“You legally changed your name?” That’s what Sonia had said, but Nate needed to be sure he’d heard correctly.
Sonia nodded.
Nate looked down at his plate, his appetite trashed. She’d left home, cut ties with her family and old friends, and changed her name. He knew she had to have a big bad reason for such a drastic choice.
He was seriously out of his depth.
He had to ask the obvious question. “Did they abuse you?”
Sonia frowned. “I don’t want to talk about it. What’s past is past.”
Fuck. That meant they had.
Nate put down his knife and fork.
Sonia stood up and started to clear the table. “Do you want to take the leftovers?” she asked briskly. “It would heat up all right tomorrow and give you an easy meal when you’re getting settled in.”
“Sure,” Nate said, hating to see food wasted.
Sonia took a container out of the cupboard and started to pack up the rest of the meal. She seemed to be deliberately keeping her back to him, and her posture was tense. The mood had turned awkward, as if she regretted her confession.
Nate was torn, one more time, between what he knew was the smart choice and what he wanted to do in this moment. He should head out to Boston ASAP. He shouldn’t prolong the inevitable. He shouldn’t feed her expectations. He shouldn’t ask questions and dig into her past.
But he really wanted to help.
He knew what it was like to face doubts alone at night.
“Aren’t you keeping any?” he asked, just to break the silence.
“Are you kidding?” Sonia cast him a quick smile and that reassured him. “I already have to do an extra session tomorrow after this pastry. It was good, though.” She turned to face him, keeping her distance, and smiled again. “Sorry for over-sharing.” There was a sadness in her eyes that tore him up.
“My lips are sealed,” he said in a teasing tone, making a motion as if he was locking his mouth closed.
“Thanks.” She offered the take-out container, all sealed and ready to go.
Nate took it, knowing this was his cue, but didn’t move. “Are you okay?”
“More or less.”
“Because if you want to talk…” he started to speak but her words spilled forth, interrupting him.
“You know, it’s late to start a long drive.” It was as if she’d read his mind. “If you stay the night, that won’t give me expectations of more than one-and-done.” She sounded stronger now, and more like her usual self. Maybe the fact that he was lingering was helping.
“We’ve already had more than one.”
The strange thing was that it hadn’t been enough. He should have been satisfied and a lot less interested in kissing Sonia again. But Nate wanted to take that step between them. He wanted to pull her into his arms and he wanted to do whatever was necessary for her to make that little sound again.
Just the memory of it made his heart leap.
“But it was all part of the same interlude, wasn’t it?” she said, apparently oblivious to the conflict in him. “Like courses at a meal. We had a slow appetizer…”
“I recommend the oysters,” Nate said on impulse and Sonia laughed out loud.
She put her hand over her mouth, as if she didn’t think she should have laughed, but her eyes were sparkling again. “That was bad.”
“No, I thought the oysters were great,” he dead-panned, which made her laugh again.
“You’re bad.”
“Nope. The consensus is sweet.”
She studied him, her gaze bright. “If you stay, I promise no emotional downloads or heartfelt confessions.” She kissed her fingertips and touched them to her heart.
Nate was surprised by how badly he wanted to hear that download.
Nobody could mess him up like Sonia, that was for sure.
“Then why the invite?” he asked
“I’d worry about you driving late.” She smiled. “That’s what friends do, isn’t it? Look out for each other?”
Friends. A good choice of word and not an accidental one. It had been chosen to reassure him and it had worked. Nate nodded. He could live with being friends. And staying would be a lot better than driving at night, or sitting in a hotel room watching a movie alone—even if his curiosity wasn’t satisfied.
“They listen, too,” he reminded her.
Sonia nodded. “I know. But it was so good. I was really enjoying myself and your company. I don’t want this to be the closing note since we probably won’t see each other again.”
“Me neither,” he said. “Although I have to wonder if you’re just trying to avoid paying up,” he teased.
Sonia went to her purse, pulling a ten from her wallet and handing it to him. That meant she was only a step away, close enough that he could smell her body lotion. It made him remember the taste of her skin and the feel of him against her. His gaze dropped to her mouth and he thought about kissing her one last time.
He should have taken the money and run.
But Nate didn’t.
He stepped closer and Sonia didn’t retreat.
