“Yvonne, my deepest of condolences about Trevor. I was horrified when I saw the plane crash, and doubly so when your fiancé was identified as one of the victims. Do you know when the arrangements will be?” George sounded surprisingly more sympathetic than Yvonne would have envisioned.
“This Friday at eleven in the morning.” She set the book on the bed and waited. George had followed politeness protocol and was going to ask about the book now. When he didn’t, she gave him the address where the funeral would be held.
“Vivian and I will be there. Again, I am deeply sorry for this huge loss.”
“Thank you.” She’d almost said “danki,” the one Pennsylvania Dutch word she’d learned while in Indiana.
The call ended, and Yvonne stood in her bedroom holding the phone, gazing at the book on her bed. The one that still hadn’t made it to the top shelf of her closet. She was torn about reading it. It had upset and confused her so much the last time that it didn’t feel worth the risk. But what if the man who saw Jesus changed her mind about her beliefs, offering her some sort of comfort at a time when she needed it the most? Even though she didn’t believe the author’s story, the writer of the far-fetched tale seemed to.
When her phone buzzed in her hand, she jumped but quickly looked at the caller ID. She sat on her bed and answered. “Hi, Jake.”
“How are you?” he asked, followed by a long pause. “Dumb question, I’m sure.”
“Too many unanswered questions.” She tucked her legs underneath her on the bed, stared at the book, then said, “I can’t keep that book, Jake.”
“Why? You were perfectly willing to buy it when you arrived. I think you should have it.”
Yvonne tried to decide if she should be insulted. Ultimately, she decided that she shouldn’t. They’d gotten to know each other a little, and he was being honest with her. “I feel differently now.”
Jake was quiet. “I think you should read it, then sell it. I know the first part of the book upset you, but I believe there is a message within the pages, something that might give you comfort.”
“Or torment me for the rest of my life.” She spoke without thinking. “Sorry. It’s just that I’m not up for a religious debate challenging everything I’ve ever believed to be true.”
“It is your choice to make.”
She was tempted to lash out at him, tell him what a stupid thing it was for him to do, to give her a book worth over a hundred thousand dollars. She still didn’t know what she was going to do about George, but she suspected the book would end up on that shelf in her closet, at least for a while. She would feel guilty if she sold it, even though she’d only keep her commission and send the rest to Jake, whether he liked it or not. But the alternative—reading it—was more frightening.
Jake asked her when and where the arrangements were going to be, also saying that he and Eva would not be able to make it to the funeral but that their thoughts and prayers would be with her. Yvonne had never expected her new Amish friends to travel all the way to Texas for a man they’d never met.
After a long pause, Yvonne said, “Jake, I’m going to change the subject, and I’m about to step into your business. The old cliché ‘Life is short’ has taken on a whole new meaning for me. It’s no secret Eva cares about you, and I believe you have feelings for her too. Act on them. Don’t wait.”
Silence.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said after a while. “But it’s probably too late. Eva is going on a date with someone in our district tonight. It’s their first date, and the man is very nice. I’ve heard the ladies think he’s quite handsome as well.” He paused. “I’ve known his feelings for Eva for quite a while, so I’ve stayed in the background. That’s the right thing to do.”
Yvonne could hear the regret in his voice. “That doesn’t mean things will ever go past a first date. A guy can’t just stake his claim on a woman who may or may not care about him in a romantic way.” She wondered if Eva might be trying to make Jake jealous. If so, she might have said too much already. “Two people have to love each other.”
She glanced at the time on her phone. Indiana was an hour ahead of Texas, so Eva would already be on her date. “I’ll be rooting for you and Eva.” Her voice started to crack, and after Jake told her again that he’d be praying for her, they ended the call.
Even though every inch of her being told her to stuff that book away in the closet and lie to George that she didn’t have it, a pull greater than her own resistance found her hand defying her mind and reaching for Walk with Me.
