Ellie couldn’t bring herself to return to the barn dance, to her cabin, to the world as she now knew it. After Landon left she stayed sitting in the meadow for hours and eventually fell asleep under that old tree by the creek. When she awoke, Penny was gone but Elizabeth Jane sat nearby playing a game on her phone as she waited.
“What are you doing here?” Ellie asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. It was then she realized she hadn’t been visited by a single dream or memory all night. It was as if her brain knew that her heart couldn’t deal with any more bombshells until she sorted through the debris left by last night’s.
“Waiting for you,” Liz said with a smile, as she tossed her phone into the grass and then gestured toward a basket that sat nearby. “I brought you breakfast. The same biscuits I made for you on the first day. Remember those?”
She sighed and struggled to a sitting position, her back aching from spending all night on the ground. “I remember everything now. And it’s way, way too much.”
Liz stood and brushed the grass off her jeans. “I understand, and I know you’re mad, but I just couldn’t let you make a mistake that would ruin the rest of your life. I did wrong by hiding that secret from you, but you’re my friend, and I want to do right by you now.”
Ellie groaned and leaned back against the tree, accepting a biscuit only when Liz took one out of the basket and dropped it into her lap. “I don’t see how anything you say would change my mind.”
“I don’t want to change your mind. I want to change your heart.”
Ellie let out a sarcastic laugh. “Okay, good luck with that.”
“In your head, you already know Landon’s perfect for you. You know you fell in love with him not just once, but twice. From what I understand, you were a very different person before the accident. Yet you loved him then, and you love him now, too.” Liz watched Ellie as if she expected some kind of lightbulb to flash over her head. But none of this was news to her, and none of it changed the giant ball of hurt that had taken up residence in her chest.
“So what? It doesn’t change what he did,” Ellie pouted, picking off pieces of her biscuit and throwing them to a nearby sparrow.
“No, it doesn’t, and thank goodness for that!” Liz startled her by screaming these words at the top of her lungs.
Ellie glared at Elizabeth Jane waiting for her to explain.
“What was your plan if you never got your memories back?” Liz asked pointedly. “Were you just going to stay at the ranch forever?”
“No. I don’t know.” Ellie hated that she didn’t have an answer to such a simple question. “I guess I would have gone back to California at some point.”
“And gone back to the world of modeling, right?” Liz snorted and tossed another biscuit her way. “Ellie, it wasn’t what you wanted for yourself. That’s why you were so bitter and, yeah, sometimes mean. Landon helped you discover who you truly were, both then and now. Don’t you see?”
“See what?”
“That this isn’t about him. It’s about you.”
“Yes, of course, it’s about me!” Ellie exploded, unable to take this lecture any longer. Why was everyone acting like all of this was so simple when her life was anything but? “I had an accident. I almost died! Everyone in my life was lying to me, and now I’m more confused than ever!”
“Yes, you, you, you. You can’t get past it. Stop thinking of yourself and consider Landon’s motives for a moment.”
“He wanted to win me back… He thought he could just—”
Liz pummeled her with another biscuit, causing Ellie’s argument to fall away before it even reached her lips. “No, take yourself out of the equation and really think about why he did what he did.”
Ellie closed her eyes and tried to recall the dream that had haunted her for over a month. She brought up the feelings she had each time she lost the man before being able to see his face, the confusion she’d felt upon discovering that he’d been Landon all along. But also the relief. Relief she didn’t have to force it with Marshall when all she wanted was to call Landon her own.
“Love,” Ellie said, opening her eyes and blinking up at her friend.
Liz nodded and flashed a satisfied smile. “Now you’re getting it. So let me ask you this. Now that you do have your memories back, what’s going to be your next step?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been so angry that I haven’t gotten as far as a plan yet.”
“Well, get there now,” Liz demanded. “What are you going to do with yourself? Go back home to California?”
Ellie shook her head. “I don’t think California ever felt much like home to me.”
Liz raised an eyebrow. “Then how about Alaska?”
Ellie closed her eyes once again and tried to picture a life in Anchorage. But, just like her dreams, her future was also incomplete without Landon at her side.
“Well?” Liz prompted when Ellie still hadn’t spoken again. “Now that you know who you are now and who you were then, what are you going to do? Where are you going to make your home?”
“I don’t need to make a home,” Ellie said, realizing at last what she needed to do. “Because I already have one.”
“And?” Liz practically shouted the word at her, apparently needing to hear the words as much as Ellie needed to say them. It all finally made sense. Why had it ever been this hard when in fact it should have been the simplest thing in the world?
“Home is where the heart is,” Ellie said, her voice steady, strong, and full of truth. “And my home is with Landon. It’s always been with Landon.”