“Double or nothing,” he said, reaching for her.
“What do you mean?”
“I know one good way to get the mood back.” Nate put his arm around her waist, placing the container on the counter. Sonia nestled close, smiling up at him. “I’m wondering if I can convince you to make that sound again.”
She blushed and stuffed the bill into the back pocket of his jeans. “Or we could finish the wine.”
Nate didn’t actually care what they did. He wasn’t going to acknowledge his own urge to defend her, in case Katia or some other trouble showed up. Another glass—or two—of wine with Sonia and some sleep was a practical choice, whether there was more sex or not. Another half a dozen of those bone-melting kisses wouldn’t be a bad thing either.
The bottom line was that Nate didn’t have it in him to walk out the door and leave her alone when he knew she wanted his company.
Call it a weakness.
He was in.
“I should check the car first,” he said, watching Sonia’s eyes light with pleasure. “Is that a legal overnight parking spot?”
Nate would stay the night.
Sonia was so glad. She wanted to get back to that celebratory mood and go their separate ways on a high note. She knew she’d remember this night forever. The last thing she wanted to think about was Katia and some fabricated crisis. If anything hit the fan in future, she’d deal with it then.
Tonight, there was Nate—and maybe another orgasm.
Just because they were friends didn’t mean there couldn’t be more benefits.
Once had become one night, which might include one morning. It was all good, and Sonia would have no further expectations. It was just sex—great sex, but no more than that. She’d almost messed it up by mentioning her past, but she wouldn’t do that again.
Her past was complicated.
Being with Nate was simple.
While he was gone, Sonia put the dishes in the sink to soak, then turned on the fairy lights. She turned out the other lights and left the blinds drawn. The sight made her smile, just as it always did. Her place looked like a magical cave where anything could happen.
Nate buzzed from the street and then he was at the door. His eyes lit with appreciation as he checked out the change and he smiled.
“It looks totally different.”
“Kind of magical,” Sonia said. “I like it like this at night.”
Nate stopped in front of her, met her gaze, then bent to kiss her. It was a slow sexy kiss, one that lit the fire again and had her arching against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Remember the list?” he asked finally, his gaze meeting hers. He was very serious.
“No sympathy sex or pity fucks. We’re all clear.”
Nate shook his head. “And no duty sex.” His eyes were lit by the reflection of the lights. “You don’t owe me anything. No obligations.”
“What if I want you?”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile. “That’s all fair. But sex should be fun. It should be about mutual pleasure and satisfaction, not about paying debts or doing whatever you think you’re supposed to. You invited me to stay and I accepted. There’s no obligation beyond that for either of us.” He lifted a brow and Sonia remembered him stopping her from going down on him. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Sonia smiled. “Want another glass of wine?”
“That might eliminate the possibilities of double or nothing, at least in the immediate future.”
“There’s always the morning.”
“I love sex in the morning.”
“Me, too. It’s the best.”
Something flashed in his eyes, then Nate pulled her closer, capturing her lips with his own again. “I’m a sucker for a woman who knows what she wants,” he confessed when he lifted his head, his voice husky. “Tell me what else you like.”
“Cuddling. Red wine. Slow kisses.”
“I’ve got you covered. What else?” Nate picked up his phone and was scrolling through a list, looking for something. She thought for a minute that he was checking his texts, but then he gave her one of those mischievous sidelong glances and piano music started to play.
“Got to set the tone,” he said.
“A good dinner.” Sonia led him to the big chair and he scooped her up, sitting down with her in his lap.
“A great dinner,” he corrected. “Done and done.”
“Being pampered.”
“Working on it.” Nate poured the wine, topping their glasses, and they toasted each other.
“What about you?”
“Slow sex, but you know that already. That sound you make. Smart women.” He indicated her framed degree and license, both hanging by the door. “Tell me about those.”
Sonia was thrilled that he’d noticed. “I just got my registered therapist license this year.” She couldn’t keep from smiling with satisfaction.
“And the other?”
“My degree from Columbia. Psychology.”
“One leads to the other.”
“It can. In this case, it did.”
“I didn’t even know you were going to college.”
“I didn’t talk about it at work, because I did the degree part-time. It was taking forever—plus the obvious question would be what I would do once I’d graduated.”