She made a pot of coffee—not that she needed it since sleep felt out of the question—then settled under her covers, which had been her hangout since she’d arrived home. With shaky hands she turned to page forty, where the author had just begun a conversation with Jesus.
This is a mistake. But she turned the page.
* * *
Eva opted not to spritz herself with lavender spray. Nor did she apply any of the clear lip gloss Yvonne had given her. John would appreciate her just the way she was or not at all. Still, even though that was her attitude, she didn’t want to sabotage this date. She owed it to herself and John to see if there was anything there between them. Maybe she had focused too hard on what could have been with Jake.
“You look lovely,” her mother said when she walked into Eva’s room. “And I’m happy to see you going on a date. Do you know where he’s taking you?” She walked to where Eva was standing and tucked a loose hair beneath her prayer covering. “Dark green is a good color for you.” She smiled.
“Officer Byler—Abraham—stopped by the bookstore today. He had run into John, who told him he was taking me somewhere that required a driver. Somewhere fancy, apparently.” She avoided her mother’s eyes until her mother cupped her chin and forced her to meet her sympathetic gaze.
“Mei maedel, I know this is not the man you were holding out for, but John Yoder is a gut man. I hope you will give this a chance, because I suspect John has been holding out for you.” Her mother winked at her as she patted her arm.
“I am. And I know he’s a gut man.” Eva was going to do her best and also hope she didn’t constantly wish she was with Jake.
“Have you heard from the Englisch woman, Yvonne?” The lines across her mother’s forehead deepened. “I’ve thought about her a lot since she left.”
“Nee, I haven’t heard from her, but I’m planning to write her a letter.” She hung her head and sighed. “I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”
“I hope you never have to.” Her mother pointed out the bedroom window. “Your date is pulling onto the driveway in a dark blue car. It looks nice.”
Eva glanced out the window then back at her mother. “Please tell me that Josh, David, and Amos aren’t in the living room. At least one of them will say something to embarrass me.”
Her mother chuckled. “I told all your bruders to make themselves scarce, that they were not to come into the living room when John arrived. I’m sure he will come in to say hello to your father and me.”
“Danki, Mamm.” She took a deep breath. “Here I go. I can’t believe I’ve waited this long to go on a first date. I’m a little nervous.”
“Just be yourself, maedel. You’ll be fine.”
Eva followed her mother downstairs and hit the landing just as John knocked on the door, which her father promptly opened. “Wie bischt, John.” Her father shook his hand, and then John greeted her mother.
Eva tried to smile, but it turned out she was more nervous than she’d thought. They weren’t even in the car yet, and Eva was already wondering if he would try to kiss her goodnight.
“What time would you like for me to have Eva home?” John asked her father.
Eva glanced at the clock on the mantel. Straight up 6:00 p.m.
“I believe ten is a reasonable time.” Eva’s father looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders, and John nodded before he turned to Eva.
“Are you ready?”
“Ya.” She walked ahead of him as he held the door open.
“You look nice,” John said as he opened a door to the back seat of the waiting car.
“Danki.” Eva’s stomach started to roil, and she wondered if she’d even be able to eat. She jumped when John slipped into the seat beside her.
He smiled. “Eva, please don’t be nervous. We’re going to have a wonderful time.”
It was so heartfelt and honest that Eva started to relax right away. “Okay,” she said before she smiled. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He winked at her. “I think you’ll like it.”
“I’m sure I will.” Eva smiled back at him, her stomach settling and excitement building.
* * *
Jake spooned beef stew from a can into a pot on the stove, wishing he had some of his mother’s cooking. She didn’t know Eva was on a date with John Yoder or she surely would have left a meal in his refrigerator. Something more comforting than stew from a can.
As he turned up the burner and stirred his supper, his emotions bounced back and forth between jealousy and anger—neither right in the eyes of the Lord. Good doses of fear and regret were also mixed in. What if Jake’s good intentions had cost him a future with Eva?
