CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

ISLA DE COTORRAS—1719

“I’M GLAD WE BUTCHERED THE LAST OF THE SHEEP, EVEN IF JACK AND BILL should be back soon,” Cager said as the men that had been seated around the fire stood. “It’s lovely when there’s more than enough to go around!”

The other men laughed and nodded, but they looked pensive as they rose to make water and find another bottle. Mary glanced up as she hacked a second helping of meat from the ribs of a sheep carcass, trying to gauge Anne’s reaction to the mention of Jack’s return.

“It’s odd,” said Anne, looking sideways at Mary as she licked the grease from her fingers. “I’m almost sad Jack is coming back. I thought I’d be so lonely and scared while he was gone, like I always am—but it’s been fine. I haven’t been lonely at all.”

Mary managed to tug a meaty rib from the spit and sat back down. “I know what you mean,” said Mary, with a flash of nerves. “It’s been—nice. I’ve never been able to be free with someone before.”

“So you’ve never been honest, even with a boy?” asked Anne, raising her brows. Light from the fire flicked across her face, lips glistening.

“No.” Mary spat a bit of gristle into the fire.

“Have you ever wanted to?”

Mary thought of Nat, tapping that spoon against her lip on a dusk-darkened pallet. “Aye.”

“Oh,” Anne sighed. “How terribly star-crossed. I can just imagine it!”

All the little bits of Nat she’d memorized—Mary had never talked about them with anyone. She tried to picture him, all of him, but found she had trouble recalling his hands, his eyes, his shoulders, his smell. He was starting to grow dim in her mind, even his freckled lip not as real to her anymore as the one Anne rubbed a stained sleeve against to wipe off a smear of grease. “I was speaking the truth that first morning we met,” she said. “Chasing him is what brought me here to the islands.” She needed to remember all his sweet details, the passion that had driven her across the ocean. She needed the last time she’d seen him to not be the end of their story.

“Well. When we return to Nassau, guns blazing, we’ll be sure to demand your sweetheart is delivered straight to you.”

Anne was still going on about rebellion and seeing the governor swing. The fire snapped and flared, and Mary remembered Bill’s mussel-burning brand. When he and Jack got back, the winds would shift one way or the other. “I’ve been meaning to ask you,” she said casually. “Why don’t you side with Bill? Why don’t you stay as far away from New Providence as possible, if you’re so afraid of your husband?”

Anne’s jaw set. “It’s me home. Before Governor Rogers came I felt safe enough there, protected by Jack and others. I’m livid every time I think about what Jimmy did to me, but you know what enrages me even more? How people started to think that he had a right to do what he did, and that I was the one who should be put in the pillory. That whole town needs to be burned to the ground and started over.”

“There must be some way to get justice besides that,” Mary mused. “There must be some way for you to go home without destroying it.”

“Have you ever been made to feel completely powerless?” Anne challenged her. “Have you ever been dismissed, just because you’re not a man? Why no, I don’t believe you have. You have no idea what it’s like.”

That made her teeth clench, and Mary chose her words carefully. “That has happened to me, actually. But it’s not as simple to fight back as you make it sound. Some things are the way they are, and all there is for us to do is to find a way to live with them.”

“You sound just like Jack, you know that?” Anne snapped. “I shouldn’t have to be content to accept things as they are. I deserve better.”

“What if you could go home to Nassau and find a way to keep you safe from James?” Mary asked, an idea dawning on her. You could end a marriage if you had a man and enough money. “Jack gets that double share. So long as the crew is behind Jack, a couple more prizes like the Vissen, and Jack could pay James off for you, whenever you end up returning to Nassau.”

“Ugh, like I’m a bloody cow. He could pay for me, and then he could leave me or do whatever he wanted because I belonged to him? I’d only marry Jack if I had no other choice.”

“It wouldn’t be so different from what’s happening now, would it?”

“How’s that, Mary?” Anne’s eyes narrowed. “Please, I’d love to know.”

“I’m just saying that Jack’s not the worst person to serve. I’m rather enjoying the freedom I enjoy under Jack’s command, and it seems like you enjoy quite a bit of it yourself.”

Anne’s mouth twisted in disgust. “You’re never free, so long as you’re subject to someone—to a captain, or the crown, or whatever good-for-nothing man decides to lord over you.”

“You’d rather burn New Providence to the ground than compromise?”

“Not if I’m the only one who has to compromise!” Anne’s voice rose. “If we went back to Nassau and Jack paid James off, I’d have to see Jimmy’s smirking face every day and know he got away with being such a devil. No—he got paid for it. He got rewarded. Can you even imagine?”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Mary said exasperatedly. “Storming Nassau is never going to happen, no matter that there’s a handful of rebels egging you on. In the meantime, what happens if the crew decides Jack shouldn’t be captain? What if the crew mutinies, and you’re caught in the middle of it? Or what if he goes back for pardon and leaves you here to rot?”

Anne stared at her for moment, lips parted. “I can’t believe this,” she said finally, outrage building in her voice. “You act so sympathetic, so sorry for what happened, but then you refuse to do anything about it, just like every other bloody man. You’ve spent so much time living as Mark that you haven’t had to think about how it might be for someone like me!”

“You have no idea how hard it’s been for me!” Mary said, voice rising to match.

“It’s been just as easy for you as for every other arsehole parading around this beach!” Anne shouted. Men sitting at other fires quieted their conversations, turned to look. “Otherwise you’d understand!”

Mary stood, tossing her bone into the flames. “If that’s what you think, you can go to hell,” she said and stalked off.