The next morning, Ellie checked the mirror once more and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Smiling to herself, she couldn’t help but think how mortified her mother would be if she were here right now. In the time Ellie had stayed with her after the accident, all she’d heard was how the real Ellie would never be caught in public with a ponytail in her hair and no makeup on her face.
Today, she had applied a touch of mascara to go with her lip gloss. And though she’d stopped there, Ellie had debated putting on a full face of concealer, foundation, and bronzer to help hide her scars from Landon’s attentive eye. But in the end, she’d decided wearing all that makeup for riding seemed a bit much and might give Landon the wrong idea.
Making her way outside, Ellie closed her eyes and lifted her face to the warmth of the sun. Birds still sung from high atop the trees that dotted the landscape. Their voices had been the first thing she’d heard upon waking this morning, and she suspected they’d be with her the whole day long. She liked that, knowing she could count on something.
Ellie approached the corral with a slight spring in her step, made even springier by the fact she still had a bit of a limp. Her favorite horse, Penny, lifted her head from where she stood grazing on the far side of the enclosure. There were a few other horses in the pen with Penny who glanced Ellie’s way, only briefly interrupted from their morning grazing routine. Liz had told her they had several large pastures dispersed across the ranch and that that’s where a lot of the horses would be. Most stayed in the larger pens on the opposite side of the property where they could enjoy the fresh grass and a broader expanse of land. They were only brought up to the smaller pens for very specific reasons like injury, pregnancy, or rehabilitation. The latter was the case for Penny, and even though Ellie would miss being able to see the gentle brown mare from her cabin window, she sincerely hoped that Penny would soon find herself in the bigger pasture with the others.
Despite arriving at the exact time Landon had specified, Ellie couldn’t find him anywhere. Remembering that patience was, indeed, a virtue—even though she secretly wished she could have grabbed a few more minutes sleep—she loped over to the fence to spend some time with the horses as she waited. She leaned against the top rail and put her hand out to see if she could coax any of them over. She half expected to get bitten, but the other half of her knew just how silly that fear was.
Her dad had told Ellie that she used to love being around horses, otherwise she’d never have let him convince her to check in at the ranch. Even though her emotional memory was badly broken, her muscle memory would take over once she hopped on the saddle. Oh, she hoped that would be the case! Otherwise, catching up on Liz’s three re’s would be even harder than expected.
As Ellie tried to remember what the third re stood for, a light colored horse stepped toward her with spindly knees. Ellie’s heart raced as it drew near, but as soon as she was able to see it up close, a refreshing calmness washed over her. There was no mistaking the gentleness in this creature’s eyes. Although it had huge teeth and strong legs, it would never knowingly hurt her. She knew that now.
“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest thing ever?” Ellie cooed as she reached up to stroke the horse’s long neck.
The gentle animal stepped closer, obviously enjoying the attention as he pushed his head onto her shoulder. Ellie laughed and moved one hand to the other side of his neck to make sure she gave equal attention to the whole expanse of coarse, scratchy hair. She leaned her head into the warmth of his and let herself enjoy the feeling of peace that came over her.
“I guess my dad was right,” Ellie said with a laugh of disbelief. She would never have believed she’d feel such a strong bond with these animals, but even these few stolen moments with this gentle creature had shown her just how much she must have always loved them.
No longer afraid, Ellie hauled herself over the fence, careful not to rattle any of her still healing bones. It hurt, but a good kind of hurt—a familiar hurt. She moved up beside the horse and stroked his sides as his tail whipped back and forth in an attempt to keep the bugs away.
As much as she was enjoying the company of this horse, Ellie still found herself seeking out Penny on the opposite side of the enclosure. Poor thing! She could even see the fear in the horse’s eyes from here, and she would give anything to be the one to make her feel better at last, to move toward the life she deserved, the one she was owed.
Creeping toward her with the utmost care, Ellie put her hands out in front to show that she had nothing that could hurt her—just as she had seen Landon do the day before. “It’s okay, girl. I promise I’m not going to hurt you.” She spoke the words quietly, hoping to soothe the horse as she approached.
Still, Penny’s eyes never left hers.
“What happened to you, sweet girl? Who hurt you so bad?” If she kept talking, would it ease the horse’s fear? Even though she didn’t have the same experience Landon did, could she somehow reach this horse? Could she find a way to help?
Ellie had journeyed halfway across the pen when Penny backed up with an agitated whinny, stomping her feet at Ellie in warning.
