On the way back to the house Abram kept a sharp eye on the road and listened for Serpent’s car. He needed to keep Miriam out of sight and out of the vile man’s grasp until his uncle returned to Willkommen.
Pulling into the drive, Abram hopped out of the buggy and closed the gate behind them. Usually it stood open to welcome all. Under the circumstances, Abram needed to use any means to keep Serpent at bay. A gate was not much of a barrier, but it would stop unwanted visitors from driving directly to the house.
“I do not want to raise my hand against another man, but Serpent must be stopped,” Abram mumbled to himself after the women had hurried into the house. “I will not let him harm Miriam or Emma.”
Hopefully, Gott would provide the protection they needed so Abram could maintain his desire for good and still hide Miriam’s whereabouts. From what Serpent had said, it sounded as if he thought Miriam was holed up someplace away from the farm, for which Abram was grateful.
The storm clouds that had grown darker over the morning at the river’s edge now turned the day into night. His trusty dog trotted to greet him as he unhitched Nellie in the barn and quickly groomed her.
“Remember the serpent, Bear. We must be vigilant and ensure he does no harm.” Once Nellie was settled in her stall, Abram hurried to the house, but he could not outrun the downpour. The sky opened and the rain fell with fury.
The walkway turned to mud and caught at Abram’s footsteps. Lightening cut across the menacing sky followed by a deafening roar of thunder.
He stomped his feet on the porch to loosen the mud from his boots before he stepped into the warmth and comfort of his kitchen.
Miriam stood at the dry sink with her back to him, her skirts full around her legs. She appeared to be beating batter in a bowl.
For a moment his heart stopped, thinking it was Rebecca. Then she turned and he was struck again by the reality of who had changed his life.
The woman at the dry sink was not his wife. She was Miriam with her troubled gaze and eyes that studied him far too deeply as if always questioning his reaction.
He could not let her know the way his heart lurched and his lungs constricted, making each breath difficult when he was around her.
He was not thinking of his wife or the past, which is what Miriam had mentioned in her anger at the river’s edge. He was thinking of this newcomer to his life who had shattered his plain world and caused him to think thoughts of a new beginning and hope for the future. But she was not interested in an Amish man who disavowed all the technology and electrical devices she was used to having in her Englisch world. Nor was she interested in embracing his Amish faith, which meant there could be no future for them. Abram was a fool to allow his heart to have dominance over his reasoning.
He steeled his gaze and pulled in a deep breath, struggling to maintain a firm control of his voice and his actions. He had to be strong and assertive to guard his heart and his life.
He didn’t need Miriam to disrupt the status quo and cause him to think of what could be. What could be was not reality, and Abram lived in the real world. A world of hard work and faith in Gott. A world where family came first and the Englisch ways were kept from polluting the serenity of the Amish life.
Miriam would never understand him or his ways, which meant there was no hope for them. Ever.
End of subject.
“You’re wet, Abram. I will make coffee. Sit by the fire to get warm.”
Her sincere concern caused another knife to jab at his heart. Her voice was smooth as honey and equally as sweet, and the firm resolve that he had convinced himself was necessary suddenly crumbled. All he wanted was to pull her into his arms, as he had done at the bridge when he had feared she would fall into the water.
Had she felt the erratic pounding of his heart? Did she know how much he longed to have her in his arms again?
Silly, foolish feelings that were not to be allowed.
Without so much as a word, he walked past her and hurried up the stairs to his bedroom. The room where he and his wife had shared the joys of wedded life, but also the room where her life had ended along with the baby’s. The Lord giveth life and the Lord taketh life away.
And now?
Was the Lord giving Abram a new life? Or was he ripping out his heart and sucking the very breath from him so that nothing in the future would ever compare with Miriam?
Abram slammed the bedroom door behind him and reached for his Bible. The scriptures had comforted him after Rebecca’s death.
Would he find comfort from the readings now? Or would even the Word of Gott bring added confusion?
Why had Miriam sought refuge in Abram’s arms when she was running from Serpent?
Abram knew the reason.
Gott had known his loneliness and had longed to bring comfort, but instead of comfort, Miriam’s presence had brought chaos and tumult.
“Forgive me.” Abram shook his head as he prayed. “I know not what to do.”
* * *
The kitchen grew dark, making Miriam long for electricity and lights. Emma stood at the stove, stirring red sauce, seemingly unaware of the dark skies and pounding rain that thrummed against the tin roof. The downpour grew in intensity. Thunder roared and lightning flashed through the darkness with bursts of brightness.
Miriam shivered, chilled by the fury of the storm.
“We are safe here in the house,” Emma assured her, no doubt seeing Miriam grimace as each roll of thunder rumbled overhead.
“I don’t like storms,” she stated emphatically.
“Rain is good for the land. Abram will till the fields soon. The rain will help to soften the soil.”
“Rain doesn’t bother me, but lightning and thunder do.”
Emma glanced out the window. Miriam followed her gaze. Visibility was worse than poor, making the barn and pastures beyond blurred by the downpour.
“You would still be walking to the Rogers’ home if Abram had not taken the buggy to find you.”
Miriam looked at the Amish woman. “I appreciate his thoughtfulness.”
Emma added salt to the sauce. “You do not understand Amish men.”
Miriam raised her brow. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“An Amish man is proud. He works hard. He takes care of his family, his wife, his children. He is the leader of the family. He embraces the Word of Gott and lives by the teachings of Christ.”
“Englisch men do the same. At least, some of them.”
“Perhaps, but Amish men commit totally to the women they love.”
“Good men exist outside the Amish community,” Miriam insisted. Yet the one man who had broken through her guarded heart was Amish.
Miriam swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. “You don’t have to spell out what you’re trying to tell me.”
The Amish woman raised a brow. “You understand then?”
“I understand Abram still loves his wife.”
Emma shook her head. “Then you don’t understand.”
Miriam sighed with exasperation. “What are you trying to say, Emma?”
“Do you see the way he looks at you?”
“Of course, and I know why. I’m wearing his wife’s clothing. He looks at me with longing because he longs for Rebecca.”
Emma harrumphed. “Is that what you think? I noticed that you washed your clothing, but they were hanging outside and got wet in the rain. I moved them into the barn to dry.”
“Thank you. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Just like you aren’t thinking correctly about Abram. Wear your fancy clothes and see how he looks at you then.”
“I wouldn’t call my jeans and sweater fancy.”
“Fancy is a term we Amish use for anything other than our plain clothing. You understand? It is an expression, yah? But you talk around my comment.”
“You mean Abram won’t look at me at all if I wear regular clothes?”
Emma shook her head and sighed. “It is not something we need to discuss further. Our midday meal must be cooked.”
Miriam didn’t understand the sharpness of Emma’s tone. She sounded as if she was accusing Miriam of being the one at fault.
How could that be? Miriam had done nothing to provoke Abram or his sister. All too quickly she realized her mistake. Miriam had brought tumult and danger to their peaceful lives.