Nate toasted her. “I also like people with plans and dreams. It’s a Bachelor of Psychology.” Sonia nodded. “From Columbia and magna cum laude. Go, you.”
“You’re the best cheerleader ever.”
“I try.” Again, that mischievous grin flashed and Sonia’s heart leapt. “How cool is it that you’re a registered therapist? You’ll be able to help people.”
“That’s the plan.”
“What made you decide to pursue it?”
“I was inspired by my therapists. One told me that I had the right traits to be a good therapist myself and once I heard the idea, I couldn’t let it go.”
“And you did that whole degree while working at the club. That takes dedication.” He looked her in the eye. “I’m not kidding. I’m seriously impressed.”
Sonia felt wonderful, even better than whenever she had a good workout and a great massage afterward. She felt appreciated. And yet, there was still a sizzle of awareness between them, one that made her hope for more. Nate made her feel confident and sexy, and she wanted to put that feeling in a jar so she could savor it again anytime.
“And now you’re done. Does that mean you’re going to get another job somewhere and leave the club?”
Sonia made a face. “That’s just it. I don’t really want to leave F5F. I feel at home there.”
“Your family of choice.”
“Exactly! But I want to be a therapist, too.”
Nate nodded. “So, you need a way to combine both things.”
“They don’t exactly go together like chocolate and peanut butter,” she said and he grinned. “Your turn,” she said before he could ask another question. “Tell me about Pierce’s new business and your job.”
“Always curious,” he teased.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“It’s probably good for a therapist to ask a lot of questions. Sounds like you’ve found your niche.” They smiled at each other for a potent moment that stole Sonia’s breath away. “Pierce is going to provide security for the rich and famous,” Nate said. “I guess it’s an extension of what he used to do. He worked for the family of that princess for years, in Greater Alghenia.”
“Farah.” Sonia wasn’t sure what to make of the glamorous princess. Farah apparently believed that everything she wanted was hers for the taking. She was the center of attention wherever she went and seemed to revel in that. In a way, she reminded Sonia of her twin—or her mother. “She’s quite beautiful.”
Nate laughed. “No one needs that kind of beauty.”
“What do you mean?”
“That it’s superficial. I’m not sure her character is beautiful. It might be, but she’s so much trouble that I’d never bother to find out.”
“Not even for one-and-done?”
“Nothing is ever done with a woman like that.” He spoke with conviction, and Sonia wondered whether Farah reminded him of someone. “I think she’s a lot of trouble and will keep Pierce’s team hopping. But maybe that’s the point. Lots of billing.”
Sonia didn’t want to talk about Farah. “It’s exciting that he’s gone out on his own.”
“Absolutely. He has a lot of contacts and has been putting together a team.”
“Including you.”
Nate grinned. “Yes. The official new kid on the block.” They clicked glasses and sipped.
“What are you going to do?”
“Whatever Pierce wants me to.”
“But what kind of things? Would you be a bodyguard?”
“Maybe. Probably some security work. Maybe some re-con. I don’t really care. Every day will be a new adventure.”
“Why did he hire you? I mean, I would, but Pierce always seems to have a big plan.”
“Somehow, he found out that I’d made the cut for the Marine Raiders.” Nate shook his head. “I have no idea how he discovered that.”
“You mentioned that before. What are the Marine Raiders?”
“A special operations force. You apply and are tested, then go back to your unit to await the results. I’d just heard that I’d been accepted for the next round of training and was waiting for orders when everything went boom.” He waved the Hook and made a face. “It was bad timing, that’s for sure.”
“And you couldn’t continue?”
“I’d never meet the physical requirements without my hand. The bar is high.”
She looked at the Hook. “You must have been disappointed.”
“That’s an understatement. I was devastated.” Nate spoke lightly but Sonia guessed it had been really hard for him. “You know, Damon would have known I’d been accepted, because he was my commanding officer. Maybe he told Pierce.”
“I forgot that you’d served with him.”
Nate nodded. “You know, I did talk to Damon about two months ago. He wanted me to do a podcast about weightlifting for vets and people with special needs.”
“What you used to teach at the club. Why didn’t you do that?”
“Not my thing. I’m happier with hands-on, plus I’m not that photogenic.” He smiled, proving those words wrong, then nudged Sonia. “What about you? Why aren’t you doing a podcast? I thought they were offering all the instructors that opportunity.”
