As much as Ellie didn’t want to spend time with Landon that afternoon, she was excited by the prospect of spending time with the horses again. Especially if it meant she could finally ride one.
What if her dad was right?
What if the moment she plopped onto the saddle all her memories came flooding back at once? What if she suddenly knew both the identity of the man in her dreams and how to find him? Would she stay at the ranch, or would she leave instantly in search of her long-lost love? Would she happily return to the world of high fashion with her mom or go somewhere else entirely to live the life she suspected she’d always wanted before the accident?
Anything was possible, and it all started with this one afternoon, this one moment. So what if Landon was nearby? This wasn’t about him. It never had been.
She took a deep breath and tried to put her issues with the instructor aside so she could focus on the entire reason she’d come to this place: to get better.
“I think we’ll let you ride Buddy,” he explained as they approached the corral side by side. “He’s one of the calmest and most gentle horses I’ve ever known. Good for first time riders.”
Ellie listened intently, focusing on his words and not her feelings. As she did, she spotted Penny at the far back corner of the front pen and gave the horse a little wave of recognition. Penny shook her head and snorted.
Landon guided her toward the other side of the corral where the sweet, tan horse she’d met the other day stood waiting.
“This is Buddy?” Ellie asked, reaching her hands out to pat the long neck as the gentle animal pushed his nose into her chest. She knew horses didn’t actually smile, but it sure felt like Buddy was wearing a special grin just for her.
Landon nodded as he handed the horse a carrot. “Yes, he’s a bit of an attention seeker, this one.”
They both laughed as the horse inhaled the vegetable with one sweeping gesture of its lips. “He enjoys being around people, so he’s perfect for building up your confidence. Just remember that not all horses are as gentle as this one.”
She knew he was referring to Penny and she clenched her jaw to avoid saying what she really wanted to say. Just focus on the lesson. He doesn’t matter. Focus on you, on getting better.
“Yes, I know it’s important to pay attention to their moods and signals,” she offered peaceably.
He nodded and gave Buddy a few gentle slaps on the neck. “Most of the time there’s nothing to worry about. A horse won’t ever want to hurt you on purpose. But if they are spooked or aren’t feeling well, well… you just never know.”
Ellie continued petting Buddy, laughing as the gentle giant leaned his head into hers. She could see why he would be the perfect horse for a beginner. He clearly didn’t have a mean bone in his entire body.
“Buddy is a gelding,” Landon explained, and the word felt familiar even though she didn’t know what it meant. “They’re usually less temperamental than mares or stallions.”
“Well, he’s a sweetheart, whatever he is.”
Buddy whinnied in acknowledgment of the accomplishment, making Ellie laugh all over again.
“C’mon, Buddy,” Landon said, motioning for the horse to step toward him. “Let’s go get you saddled up so this nice lady can ride you.”
When Buddy drew near, Landon leaned forward to clip a lead rope onto his halter, then asked Ellie, “Do you want to lead him into the other pen?”
“Of course I do. Let’s go, Buddy.” She took the rope from Landon and headed back toward the stables. The horse plodded along behind her, every now and then getting right up close and snorting on her neck. Ellie laughed as the hairs on his nose tickled her skin.
A loud whinny reached her ears, causing her to turn her head toward the sound. Across the expanse of the pasture, Penny stood staring at them, almost as if she was offended that Ellie or Landon hadn’t made an effort to approach her since arriving at the corral.
“Sorry, Penny,” she called, offering the other horse a reassuring nod. “I’ll be back to see you later.”
Landon’s hand on her shoulder startled her. “No, you won’t, Ellie.” His voice boomed, sending a shiver clear down her spine. “Listen, I’m not trying to be mean, but Penny isn’t a horse you should be around. Not until she can learn to trust humans again. She’s too unpredictable and you could end up getting hurt. Just let me keep working with her until she comes around. I promise as soon as I believe she’s safe, I will take you to her. But it’s also important you understand that there’s a chance she isn’t going to get any better.”
Ellie knew he was right, but his condescending tone still bristled. “I won’t get in the pen with her again. But there’s no reason I can’t stand on the other side of the fence and try talking to her, is there?”
She shook off his hand and kept walking, leaning in toward Buddy as she cooed, “And we believe Penny will get better. Don’t we, boy? We’re not going to just give up on her.”
Landon reached out to squeeze her shoulder one more time as he followed behind. “Well, lucky for Penny then, I’m not the kind of man to just give up either.”
They brought Buddy into the smaller adjacent pen and tacked him. Landon patiently showed Ellie everything involved in getting a horse ready to ride. It frustrated her knowing that somewhere in her memories she already knew all of this but still had to learn it all over again. As they worked, she often caught Landon peeking at her hopefully, as if this latest bit of information would be the spark to light the fires of her memory.
When there was nothing left to prepare, Landon began to coax her through the steps of mounting the horse. “Just make sure you swing your leg confidently over his back, and you’ll have no issues.”
Ellie’s heart raced as she placed her foot in the stirrup and leaned forward to whisper to the horse. “Okay, Buddy, I need you to help me so I don’t make a complete fool of myself here.”
Perhaps sensing her nerves, Landon placed his hands on either side of Ellie’s waist to guide her. As soon as he touched her, her breath caught in her throat and time seemed to slow almost to a stop.
A not-so-small part of her wanted to relax into his hold, but the bigger, more sensible part wanted to hurry up and mount so she could escape his touch. Stepping up and swinging her leg over as quickly as she could dare, Ellie eased herself into the saddle.
Landon grinned up at her. “Hey, how about that? It’s almost like you’ve done this before.”
Ellie couldn’t resist beaming a huge smile straight at Landon as she acclimated herself to the saddle. She’d wanted to give up, but he’d made sure she saw this through. She closed her eyes and waited for the flood of memories to come rushing back, but the only thing that greeted her was the vision of the mystery man from her dreams—still faceless, still moving away from her.
She opened her eyes again and let out a huge sigh. “I wish I could remember.” The words slipped out before she could stop them. This was too intimate, too morose for what was otherwise a joyous moment.
But Landon seemed to be unfazed by her sudden turn. Instead he moved to reassure her. “You will. Just give yourself some time. Now, ready to go for a walk?”
Ellie nodded, fighting back the tears that had inexplicably begun to form. Why did everything make her cry these days?
She soon forgot her sorrow when Landon clicked his tongue and Buddy’s powerful haunches began to move beneath her. Side to side and forward all at once, the rhythm of their joined movements comforted her.
Sure, she might not be able to remember names, moments, or much of anything about her life before. But this, right now, she remembered this. The feeling she got when sitting tall and confident on the back of a horse. What her brain had forgotten, her muscles knew. Was it the same with her heart? Is that why she met the same mystery man in her dreams every night when her brain shut down for the evening and let her heart take over?
She didn’t know, couldn’t know.
But what she could do was savor having finally found something familiar. Finally something in her life seemed right, and surprisingly, she had Landon to thank for it.