On Monday morning, Shannyn had everything set up early at F5F to film Sonia’s debut. She’d gotten into the habit of preparing in advance for everything since beginning her third trimester. Michael had made his arrival into the world without a lot of warning and there was something about having a baby in the middle of a wedding service—and knowing the second might come even faster—that made her want to be ready for anything.
Tyler was a protective bear when she was pregnant and he hadn’t been a fan of her coming down to the club to film the podcast. Not at all. But it was for Sonia, who was such a sweetheart, and Shannyn knew that no one understood lighting as well as she did. She wanted everything to be right for Sonia. It was a great chance to do some training with Desdemona, too. Once she got the filming set up and could document how she’d done it, Desdemona could replicate it for each episode.
Ty had finally agreed, though he’d brought her into town himself and was waiting in the lobby with Michael. Everyone would be masked and sanitized to the nth degree, since Ty was calling the shots—he always ensured that everyone was protected.
It was one of his traits that Shannyn most admired.
They were on the fifth floor and the morning light was wonderfully rosy. As soon as Shannyn saw Sonia’s hair color, she could envision how it would all work. Sonia, typically, refused to wear any make-up, but she was so pretty that it didn’t matter. Shannyn added a filter to the lens, just to make sure she didn’t look too pale, and set up different cameras on tripods for wide angle shots and close-ups.
“I don’t want a hand-held real-life feel,” Cassie said. “I want this to be slick.”
“I agree,” Shannyn said, indicating a point on the mat to Sonia. “Do we need to mark it, or can you find it each time?”
“There’s a little scuff here,” Sonia said. “I’ve got it.”
“I think that’s from the tape from another podcast,” Cassie said. “We want to record at least three episodes today, and broadcast the first one this afternoon. Blaine’s team have cleared the decks to do the editing as soon as we can send them something.”
“Great.” Shannyn called to Desdemona, who was quickly becoming her second-in-command. They talked tech, reviewing angles and filters, while Sonia did her stretches.
“We’ll add the music and graphics in editing, of course,” Cassie said, setting out her sketches of the layout on the mat behind them. Shannyn reviewed them and checked the angles again, then they began.
Sonia had just turned to give the camera a radiant smile of greeting when Shannyn felt the first contraction.
It was time for Desdemona to show what she could do.
It was the end of their weekly meeting and Nate thought Pierce would wrap it up. Instead, the older man leaned back in his chair and smiled a little. “But there is one more thing, isn’t there, Mack?”
Lisa blushed. “That’s not anyone else’s problem really.”
“It’s a problem for all of us if there’s a crisis at Mack’s menagerie,” Pierce said and the others started to chuckle.
“It’s not a menagerie,” she protested. “It’s more like a kennel.”
“A menagerie has many kinds of animals,” Jimmy contributed solemnly. “Not just four dogs and a queen guinea pig.”
“My husband said I should leave it alone,” Lisa admitted, flicking a glance at Nate.
“Is this about me?”
“Not yet,” Troll muttered. “Wait for it.”
“Go on,” Pierce said with a shake of his head. “Tell him but don’t be pushy.”
Mack leaned closer to the screen, her eyes shining. “There’s this dog,” she began. “She’s ex-military, just like you, honorable discharge, a bomb dog. Pierce heard that she needed a home and thought she might be helpful in our services. I offered to foster her.”
“But?” Nate invited when no one else did, sensing that there was a catch.
“She doesn’t get along with the guinea pig and I can’t stand it. The two of them are squaring off at all hours of the night, even though the guinea pig is in her tank.”
“The guinea pig versus the bomb dog,” Angel said with a shake of his head. “Sounds like a cartoon series.”
“The guinea pig bites it in the end,” Troll said and they laughed together.
Mack glared at them both. “She makes this terrified little squeal and the dog goes berserk.” She ran a hand over her forehead. “Then the other dogs get into it, it takes an hour to get everyone calmed down, then twenty minutes later they start again. I’m starting to understand the effectiveness of sleep deprivation as torture.”
