Chapter Nine

The next night, when the opportunity arose, Jack leaned across the table at dinner and said to Kelsie — and he didn’t care who was listening, “I’ve got to talk to you, Kelsie. When you’ve finished, please join me on deck.”

She looked at him, frightened. What on earth was he going to say? But he didn’t care. He was so disheartened by his manifest lack of diligence, his selfishness, enjoying himself as if he’d earned it by years of army service instead of having just joined up. Not only had the visit downstairs chastened him, it brought to mind all sorts of indignities the men might be facing that he hadn’t recognized.

He stood at the railing, waiting uncomfortably. The lanterns threw a low light across the loaded deck. Why was she taking such an age? Was she afraid to come? Had she decided that this sporadic relationship should go no further? Had he been neglecting her?

When she finally turned up, he wasted no time in pouring out all his worries

She listened, leaning against the railing, her feet braced on the iron deck as the ship rolled. She kept staring down at the glittering reflection of the half moon on the black waters, not looking at him. When he finished, she nodded. “And you know, Padre— ”

“I think now, you should start calling me Jack.”

“Well, all right then. You know, Jack, these boys, I don’t want to add to your worries, but we’re having quite a few of them in with burns on their bare legs from those steam pipes when they are doing those silly drills. The Colonel’s foolish orders for the men to go about in bare feet on that blistering deck, with trousers rolled up above the knees, is causing a good deal of sunburn, and with it, not a little suffering. I thought you would have noticed.”

“I have noticed. I thought it was just temporary. One or two days.”

“You haven’t noticed very much then, Jack. It’s been going on for a long time.”

Silence fell.

“I guess I’ve pretty well messed up all down the line,” Jack said. “I’m very sorry.” His heart felt so heavy it might fall and smash into a thousand pieces.

Kelsie reached out, took his hand, held it, and then brought it to her mouth and kissed it. Her grey eyes stared into his sympathetically. “Don’t take it so hard Jack. Now that you’ve heard and seen everything, you’ll know what to do.”

Her voice sounded warm and comforting. A little encouragement felt so nourishing at times like these. Had he been perhaps too hard on himself this last while? “Thank you Kelsie, thank you.”

* * *

Jack went in once again to face his bête noire, Brown, who during the voyage had lost no chance in denigrating him, or casting aspersions on his experience, or his bearing as an officer.

He made an ungraceful entrance, the heaving of the ship hurling him against a wall. He had to brace his hands on the Adjutant’s desk, an action his opponent took to mean he was being aggressive. Jack quickly straightened.

“I need an appointment to see the Colonel, please, Major.” Jack stood at what he thought was attention.

The Adjutant’s eyes narrowed. “On what matter?”

“Personal,” barked Jack, ready for a fight.

Brown tried to stare him down.

Jack stared right back.

“Am I given to understand that you, as Chaplain, are using your position to get access to our Colonel, busy though he may be, and although he has given instructions not to be disturbed?”

“I’m doing just that,” Jack said, and nothing more.

Again, Brown stared it him. Again Jack stared back.

Brown rose and went and knocked on Otter’s door and announced the chaplain.

Jack walked in, doing his best to hide his inner panic that recent days of army discipline had instilled. He used to feel afraid of neither man nor beast, but now the prospect of confronting the Commanding Officer of the entire regiment filled him with apprehension. Brown shut the door behind him and stood in the room at ease, listening.

Otter clasped his hands together, put them behind his head, and leaned back in his chair. “I suppose you’ve come on some pastoral matter, Padre?”

Jack sensed his superior was wary, but he also felt Otter was not about to throw him into the brig.

“I wish it were a pastoral matter, Colonel, but I’m afraid not. Which is why I am hesitant to bring it your attention. But I beg leave, as your chaplain, to mention this problem of the men’s well-being, which you may not, perhaps, fully realize.”

Jack heard an exclamation of disgusted astonishment behind, but did not turn, watching Otter. In any case, he persevered. “Your Standing Orders for the men, very well-intentioned, I’m sure, to toughen up their bare feet and legs for the South African sun, is having rather unfortunate effects.”

He saw the Colonel lean forward, put his elbows on the desk, his shoulders hunch, and a grim expression form upon his face.

Jack pressed on, “You see, Colonel, some of the men have become badly sun-burned. There are also unshielded steam pipes that have injured others. I believe, however well meaning, that you might want to go easy on this particular order for a short while — just until the men heal. We want them in good shape when we begin battle.”

“Is that all, Padre?” Otter snapped.

“Yes, Sir. That is all.”

Behind, Jack heard Brown click to attention. He paused, looking at Otter, as neither spoke. Then Jack finished, “Thank you very much for taking the time to listen to me Colonel. I deeply appreciate it, no matter what your decision.” With that he turned and left the room.

