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Why We Fear Apples: Meet FTRS’s Psychologist, Professor Harlow
by Beatrice Beez
Former Occupation: The evil queen of Snow White’s nightmares—and ours (Can anyone ever look at an apple the same way again?)—ruled the kingdom of Haddleburg with an iron fist.
Current Occupation: “She’s such an intelligent woman that she doesn’t need to terrorize people to make an impact,” Flora said. (Harlow declined to be interviewed.) Today Harlow is one of FTRS’s strictest professors. She loves pop quizzes, so maybe terrorizing still applies.
Hobbies: Fashion (Jasper’s Tailoring is where she orders custom gowns). She also loves to spend time with her sister, Jocelyn, who is an FTRS student, and coach the first-place fencing team.
Strengths: Some say Harlow still dabbles in witchcraft, but Flora says that’s nonsense.
Weakness: Her lack of a crown. Sources say that is still a sore spot.
Likes: Beauty. “She’s determined to stay young!” says an anonymous student who was worried that Harlow’s pet raven, Aldo, would know she was being interviewed. (“He knows everything going on in her world.”)
Hates: Being disrespected. “Most of the kids in detention are there because of Professor Harlow,” an anonymous said before hearing a bird squawk and fleeing our interview.
Love life: Need we bring up that poison apple again? Harlow’s love affair is solely with her own milky-white reflection. And possibly Aldo.
Check back next week for more FTRS anniversary coverage!