“So, the dog needs another foster,” Nate concluded when no one said anything.
Mack nodded with enthusiasm.
“My daughter has allergies,” Jimmy said, raising his hands.
“I do not live with animals,” Troll said.
“He won’t even share barracks with me,” Angel said with a grin.
“I will not be responsible for another living creature,” Smoke said.
“Two cats,” Regan said, holding up two fingers. “An invitation to disaster.”
“I’m in an apartment in New York,” Pierce said. “A dog needs to run.”
“But she’s the sweetest dog—” Mack said.
“As long as there isn’t a guinea pig in the vicinity,” Jimmy added.
Mack gave him a fierce look. “Sheba treats Anastasia like a rodent.”
“Aren’t guinea pigs rodents?” Angel asked.
“Sheba’s not exactly wrong,” Jimmy agreed.
“Anastasia is my pet and she deserves not to be eaten or terrorized!” Mack protested.
Pierce shook his head again.
“It’s only temporary, guys,” Mack tried again.
There was an expectant silence.
“I was evacuated with a bomb dog,” Nate admitted, his throat a little tight just at the memory of that day. “He was great.” He’d been half out of it, probably thanks to an injection, but he recalled the solid reassuring heat of that dog—and Rex’s joy when Nate had driven to North Dakota.
He felt Pierce studying him and wondered how much that man knew of his history.
And his current personal life.
It probably wasn’t a coincidence that Mack was bringing this up in their meeting today.
“I knew you’d understand,” Mack said with enthusiasm. “I talked to the hotel and they said you could have her there, so long as she isn’t left alone in the unit.”
“As subtle as a steamroller,” Angel muttered.
Pierce held up a hand and Mack fell silent. “Don’t let her push you into it, Nate. We’ll find a foster home for the dog.”
“I’d like to have a dog,” he admitted. “But it might be better for this dog to be adopted, not fostered.”
“Volunteering?” Mack asked brightly.
“It depends on the rules of whatever apartment I rent, though. And it depends how many hours I work, because a dog shouldn’t be left home alone a lot.”
“She could come to the office with you,” Pierce said.
“She’s perfectly trained,” Mack said.
“Especially to kill rodents,” Smoke contributed and Mack glared at him.
Then she smiled for Nate. “I could bring her over…”
“Tell him the rest,” Pierce said, his voice low with command.
Mack exhaled. “She lost a paw. She was caught in an attack and they had to amputate one of her front legs. That’s why she was discharged.”
Nate looked up, intrigued. “Does she have a prosthesis?”
“Yes, but she won’t put her weight on it.”
“She doesn’t trust it,” he guessed. “Or it might hurt. Have you looked at the scar?”
Lisa gave him a look. “I’m just trying to keep my existing pets from being devoured.”
“Bring her over,” Nate said. He could help this dog—and he wanted to. “But if we get along, I won’t just foster. It’ll be for the duration. I’ll need an apartment that allows dogs and she’ll need a place at the office.”
“I can do that,” Mack said. “It’s a good thing you didn’t commit to an apartment yet. There’s a new building near a park…let me see what I can find.”
“I don’t care if it costs more,” Nate said.
“You feel strongly about this,” Pierce noted quietly.
“She served, just like me, and she deserves the best life she can have.”
“Awww. A fur-ever home,” Angel said, making a little sigh before he grinned.
“I’d smack you so hard if we were in the same room,” Mack growled and Angel laughed.
“Guess you’ll have to wait,” he taunted.
“I’m keeping a list for when you come back to the office,” she threatened and he laughed again.
“Promises, promises, Mack. I look forward to it.”
Pierce raised a hand, silencing them. “Good. Solved,” he said. “Sixty-two minutes but worth the delay, I think. Good luck with the dog, Nate.”
Ty didn’t like it.
He sucked at waiting.
He stunk at letting anyone he loved take a risk.
Shannyn, of course, wasn’t having any of his protectiveness, even when she was so pregnant that she looked ready to burst. It was part of what he loved about her, that she stood up to him and made him reconsider his assumptions, but right here, right now, he wanted her home and safe, with her feet up while they waited for baby number two to arrive.
