Logan was such an idiot.
He’d known, on an intellectual level at least, that sharing a bed with Olivia Sandoval was going to be difficult. But he figured he’d be able to grit his teeth and bear it, with the knowledge that their living arrangement wasn’t going to last forever. In theory, it was a solid plan.
The problem was, the reality was so much harder than he’d anticipated.
No question about it, Olivia was a knockout. He’d been attracted to her from the start, when she’d moved in next door two years ago. Now that he was learning more about her, she was even more appealing. And given his lengthy dry spell, his body was quite interested in getting acquainted in a more personal way.
Unfortunately, their nocturnal proximity did not make things any easier on his wavering self-control.
The first week hadn’t been so bad. They’d both fallen into bed exhausted, wrung out from working long days getting everything set up and preparing for Olivia to see patients. They’d been too tired for any awkwardness to set in, and sleep had claimed them quickly.
Tonight was different.
He was lying on his side, staring at the wall of the apartment, listening to Olivia’s steady breaths. He could tell she was still awake, too. She always got a little hitch in her breathing right as she was dropping off to sleep. It was an intimate detail, the kind a lover would know. It felt a little strange, learning such a personal fact about her when their relationship was really more of a business interaction. But he was growing used to the odd dichotomy between them.
She sighed and shifted a bit, probably trying to find a more comfortable position. The mattress left a lot to be desired in terms of padding, but he’d seen the ones at the hospital and knew they were lucky. It was amazing how quickly his standards changed after being confronted with true poverty.
“Can’t sleep?” He kept his voice low, barely above a whisper. He didn’t want to disturb her if she was drifting off. But if they were both awake, they might as well pass the time together. His hormones proposed a few activities they could try to stave off boredom, but he ignored the predictable suggestions. Talking was a much safer choice.
She was quiet for a moment, making him wonder if she was going to respond. Then she sighed, the bed moving slightly as the breath left her body. “Yeah. Am I keeping you up?”
“Nope. I just don’t feel tired. You?”
“I can’t turn my brain off.”
“That happen often?”
Her voice was wry. “Often enough.”
Logan rolled to face the ceiling. It seemed rude somehow to carry on a conversation with his back to her, even though they couldn’t see each other in the darkness. “Penny for your thoughts?”
She let out a soft laugh and the mattress bounced as she moved. He felt the brush of her shoulder against his own as she settled onto her back. The heat of her touch was like a warm coal from a dying fire, pleasant and welcome.
“I don’t even know where to begin,” she said, her voice closer now that they had both moved.
“I generally like to start at the beginning,” he suggested. “But you do what you think is best.”
“That’s very helpful,” she grumbled. But he heard the smile in her voice and knew she wasn’t really upset.
He could guess what was bothering her, but it would be better if she told him herself. He didn’t want to put words in her mouth. And while he’d never admit it out loud, a big part of him was hoping she trusted him enough to lower her guard and let him inside.
“I just can’t stop thinking about my friends.”
He searched his brain for their names. “Avery and Meredith?”
“Mallory,” she corrected.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. You’ve never met them. You can’t really be expected to remember their names.”
“How long have you all been friends?” Female relationships fascinated and mystified him in equal measures. His sister, Amy, was only two years younger, so he’d had a front row seat to much of the drama of high school friendships. He’d never understood how women could go from best friends to mortal enemies in the space of a few hours, but what did he know?
“About ten years. We met in medical school and started studying together. We all got along so well we decided to move in together.”
“Are they surgeons like you?”
“No. Avery works for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. She’s part of their illness tracking team. And Mallory is a doctor on a cruise ship.”
“Nice,” he commented. “I wonder if there’s a need for a resident DEA agent on a cruise ship.”
She laughed. “Tell me about it. Sometimes I look at her life and think I’ve made all the wrong choices.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. You seem to be doing pretty well for yourself.”
“Thanks.” There was an odd note to her voice and he hoped he hadn’t made her more upset. He cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why is the cartel threatening these women? You’re not geographically close to them, which means you can’t see them all that often. Why aren’t they going after your family?”
She took her time answering. “Because I don’t have any.”
Oh, man. His stomach dropped, and he could have kicked himself. Way to make her feel worse. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” He’d noticed that she had left the getting-to-know-you questions pertaining to her family blank, but he had thought it was due to a wish for privacy. Never in a million years would he have imagined it was because she was alone in the world.
She shrugged and their shoulders touched again. “No reason why you should. I don’t talk about it.”
