ED AND TED
AND
TED’S DOG
FRED

There was a man

whose name was Ed.

Ed lived in a shed

with his friend Ted.

Ted had a dog

whose name

was Fred.

Ed liked Ted

and Ted liked Ed

and Fred liked Ted

but he didn’t like Ed.

One morning Fred

jumped on Ed’s bed.

Ed said: ‘Fred,

get off my bed!’

But Fred

just growled

and bit Ed’s head.

Ed saw red

and then

he said:

‘I’m fed up

with Fred

always biting

my head!

I’m leaving this shed.’

And he went

  to his car

    (which
      was
        red).

He

jumped in

and away he sped.

Ted said:

‘Ed! Come back to the shed!’

But Ed just shook his head

and fled.

So Ted jumped in his car

(which was also red).

But it wouldn’t start.

The battery was dead.

Ted stamped his feet

and his face went red.

‘Bother! Bother! Bother!’ he said.

‘I’ll have to take the sled instead.’

Ted hitched up Fred

to the front of the sled

(which, by the way,

was also red)

and away

from the shed

sped Fred and Ted.

Ted and

Fred

sped

after Ed.

Ted saw

Ed’s

red car

up ahead.

‘Faster,

‘Faster,

Fred!’

said Ted.

Ted and Fred

were gaining on Ed,

but all of a sudden,

Ed stopped dead.

There was

a road block

and a sign that read,

‘STOP! DO NOT DRIVE!

BIG CLIFF AHEAD!’

Ted said, ‘Fred!

Stop the sled!’

But Fred

could not.

On they sped!

Ted and Fred

smashed into Ed.

Over

the

cliff

Ed

plumm-et-ed!

Closely

followed

by

Ted

and

Fred.

They

hit the water

and

sank like lead.

Poor Ed

and Ted

and Ted’s dog

Fred!

They were

drowning

and

almost dead ...

when they were swallowed

by a whale

called

Ned.

‘Bother!’ said Ed.

‘Bother!’ said Ted.

‘Woof! Woof! Woof!’ said

Ted’s dog Fred,

as they bobbed around

in the belly of Ned.

Ed and Ted and Ted’s dog Fred

were certain

they were surely dead,

but the

whale called Ned—

who was overfed—

blew Ed

and Ted

and Ted’s dog Fred

out of

the hole

in the top

of his head.

Up,

up,

up,

flew

Ed

and

Ted.

Up,

up,

up,

flew Ted’s

dog

Fred

and

then ...

down,

down,

down,

they all did

head!

‘Oh no,’

said Ted

with deathly

dread.

‘We’ll hit

the ground.

We’ll end up

dead!’

‘Fear not,’

said Ed,

to his friend Ted,

stretching a

handkerchief

over his head.

‘Hang on to me, Ted!

Hang on to Ted, Fred!’

and

down

to

the

ground

they

para-chut-ed.

‘Thank you,

           thank you, Ed!’ said Ted.

‘Thanks to you we are not dead!’

‘Woof! Woof! Woof!’

said Ted’s dog Fred

as he jumped up

and LICKED

Ed’s head.

Ed

hugged

Fred!

Fred

hugged

Ed!

Ted

hugged

Fred!

Fred

hugged

Ted!

Ed

hugged

Ted!

Ted

hugged

Ed!

And

they

lived happily

ever after ...

in their shed.