My parents were tragically killed in a car crash when I was just twenty-three-years-old. I had spent the whole day in tears, crying to myself, not having a care in the world. As soon as Chase got the word, he came running right over. Thank God he had keys to my apartment, because I don’t think I would have heard the doorbell or knocks on my door over my uncontrollable sobbing.
Losing one parent is hard enough. Losing both parents at the same time is a damned near killer itself.
“Oh, Dimples,” he said, placing his arms around me, taking me into his embrace. “I am so sorry, Riles.”
“How could this happen? How could it? I just don’t understand!” I bawled into his chest, drenching his gray shirt.
It was all Chase could do to place a hand on my head, rubbing it, trying his best to comfort me.
“I know, Riles, I know,” he said, offering as much support as he could.
“Come here, Riley. Let’s take a seat,” he added, willing me to sit on the microfiber sofa.
“Why do these things happen, Chase? Why my parents? They were such good people. Why does God do these things?” I asked beginning to question my faith.
“Shhh,” he began shushing me. “Sometimes things happen that we may never understand. The death of loved ones is one of those things. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier or something, but it never does. You’ll always feel that emptiness in your heart, no matter how much time passes.”
If anyone knew how it felt to lose a parent, it was Chase. His father had passed away just two years prior due to a massive heart attack. At that time when he was dealing with the most difficult point in his life, I had been there for him, every single day, making sure he was okay. Now, he was doing the same for me. The bond between us could never be broken.
Or so I thought.
And then, as if on cue, his cell phone rang.
He pulled it out of his pocket and said, “Fuck. Hold on a sec, Dimples.”
He moved his embrace away from me to answer his phone.
“Baby, all okay?” he asked.
Chase had met Brittany about two weeks ago. They had been moving quickly, already resorting to cute little nicknames for one another that made me want to hurl.
“Seriously? Well, is anyone there that can help you right now? I’m with Riles and–”
What the hell did she want? She had just walked into his life and was already trying to pull him away from me. But I couldn’t handle it on a day like today.
I needed Chase. I needed him here with me. My parents had just been tragically killed. I had spent a good majority of the day crying over their lifeless bodies. I was hoping that the doctors would be able to save at least my mother. But they were both gone. Dad had been killed upon impact, but Mom was fighting for her life until she couldn’t fight any longer. I lost her about an hour after she had been transported to the hospital.
“Yeah, I know Puffs means the world to you, but Riley just lost both of her…”
Puffs? Her freakin’ Bichon Frise? I had heard all about her yappy mutt from the moment Chase had begun telling me about his first two dates with Brittany. Whenever he’d wind up at her apartment–and yes, it killed me to hear all about it–the damn dog would start humping his leg. Was her dog more important than me?
“Yes, sweetheart, I understand, but you see… no, of course, I don’t want you to cry. Okay, okay. Give me ten minutes. I’ll be right there.”
Hanging up the phone, he looked at my red, tear-stained face and pouted.
“Oh, Dimples. It kills me to do this, but–”
Immediately, I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear about it. I had been through enough that day. I couldn’t take any more. I knew now where we stood.
“Go. It’s fine. I’ll be fine,” I firmly said.
“I hate leaving you when you’re so devastated. This isn’t fair. I feel like I’m stuck.”
“Chase, just go. Brittany is important to you. Her dog means everything to her. Go. Whatever happened with him, go deal with it. I’ll still be here.”
I got up off the couch and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I pushed my back against it, feeling the tears beginning to well up.
Knock, knock.
A rap on the door made me jump a bit, but I should have known he wouldn’t have just left without even saying goodbye. Even if she obviously meant more to him than I ever would.
“Dimples, I am so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I will go help her find Puffs and come right back. I’ll explain everything to her. I’m sorry.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I tried to act as if all were okay.
“Chase, you have nothing to be sorry about. Go ahead. I’m okay.”
I was lying to the one person who meant the world to me. He was seriously going to leave me at a time like this when all I wanted to do was scream out to him not to go. How was I going to get through the night without him comforting me? He was the only person I wanted right by my side at any given moment. Now, I needed him more than ever, and he was about to walk away.
“Okay,” I heard him say.
Moments later, I heard my front door open and shut behind him.
He was gone.
That night, we went back to another hotel to get some rest. We would be arriving in Vixen Falls the following day by two in the afternoon, as long as we didn’t leave the hotel after ten in the morning.