He searched his mind for something to say, for a safer topic that wouldn’t cause her pain. But before he could come up with something, she spoke again.
“It was a car accident. Two years ago. They were airlifted to the hospital, but by the time I got there, they had both slipped into comas. My mother appeared to rally at one point, but it didn’t last. They were in intensive care for several weeks, but it wasn’t enough to save them.”
Logan’s heart broke for her. He couldn’t imagine the pain of losing a parent, never mind losing both at the same time. He reached in the darkness and took her hand, unable to come up with the words to convey his sympathy.
“The worst part was I didn’t really get to say goodbye. They never woke up.”
He found his voice. “I’m sure they heard you nonetheless.”
“That’s what all the medical staff said. But a part of me still wonders if it’s really true.”
“I have to believe it is,” he said, squeezing her hand gently. “I remember once when I was at college I woke up in the middle of the night with food poisoning. Ten minutes later my mom called me. Said she’d had a vivid dream that I was sick and needed to check on me. I think parents just know things, especially when it comes to their kids.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I know they’d be proud of the work you’re doing here.”
She laughed softly, but there was no humor in it. “I was supposed to be doing this kind of thing full-time. I had planned to join Doctors Without Borders after I finished my residency. Travel the world, help those who need it most. Real idealistic stuff.”
“What changed?” he asked. She sounded bitter, which was unlike her. Even though he hadn’t known her very long, he could tell she wasn’t the kind of person to dwell on the negative parts of her past.
“I needed the money. My parents’ medical bills were through the roof, and I also had a lot of debt from school.”
“Your parents didn’t have health insurance?”
He felt her shake her head. “Dad had lost his job a few weeks before the accident. They hadn’t told me. I don’t think they wanted me to worry.”
“That sounds like solid parental reasoning to me.”
“Yeah.” He heard the smile in her voice and was glad her mood seemed to be improving. He was learning so much about her, more than the questionnaire could ever hope to tell him, but he didn’t want to hear it if it caused her pain. “Anyway, when I got an offer to join a private practice, I took one look at the starting salary and couldn’t really say no.”
He stroked his finger across her knuckles, enjoying the rises and dips of her skin as he traced the bones. “You made a smart choice. You shouldn’t beat yourself up for it.”
“My practical side agrees with you. But there’s still a small, idealistic part of me that thinks I sold out.” She sighed softly. “But that’s just life. It never really turns out like you expect, does it?”
“No,” he said, his thoughts turning to Emma. His life would have been so different if he’d never found out about her cheating on him. They’d be married for sure, coming up on an anniversary, in fact. How long would it have taken him to discover her lies? He liked to think he was a good investigator, but he hadn’t used those skills in his own personal life. If he hadn’t walked in on her and Chris in bed together, would he have ever suspected anything? More important, would they have had children by now? His gut twisted at the thought. Not because he didn’t want kids, but because he didn’t want them with a woman who would treat her marriage vows as suggestions rather than words to live by.
After a few moments of silence, Olivia chuckled softly and shook her head.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, eager for the distraction. He shoved thoughts of Emma back into the box where they belonged and focused on the woman next to him.
“I was just thinking. My mother would have loved you. You’re just the kind of man she always hoped I’d bring home. But if she hadn’t died, I never would have taken the job with my current practice and moved in next door. I’d probably be married to Scott, and we would never have met. It’s strange the way things work out sometimes.”
Logan’s face warmed at the compliment, and his stomach did a little flip at the implication of her words. Neighbors didn’t meet each other’s parents. Did that mean she thought they had the potential to be something more?
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said, trying to sound casual. “I think if you’re meant to be with someone, the universe will find a way to make it happen.”
“Do you think we’re meant to be together?” He heard a note of teasing in her voice, but there was something else there, too: interest.
His heart thumped hard against his ribs. How to answer that without sounding like a fool? He racked his brain, but came up empty. Ah, to hell with it. Just be honest. “I’m open to the possibility.”
She was quiet for a moment, and he began to worry that she was reconsidering her decision to share the bed with him. Maybe he’d come on too strong—the last thing he wanted was to sound like a budding stalker. But he also didn’t want to lie to her. She was the first woman he’d been drawn to in a long time, and he was curious to see where the attraction led him.
Apparently nowhere, if her ongoing silence was any indication.
Logan began to mentally prepare himself to sleep on the floor. Maybe he could spread some clothes around in a makeshift barrier to keep the bugs away while he slept... Just as he moved to pull his hand away and toss off the covers, Olivia’s grip tightened.