He didn’t kid himself. Even if she’d been home, she wouldn’t have been sitting with her feet up. She’d have been bustling around, hanging pictures in the baby’s room or doing something else that made him crazy.
Of course, when she’d insisted, he’d driven her downtown, with Michael, so she could work. He appreciated Shannyn’s dedication to F5F, the club he’d helped to found, and he wanted Sonia’s podcast to succeed, but he was worried.
Michael was exploring the lobby and Ty followed behind his busy son, catching him when he would have tumbled. He spun him around in airplane rides and the sounds of Michael’s delight echoed in the otherwise empty lobby. Shannyn wasn’t the only concern on Ty’s mind—he was worried about the future of the club in this pandemic, too. They were going to have to make some hard choices, and he didn’t want to think about that.
But he did.
The glass walls of the F5F lobby shop, now closed, turned out to be a godsend in entertainment value for a toddler. In the morning light, they reflected everything, like mirrors, and Michael was fascinated.
“Dada!” he exclaimed, pointing to Ty’s reflection, then spinning around to find his father behind him. He laughed at this, as if it was a great joke, and turned back to the mirror again. “Dada,” he repeated than leaned on the glass with both hands. He put his face against the glass, looking himself in the eye, then giggled with delight. He spun around to face Ty again and wobbled on his feet, almost falling. Ty closed fast to catch him. “Mama!” he said then and Ty almost corrected him.
Then he looked in the glass and saw Shannyn closing fast, holding her belly. Her expression was resolute but she was pale. Cassie was holding her arm and helping her move quickly across the lobby.
Oh no.
“It’s time,” Shannyn said, a familiar strain in her voice. Ty’s stomach dropped in panic, but he knew the drill. Her bag was in the car. The OB/GYN’s number was at the top of his contacts list. He crossed the lobby in half a dozen steps, planning their route to the hospital which was only blocks away. He had this, but his mind was filling with all the things that could go wrong.
“Take a breath,” Shannyn chided gently, touching his cheek. “It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” She looked into his eyes and smiled reassurance. “We’ve done this before.”
They could do it a hundred times and it would never be old news for Ty.
He scooped her up in his arms, then looked at Michael, wondering how he’d carry them both.
“I’ve got him,” Cassie said, reaching to take their son’s hand. “Go, go, go. You know how fast this might be.”
“At least I made it through Jax’s wedding,” Shannyn said with a smile, but Ty was already on his way to the car.
“Get my phone out of my pocket and call Marcus,” he told her before he saw his SUV already in the front spot. Shannyn put on his mask and her own as he walked.
“I had a feeling,” Marcus said as Ty strode down the sidewalk toward him. Pedestrians parted to let him pass. He owned the parking lot beside F5F and had always been a great neighbor. He was the only one Ty ever trusted with his cars. Marcus swept open the passenger door and backed away, giving Shannyn a thumbs-up. “Good luck.”
“Thank you, Marcus,” Shannyn said, giving him a cheerful wave as Ty settled her into the passenger seat. He wasn’t feeling nearly so cheerful, but he didn’t say anything.
“Maybe a girl this time?” Marcus said.
Shannyn laughed. “It’s a secret until the baby arrives.”
Marcus chuckled and waved them on their way.
At Shannyn’s insistence, they’d asked the doctor not to tell them the baby’s gender. Shannyn believed life should have some surprises.
Ty wasn’t quite as sure of that.
She was calling her doctor by the time he’d started the car, and he squealed the tires pulling out of the lot.
“You have to remember to breathe,” she told him, then gasped, undoubtedly because of another contraction.
“That’s my line.”
“But I remember. You don’t.” She checked her watch as she gripped the phone more tightly, then exhaled. “Ninety seconds. We’ve got lots of time.”
“I doubt that,” Ty muttered and hit the gas.
