William was livid when he returned and found that Amelia’s room had been tampered with. He had wondered why Elizabeth seemed nervous immediately as he had arrived, but it was only until he went to his bedroom and saw Amelia’s things that he realized what she had done.
“This woman has crossed the line,” he silently fumed. “Who does she think she is?”
Supper was a strained affair, and when it was over Virginia motioned for the two girls to follow her to their room, leaving Elizabeth and William in the kitchen. From the look of things, they would not be having their evening devotions.
“Why did you enter Amelia’s room and mess with her things?”
“First of all, I did not mess with anything,” Elizabeth said. “And secondly, if you have not noticed, I am now the woman of the house.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I deserve some respect as your wife, Mr. William. Mary is a growing child, and it is not fair for me to squeeze with her on her bed, and the same goes for Abigail. And yet, there is a large room with two beds that is lying unused in this house.”
“That is my wife’s room.”
“No,” Elizabeth shook her head. “That is not a room. It is a shrine.”
“How dare you say that?”
“I dare, because it is true. Mr. William, those trunks contain beautiful clothes that I can adjust to fit Mary and Abigail, and yet you have kept them to be feasted on by moths.”
“Who gave you permission to touch Amelia’s things?”
“Amelia is dead,” Elizabeth hissed. She did not want the children to hear them arguing. “I respect and honor her memory, but she is dead, and your children are alive, as I am. I cannot continue to spend sleepless nights, as your daughter tosses in bed because it is too small for the two of us. If you do not want me to use that room then so be it, I can make my bed here in the kitchen, and sleep here.”
William stood up. “You should not have touched Amelia’s things,” he said and left the room. She heard him enter his room and a short while later heard him dragging something, and she realized he was taking the trunks back to Amelia’s room. She tightened her lips. So it was like that. Well, he was about to find out what she was made of.
For two days the house was tense and the usual laughter was missing. Even the evening devotions were strained, and Elizabeth only played sad songs on the violin. Elizabeth’s eyes were swollen from so much crying, and also she had been sleeping in the kitchen on the floor, and her back was aching. But she would not complain.
Mary followed her father to the stables on the third day. She found him feeding the horses.
“It is only a room,” the quiet child said, and William looked at her in surprise.
“What, Mary?”
“I said it is only a room. Mama is dead and is not coming back, Papa. Miss Elizabeth is a good person, and she deserves to have her own room. You don’t have to be mad.”
William put down the shovel and looked at his daughter. “I am not mad because of the room. I am mad because she did not ask me before she touched your mother’s things.”
“If she had asked you to move mama’s things, would you have agreed, Pa?” William thought for a while and then shook his head.
“You know, Pa, while you were gone, I was so sick, and Miss Elizabeth did not get any sleep at all. She looked after me all the time, and even now she is so tired.” The child shook her head. “I don’t think it is fair that you refuse to let her sleep in that room which is empty, Pa, and now she is sleeping in the kitchen, and won’t come to our room.”
“What?” William was shocked at this new information.
“Miss Elizabeth is a good woman, Pa. She is a good mama to us. Do you know that Abigail is now learning how to read and write, and she likes going to school? And she has taught me how to do so many things, Pa. We love going to church, because we are learning new songs and stories, Papa.” The child sighed. “Missing Mama does not hurt so much, because Miss Elizabeth loves us. Why can’t you be kind to her, even a little?” Mary turned and left her father deep in thought.
He finished feeding the animals and then went to the house. Elizabeth was asleep at the kitchen table and he stood watching her for a while. He saw the lines of fatigue on her face and the dried tears. When he looked at her hands, he almost cried. They were blistered and some of the blisters had burst open, leaving the skin red and raw, and they looked painful. But he had not heard her complain about anything. He also noticed how her clothes hung on her. She had lost weight, but she bore it all with strength and in silence. He felt really low.
This was a delicate woman who ought to have had servants and lived the life of comfort that she had been accustomed to. Instead, she had chosen to come to this ranch and be his wife. She worked hard without complaining and she deserved a good place to sleep. And he was being selfish by denying her a good place to rest. And all because it was his dead wife’s bedroom. He went to Amelia’s room and looked around. He shifted the trunks back to his bedroom. He remembered that Elizabeth had told him there were good clothes that she could adjust to fit the young girls. He would look at them later.
Right now he had a tired wife to care for. He was glad he had not touched the beds and had left them as Elizabeth had made them. He pulled down the covers of the larger bed and went to the kitchen.
Elizabeth did not stir when he carried her to the bedroom and placed her on the bed. That was when he realized just how tired she must have been. And she was not as heavy as he had expected her to be. He tucked her in and kissed her forehead, surprising even himself, and then he hurriedly left the room, closing the door.
~~~ *** ~~~
Virginia watched as Abigail roped Morning Dew and copied her. The three girls were getting ready to ride. William allowed them to exercise the horses around the homestead as long as they did not venture out of sight.
“Mary, is Papa still mad at Mama?” Abigail asked, her voice trembling.
“I don’t know,” Mary sighed. “I love Mama so much. I wish Pa wouldn’t be mad at her. I don’t want her to leave.”