“What would you think if I told you I’m open to the possibility, as well?”
Hallelujah! his body cried. But he tamped down the incipient celebration. It was nice to know his interest was reciprocated, but they still couldn’t act on their feelings until they made it back to the US.
He swallowed hard to dislodge the lump in his throat. “It sounds like we have something to look forward to when we get home.”
“I like that,” she said. “Gives me something nice to focus on while we’re here.” She squeezed his hand and he smiled, feeling suddenly lighter. It was a boost to his ego to know she was interested in exploring the possibilities between them.
She shifted again, and this time her leg brushed against his. It was the barest whisper of a touch, but it lit up his nerve endings so intensely it might as well have been a kick. A tingling sensation raced outward from the spot, flooding his system and making his skin hypersensitive. He lay there in the dark, his breath trapped in his chest, waiting for another brush of skin against skin. His desire for contact warred with his recognition that another touch might make him lose his grip on his self-control. He didn’t know which possibility was worse: not feeling her body again, or moving forward too quickly and losing sight of the dangers they faced here.
In the end, Olivia saved him by pulling her hand away from his. “I have to stop touching you,” she said, her voice sounding a little strained. “If I don’t, I’m going to forget all the reasons why we can’t turn our fake relationship into reality while we’re here.”
He laughed, happy to know he affected her as much as she did him. “It’s a good thing one of us has self-control.”
But how long would it last?
* * *
A week later, Olivia pushed a wayward strand of hair out of her face and smiled at her next patient, a young boy with a cleft lip. He stared up at her with big brown eyes and gave her a shy smile before turning away and reaching for his mother’s hand. The woman waddled in after him, hugely pregnant and clearly uncomfortable, if the grimace on her face was anything to go by. Logan immediately stood and pushed his chair over for her to use, and she sank down with a grateful smile in his direction.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Sandoval,” she said in Spanish. “Can you tell me your name, please?”
The boy looked to his mother, who nodded. “Alejandro,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“It’s nice to meet you,” she responded, trying to sound soothing. It was clear little Alejandro didn’t know what to make of her, and she didn’t want to scare him. “Can you tell me why you’re here today?” In her experience, it was better to ask the kids why they’d come rather than jumping in to the exam. They often found their confidence when explaining their condition to her.
He gestured to his mouth, the tip of his index finger tracing along the edges of the vee in his upper lip. “My lip is broken.”
She smiled at his description. “Can I take a closer look?”
He hesitated a moment, then nodded. Olivia leaned forward and gently touched his face, angling it more toward the light. The cleft was on his right side, and extended up to his nostril.
“Will you open your mouth for me?”
The little boy obliged and Olivia clicked on her penlight, shining it into the darkness of his mouth. She did a mental fist pump when she saw the solid, unbroken surface of his palate. It was much easier to repair a simple cleft lip, and the recovery time was a lot faster, too.
“I have good news,” she said, smiling as she leaned back. “I can fix your lip. Would you like that?”
Alejandro’s eyes widened and he nodded in affirmation. Olivia patted his leg and turned to his mother. “When would you like me to do the operation?”
She winced and shifted on the chair. “As soon as possible,” she replied, her voice tight.
Olivia frowned. Unless she missed her guess, Alejandro’s mother was in pain. But she didn’t know if it was the normal discomfort of advanced pregnancy or something more. “Are you all right?” she asked gently.
The woman nodded, but her mouth flattened and her eyes narrowed with strain. She let out a low moan and her hand moved to her belly.
“Logan,” Olivia said, switching back to English. “Why don’t you and Alejandro go play with the blocks in the waiting room?” She kept her eyes on the woman, assessing her condition.
“What’s wrong with my mother?” the boy asked, his voice high with fear. Apparently he’d understood her tone, if not her words, and knew something was going on with his mother.
“Nothing, darling,” the woman said. “But I think your brother is coming soon.”
Alejandro darted to his mother’s side and grabbed her hand. “I won’t leave you,” he promised solemnly.
“That’s very sweet,” she said, lifting her free hand to caress the side of his face. “But I need you to go and fetch your aunt. Will you do that for me?”
His delicate features twisted with indecision. “Go, my love,” she said. “I need your aunt with me, and you are the only one I can trust to bring her.”
The boy nodded slowly. “I’ll be back soon.” He turned to Olivia, suddenly looking much older than his six years. “Please take care of her.”
