The first day my eyes met Chase, I knew I was in for it. I even knew the crush I had on him was eventually going to lead to something more, but since I was so young, I didn’t know what that meant.
I realized I first loved Chase when I was twelve-years-old. A girl from our school named, Amanda Kylie–yes, the famous Amanda from the bar who was in love with her French boyfriend–had a birthday party at a roller skating rink. All the kids from our class were invited, and of course, we all went.
Chase and I were actually getting dropped off by his mom. His aunt was also in the car because she had plans with her sister to go shopping once they’d drop us off. And since the kids had to sit in the back to give the adult passengers the seat in the front, Chase was sitting just inches away from me.
My hands felt sweaty the whole way there. I kept wondering if he felt the same pull toward me that I felt toward him. At just twelve-years-old, the intensity of my wanting him was a simple kiss. I had so many daydreams of sharing my first kiss with him and holding his hand. I looked over at him from the corner of my eye, but he didn’t even realize it. He didn’t notice my longing for him.
It was the quickest twenty minutes of my life. I didn’t want to leave the car and part from him. I wanted to continue sitting next to him; my longing heart wanted more of him.
I was hoping he’d grab my hand and help me out of the car, but instead, he jumped out, shouting, “C’mon, Riles… we’re going to be late.”
I followed him out of the car and raced inside right behind him. His mom yelled from the window that she would be back in three hours when the party would end to pick us up.
We spent all afternoon skating. The colorful disco lights and blaring pop music radiated off the walls. Everyone was having a great time, skating and laughing with their friends.
As the party went on, I kept watching Chase skate circles around most of our friends. He was a natural, always the athletic type, not even mattering what kind of sport it was. Anything he tried, he’d excel.
The girls naturally crowded around him. He was the most popular kid in school. Everyone knew Chase; I was just lucky enough to call him my best friend.
“Riles, you okay? Here, grab my hand, let me help you up,” he had said as he was passing by me, noticing that I had taken a nasty fall.
The world around me went into a fog, and all I could see were his amazing dark brown irises staring back into mine.
As I reached for his hand, he extended it further and helped me to my feet. The soft and warmth of it brought tingles to my whole body as shivers overtook me. It was at that very moment that I knew my feelings for Chase were more than just a simple crush. That was the instant I realized it was love.
I was in love with Chase Martins.
After all this time, it had finally dawned on me that it wasn’t just a harmless crush, but something that would consume me whole for the rest of my life. Never once had my feelings for him subsided. Never once had I ever lost even the tiniest bit of interest in him. It was always about Chase. It had always been about Chase, and it would always be about Chase.
He smiled at me as I found my balance on the skates, letting go of his hand. I tried steadying myself a few times, lost balance and almost wound up on the floor yet again. I looked up at him, wanting to show my gratitude toward him for being so nice, but I couldn’t think to form the words, “thank you.” I had completely lost all sense of rhyme or reason.
Picking up on my lack of coordination, he smiled again saying, “Here, Dimples. Take my hand again, and let’s skate together ’til you get the hang of it.”
We ended up skating together for the rest of the night, and to me, that was more than I could have ever dreamt about. He held my hand the whole time, helping me make my way around the large rink time and time again. We laughed and had a blast. It was a day I’d never forget. It was the day I fell in love.
The following day, we were up and out on the road by 11 a.m. I kept sneaking glances over at him as he drove down the highway. I didn’t think he noticed me looking at him, when all of a sudden he took me by surprise.
“You doing okay this morning, Dimples?”
“Huh?” I asked, pretending to be indulged on the scenery before us.
He chuckled.
“You’re in your own world again, like you’re deep in thought. Plus, I’ve seen you looking at me from the corner of my eye. You sure all is okay?” he asked, diverting his attention from me to the road.
I had never said all was okay, but I guess he was just assuming because when it came to this, I had never had the courage to tell him it was always about him.
It always had to do with Chase Martins.
I smiled at him, not really knowing what to say. I wanted to tell him how I felt; the secret inside of me was beginning to eat me up whole. We never had kept secrets between one another the whole time we’d been best friends. This was the one and only thing that stood between us.
Then, I surprised myself. I said something I never thought I would ever be able to say to him.
“Chase, what makes them all different?”
He quickly darted his eyes over at me.
“What are you talking about, Riles?”
I cleared my throat, pushed the hair that had been sitting on my left shoulder off to the back, and spoke again.
“What makes Brittany different from all the rest… from me?”
I made those last two words almost unheard, but I knew he had heard them.
“Brittany is the love of my life. She’s different from all the rest of the women I’ve dated. You know that,” he said, sort of on the defense.
He hadn’t mentioned me. Maybe he hadn’t heard me sneak it in there, after all. Fuck. I was never going to be able to repeat myself again. That was a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and I had just blown my shot.
Before I could say anything more, he darted over to the right side of the road.
“Shit! I almost missed our exit, but I got it. You getting hungry? I figured we could stop around here for lunch. Burgers okay?” he asked, as if nothing had happened.
“Burgers are fine,” I answered glumly.
He pulled into a parking lot of the first diner he found, and parked his vehicle. Before I could get out of the car, he was already at my side of the door, opening it for me. He reached his hand to help me out, completely reminding me of the day at the roller skating rink.
My eyes met his, and I felt myself getting lost in them. God, he was so beautiful. And sweet. And charming. And amazing. And, oh God… he was perfect. He was everything. Everything to me.
He chuckled once more, still waiting for me to take his proffered hand.
“Come on, Dimples.”
His smile was captivating, burning into my soul. I imagined him lying me down on a bed, smiling at only me. He’d run his hand across my forehead to push the hair away and caress my face.
“Dimples?” he asked once more, bringing me out of my daydream.
I quickly shook my head, grabbed his hand, and let him help me out of the car.