The crescent moon cast long shadows and the lone figure rode, casting furtive glances over her shoulder. Virginia hoped no one had heard or seen her leave the house. She was very excited and urged the horse to go faster. She had become skilled at handling Spitfire, and the horse obeyed her every command.
This was the first time she was leaving the house in the middle of the night, at least here in Missoula. In Boston she had done it all the time and Elizabeth had been none the wiser. She smiled a secret smile.
The other day while on one of her long rides with Spitfire, she had ridden into Hellgate and had gone to Reveler’s Saloon, a tavern run by a heavily made-up woman who spoke with a French accent. She had slipped in and waited to see if anyone would notice her. The revelers were busy with their drinking and women, and at first no one paid any attention to her.
But Madam Belle had a keen eye and always noticed strangers amongst her customers. She had spotted Virginia and sent one of her girls to call her.
“The madam wants to see you,” a girl her own age told Virginia. “Come with me, without a fuss.” Virginia smiled and followed her to a back room. Madam Belle observed the young girl, whose eyes she had noticed lit up when she saw money.
“This can be an easy prey,” Belle thought.
“What are you doing here, child?”
“I sing, and I was wondering if you can give me a job as a singer.”
“What can you sing?”
“Everything. Okay, at least a number of songs. You see, in Boston...”
“Boston? You are from Boston?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Where did you sing in Boston?”
“At the Wild West Tavern,” Virginia said. “Can I sing for you?”
“Go ahead.”
Virginia did a rendition of ‘The Wisconsin Emigrant,’ and because she was so passionate about her singing, the girl did the song with gestures, and when she was done Madam Belle clapped the loudest. This girl would fetch her good money.
“Honey, when can you start working, or shall I say singing, for Revelers’ Tavern?”
“I got the job?”
“Yes indeed.” Madam Belle pulled the girl to her buxom chest and hugged her. “You and me, princess, will make the bucks here in Hellgate. We will make a lot of money every day.”
Virginia’s face fell. “I am sorry, ma’am. I cannot come every night. I have to help out on the farm, and it gets pretty tiring. But I can come in two nights a week to start, and when my folks get extra help, I can come in every day.”
Madam Belle swallowed a retort. Let the child come in and get a little money. Her own greed will have her coming back for more. The lure of the good life and good money was too strong for most, and she had seen the way the girl looked at the money that was brought to her.
“Before you go, can you sing for my guests? I will pay you two dollars.”
“Two whole dollars?” Virginia’s eyes lit up. “Yes, I will sing.”
And so it was that she was going to sing on the stage tonight: this was her first night. And it turned out to be a huge success because Madam Belle had spread word around that she had fresh blood coming in, and as usual the miners with money to burn came to see what new thing the French madam had for them.
They unanimously agreed that Virginia had a lovely voice and she kept them entertained with many songs, but when it was almost dawn she had to leave. Madam Belle handed her ten dollars and the girl’s eyes almost popped out.
“That one is a greedy one,” Madam whispered to one of her girls. “She will soon be discontent with the singing wages and want some more, and when she does, I will be ready. Virgins fetch a very high price, indeed.” The two women smiled slyly at each other.
When Virginia got home no one had stirred, and she made pretense of having been out running the horse.
~~~ *** ~~~
Elizabeth smiled when she thought about her daughters. These two girls were the children of her heart and she was growing to love them so deeply, and they loved her back. They were very obedient, and what made Elizabeth cry was when Abigail began to grow back her hair and wear dresses like her sister. And Mary had stopped the ritual of placing her mother’s cup on the table during meals and putting it back once the meal was over. They were adjusting to the loss of their mother very nicely, like normal children do.
Getting Abigail to wear dresses had been a tough war indeed. She would pretend to wear a dress, but when she got to school she would take it off to reveal dungarees. Mary was not a snitch, but she always told her sister that she was sinning against their new mama.
“Please don’t tell Mama. I don’t want to hurt her, but I hate dresses.”
“I won’t tell on you because I don’t want to hurt Mama, but I wish you would stop this, Abby.”
Elizabeth knew that the young girl wore boys’ clothes under her regular school clothes, but she gave her time, and enticement. Elizabeth found beautiful frocks in Amelia’s trunks and she adjusted them to fit the girls. Because William was around a lot in midsummer, Elizabeth did not have so much work to do and devoted the time to beautifying the house.
She made quilts for all their beds, assisted by the girls. They also made pretty curtains for all the rooms, including William’s. Each day she made a dress each for the girls, including Virginia, and after supper but before they had their devotions, she would have them model the dresses for their father. Slowly, Abigail began loving her dresses. She saw the pretty ribbons that Elizabeth made for Mary’s hair and also desired to keep her hair long. This was a great achievement for Elizabeth, and she was smiling as she put her violin away for the evening.
