdrawing from him and knew he’d lost her—this time. He was a man with a mission and stubborn determination to boot. He knew with an absolute certainty that he wanted to marry Rosie Partridge. ‘Is it Melody?’
‘Well…yes…amongst other things.’
There was that honesty—slapping him in the face again. He narrowed his gaze, determined to get to the heart of the matter. ‘What happened with your mother, Rosie? Why is it that you’re so afraid of children?’ He watched as she straightened her spine and raised her chin, defiance gleaming in her eyes. Didn’t she know she looked irresistible when she did that?
‘I’m not afraid of them…I’ve just never had much to do with children, that’s all. Other than treating them in my paediatric rotation, that is,’ she added as an afterthought.
‘What happened with your mother?’ he asked again, insistently.
‘She left us,’ Rose blurted out. ‘When I was three.’
‘Do you remember her at all?’
‘No, but my father has told me all about her. She wasn’t at all maternal.’
‘Ah, and you think you’re the same.’
‘Well, the children I have met have never taken an instant liking to me so, yes, I guess so.’
‘Yet you’ve just told me that you haven’t had too many dealings with children.’
‘And now you know why.’ Rose rubbed her fingers along her forehead, feeling her earlier headache returning. ‘I’d really like to get to bed early tonight, Dave.’
‘Kicking me out, sweetheart? Not just yet.’ His gaze roved over her again. ‘Put some clothes on and I’ll make us a cuppa.’
‘Dave, I’d really prefer that you—’
‘I’ll make the tea,’ he said more forcefully. ‘We’re going to talk about this, Rosie.’
‘No, we’re not. You can’t just come waltzing in here, laying down the law. I’m tired, Dave, and I want to go to sleep.’
‘I need to know.’ He stood his ground, not moving an inch.
‘What? You need to know that I look exactly like my mother? That I’m like her in so many ways it isn’t funny? I’m not maternal, Dave. When I see children, I don’t feel anything for them, except a need that they grow up.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘How would you know? You’re not me.’ Her eyes radiated pure disbelief at his words. ‘My mother was a bad mother and I’ll probably end up being just like her. She wanted a career and hated being stuck at home with a child. I’m very career-minded—just like her. I love my job. I enjoy it and I don’t want to give it up.’
‘No one’s asking you to.’
She shook her head. ‘There’s more to it than that. You wanted to know why I have mild claustrophobia, so I’ll tell you. At least once a week she used to lock me in my room for most of the day. It was a very small room, even for a child.’ Rose’s words broke on a sob. ‘She sometimes even left the house, leaving me in there with only a bottle of water. She was no good with children. She didn’t know how to deal with the ordinary tantrums children have, the way they expand their boundaries.
‘I may not remember these things but my father has always been honest with me and answered my questions when I asked. The mild claustrophobia wasn’t discovered until recently and although I’m slowly getting better, it’s going to take more time.’ Rose could feel the hot, angry tears pricking at her eyes.
‘I have no idea how to deal with children but I’ll tell you this. I won’t allow myself to lose control the way my mother did but I can’t say for certain until I put myself in that situation. Don’t you see? I can’t trust myself. To think of the permanent psychological damage that’s happened to me…’ She shook her head emphatically. ‘I won’t do that to another child. I won’t do it, Dave. I won’t!’ The tears were now streaming down her face and she knew she’d shocked him with her outburst.
He took a few steps towards her but she held up her hands to stop him. ‘Don’t. Don’t touch me.’
‘All right. I won’t.’ She could hear the love in his voice when he spoke, and it only tore through her with more pain than she thought she could bear. ‘But I want you to at least listen.’ His eyes were filled with understanding. ‘You’re not like your mother, Rosie. Believe me, you’re not.’
‘How would you know? You’ve never met her. You know nothing about her, except for what I’ve told you.’
‘Sweetheart, you care about kids, otherwise you wouldn’t be so conscious of what your mother did and how wrong it was. You’ve said you don’t want to inflict permanent psychological damage on a child and that, in itself, is proof enough that you’re nothing like your mother.’
She wanted to believe him. Oh, how she desperately wanted to believe him. She brushed back the tears with an impatient hand. ‘Still, what if I crack? What if I can’t cope and I’m horrible…?’ Her voice caught on a sob. ‘I just don’t know, Dave. I’m not sure.’ She shook her head.
‘Then why did you offer to have Melody tomorrow?’
‘Because of you.’
‘See? You care.’
‘About you, Dave.’
His heart nurtured that gem. ‘That’s a start.’ He took another step closer but she held her hands up again. He stopped. She was behaving like a caged animal and in a way he could understand it. She was fenced in by the past and now that the door was open, she wasn’t sure she wanted to step through it.
‘You care about me, Rosie. Doesn’t that show you how different you are to your mother? She obviously didn’t care about your father or she would have stayed to work things out. She would have told him that she couldn’t cope all day with a child and that she wanted a career, but she didn’t. You’re different.’
He edged closer but she simply edged back. ‘You’re open, honest. You communicate.’ He smiled at her, that gorgeous crooked smile that always had the ability to melt her insides. ‘You sure surprised me. A female who communicates.’ He was moving slowly as he talked. ‘I know you offered to have Melody tomorrow because you wanted to help me out, and you have no idea how much I appreciate that.’ He reached out a hand to her. ‘But I would never leave Mel with you if I didn’t trust you one hundred per cent.’
‘Get back,’ she sobbed, as she felt the wall behind her. ‘Please, just go.’
‘Sweetheart, I’m not going to leave you in this state.’
‘Yes, you are,’ she responded forcefully. ‘I’ve listened to what you’ve said and now I’d like you to go.’ She sniffed and wished she had a handkerchief or tissue.
Dave stood his ground, unsure whether or not to leave her. She was in such an emotional turmoil that he didn’t want her to spend the rest of the night sobbing out old memories that he’d obviously triggered.
‘I feel responsible.’ His voice was soft but he didn’t move any closer. ‘I’m glad things are out in the open, Rosie. Now we can move forward.’ He held her gaze for a moment before acceding. ‘I’ll go but only because that’s what you want.’ He turned and headed to the door.
Rose held her breath, not sure whether she really wanted him to go. He stopped at the door and turned to look at her.
‘The other thing you need to realise is that your mother wasn’t just bad at being a parent. Rosie, what she did to you was child abuse and neglect, and I’m sure your father has spent the rest of his life feeling guilty that he didn’t do something to stop it sooner.
‘Take the step, sweetheart. Step into the unknown.’ He smiled at her. ‘I’ll be there to support you all the way and catch you if you start to fall.’ He blew her a kiss before walking out. ‘I’ll lock the door behind me,’ he called.
Rose couldn’t move. She listened to him leave, just as she’d listened to him arrive. Slowly, she slid down the wall, her legs unable to support her weight any longer. Was he right? Was there hope?
Fresh tears welled in her eyes and she let them fall.