Of course, Ellie knew she was being foolish to think she’d be able to touch the horse when the trained professionals hadn’t even been able to. But there was something in the horse’s gaze that just begged her to try.
It was as though she sensed a comrade in Ellie—that she knew she’d been hurt, too. And now that she thought of it, she identified with Penny herself. Wasn’t her mother basically trying to turn her into a show pony, but instead of strutting around equestrian events, she’d strolled the catwalks of Paris? She doubted her mother had ever hit her, but she’d certainly kept Ellie in a pen, confined by the dreams she had for her daughter. What if Ellie wanted to run free? What if she wanted to gallop?
Ellie chuckled softly. “Now you’ve got me thinking crazy thoughts, you silly horse.”
Penny snorted nervously in reply, but she didn’t make any additional effort to move away.
Once they were only a few feet apart, Ellie stopped and reached her hands out. “C’mon, sweetheart. You know you want someone to pet you.”
Penny’s eyes looked at the outstretched hands and she stepped to the side, shaking her head dramatically back and forth and flinging spittle at in Ellie in the process.
Still, Ellie refused to give up on her. She felt a special connection with Penny, and she was pretty sure the horse sensed it, too. Carefully taking another step closer, Ellie felt Penny’s breath on her hand as she snorted again. “It’s okay, Penny. I won’t hurt you,” she repeated.
She saw herself reflected in the large, black eyes as she closed the rest of the distance between them. That was when she felt Penny accede. She’d longed for a friend, for a touch of human kindness, and now—
“Hey! What are you doing?” Landon shouted from somewhere behind them, startling both Ellie and Penny.
Ellie jumped back just as the horse reared up, and she jolted back out of its way before either of them could get hurt. Unfortunately, the injured human was no match for the spooked horse when it came to either speed or strength.
As Penny whipped past, Ellie lost her footing and crashed onto the earth below. She landed on her front, keeping her head covered by her hands. When she knew she was no longer in danger of getting trampled on, she pushed herself onto her knees and glared at the man who now stood before her with a concerned expression pinching his features together.
“Ellie, are you all right?” he asked, practically out of breath as he dropped to his haunches to inspect her for fresh injuries.
“I’m fine, no thanks to you,” she growled, pulling away from his touch. “Why did you have to shout like that? You know how Penny is, and we’d… she’d almost let me touch her. You ruined everything. Now I doubt she’ll ever let me close to her again!”
“I…” Landon sputtered. Instead of finishing his thought, he put his hand out to help her regain her footing.
Ellie ignored it and struggled up on her own, avoiding his gaze as she bent over to brush all the dirt off her clothes. “Just leave me alone,” she grumbled, wondering how easily she could slip past him to hit the trail back to her cabin. Would he try to follow, or would he have the good sense to let her leave?
“Well, excuse me!” he burst out, startling her. “I wasn’t expecting to see the woman who said she can’t even remember if she likes horses standing right next to our most dangerous horse in the field. She’s almost trampled me more times than I can count. You’re a guest here on the ranch and we are supposed to make sure you don’t get hurt—not welcome you into a pen with a horse that could kill you.”
She lifted her eyes and squinted slightly. “I’m a grown woman. I’m pretty sure I can make my own decisions.” But even as she said the words, Ellie knew she had, indeed, been foolish to get so close to Penny. Landon was right, but like heck she’d admit that. Her pride stung and her limbs ached. She’d had more than enough for one morning.
Landon crossed his arms in front of his chest and raised one defiant eyebrow. “If you had the sense, you’d have stayed out of the pen.”
“Well, I guess, according to you, I don’t have sense. Is that settled? Because I’m going now.” She huffed as she swung herself back over the fence. Everything hurt so bad she almost cried, but luckily the tears stayed hidden for the moment.
“Where are you going? It’s time for your riding lesson.” Landon’s voice called out from behind her.
She didn’t even bother to look back. “Yeah, I’m going to pass on that. I mean, we’ve already established that I have no sense and shouldn’t be around horses if I can help it. So thanks, but no thanks. And goodbye.” She didn’t care if she sounded like a spoiled child who had just been reprimanded.
She couldn’t even stand to look at Landon right now, but even more than him, she was angry with herself. Is that what would happen when she had all her memories back—that she’d constantly find new ways to be disappointed in herself? Because if so, maybe forgetting wasn’t actually the worst thing in the world.