Sheba was a very large German Shepherd, who seemed uncertain to Nate. She was smaller than Rex had been, both shorter and smaller in the chest. She was also jet black, with glossy fur and one ear that bent over at the top. She jumped out of Lisa’s SUV, but just as Mack had said, she didn’t put her weight on the prosthesis on her left front leg. Nate crouched down outside the hotel and let her come to him. When she headed toward him, Mack dropped the leash, remaining by the car to watch. The dog was well-trained then, but Nate hadn’t expected anything different. Sheba sniffed Nate’s hand and wagged, then sniffed the Hook and looked him in the eye.
Her eyes were tawny and very expressive. He could almost feel her despair.
And he was a goner.
“She seems sad,” he said.
“Her handler died in the attack,” Mack admitted.
Just like Rex.
“She’s five,” Mack added.
Nate reached out to scratch Sheba’s ear and after a moment, she leaned into it, her gaze on the ground. “Big changes, huh, girl?” he murmured. “I know how that goes.” He told her to sit, then examined the prosthesis. “Does she have a vet?”
“There’s one at the center. I’m not sure how much he knows about prostheses, though.”
“I’m going to guess that this one isn’t as secure as might be ideal,” Nate said. “That would explain why she doesn’t trust it.” He removed it and felt around the stump, noting when the dog flinched. “And I think she has a blister from it.”
“That would explain her reluctance to put her weight on it.”
“Since she isn’t using it anyway, let’s take it off.” He rubbed her ear again and she leaned against his leg, as if she’d decided he was all right. As far as Nate was concerned, one look into those eyes had sealed the deal. “We can talk to the pros, Sheba, and see if we can get you fixed up. No licking that blister or it’ll be the cone of shame for you.” He picked up the leash and stood up. “What does she eat?”
Mack’s face lit with her smile. “I have all her stuff and I’ve, you know, bought her a bit more.”
Nate chuckled.
“She didn’t have any toys!”
“Not a lot of time to play in a warzone.”
“Well, she’s not there now,” Mack said fiercely. “It’s time she had some fun.”
“What do you know about her handler?”
“Not much. Just that. He didn’t have a wife or kids.”
“So, no one wanted Sheba.” He thought of Rex again. That dog had been lucky, but he could change this one’s luck right here and right now. “What do you say, girl? Should we be a team?”
Sheba tilted her head when she spoke, and it seemed that she understood. She gave a little bark, then stood beside him, facing Mack.
A team.
Mack looked between the two of them. “Do you want me to find out about the handler’s family?”
“No, it’s good. She’s got me now. If they want to get in touch, we can do that, but they clearly don’t want her.” Nate had a look at the prosthesis. “If you could bring me some tools, I might be able to modify this a bit. We’ll need something for that blister, too.”
“In the bag,” Mack said and smiled. “I packed in the spirit of optimism.”
“I like that.”
Mack shook a finger at him. “Remind me to never visit a shelter with you.”
“Why?”
“We’re both pushovers. We’d end up bringing all the dogs home.”
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” Nate said and Mack grinned. He laughed and Sheba looked up at the sound. Her ears pricked a bit and Nate grinned at her. “We’re going to be just fine, girl,” he said. “You just wait and see.”
And she wagged her tail, just once, as if she wanted to believe but wasn’t quite sure.
Nate could work with that.
Cassie carried Michael into the hospital on Monday evening, bracing him on one hip. In her other hand, she carried a take-out box from Reid’s place in the lobby at F5F. The bodega wasn’t technically open, but they were preparing take-out and food boxes there for the employees of the club. Reid had stayed home with Marty, only having reluctantly surrendered the argument about accompanying her. It was better for the baby to keep away from the hospital during the pandemic, and Cassie wanted to see Ty and Shannyn herself.
There had been a time when she’d thought Ty was the only man for her, then Shannyn had stolen his heart away. It was only after Cassie had connected with Reid again that she’d realized she’d never love Ty the way she adored Reid, and that they could never have been so good together.
Still, she didn’t mind peeking in at the life she didn’t have. It was a good reminder that she’d landed exactly where she needed to be.