“The partners are. Cassie asked me right away.” Sonia tried to change the subject. “Damon doesn’t say much but he fixes things for people. I could see him talking to Pierce about you.”
“He takes care of his team,” Nate said with a nod. “That was always his thing. I should call him up and ask him, and say thanks if it was his doing.”
Sonia smiled. It was so like Nate to make sure people knew he appreciated their efforts on his behalf. “So, Pierce just offered you a job?”
“No, there was a test.” Nate’s smile was filled with enough satisfaction to light the neighborhood. “It totally rocked. It was like a mini version of Mission Impossible—get to the target without being caught. I loved it.”
Sonia was surprised. “With weapons and everything?”
“Paint guns. The pellets can hurt, depending where you take the hit, but they aren’t lethal. It was completely awesome.” He turned that sparkling gaze on her and Sonia felt a simmer in her veins. “And what about you? Why not do the podcast? I think you’d be great at it.”
Sonia dropped her gaze. “There are a lot of yoga instructors online, even at F5F.”
Nate shook a finger at her. “But you’re a great teacher. There was always a waiting list for your classes at the club. You care about people, Sonia, and it shows. They respond to that, and they would online, too. You’d have a fan club in record time.” He looked down when she didn’t reply, obviously thinking, and Sonia wondered what he’d say. When he did speak, she was surprised. “Was that thing with leaving your family part of the reason you didn’t do the podcast right away?” He fixed her with an intent look and Sonia felt caught. “Because you didn’t want to take the chance of them finding you?”
Sonia nodded once, knowing she shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d figured it out. “Part of it. I don’t want them back in my life. They’re toxic.” She said this last with too much heat and knew he noticed.
“But you can’t hide forever,” Nate said. “It’s been years. You have to step out and live your life.”
“I know but it’s scary.”
“And your interest in therapy and listening is probably why people loved your class so much. You could offer yoga and a bit more.”
“How so?”
“A lot of people come to F5F to get in shape, but have deeper reasons for being out of shape in the first place.”
“Absolutely,” Sonia agreed, knowing she’d been in that camp herself.
“Maybe what would make your yoga podcast different would be an interest in the whole person, not just the physical side of things.”
“Yoga does that.”
“But you do more of it.”
“I don’t know,” she said, still thinking about the threat of discovery.
Nate put down the glass and pushed it away. When she met his gaze, his eyes were bright. “Let’s talk about your concerns about your family a bit.”
“We don’t have to.”
“Given my experience with hostile forces, I might have an idea or six.” He raised his brows, obviously trying to make her smile. Sonia did. “And you’re the one who became a therapist.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it,” she said. “It might just be too much information. We don’t have to bare our souls here.”
“But we can evaluate strategies and maybe come up with some ideas in the spirit of friendship.”
“True.” It was tempting to confide more in him.
“When you’re facing an enemy, there are a couple of tactical choices.” Nate counted them off on his fingers. “One is to hide. It’s maybe the first reaction and it’s not a bad one. The problem is that you can’t do it forever. Sooner or later, you need food, water, ammo, or other resources, and you end up revealing yourself. You have to be ready to be discovered when that happens, maybe with another plan.”
Sonia nodded agreement.
“Two, you can attack. You can just go at them and not give it up, just keep going forward regardless of the cost.”
“That might not end well for everyone,” Sonia said, kind of liking the idea of charging her family and blowing them all away.
“Or the cost could be too high.” Nate held up another finger. “Third is subterfuge. Hide or attack might be the obvious choices, but you can make it unclear which course you’re following.”
“You can be sneaky,” Sonia said with a nod of understanding.
“Exactly. You can make every indication of retreat, then attack when your opponent is complacent, for example. The mix is more likely to succeed, to my thinking.”
“I have this feeling that you have a plan.”
He smiled. “What if you hide in plain sight?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’ve made some choices to start a new life. You changed your name. You moved. You broke off contact with them. You’ve kept a low profile for years. All good. You can’t just keep your life on hold forever, though, and doing the podcast is something you’ll be good at. So, you’d be stepping out of the shadows, so to speak, but in a controlled environment. If your family aren’t in New York and they aren’t members of F5F and they don’t watch fitness podcasts, they might never see or recognize you. Do any of those conditions apply?”
