Eleven ElevenRiley and Kevin’s team goes next. Kevin and three other guys I’ve never met before go onstage for this one, and their bus ride skit involves Kevin getting soaked with a lot of water. I can’t say I understand much of it, but it’s still fun to watch. I glance over to Riley while the show is happening and know she wishes she were out there—she’d probably make the whole thing much funnier. She’s good like that.
Next up is Tyler’s team, and there’s a small kick to my stomach when he and Branden step out into the spotlight. Try as I might, I can’t even focus on the other performers—my eyes are glued to Branden, and I can’t tell if the queasy feeling in my gut is anger or desire. The only consolation is the fact that every once in a while, I catch Tyler throwing Branden a small death glare. Knowing that Tyler’s definitely still on my team makes me feel much better. If only I could get over my attraction to Branden.
Their skit starts with one of the kids running up like she’s about to miss the bus. She’s wearing a huge patchwork coat and a hat that I think is actually a felt flowerpot. She gratefully gets on board and squeezes herself in between Tyler and Branden, then begins removing things from her pockets and asking the boys to hold them.
It turns out that’s the gist of the act; she pulls something out, like a rubber centipede, hands it to one of the boys, and they react. Usually by throwing it out the window. The scene ends when she pulls out a baby doll and the bus driver yells that they have a strict no-baby-flinging policy.
I roll my eyes at the bad acting, but if I’m being honest, that’s not what I was focusing on. I couldn’t take my eyes off Branden. I tried. I really tried to keep my attention glued to Tyler and his awkward acting, but my eyes kept sliding over to Branden.
Why did you pick her? I want to ask him. Why wasn’t I good enough for you?
Then I catch Megan from the corner of my eye and those questions die on the floor. A part of me wants to fight for him, to try and show off and catch his attention and hold it. But then I remember—there are only a few days left, and then I’ll probably never see him again. Even if he is from the next town over. I just have to make it through the next week without getting my heart broken and I’ll be okay.
Shouldn’t be too hard, right?
The next group goes on, and I see Branden glancing at me from the corner of his eye as he leaves the stage. My heart flips.
Okay, maybe this will be more difficult than I thought. Here’s hoping practice will keep me busy.
• • •
The rest of the improv show picks up steam, and by the end I’m nearly in tears with laughter. It was so fun to watch that I don’t even care that my team didn’t win—that honor goes to Branden and Tyler’s team. I wander over to Tyler to say good night and congratulate him. Branden stops me before I make it over.
“Jennifer,” he says. The way he voices it, it sounds like a question and a concern.
“Yeah?”
It’s nearly impossible to keep my pulse steady, but I think I’m moderately successful. At least until he puts his hand on my shoulder. Then my heart goes into overdrive.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I catch Tyler’s questioning look and shrug off Branden’s hand.
“Yeah, fine. Thanks.”
“Can I talk to you?” he asks, but then Tyler steps up behind him and interrupts with a big hello and a huge hug.
“I can punch him if you want,” Tyler whispers in my ear. I shake my head slightly, and then he steps back. “You looked good up there,” he says, slapping Branden on the chest. “Wasn’t she funny?”
“Yeah,” Branden replies.
And then Megan steps up beside me like she’s part of the gang.
“Hilarious,” she says. She glances at me. “I’m so glad she’s finding her place in the troupe. Every good show needs a joke.”
“Hey,” Tyler begins, taking a half step toward her. I grab his arm and pull him back.
“Come on,” I say. “She’s not worth it.” And I drag Tyler back to the dorms.
• • •
“I don’t understand her problem,” Riley says, tossing a juggling ball back and forth between her palms. We’re in the back stairwell, her and Tyler and I, and there’s maybe twenty minutes until sign-in.
“Apparently Jennifer’s her problem,” Tyler says. “The way she was looking at you . . . Man, I’m surprised you made it out of there alive.”
“She must see you as a threat,” Riley responds. She tosses the ball to me; I barely catch it and nearly fall off the step when I do.
I laugh. “Clearly. I’m a huge threat.”
“Territorial behavior,” Tyler says. He snatches the ball from my hands and tosses it to Riley. “I hear girls are all about that sort of thing.”
“Oh, please,” Riley says. “Gay boys are worse.”