She’d given Michael dinner and he was sleepy, plus a lot heavier than Marty at a year older. She had to believe that Shannyn had delivered already, given the speed of Michael’s arrival, and she was right—the nurse on the desk informed her that Ms. Hawke had been moved to a room in the maternity ward. Cassie took an empty elevator upstairs, fully expecting to find Ty with Shannyn.
He was. He looked tired but happy, rocking the new baby in the dim light by Shannyn’s bed. Shannyn was asleep, a drip in her arm, and Ty’s suit jacket was thrown across the foot of the bed. His tie was loosened and he was murmuring to the new arrival. Cassie stood in the doorway for a minute, just watching them together.
Who would have guessed all those years ago, when the friends had joined together to start a fitness club, that they’d all be happily married with kids by now—and loving every minute of it?
“Dada,” Michael said, stirring and seeing his father. He stretched out a hand toward Ty.
Ty looked up and smiled. He brought the baby to Cassie, rocking him all the while. “Joshua,” he said softly. “Meet your big brother, Michael, and my friend, Cassie.” The baby squeezed his eyes shut and emitted a small cry, his little fist shaking.
“Maybe he was hoping to be an only child,” Cassie said quietly.
Ty grinned. “It’s probably the light.”
“Hi Joshua,” Cassie said softly, touching the back of his small hand. Babies were such miracles and each one just melted her heart. She looked up at Ty. “Everything good?”
“Great. Terrific APGAR.” He widened his eyes. “Lightning fast delivery.”
“Shannyn gets it done,” Cassie said with a measure of envy. “None of this twenty hours of labor crap for her.”
“I don’t know,” Ty said. “At least you have time to get to the hospital.”
“Did you make it today?”
“Barely. We didn’t get to the ER but she was on a gurney this time.” Ty smiled, not looking troubled in the least, probably because all had gone well.
“Dada!” Michael insisted, reaching out both hands.
“Hi Cassie,” Shannyn said sleepily. “Give him here, Ty.” He nestled the baby into her arms and Joshua’s mouth pursed immediately. Ty helped Shannyn to sit up, then came back to lift Michael from Cassie’s arms.
“Your brother is going to have a little snack,” Ty said to his older son. “Then we’ll have to find some supper, too.” Michael settled against him to doze, and Ty wrapped him in a blanket, settling back into the chair.
“With Reid’s compliments,” Cassie said, putting the box down on the tray. “Michael ate already but there are some of the cookies in there that he liked.”
The toddler’s eyes opened a little bit as he fought against sleep. “Cookie?”
“Maybe just one,” Ty said with indulgence. “Special occasion and all that.”
Cassie opened the box and gave Michael a cookie, then set out dinner for Ty and Shannyn. “Meatloaf with mushroom gravy was the house special today, with mashed potatoes. Michael liked it. Well, not the mushrooms.”
“Comfort food,” Ty said with a smile.
“It smells wonderful,” Shannyn said, looking a little more alert. Cassie remembered being ravenous after Marty had been delivered.
“Thanks Cassie,” Ty said with a warm smile. “Thank Reid, too.”
“When are you going home?”
“Probably tomorrow,” Shannyn said, glancing down as the baby nursed. “It’ll be good to be home again.”
“Home sweet home,” Ty agreed and took a bite of meatloaf. “This is great.” He waved the fork at Shannyn. “You want some?”
“Just a bite or two before you eat it all,” Shannyn said.
“A girl next time?” Cassie teased and they laughed together.
“Maybe we’ll leave that up to you,” Ty said.
“Maybe I’ve already got it covered,” Cassie said, touching her stomach.
“No! When?” Shannyn asked with delight.
“Christmas or so.”
Shannyn held up crossed fingers and they laughed together. “Maybe next time,” she said, giving Ty a mischievous glance. His gaze heated as he watched her, both of them obviously still crazy in love. The sight made Cassie feel good. She said goodnight and withdrew, her footsteps quick in the corridor as she headed to her own home sweet home.
