There are a lot of competing voices in my head. But I think the biggest discovery I’ve made is that when it comes to eating, and maybe some of the other addictions in my life, it’s more about the voice that’s not in my head. Which is to say, so much of the behavior is automatic—just eating or drinking for the sake of eating or drinking. I feel like if I can be more mindful in those moments and force some sort of inner dialogue into the behavior—Why are you eating that? Why are you drinking that?—I might actually be able to get a handle on the situation.
In my last call with Erik before Hell Week, he told me that my overarching goal for the week was to stay positive. “Super Dave,” he called me. I have a lot of negative voices in my head, so it wasn’t easy, but I managed to do it. One example: the Monday of Hell Week my father was coming around for dinner. I’d made meatballs the night before, and I’d accidentally added too much salt. My tendency in the past would have been to make a big fuss over the fact, saying “I’m sorry if the meatballs are too salty,” etc. Instead, I just served the meal and kept it positive. “Great meatballs,” my father said. That’s how it went all week long. My positive attitude set the tone for every interaction, and I came away feeling really good about myself.