“What is making my dear wife smile this evening?” William asked when she joined him on the porch, as the girls prepared for bed.
“Abby. She is taking to ribbons and dresses like a duck to water.”
“All thanks to you, Miss Elizabeth.” William touched her cheek gently and Elizabeth was stunned. He had not made such a gesture to her before, and as though he realized what he was doing, he pulled his hand back quickly. “You are a good mother, and I am happy that you came to us, Miss Elizabeth.”
“And thank you, Mr. William, for giving us a home. I am truly grateful.”
“Didn’t you have anyone else back in Boston who could have taken care of you after your father died?”
“No.” Elizabeth shook her head sadly. “Papa was an only child and had no relatives, and Mama’s relatives disowned her when she chose to marry Papa who those English called a commoner, and yet she was betrothed to a lord or baron, something like that. It was a man with a title.”
“I am sorry.”
“That is alright. At least we had each other.”
“Was your papa from England also?”
“His grandparents were Irish, but Papa was born in Boston.”
“How did he and your mama meet?”
“Papa was a businessman, and on one of his travels abroad he met Mama when his hosts in England took him to the opera. For them it was love at first sight, and they had a good marriage for ten years.” Elizabeth sighed. “When Mama died, it was as though the life was snuffed out of Papa. He made bad business deals as a result of being absent-minded, and that is why when he died, we lost everything.” She put her head to her side. “I think he suffered the heart attack because creditors were putting pressure on him, and he had no money.”
“That is very sad, Miss Elizabeth.”
“But God has been my strength all through, Mr. William. That is why I have been able to go on. I lost my mama when I was only nine and then my papa just recently, and everything we own. It was easy to give up, but God gave me the strength to go on, and in His divine mercy, He made a way out for us.”
“Was it that bad?”
Elizabeth nodded. “I don’t want Virginia to know that I know, but when we were in Boston she began to sneak out of the room where we lived, and one day I followed her and found her singing in a very shady tavern.”
“What did you do?” William was horrified, imagining all sorts of things.
“I prayed, and God led me to look for a husband, and that is why I began communicating with you.”
“But from the time that you first wrote to me, until you were able to come here, was about two and a half months. Did Virginia continue singing in those places?”
“Not for long. You see, she was struck down by an illness, and the doctor said it was an inflammation of the lungs. She was bedridden for about a month, and even when she got better she was too weak and could not go out. And that was when you sent us the money. As soon as I got the money, I booked our tickets, and we were out of there.”
“That was very sad. Why would Miss Virginia want to go down that road?”
“When Papa was still alive, she believed that she would be a famous singer and travel the world. And she was getting ready for her coming out party which would have introduced her to society, and fame, she hoped also. And she hoped to find a rich suitor to finance her dream.”
“I understand now.”
“It was a big blow for her when Papa died, and all her dreams died with him. So I really understand what she was going through. I was just glad to get her out of that world. At least here I know she will be okay. This is a lovely place, away from all temptations, and I am hoping that soon she can meet a fine young man and become a wife and mother.”
“Miss Virginia is welcome to live here with us for as long as she wants, and can, until she finds her own place.”
“Thank you, Mr. William.”
“You are welcome, Miss Elizabeth.”
They sat in silence. “Mr. William, can I ask you something?”
“Yes, Miss Elizabeth.”
“That scar, the one on the wrist of your right hand. How did you get it?”
He chuckled, rubbing the scar. “I tried my hand at cooking, and this was the badge of honor that was bestowed on me for my feeble attempts.”
“I am sorry.” She hid her smile.
“Ah! No need to be. It was about a month after Amelia died. We had finished all the food that the parishioners had brought us, and we were hungry. And Kate had gone back to her home, so I tried using that stove. It taught me a lesson I will never forget.”
Over the days Elizabeth began to feel as though things were changing at home. William had brought his horses back and so spent less time away from home. When he was home, he was so attentive to her, and one time he borrowed Pastor Thomas’ oxen wagon and took the girls to Hellgate for a day out as a treat, and also to pick up some supplies for the ranch. He left them to their own devices and returned a while later carrying a package which he put under the seat, offering no explanation as to what it was.
When they got back to the ranch he waited until the younger children and Virginia were in bed before he brought out his surprise package. They had maintained their talks on the porch every day after the evening devotions. William still did not join them, but sat on the porch as always, and once they were done with the prayers Elizabeth would join him on the porch, and they would talk for a long time.
William was pleased with his house. Once again, it was home: the smell of freshly baked breads and pies; his children’s happy laughter; clean clothes; a nice-smelling bed. This was home, and he loved coming home.
“What is this?” Elizabeth received the package which was nicely wrapped in brown paper. She tried to guess what it was, but could not. It felt hard.
“Go on, open it.”
She unwrapped the package and gasped when she saw what was inside. There were two pairs of blue long pants and she knew they would fit her. She had never seen such pants before.