* * *

The next day, after evening prayers that the nurses attended, Jack fell in with Kelsie as she headed towards the mess. “And so how are the boys doing with their sunburned arms and legs? I’ve been concerned.”

“And well you might be, Padre.” Kelsie avoided looking at him. “As if there isn’t enough to keep us occupied, with all the aches and pains from those awful drills. Don’t I smell of liniment now? I’ve been rubbing it on them all for days.”

“I still have a lot to learn about military conduct,” Jack said. “I often find myself confused as to the good intentions of our officers.”

The mess doors hadn’t opened yet, so they drifted toward the side rail and leaned over. “Look, Kelsie!” Jack so wanted to talk to her about this latest contre-temps, but wasn’t sure if he should.

Sleek forms sliced the waves near the bow keel, weaving their supple bodies to speed back and forth in a dolphin dance.

“Seen any whales?” he asked

“A couple of times. Spouting, far off.” Occasionally, the dorsal fin of a shark, grim wolf of the ocean, cleaved the open sea like a knife.

“Such beautiful creatures, these dolphins,” Jack murmured. “I’ve never seen them before.” He paused. “You know, yesterday I saw a butterfly on deck. Its wings were moving up and down as though trying to keep its life flowing. A harbinger of a new continent, I suspect.”

“Yes.” Kelsie nodded, then shook her head.

“So,” Jack went on, “I guess we will soon be in Cape Town...”

“Yes, and I’m not looking forward to it, Padre.”

Jack grimaced. “Well, that butterfly did make me think, for a moment, of the souls that might indeed flutter up into an unknown paradise.” They both fell silent.

She nodded. Then, Jack tried to sound optimistic: “Imagine, such a faraway and mysterious continent — ours at last. I don’t suppose you’ve ever been, either?”

He glanced at her. He himself had even been aware that their voyage — and thus their new relationship — would be over... Had she considered that, too?

“That’s when the killing starts,” she said simply. “I’ve seen enough accidents in Halifax to know what we’ll be facing. Our boys will get carried into hospitals, crying for help. I’ll tend them all right, but I don’t like the thought of my friends from the ship screaming in pain.” She looked at him with her big eyes. “Jack, they’re so young, even younger than me. How can any of us look forward to all this — having them butchered by savages they’re going over there to wallop?”

She lapsed into silence, and Jack reached out. She came close to him. He put his arm round her. “I know,” she went on. “I’ve come over offering my help and all that... But I just can’t stop worrying. Rumours say the Boers are such fine marksmen... With those German guns of theirs, they’ll pick off our boys from an awful long way away.”

She’s right, Jack thought, she’s absolutely right. But on the other hand, although it meant facing dangers he did not relish, he still felt a growing excitement at drawing closer to this unknown continent.

“You’d think someone would at least say something to Otter,” Kelsie said after a time, bringing the subject back to sunburns.

It was an opening that Jack still preferred not to take. “What perplexes me is why our second or third in command, Major Buchan or Major Pelletier, can’t go in and tell the old boy what’s happening. Does he have any idea of the havoc he’s causing?”

She looked at him again, and he saw her steeling herself. “You’ve been told about it as well.” Then she looked back at the sea.

“Yes.” He still resisted speaking about his confrontation. “I expected a change, but...”

After a pause she went on. “One young kid was in, I’m sure he lied about his age to join up, anyway, he was grumbling loudly about the chaplains doing nothing.”

Now that Jack did not want to hear. The good name of the clergy lay in the balance, so now at last, he had to speak up. It would relieve his distress. “As a matter of fact, Kelsie, I did go in. I faced Otter. I... I just didn’t want to mention it.”

“Why not?” She turned to him with an entirely different look in her eyes. “That was so good of you, Jack. I’ll tell them.”

“No, don’t. You see, I got nowhere. I really expected a change right away.” He shrugged. “And nothing happened. I failed.”

“You didn’t fail, Jack. You didn’t. You tried. That’s what matters.” She paused, and went on as if to herself. “I will tell the lads. It’s your good name, and I want them to know.”

“Well, I don’t want the lads to think ill of us chaplains.” Though he wondered why the other two had not stepped in as he had. Or maybe they had? A lot more to this army business than just preaching sermons, he was finding out. What would the next hurdle be?

But in two days, Jack was pleased see that his request that the order be rescinded was listened to, and some form of normalcy restored.

And then, too soon for Jack actually, early in the morning, on Monday, Nov 29, 1899, a dull hump appeared on the horizon, scarcely discernible between the slate coloured sky and water: the flat-topped mountain which heralded Cape Town. And with that, the imminent approach of war.