“No,” Sonia had to admit, her hopes rising.
“Then I think it’s a brilliant compromise and the perfect choice.” Nate saluted her with his glass. “And I know you’d be an amazing online teacher.”
She’d loved Cassie’s suggestion in the first place but fear of discovery had made her decline. Nate was right, though—it was a limited risk, and the reward for following her instinct would be well worth it. Especially if she could use the podcast to help and inspire others with similar experiences to her own.
There was one detail, though. “But Katia might see,” she said. “She’s in town and she knows I work at the club.”
“So, it wouldn’t give her new information. Will she tell the rest of your family?”
“She promised before that she wouldn’t. She likes to forget inconvenient promises, though.”
“Has she told them before?”
“No.” Sonia frowned. “Something seems to have changed.”
“But you’ve broken ties with her again. Change your cellphone number. Move to a different apartment. You can avoid her, if you want to. Put yourself in your own witness protection program.” Nate shook his head, looking resolute. “Don’t let Katia take anything away from you, Sonia. You don’t owe her anything.”
“Oh, but I do,” she admitted. “I owe her a lot.”
Nate’s expression became concerned but he didn’t ask.
He just waited while she thought it all through.
It only took Sonia a heartbeat to trust her instinctive reaction.
“Okay, you’ve convinced me,” she said, hearing her own excitement. “You’re right about it being a good compromise and I’ll do it.”
Nate leaned closer and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Prove it,” he taunted, then plucked her phone out of the charger and offered it to her.
Sonia pulled up Cassie’s number and made the call.
Nate was counting this as a win.
Sonia was obviously excited about doing the podcast and he’d just helped her to get past her concern about her family. He wished he knew what they had done to her—and he also didn’t want to know the details. He could hear Cassie’s enthusiasm through the phone line and gave Sonia a thumbs-up.
He had the playlist ready when she ended the call and launched herself at him in delight. He caught her, and spun her around, then kissed her in triumph. He started the music and sang Angel Eyes to her as they danced around the apartment.
It was absolutely perfect. A night to remember—and one Nate knew he would. He bent down to capture her mouth with a slow kiss again, knowing that the next morning would be amazing.
“We should have done this sooner,” Sonia whispered against his throat.
“No regrets,” Nate said, then kissed her to silence. This one night would be more than enough.
He’d make sure Sonia agreed.
Sonia was at Tobias’ party, dressed in the wonderful Cleopatra costume that Katia had brought her. The wig was black and heavy, her eyeliner was thick and perfect, the sequined dress was slinky and slit high up one side. She felt amazing, sexy and incognito, and the party was rocking. It felt like a night when dreams would come true.
She couldn’t wait.
The décor of Tobias’ apartment was beyond any expectation. Inspired by the world of his stories, he’d turned the main room of his apartment into a steampunk gentleman’s library. Cost had clearly been no object. He’d bought furniture on his travels and brought it all together in an eclectic collection that Sonia had found astonishing at first glance. It had been even more amazing at night when filled with people in costume.
It was like attending a party on a movie set, but she couldn’t name the film.
The apartment was in an older building, with period details and high ceilings. He’d replaced the floors with stone tiles laid in a black and white checkerboard pattern, set on the diagonal. Persian rugs were cast over the floor, piled three deep in some parts of the room. The draperies were heavy, made of miles of black velvet thick with gold embroidery, and they covered the exterior walls from floor to ceiling. Massive bookcases had been built into the walls, with glass doors and a brass ladder that slid on a rail. They were filled with leather bound volumes on every possible subject, including the design of dirigibles. The furniture ranged from Victorian to Edwardian and was all black and gold, including a number of tables that were Egyptian-inspired. The tables were covered with old globes and crystals, steampunk weapons and atlases to worlds that didn’t exist. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling and brass lamps sat on every table. It was a room that would take a month to inventory. In one corner was an elaborate bird cage that had to be eight feet tall. A large white cockatiel sat on the swing, surveying the proceedings.
