after the New Yorker cartoon by Peter Steiner, 1993
On the internet, nobody knew I was a dog,
how I’d raise my hind leg to piss, bark
viciously at cats on my anonymous blog.
O trolls, those dog days were a lark.
I, Sirius, outshone all in the Canis Major,
blew my master’s whistle in his park.
Bitch! he yelled. Track and cage her.
Failed to guess at my dog’s bollocks,
as I buried my bone-to-pick deeper
in the Darknet where encryption locks.
Once bitten, twice bitcoin:
a silken road to Anything Stocked.
Second lifer, don’t whimper – feign
identities. Dangle spam bait, flog
lives as authorities neuter the anodyne.
Only saps are hacked as they iSlog.
On the internet, nobody knows I am a dog.