This time, I was going to be careful not to let myself slip or think I could comfort him in bed. I was going to keep my distance. I didn’t like how he regretted and resented everything that had happened the previous night. He had seemed so willing, as if he had honestly wanted to take that next step. I hadn’t been the one to initiate anything, yet he had made me feel as if I had done something wrong.
I placed my bag on the floor underneath the desk and plopped onto the bed closest to the window. I propped some pillows against the headboard and leaned all the way back against it.
“You wanna watch a movie?” Chase asked.
It was still pretty early, just past nine o’clock, and we had just finished dinner downstairs in the hotel dining area.
“Sure, anything good on?” I asked.
Watching a movie would be harmless. This I could do.
He walked over to me, handing me a glass of wine. We had stopped just before arriving here to pick up some drinks. He had said since we were almost there, we could spend a night just to unwind. I figured it was something I needed.
“Thanks,” I responded.
He nodded, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. As much as I wanted him to get off and go sit on his bed, I wished deep within my heart that I could feel his sweet caresses on my body once more. Just because I knew it was wrong and that it wasn’t going to happen again didn’t mean that my love and desire for him would ever subside.
After renting a romantic comedy–go figure–he moved all the way back, lining his body up parallel to mine.
Could this man torture me any more than he already was? I could smell his amazing scent, and peered at his beautiful face from the corner of my eye. He currently had his mouth on the tip of his cup, and all I wanted was to feel those tender, full lips all over me.
As the movie progressed, we drained our cups a few times before deciding to call it quits. He took the last sip before placing his cup onto the nightstand that was closest to his.
“I can’t believe I’m going to be getting engaged tomorrow… as long as she’ll say yes,” he began.
“She’s going to say yes, Chase. What woman in her right state of mind wouldn’t say yes to becoming your wife?”
Fuck. He had turned to look at me, questioning what I had just blurted out.
“What are you saying, Dimples?” he asked, using the nickname he had for me once more.
“Any woman would be lucky to have you in her life, to be with you…” I added.
This time, he turned his body to me, grabbed my hands, making me turn to face him as well.
“Truthfully, Dimples… are you saying if it were you, you’d say yes?”
I swallowed a hard lump that had formed in my throat. I couldn’t lie to him anymore as his eyes bore into mine. What difference would it make though? Whether I’d say yes or no, he’d still be going off to propose to Brittany.
I shrugged my shoulders and decided what the hell.
“Of course, I’d say yes.”
His eyes widened. A small smile graced his face, and I couldn’t help but think how beautiful he looked at that very moment.
I wanted to tug on his beard and pull him into me.
And right before I knew it, his free hand grabbed the other side of my cheek as he forced his lips onto mine. I knew I should stop him, I knew it was probably the alcohol taking over his decision making, but at the same time, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted him so badly. I knew there would probably be repercussions in the morning, but this was probably going to be the last time I would ever feel his touch. He was going to get engaged tomorrow, and I would be standing alone once again, watching from the sidelines.
He pushed his body on top of mine, forcing me to lie down underneath him. He quickly removed my clothing in between moans and chopped breaths among kisses. I lay there completely naked as he took control of my body, demanding me to give into him. I allowed his mouth to follow his hands and travel all over my body. I could feel my core calling out to him, aching with each passing moment that it was being denied attention. As if reading my mind, his hand played back and forth over my most sensitive part, as my juices laced his fingers. I watched him as he placed them into his mouth tasting me. It drove me completely over the edge, which he immediately picked up on. He placed his mouth on me then, driving me absolutely insane.
After I fell from the high he caused me, I thought he was going to back away. Instead, he rapidly removed his shorts and boxers, and rammed himself into me. I was still sensitive from just having found my release, but he took advantage causing me the utmost pleasure. He slammed into me time and time again, placing kisses on my neck and chest as he worked my body over.
We went at it again and again, falling asleep around four in the morning, wrapped in one another’s embrace. It was the most blissful night we had ever spent together, even surpassing the first night when we gave into our temptations and desires.
The following morning before even opening my eyes, the events of the previous night came flooding back to me. I wanted to smile so badly, but I knew that today, everything would change. He was going to propose to his fiancée, and I was probably already in bed alone just like the first night.
But as I went to move and stretch my arms, I felt his arms still tightly wrapped around my body. His embrace was warm and felt like home. I wanted to cry tears of happiness. We had both slipped and fallen once more, not caring about anything else. We had both wanted it. We had both given in. And now, we were both lying in the same bed, naked, tangled up in one another.