It was a big noisy party, the glittering apartment filled with sparkling people in costume. The dictated theme was historical kings and queens. She recognized several Henry VIII’s and talked to a guy in a long silver beard and a robe embroidered with holly who said he was King Wenceslas. Louis XIV was in attendance along with Julius Caesar, who tipped his laurel to her. She saw Elizabeth the first and the second, Anne Boleyn and Marie Antoinette, Nefertiti, the Queen of Sheba and King Tut. There was champagne and laughter, elaborate canapés, and the lights of the city sparkling beyond the big windows.
But Sonia only had eyes for the Elvis impersonator laughing by the windows. Nick was dressed as a young Elvis in his prison stripes and she wondered whether he’d sing Jailhouse Rock. He’d added longer sideburns to his dark hair, but looked just as gorgeous as ever. Her mouth was dry and her heart skittered as she approached him.
“Hey!” he said, his eyes lighting at the sight of her. “You can’t fool me.”
Sonia smiled, thrilled beyond belief that he’d recognized her.
“Looking good.” He walked around her appreciatively, then saluted her with his beer. “Great costume.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Any time you need someone to serve your royal needs, give me a call.” Sonia glanced up in surprise and he winked at her.
It was a dream come true.
They danced, Nick’s gaze fixed on her as if he wanted to memorize the sight of her, as if he was caught in the same spell. His hand was on the back of her waist, keeping her pressed against him, and Sonia was sure he could hear—or feel—the skipping of her heart. His lips were against her ear and he smelled so good. She couldn’t wait for whatever happened between them. Katia had her own apartment within Tobias’ place and Sonia was making plans to tug Nick there when Tobias joined them.
Nick spun her out of the dance, but kept his arm locked around her waist. He grabbed another bottle of beer from a passing waiter but Sonia shook her head. The last thing she wanted was alcohol in this moment.
“Just like old times,” Tobias said, gesturing to the three of them with his champagne glass.
Nick laughed. “Except fat Thalia isn’t hiding in a corner, eavesdropping.”
Sonia’s heart sank at the sound of her old name.
“How pathetic was she? And how could she not know it?” He took a drink of his beer, oblivious to Sonia’s reaction. “She followed me like a puppy needing to be kicked.” He laughed. “Or like a pet pig. I was seriously tempted to give her what she wanted, but—” He shuddered. “I couldn’t bring myself to touch her.” His eyes gleamed. “That’s why I made a bet with my buddy on prom night. You remember Jackson?”
Tobias nodded agreement.
Sonia’s heart sank to her toes. Not Jackson.
“I bet him a hundred bucks that he couldn’t do her. ‘Roll her in flour and aim for the wet spot’ he said and we laughed. So he asked her to prom and I had to pay up.”
Nick had made a bet with Jackson.
He saluted Sonia with his beer as she fought against her reaction. “Whatever happened to your sister, anyway? Is she fatter than ever, hiding in a basement somewhere with her stash of ice cream?” He made an expression of disgust.
“I don’t know,” Sonia managed to say.
“I thought you were in touch with her,” Tobias said, but she shook her head, adamant.
“Not any more.” Sonia turned away. She’d admired Nick for so long, but purely based on his looks. She’d barely talked to him, and had no idea he was so mean.
He had been behind that time with Jackson.
The truth was like a stab to the heart: the destruction of her long-held fantasy was so abrupt that it made her catch her breath.
All she wanted to do was escape.
She crossed the room quickly, not caring who she pushed past to get to the door.
Tobias followed her. “Are you okay? You look sick.”
“I am sick. I’m going to be sick.”
“But why did you lie? I know you’re in touch with Thalia…”
“Forget it, Tobias,” Sonia said, turning on him rare heat. “Just forget it. I have to go.”
“Go where?” he called after her, obviously mystified, but Sonia didn’t stop to explain.
By the time she got a cab and was headed downtown, her anger was rising. Katia had known that Nick wasn’t interested in her. Nick had set her up years ago, and Katia had set her up for Valentine’s Day.
She never wanted to talk to any of them again.
Sonia woke up, her heart skipping. She’d left the fairy lights on and they were twinkling like starlight. She was nestled against Nate’s heat, his arm around her waist, but she still felt all wrong.
That dream.
And Nick.
All those years ago, she’d only ogled him and not listened to what he said. He probably hadn’t changed a bit. She’d just taken one look and seen happily-ever-after. But Nick’s beauty was only skin deep.