“I will,” she promised. The words had barely left her lips before he turned and ran out of the room, clearly on a mission.
Olivia turned to the woman. “How long have you been in labor?”
“Since this morning. The contractions woke me up.”
“Has your water broken?”
She nodded. “A few hours ago. I thought I’d have more time, and I didn’t want Alejandro to miss this appointment. We’ve been waiting for months to see you.”
At least she had made it to the hospital. “Should I get a nurse?” Logan asked.
“Yes.” Olivia hadn’t delivered a baby since medical school, and she wasn’t eager to do so now. The sooner she could get this woman to the labor and delivery floor, the better.
Just as Logan took a step toward the door, the woman let out another moan and doubled over. “I think he’s coming!” she gasped.
Olivia cursed silently. “Help me get her to the bed,” she ordered. They moved quickly, tugging her off the chair and half leading, half pushing her the few steps to the bed. The woman tried to help, but her contractions were coming fast and hard now and she was having trouble walking. Finally they were able to lift her up and she lay back with a great sigh.
“Get a nurse,” Olivia ordered Logan. He wasted no time leaving the room. “What’s your name?” she asked the woman. She was about to perform an intimate exam, and it only seemed fitting that she learned her patient’s name first.
“Maria,” the woman gritted out, her teeth clenched as another contraction hit.
“I’m going to examine you now, Maria,” Olivia said, tugging on a disposable gown. “I need to see how quickly your labor is progressing.”
She slipped on a pair of gloves and lifted the woman’s skirt, holding her breath and hoping she didn’t have to catch a baby. Please, let the ob-gyn get here soon!
Her stomach dropped as she made sense of the scene in front of her. Maria was in labor, all right. In fact, she was almost finished with it. The baby’s head was visible and growing steadily larger as Maria’s contractions pushed it farther down the birth canal.
Olivia took a deep breath and pushed aside her initial panic. She could to this. She had to do this—there wasn’t anyone else in the room right now, and Maria needed her help. She closed her eyes and dug deep into her memories, recalling the motions she’d need to perform to safely deliver this child. What she wouldn’t give for Mallory’s help right now! Even though Mallory was a general practitioner, she’d had a lot more obstetric experience than Olivia. As if summoned, her friend’s voice rang in her head: You’re still a doctor, Olivia. Take care of your patient.
A sense of calm melted over her and she placed her hands on Maria. “You’re almost there,” she encouraged. “On the next contraction, I need you to push hard.”
Maria grunted in acknowledgment and her body tensed. The baby’s head moved closer, closer... Then suddenly, it was free!
“Good job!” Olivia encouraged. “Rest for a second, then give me another big push.” She held the baby’s head in her hand, wiping the fluids off its face. She glanced around wildly, looking for something she could use to suction its nose and mouth. Seeing nothing, she decided to yell for help. “I need suction!” she cried, hoping someone would hear her.
Maria’s muscles clenched again, and the baby’s body began to slide free. Olivia gently turned the little one to deliver first one shoulder, then the other. At that point, the rest of the baby’s body slipped out in a warm rush.
Olivia rubbed the little one with Maria’s skirt and patted its back to help expel the fluid from its lungs. Suddenly, a pair of hands entered her field of vision, and a suction bulb was used to clear the infant’s airway. The baby let out a loud scream, and both she and Maria laughed in relief.
“Is he okay?” Maria asked, craning her neck to see her child.
Olivia finished clamping the umbilical cord and delivered the now-bundled baby into its mother’s waiting arms. “Your baby is fine,” she said. “But ‘he’ is actually a ‘she.’”
Maria’s eyes widened. “A girl?” she whispered. A smile spread slowly across her face as the news sank in. “My little princess,” she crooned to the baby, running her fingertips along the infant’s face, learning her baby’s features by touch. She leaned in and pressed her nose to the little one’s head. “My angel,” she said softly.
Olivia looked away, feeling like an intruder on this private moment. She felt a touch on her shoulder and turned to find Daniela smiling up at her. “Dr. Moreno is on his way,” she said.
Olivia nodded. “Good.” Even though the baby was out, Maria still needed to be examined to make sure she didn’t require further care. “What about the pediatrician?” The baby needed to be checked, too. Olivia hadn’t noticed any issues during her brief exam, but she was not an expert in infant physiology. She’d feel much better knowing a specialist had seen to both mother and child.
“Also on the way.”