“What are these, and where did they come from?”
“These are the new clothes that miners are now wearing. They are called ‘denims’ and they have just come out.”
“Really? From where?”
“The shopkeeper said it is a certain German immigrant, who is in California, that we have to thank for these. His name is Levi Strauss. Mark my words, soon every cowboy or frontier woman you meet will be wearing these.” He chuckled. “I intend to get all the girls some of those denims, too. They are good for working around the farm and riding.”
“Thank you so much.” The tears welled up in her eyes. This was such a kind gesture from William, and she felt like she was losing control over her resolution to keep this as a business arrangement.
“Hey, those are just working clothes. And besides, I bought them for you because I want to teach you how to ride astride a horse, and none of your clothes are appropriate for that.”
“I don’t know if I want to learn how to ride astride.”
“It is important that you do. Sometimes you may want to go to town in a hurry, and that will get you there faster than if you sit side-saddle.”
“Okay,” she smiled, and his heart almost stopped when her dimples showed. “You are very kind, Mr. William.”
“And I also need to teach you how to handle a gun. Have you ever held a gun before?” Elizabeth shook her head.
“It is important for your safety and the girls, especially against coyotes and snakes. And sometimes we get some rough characters riding around. It is always good to be prepared.”
It made sense to Elizabeth, and she was determined to learn whatever survival skills she needed to live in this new home of hers.
So it was that the next evening Virginia offered to prepare dinner and Elizabeth put on one of her new denims. She felt shy at the way it hugged her, so she put on a long loose frock over it, and William smiled when he saw her. Change for some people did not come easy.
She waited outside while he went into the stables to get the horses and, expecting him to bring her Misty, she was surprised when he led Primrose out instead.
“If you are okay with it, I would like for you to accept Primrose as your horse.”
“Thank you.” She looked at the horse with trepidation.
“Primrose is as gentle as Misty, only she is younger. Misty is too slow.”
Elizabeth felt herself bonding with William over the coming days, and it began to scare her. She was falling in love with her husband and that was not the plan. This was supposed to be a business arrangement. She was not supposed to fall in love with William, and especially not when he was clearly still in love with his dead wife. How does someone compete with a dead person’s spirit?
William taught her how to ride, and even though she was still afraid of the horses, she was learning how to cope. She had to if she was to survive in this place, because for the most part horses were the only means of transportation. She could get on and off her horse without assistance, though she still had to work on her speed. It took Virginia less than two minutes to get onto her horse but Elizabeth struggled, and if anyone was counting it would take her about ten minutes to get on to the horse.
William watched his wife in silent amusement and amazement. She was a feisty little thing and had a determined look in her eye each time they were out to practice more. She gradually learned how to handle a gun very well, and he knew that she would eventually be able to survive as a settler’s wife.
~~~ *** ~~~
Elizabeth held her shawl around her tightly as she went into the barn to collect the eggs that she knew her chicken had laid. She had earlier decided that she would leave some eggs so that they could hatch into chicks, and so increase the number of their poultry. She was careful when collecting the eggs, because the first time she had tried it the hens had pecked at her hands, and the painful lesson was a reminder of how mothers, whether human or animal or bird, will go to any lengths to keep their young ones safe.
It was early morning and she wanted to prepare an early breakfast, because William had told her last night that he would be riding around the property to check on the fence and ensure that it was secure as autumn was slowly approaching, even though the sun was still very hot during the day. Her mission accomplished, she returned to the kitchen and found her daughters and Virginia awake and setting the breakfast table.
“I need to go to Hellgate and stock up on some things,” William announced during breakfast. “I will first ride around the farm to ensure the fence is secure, and then Pastor Thomas will be bringing his ox cart so we can all go to town. So ladies, put on your best frocks and join me on my trip.” The loud cheers that welcomed his announcement warmed his heart. He had a family.
It was a wonderful trip to Hellgate, but Elizabeth noticed that her sister seemed uncomfortable and kept looking around, and at times would even duck.
“Virginia, what is going on? You look as though you are hiding from someone.”
“Oh, it is really nothing. I am just being cautious because some of the men here are looking at me so much, and I do not want to attract any attention.”
It was a lame explanation, but Elizabeth let it pass. She knew Virginia was still going through an adjustment period and did not want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way.
That evening after dinner as usual, the family held their prayers and Elizabeth played the violin. Virginia sang with them, but it was obvious that her mind was distracted. When the prayers were over the girls went to bed and as usual, Elizabeth joined William on the porch.
“Autumn is nearly here, Miss Elizabeth. I hope you have warm enough clothing, because the weather can be very chilly, not to mention winter.”
“Thank you, Mr. William. I think we are all alright. The girls now have many dresses, which are of good material and will keep them warm.”
“I meant you, my dear. Do you have sufficient clothing?”