It wouldn’t be long until she made another visit to the obstetrics ward. Would Marty have a brother or a sister? Cassie couldn’t wait to know for sure. Maybe Shannyn was right about having a surprise on the day. Maybe she’d ask the doctor not to tell her the baby’s gender in advance.
It didn’t really matter either way. She knew that their second child would bring as much light and love into their lives as Marty had, and that was the biggest blessing of all.
She really had to get home to her men.
That night, after his coursework was done and he’d made burgers for himself and Sheba, Nate checked out the new cable channel for Flatiron Five Fitness. Sheba wasn’t shy. She’d eaten a burger as well as her kibble, and jumped up on the couch beside him as soon as he turned on the television. She brought a tennis ball up on the couch and dropped it beside her paw. It was lime green and wet, obviously a favorite already. Nate had thrown it outside earlier and she’d been carrying it around ever since.
“I used to work at this place,” he told her. He was already in the habit of talking to her, since she seemed to listen. In less than a day, she’d brightened considerably. They’d gone for two walks, and then a short run together. Nate had rubbed salve into the blister and would work on modifying the harness later.
Right now, he wanted to check in on Sonia’s new podcast.
It was amazing to see how many of his former co-workers had started podcasts and were being featured by the club. He knew that the club was setting it up and encouraging people to teach, but he hadn’t expected the variety. There were sessions from nutritionists and dieticians, gentle exercise for pregnant women and new moms, cardio workouts of all levels including Lyssa’s HIIS. There were classes for stretching, yoga, and weight lifting, programs to greet the morning and sessions for ending the day. The course list echoed the diversity of options at the club itself and it was easy to see that they’d have to add more channels soon.
He quickly found what he was looking for, because it was highlighted on the homepage as being new. Yoga 101 with Sonia—Become Who You Were Born To Be. Nate figured he might as well participate since he pretty much sucked at yoga. He changed and moved the coffee table so he’d have extra space.
Sheba watched with her tennis ball from her perch on the couch.
Nate immediately recognized one of the yoga rooms at the club. Morning sunlight streamed through the windows, the city sparkling in the distance. There was one person on the mat, her hair swept up in a ponytail. It was Sonia, dressed in a black tank top and tights, the F5F logo on the front. He was impressed that her midriff was bare, because usually she covered it up. She looked happy and confident, which made him feel like he’d been part of a good change. She was doing some warm-up stretches as the camera eased closer and Nate did the same.
“Hi,” she said, turning to the camera with a smile that made Nate’s heart go boom. He thought about her whispered confession in the darkness and told himself to just forget it. He couldn’t, though. He wanted so much for it to be true. “I’m Sonia,” she said. “I teach yoga at Flatiron Five Fitness when the club is open, but this is my first time doing it in a video.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m a bit nervous.”
“Don’t be,” someone said from the other side of the camera and Nate recognized Cassie’s voice.
Sonia laughed. “That’s my boss,” she confided. She really had a natural poise with the camera. “One of the people who encouraged me to do this.”
“Guilty as charged,” Cassie said and the camera spun around so that she could wave to the viewers. As always, Cassie wore black yoga gear, but her tank said #MeToo.
Really? Cassie was so strong and forthright that it was hard for Nate to believe anyone had ever taken advantage of her.
The camera turned back to Sonia who was sitting cross-legged.
“Our plan is for this yoga podcast to be a bit different,” she said. “I want it to be about your entire personal journey, not just about learning some yoga moves. Do you love the person you see in the mirror? I didn’t, not for the longest time, so I’ve been there and done that. A big part of what made the difference for me was regular yoga practice. It’s not about how your body looks—it’s about how you feel. When you feel stronger and you stand taller, your perspective changes, your mind clears, and often the world responds to the change in you.”
She gestured and the camera angle widened. There were now two people sitting on the mat behind Sonia: Meesha and Jacquie. Jacquie looked like her usual calm self in her black yoga gear while Meesha was beaming in brilliant pink.