Tyler just chuckles. “Maybe.” He glances at me, then Riley. “So, are we still a ‘Go’ on Operation Brannifer?”
“Brannifer?” I ask.
Riley smiles and tosses me the ball; I’m expecting it this time, and the catch isn’t nearly as sloppy.
“Code name. You know, Branden and Jennifer, sort of like Brangelina . . .”
“I got it,” I say, tossing the ball back to her. “Do I even want to know?”
“Probably not,” she replies. She turns her attention back to Tyler and tosses him the ball. “But I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to know what he wants, and I can’t stand indecisive guys. I think she could do better.”
“Maybe,” Tyler says, “but I mean, this is her first kiss we’re talking about. I personally think it should happen at the circus. So romantic.”
Indignation flares for a hot second.
“You told him?” I ask.
Riley shrugs. “He guessed.”
“She didn’t even confirm it,” Tyler says, tossing me the ball. “Which is how I knew it was true. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe. But I do still think you should go for it. I mean, Megan’s clearly intimidated, which means you probably have a chance. You do still like him, don’t you?”
Riley answers before I can. “Of course she doesn’t. She would never like a guy who’s all hot and cold.”
I sigh and lean back against the steps, tossing the ball between my hands.
“To be honest, I do still like him. I just wish he’d man up and tell me if he liked me.”
“Good luck, amiga,” Tyler says. “In my experience, boys are horrible at expressing their feelings—gay or straight.”
Riley nods gravely.
“If you want him, you’re probably going to have to go for him yourself.”
“I dunno,” I say. “Do you think he’s worth it?”
“If he’s into you,” Tyler says, “yeah. He’s kind of the whole package.”
“If he’s not playing you like a jerk.”
“There’s really only one way to find out,” Tyler continues.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“You ask him to the dance.”
The dance. I’d done my best to forget—dances and I never got along. The last time I went to a dance was in middle school, for homecoming, and it was only fun because the girls I went with decided to bail early. We spent most of the night eating ice cream and watching stupid horror movies. In our dresses, of course.
“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Shouldn’t he be asking me?” I ask.
“Times change,” Tyler replies. “I already asked Kevin.” He grins wide. “He said yes, by the way.”
Riley squeals “Cute!” and gives him a hug. “You two are adorable. I hope you get married and have adorable circus babies.”
Tyler just laughs and tries to push her off him.
“Calm down, crazy lady,” he says between gasps of laughter. “Remember, it’s Brannifer we’re focusing on now!”
“Right,” Riley says. She lets go, and they both turn to me. “So.”
“So?”
“How do we get Megan out of the picture and you into his muscular arms?” Riley can’t even finish her own sentence without giggling.
I toss the ball at her gently, and she catches it before it reaches her face.
“I hate you both,” I say. As expected, this just makes them giggle even harder.
• • •
Riley and I chat for a good two hours after sign-in. We’re supposed to be asleep, but it’s hard to close your eyes when your best friend won’t stop talking about circus boys being the best and how our partner act is going to blow everyone in the audience away. She’s convinced I’ll be able to do all the advanced tricks with only three days of practice. I’m not so sure.
“Trust me,” she says, turning out the light, “by the time our act is done, Branden will be head over heels in love with you.”
I don’t think I believe her. No offense to Riley, but I’m still not exactly . . . well, proud to be a juggler. I’m in the act because I failed at something else. How am I supposed to be excited? Or feel like I’m showing off? The one thing I wanted to do more than anything else was a bust. And I have a funny feeling that no matter how good the partner act is, it won’t be good enough to impress Branden. He’s already seen me at my worst.
“Isn’t that a little weird?” I ask. “I mean, trying to impress him like that? Shouldn’t you be telling me that he’ll like me no matter what?”
“Meh,” Riley says. “Showing off is natural. The animal kingdom does it all the time. And who are we, if not glorified, awkward animals?”
I don’t try to argue the point. I pull the covers up around me and close my eyes. In less than twelve hours I’ve frozen on a trapeze, discovered my true friends, and realized the guy I like may or may not be interested in someone else. I can only hope that the rest of the camp is a little less chaotic. But, given the circumstances, I have a feeling that my life under the big top is just going to get a heck of a lot stranger.