“Yes, though I ran out of knitting yarn. I am making mittens for the girls and also a pair for you to keep out the cold.”
“I would like to see that.”
“I forgot to ask you to get me some yarn when we were in town today.”
“Remind me to get you some when I go there tomorrow.”
“Yes, Mr. William.”
They sat in companionable silence for a while. Then Elizabeth shivered.
“Cold?”
“A little bit,” she answered, drawing her shawl closer.
William moved from his position and joined her on the settee, which was made for two people, sat down next to her and pulled her close. Elizabeth almost groaned out aloud. His hard body felt so warm and so comforting. She wanted to close her eyes and stay there forever.
“Is that better?” he asked huskily.
“Yes,” she whispered. She could feel his heart beating, a strong steady pulse that almost lulled her to sleep. This was a man that she could depend on, someone she could lean on. If only he were hers to have and to hold, in the real sense of the word. She sighed inwardly. She would not ask for more than he was willing to give. Just having a home for her and Virginia had made a big difference in their lives, and brought them the safety and security that they would not have found had they remained in Boston.
“Miss Elizabeth?”
“Mmmmmh?”
“Are you sleepy yet? Do you want to go in?”
“No, not yet. Just a little while more.”
He drew her closer, and then he raised her chin gently with his right hand and she looked up at him, slightly confused. The full moon was rising and the sky was clear, not a cloud in sight. His breath smelled of mint. William liked to clean his teeth with a Eucalyptus twig each day and so his breath was always fresh.
Like a moth that was mesmerized by a flame, Elizabeth watched as William lowered his head slowly until his lips touched hers. No one had ever told Elizabeth what a kiss was like and she had never been kissed before, but when William put his lips on hers she gave a soft sigh and opened up to him.
William groaned and pulled Elizabeth closer as he deepened their kiss. Her breath was fresh and her soft lips were so enticing, and he felt long buried feelings begin to rise up in him again. A shudder rippled through him and he drew her even closer, both arms holding her close. She fit him so well, her softness against his hardness. And their kiss deepened even more. A thought came into his mind that this was his woman and he wanted to protect her, provide for her and be there for her
Elizabeth felt the heat rising up in her, chasing away the cold not only from her body, but from her heart as well. She felt protected and cherished and wished that this would go on forever, and that William would finally begin to need her as much as she needed him. She turned, put her arms around his waist, and held on to him.
Just when she was getting lost in the kiss, William stopped and pulled away. She felt his withdrawal not just physically, but emotionally as well, and her heart sank.
“I have got to go,” he stood up abruptly.
“William...” she cried out softly.
“Not now, Miss Elizabeth, not now,” and saying this he practically ran down the steps and a few minutes later Elizabeth heard him open the barn door and ride out.
“Oh!” She felt pain in her heart like never before. It was as though the very life was being squeezed out of her, and she closed her eyes and bent down as if in physical pain, moaning. She felt so rejected and abandoned, and her tears fell fast. This man would never come to love her in the way that she desired and she knew that eventually that reality would end up destroying her. She would have to get away and forget all about him. William would never love her, not while he was still in love with Amelia.
Elizabeth shook her head. She deserved the love of a good man, but she was not going to get it from William. She sat for a long while and then came to a decision. When it was daylight she would talk to William in the sobriety of the day, and tell him that she had decided to return to Boston. There she would live like a widow all the days of her life and never marry again, because she knew that what she felt for William was no youthful passion, but deep eternal love that would never end. She could never give her heart to another. William possessed it forever. He had slowly wound his way into her heart, soul and mind and taken permanent residence there, leaving no room for any other.
She shook her head sadly and stood up. Her tears had stopped but the pain in her heart was so deep. She did not get into bed, but sat on the stool beside her bed. She could hear Mary breathing softly on the other bed. Oh, to be young again and have no cares or pain in her life!
And then she heard something else. She listened keenly. It was the sound of the barn door opening again, and she frowned. She had not heard William riding back. She moved to the window which overlooked the stables, and in the moonlight she made out Virginia’s form.
“What?” she whispered. As she watched, her sister led Spitfire out of range of the house and jumped on her and took off.
Elizabeth did not hesitate a moment longer, thankful that she had not taken off her denims yet. She ensured that Mary and Abigail were alright and asleep before she slipped out of the house and closed the door. She ran to the stables and got Primrose.
“Primrose, you and I have to go out this night, and I am sorry to disturb your rest,” she whispered as she struggled to get on to the horse. “But we need to follow Virginia, and learn what she is up to. She could be getting herself into a lot of trouble.” And, as if the horse understood her, she took off in the same direction that Virginia had gone.
“Father,” Elizabeth prayed as she held on tightly to the reins. “Please guide my footsteps so that I can find my sister, before she gets into trouble and ruins her life. Protect us from every form of evil, and protect the children, too. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”