Dr. Moreno slipped through the door, his cheeks flushed from the exertion of running. He took in the scene and turned to Olivia with one brow raised. “Are you trying to steal my patients?” he asked good-naturedly.
Olivia laughed and shook her head. “Believe me, that is the last thing I want. Too stressful.” She moved aside so he could attend to Maria, relief washing over her now that the baby was here and the mother was in good hands. Her work was done.
She glanced up to find Logan in the doorway, his expression a mixture of pride and wonder. All at once, she was hit with the desire to go to him, to press herself against his strong chest and feel his arms around her. She prided herself on being a strong woman, but right now, as the adrenaline drained from her muscles, she needed his support, if only for a moment.
She took a step forward, but Maria grabbed her arm before she could get very far from the bed. Olivia glanced down, and the fiercely determined look on Maria’s face made her stomach do a little flip. Something else was going on here, and Olivia had a pretty good idea that she wasn’t going to like it.
The woman pulled her close, her baby momentarily forgotten as she focused on Olivia. “I have a message for you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Olivia nodded slightly, holding her breath. This was it. She had almost managed to forget the cartel was watching and that she was going to have to collect the drugs. After she and Logan had shared that midnight conversation, she’d allowed herself to be distracted by thoughts of their future, of how they were going to explore their mutual attraction after this was all over. She hadn’t spent too much time thinking about the interim and the things she’d have to do before they would get to that point. Now reality came crashing down on her head like a pitcher of ice-cold water. But she wasn’t going to let her shock show—she didn’t want word of her fear to get back to the cartel.
Maria glanced down at Dr. Moreno, who was busy with his exam. Apparently satisfied that no one was listening to them, she spoke again. “There is an old mining trail on the north end of the city—the entrance is just past the abandoned café. About two miles into the jungle there is a small clearing. They will meet you there, tomorrow at midday.” She glanced in the direction of the door, then met Olivia’s gaze again. “You must go alone,” she said, squeezing Olivia’s arm for emphasis.
Olivia nodded and tried not to let her emotions show on her face. She could feel Logan’s eyes on her and knew he would be able to tell something had happened. And while she had every intention of sharing this news with him, she didn’t want to have the conversation now, in the hospital where there were so many ears. Better for him to think Maria was thanking her for delivering the baby safely.
She pasted on a bright smile and patted the woman’s shoulder. For her part, Maria looked almost apologetic, but it didn’t take long for her to turn her focus back to the baby. “Good luck,” Olivia said to the woman. She didn’t blame her for carrying a message for the cartel. Poverty was a fact of life in this region, and Olivia was willing to bet Maria was just trying to survive. Hopefully they had paid her well for her trouble and that would be the end of it. But it was possible the cartel had gotten its hooks into this family and was even now grooming Alejandro for the business. Olivia’s heart ached at the thought of that bright-eyed, shy boy being exposed to such danger, but what could she do? She was just one woman against a seemingly endless number of narco-soldiers...
She stripped off the protective gear and made it to the door. Logan put his arm around her. “That was amazing!” he said, his voice filled with awe. “You did a fantastic job.” She sagged against him, grateful for the casual strength of his body. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. “We can talk later,” he whispered in her ear, confirming he had, in fact, noticed her little tête-à-tête with Maria.
Olivia nodded, warmth rising in her chest as they walked down the hall together. Of course he had seen her conversation. He never missed a thing, even though he often stayed in the background—a quiet, calm shadow that followed her everywhere.
She had to admit, being around Logan was just so easy. He seemed to fit her in a way no other man had before. She’d thought Scott had been the one for her, but looking back on their relationship she realized she’d never felt this kind of comfort even with him. Part of her worried that the amazing connection she felt with Logan was nothing more than his dedication to his job. After all, his mission was to stick to her like glue and make sure the drug exchange went off without a hitch. And given the awards and photos in his office, she knew he was very good at what he did. A sad, insecure voice in her head said she was reading too much into their fake relationship, and that she was only going to get her heart broken when they made it home and went their separate ways.
Maybe she would.
But she couldn’t forget their conversation from the other night. He’d hinted very strongly that he found her attractive and wanted to get to know her better. Surely he wouldn’t have done that if it wasn’t the truth! He didn’t seem to be the type of man who led a woman on, especially since she knew he’d been burned badly before. She was just going to have to have a little faith, and trust that he really did want to be with her once this was all over.
Either way, she couldn’t spend too much time worrying about her relationship with Logan now. As Maria had reminded her, she had bigger problems to deal with.
And they had life-or-death consequences.