“Two friends are joining me today,” Sonia said, gesturing to Meesha. “My co-worker, Meesha, is hoping for a little more flexibility.” Meesha raised her hands and rocked her hips, making it clear what kind of flexibility she was after. Nate couldn’t help but smile. He missed Meesha’s enthusiasm. “My co-worker, Jacquie, wants to be rid of the last of her mommy tummy.” Jacquie patted her belly which looked fine to Nate. “It’s not about what you see when you look at them,” Sonia said, as if she’d heard his thoughts. “This class is about each of us actualizing what we want for ourselves.” She looked earnest and Nate had the sense not only that she was speaking directly to him, but that she cared about his well-being. This was her gift and part of the reason her classes were popular.
The camera closed in on Sonia again. “You’ll want to watch the episodes of this podcast in order, as each session will build on the previous one. If you think the work-out is gradually going to get tougher, you’re right. You can repeat sessions that are harder for you and make sure you’re ready to move on. Take it at your own pace. You can find all of the sessions right here, forever.” She pointed down and a website url appeared at the bottom of the screen. “We’ll start with lots of stretching, suitable for beginners. We’ll talk about the poses and the breathing as we go, as well as what you might be feeling. Please remember to be kind to yourself. Change takes time and patience.”
“You can’t hurry love,” Meesha said and Sonia smiled.
“Something like that. If you need to take a break, that’s okay. Listen to your body: it will tell you when you’ve done enough. It’s better to err on the side of caution in this. Don’t bounce when you stretch and don’t push too hard. If you come back every day and just try, we’ll make progress together.” She smiled. “Trust me on that.”
Sonia stood up, moving with that elegant grace, shook her hands and rolled her shoulders. Without thinking about it, Nate mimicked her gestures. “My favorite thing about yoga is that doing your best is enough. It’s actually more than enough. All you need to do is show up regularly and try. Choose a time that is good for you, a time that you can regularly dedicate to taking care of yourself. If you keep trying, your best will improve over time, as mine did. When I started out, I could barely manage the simplest stretches, the ones that are easy for me now. But we need to make gentle progress. If you feel your heart beating quickly or your face getting hot, just pause and take a couple of breaths before you continue. If something hurts, please stop.”
She beckoned and the camera zoomed in closer. “Let’s start with some breathing. We’ll do this with every session. It’s a great way to shake off whatever has been happening in your day and focus. Stand straight on your mat. You should be comfortable. Relax and pay attention to your body. Is your back straight? Are your shoulders back? Imagine an invisible string pulling upward from the top of your head, making you taller and straighter. Ease your shoulders back and tuck in your stomach, holding your core in place.” Her voice became melodic, almost meditative, and she spoke more slowly. Nate heard a little bit of music in the background. “Take a breath, inhaling through your nose, and feel it fill your lungs. Feel it push your ribs open. Hold that breath for a moment and notice how it feels. When you exhale, do it through your mouth, very slowly.” Sonia did this. “Close your eyes and take six deep breaths, listening to your body as you do so. We’ll move our hands out and back with each breath. Inhale slowly now…and hold it for a moment, then exhale, blowing through your mouth. Good. And again.”
For a moment, they just breathed. On the sixth breath, Sonia spoke again. “I breathe like this whenever I need to center myself,” she confided. “After I have a nightmare, for example, or when I’m worried about something beyond my control. I just breathe in and out like this, and it helps.”
There it was, the first hint that she had some vulnerabilities. Nate doubted he was the only one to notice—or the only one who was ready to take her side.
Sonia was unhurried but had to be keeping to a schedule. She guided her viewers through a series of poses, giving advice and checks, just the way he would do with weights. Nate felt more confident than he ever had in yoga class. He also warmed up over the course of the class, and felt that he’d had a bit of a workout. The forty-five minutes went quickly.
“Good job,” Sonia said, in a sitting position facing the camera. There was a bit of perspiration on the front of her tank top and her cheeks were pink. “Close your eyes for one final breath. Inhale and take an inventory of your body. Are you tired in some places? Do you feel like you’ve had a good stretch? Are you relaxed? Exhale and compare how you feel now to how you felt at the beginning of the class. I hope you feel better and stronger.” Her smile flashed and her eyes lit. “I do.”