“Leave?” Abigail raised stricken eyes to her sister and she burst into tears. “I don’t want Mama to leave us again.” Mary also started crying.
Virginia dropped the rope and gathered the girls to her. “Hush, girls,” she soothed, leading them to the large flat rock on which they aired any items that needed airing. She sat down with either girl on her side.
“Stop crying. Lizzie is not leaving, and neither am I.”
“But if Pa is mad at her, she might want to leave us and go back to Boston,” Mary said in a teary voice.
“Lizzie loves the two of you so much. She would never leave you, no matter what. She is now your mother and mamas do not leave their children.”
“But our first mama left us,” Abigail said in a small voice.
“That is true, but she left because she went to heaven, to be with Jesus. Remember, we have been learning that at church.” The girls nodded. “Lizzie is now your mama. And your pa is allowed to be mad at her because they are married. Pas and Mas are usually mad at each other, but then, because they love each other, they soon make up and are happy again, together.”
“Ginnie?”
“Yes, Mary?”
“Where is your ma?”
“She is in heaven.”
“And your pa?”
“In heaven, with Ma.”
“Did they die together?”
“No, Mary.” Virginia shook her head. “Ma died when I was young, and Lizzie looked after me. She is very kind and caring, and just like my ma.” She thought for a while. “I cannot even remember what Mama looked like. Lizzie is the one who has been looking after me all this time.”
“She is very nice, and I love her,” Abigail said.
“I also love her,” Mary agreed. “And from today, I will never call her Miss Elizabeth again. I will call her Mama.”
“Yes, even me.”
Virginia smiled, as did William who was in the stables and had heard the girls’ conversation.
When Elizabeth woke up it was dark, and there was a lit candle on the small table in the room. She sat up and frowned, looking around her. She did not remember coming to bed, and this certainly was not Mary’s bed. She realized that she was in Amelia’s room, and for a moment sat in deep thought. Had she been sleepwalking and ended up in this room because her mind had been set on using it? But if she had sleepwalked, shouldn’t she be on top of the covers? She was tucked in nicely, as though someone had put her to bed, and she wondered.
She slowly got out of bed and stretched. She felt very refreshed, and picking up the candle she went to the kitchen where she found William seated at the table with the two young girls. Virginia was at the stove stirring something.
“Mama,” Abigail pushed back her chair and ran to Elizabeth. “Are you alright? Pa told us you were not feeling well, and we should not disturb you.”
Mary also came and hugged Elizabeth. “Yes Ma, we were worried about you.”
“No need to be.” Elizabeth refused to look at William, afraid that she would see the anger in his eyes. “I was just a little tired.”
“Girls, let your ma at least rest before you bombard her with your stuff,” she heard William say, and she looked at him quickly. There was a strange expression on his face. He stood up and pulled out a chair for Elizabeth.
“Ma?”
“Yes, Abby?”
“Ginnie is making us fish stew.”
“Really? Where did the fish come from?”
“Pa went to the stream and brought back many fishes.”
“A lot of fish, Abby. Say it. Pa brought back a lot of fish.”
“Pa brought back a lot of fish,” the little girl said happily. “See, I am learning my lessons very fast. And Ma, Pa has been helping us with our homework today.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes, Ma,” Mary sighed exaggeratedly. “But he does not know how to teach like you, Ma.”
“Traitor,” William said in mock anger, waving a fist at Mary who giggled, and her sister joined her.
As usual when supper was over, the family gathered in the sitting room for their devotions. William as usual sat on the porch and listened as they sang and prayed. When they were done he stepped into the room.
“Miss Elizabeth, may I speak with you?” He stepped back outside and Elizabeth followed him. He waited for her to sit in her usual chair.
“I just want to say that I am sorry.”
“That is okay.” She looked at her hands.
“No, it is not okay. I know how much you have sacrificed to be here, and I should have made things a little easier for you.” William shook his head in self-disgust. “Instead, I have added onto your troubles. Please forgive me.” He came to stand in front of her and then he crouched so he could see her face in the dusky evening. His hands reached for hers, which were on her lap, and he touched her blisters gently. “I am sorry that I have not been a good husband to you, Miss Elizabeth. I will get you some ointment for these painful blisters when I go to town tomorrow.”
“It is alright. I also want to ask you to forgive me for interfering with Amelia’s things, without your permission.”
“There is nothing to forgive. I thank you for waking me up to reality.” He stood up again. “It is not easy to forget someone you loved.”
“Mr. William, no one is asking you to forget Amelia. She will always be a part of your life, especially because of Mary and Abigail. You have those memories, and they are what God gives us when our loved ones leave us. He allows us to have pleasant memories, and remember the good times that we shared, and that helps us face tomorrow, especially when we have the assurance that our loved ones are in heaven with the Lord. We are then sure that we will one day be with them.”
William did not want to hear anything about God and he decided to change the topic. “Tomorrow, I will put the trunks here in the sitting room, so that you can sort out what can be adjusted to fit the girls, and what can be used for the house.” He sighed. “This is your house now, Miss Elizabeth, and I am sorry that I have not accorded you the respect you deserve as my wife, and as the lady of the house. You are free to make any changes that you want.”