She should have been smart enough to see that.
Sonia moved away from Nate slowly, sitting on the side of the bed and looking down at him. He slept in the nude, which she liked a lot, on his back, a sure sign of confidence. His hand was stretched into the space she’d abandoned, as if even in sleep, he missed her presence beside him. She was impressed all over again by how ripped he was but more impressed by the strength of his character. He didn’t back down from obstacles and he didn’t hide. He was making changes to transform his life into the one he wanted.
Sweet and hot.
All the way to his heart.
And he had the best mouth. Firm yet soft. Seductive. Sonia wanted to trace the shape of it with her fingertip, maybe wake him up with a kiss. He’d earned his sleep, though, with that third round. She wouldn’t disturb him.
The Hook glinted in the ambient light on the nightstand. It had seemed rude to look closely at it when Nate was awake, but Sonia got up to examine it now. She touched the cold steel with a fingertip, knowing he thought of it as just a tool, then fingered the little sock that he wore over the stump to pad it. It was soft and thick. Sweeping her hair back, Sonia bent down to look at his arm.
It was pretty much the way she would have expected. Nate had no right hand and just above the point where the wrist had been, his arm ended in a rounded stump. She could barely see the line of a healed scar on the lower edge. She took a closer look at the tattoo she’d noticed on his forearm in the shower.
The tattoo was a pair of overlapping hearts with the words Love is Forever above them. The bottom of the hearts were cut off by the scar of an incision, leaving just the end flourish of a letter. There must have been a name beneath the heart.
Sonia stared at it for a moment. Nate had loved someone forever. But where was that person? Was that loss the reason why he didn’t want to have a relationship?
She leaned closer, trying to guess what first letter would have left a tail like the one she could see. Maybe a T. When she tried to get a better look, Sonia’s hair spilled over her shoulder, brushing against Nate’s upper arm, and she froze.
He lifted one brow without opening his eyes. “No freak show,” he warned in a low growl. His breathing hadn’t changed and neither had his posture.
He’d known all along that she was looking.
“I’m curious.”
“Kind of a thing with you.”
“The scar is part of you,” she said. “I’m looking at it the same way I look at your mouth or your eyes.”
“You look at my mouth.” Nate sounded skeptical and his eyes opened a slit.
“I do.” Sonia reached out and touched the tip of her finger to his lips. She felt the jolt of his surprise. “I always did,” she confessed quietly. She traced the outline of his mouth, her gaze fixed upon her finger. “You sleep on your back.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“Naked.”
“Rain or shine.”
“Confident,” she said, her fingertip making another circuit.
Nate caught her hand in his. “Don’t mess with me, Sonia.” His voice was a low growl, a sexy one, and she belatedly realized the effect of her touch on him. There was an interesting shadow beneath the sheets, which gave her an idea.
“I’m not.” She eased down to sit back on the bed, her hip pressed against his. Nate didn’t move away, probably because there wasn’t anywhere to go. He was between her and the wall on the narrow bed and still holding her hand.
“Does it hurt?”
Nate frowned. “Not now. It hurt like hell at the time.”
“Does it feel different?”
He considered the question for a moment. “Yes and no. Obviously, I can’t feel things with a part of my body that isn’t there anymore, but sometimes I feel like I can. They tell me it’s a memory or a phantom impression, and is pretty common. Most of the time, it just feels like my hand is gone or numb.” He shrugged. “Not reporting to home base.”
“Don’t they make mechanical hands with fingers that move?”
“Oh yeah.” He sighed with obvious yearning. “Myoelectric prostheses are seriously cool. It makes you look like a bionic man, with new powers, too.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Some of them can be programmed to move based on small motions in the residual limb.”
“Why don’t you have one of those?”
Nate laughed a little. “There are fifty or sixty thousand reasons why. I’m saving my pennies.”
“But you bought a car first.”
“True. Transportation was more important. The hand, though, will trump a house.” He watched her, his eyes gleaming in the darkness. She knew from the intensity of his expression that they would be all greeny-gold, even though she couldn’t discern their color in the light. He was smiling slightly, as if he was humoring her, and Sonia guessed that he was. “Any more questions?”
Sonia shook her head and smiled down at him. “Do you have nightmares?”