“Totally,” Meesha said.
“Me, too,” Jax agreed.
“You have a small homework assignment, too, because change isn’t just physical.” Sonia spoke to the camera. “Think about what you would like to see when you look in the mirror. Do you want to be able to touch your toes? Do you want to have more energy? How much? Identify a goal and quantify it. You don’t have to share your objective with anyone, but you might want to write it down and place it somewhere where you see it each day. I think it’s better to start small because when you meet one goal, you can always set another. If your goal is a long way away, you can lose heart on the way to it, even if you’re making progress. There’s a lot to be said for incremental progress that can be celebrated.”
She became serious. “Here’s an example from my own journey. When I started yoga, I wanted to lose quite a lot of weight, but I made my first goal a step, not the entire journey. My first objective was to lose twenty pounds. I wrote that down and put it under my alarm clock, so I could read it every morning and every night. I bought a dress I really liked that I knew would fit me at that weight and I hung it on the closet door, in plain sight, for inspiration. It took longer than I’d hoped, but I did it, and I wore that dress when I did. I felt like I’d conquered the world, then I set another goal. So, think about your first goal and make it one that you believe you can achieve. Think of the reward you’ll give yourself and make it a good one. Having an incentive helps. Loving yourself is a powerful tool for change.”
Sonia stood up for one last stretch. As she reached for the ceiling, she continued to speak quietly. “There may be emotional reasons why you want to make a change. You may have scars: they might be visible or they might be hidden deep inside you. That doesn’t change how much they influence you or your choices.” As she stretched, she turned around. Her hands came down her sides and she slid down the top of her tights to reveal the scar around her hips. “Here’s one of mine that is visible sometimes,” She looked over her shoulder at the camera. “When I lost the weight, I had to have my excess skin removed. This scar has a partner, up a little higher. There’s no reason to be ashamed of your scars. They’re part of what makes you who you are.” She smiled a little. “Think of them as battle wounds, proof that you’ve survived something tough. Own them and the experience that gave them to you. And never be afraid to ask for help. It takes strength to admit you need anything, but we all move forward by helping each other.”
“Make the world a better place,” Meesha interjected and Sonia’s smile lit her eyes.
“Exactly. And start with the person you see in the mirror each morning. Thank you for joining me today,” she said, turning back to the camera. “I’m honored to share your journey with you.” She pointed down and a website address appeared at the bottom of the screen again. “Send me a picture of you at the end of our first class. We’ll share some on the social media for F5F or you can open an online account with the club to track your personal progress.”
“We’ll pick a winner for every fifty photos,” Cassie prompted off-camera.
Sonia raised a hand to her lips. “Thanks, Cassie. I almost forgot. We have notebooks available in the F5F online store, and we’ll give one away for every fifty photos submitted by midnight tomorrow. They’re really pretty.” The image cut to the notebook in question, which was black imitation leather with Sonia’s logo on the front in pink script. “We chose to have a journal first, since it’s so helpful to write down what you’re thinking and feeling as you move toward change.” She laughed a little. “I filled enough journals to load up a bookcase. On tomorrow’s podcast, I’ll tell you more about what led me to Flatiron Five Fitness and yoga. In the meantime, send me your pictures and show me the beginning of your journey.”
The url flashed.
“I hope to see you next time. Until then, be kind and be well.” Sonia waved and Nate almost waved back.
“Send us those pictures!” Meesha added and they laughed together.
The banner at the bottom of the screen with the link to Sonia’s podcast moved up the screen to make room for the schedule for her upcoming classes. The club was broadcasting them daily, simultaneously on the cable channel and the YouTube channel, and then they would be available in an archive.
On impulse, he took a selfie and sent it to F5F, then he sent a text to Sonia, congratulating her on her first class. He just wanted to be encouraging. He knew it hadn’t been easy for her to get to this point, and he thought she’d done a brilliant job.
Friends cheered each other on.
Nate didn’t expect a reply, but he was wrong. His phone chimed right away.