Life was out of sync. Normally, he went to work, spent the day with Eva, chatted with visitors, then went home, ate, and went to bed. If there was anything wrong with that schedule, it was the evenings when loneliness settled in. But he was usually so tired from working outside when he got home that he’d fall into a deep sleep.
Tonight he was restless, and after he ate his less than extraordinary stew, he found himself pacing his house, going room to room, wondering if anything was out of sync there too. But everything was as it should be. He considered visiting his parents, a short walk across the property, but why let his mood rub off on them? Instead, he showered, got into bed, and tried not to feel sorry for himself as he pictured Eva on her date with John.
After he’d tortured himself long enough about that, he moved on to Yvonne. Maybe he’d made a horrible mistake by giving her the book. If she didn’t read it or sell it, would she really put it in her closet where it might rot until someone found it? His grandfather wouldn’t want that.
He fluffed his pillow with his fist, much too hard, as if the pillow had done something wrong. Then he lay down and stared at the ceiling.
* * *
Eva was surprised how relaxed she’d managed to stay during the drive to Bloomington. John owned his own construction company, which explained the nice way he filled out his white shirt that he’d paired with black slacks. Instead of a straw hat, he wore a black felt one. Eva knew people would stare at them when they walked into the restaurant. The farther away they went from populated Amish areas, the more attention they drew. Eva suspected the ladies would home in on John’s mesmerizing brown eyes and wavy dark hair. It was cut in the traditional style, but his cropped bangs hung like crimped ribbons above his dark eyebrows, and his hair curled slightly as it rested just above the collar of his shirt.
John had done most of the talking, telling her about his business and plans for the future. He was currently finishing renovations on an old farmhouse on property adjacent to his parents’ homestead.
“It sounds lovely but like a big project,” Eva said as she found herself hanging on his every word. He was soft spoken, which she already knew, but he conversed with a sense of calm that seemed to rub off on her. With Jake, she was always fighting for his attention, and her boss could go from calm to shook up in about a second. Moody. Jake was moody.
“Mei bruders have been lending a hand. Neither of them wanted the old place, but when I began the repairs, they jumped in to help.” He smiled at Eva. “It’s where I hope to raise a family someday. From the kitchen there is a beautiful sunrise, and in the bedroom the sun sets in full hues behind the trees that line the immediate two acres around the property.”
Normally, Eva would have blushed, but John’s smooth and silky words continued to keep her calm yet excited about their destination.
He pointed to their right. “We’re here. Have you ever been there?”
Eva strained to see past John and into the lights that shone around the restaurant, then shook her head. It wasn’t dark yet, the sun only starting to set, but the place was lit up like the fairgrounds they’d visited as children.
“Gut, it’s not crowded,” John said as the driver turned into the parking lot. “Probably because it’s a Wednesday.”
Eva smiled, eager to try a new restaurant. She didn’t think anyone cooked better than her mother, but they had the same things all the time, mostly because her mother had to make large quantities to satisfy Eva’s brothers’ appetites.
After John exited the car, he offered Eva a hand and helped her out. Then he kept a hand on her back all the way to the front door of Samira’s Restaurant. Once inside, all eyes homed in on them, as Eva had expected. The hostess led them to a small table for two toward the back of the restaurant, and she even pulled out Eva’s chair for her before laying two menus in front of them. They each ordered iced tea even though the waitress had left a wine list on the table. Wine was reserved for weddings, though the ambience of the restaurant seemed to call for it.
“This is a beautiful place,” Eva whispered from across the small table. Romantic was the word that came to mind. She wondered where Jake would have chosen to take her on a first date. Would it have been somewhere this fancy? “Have you ever eaten here before?”
“Nee, I’ve only heard about it. I thought it would be fun to try something new together.” He smiled, the dim lighting twinkling in his eyes, lending a golden glow that momentarily kept her fixated on him. Romantic place and handsome man.
Eva studied the menu, glancing over the top of hers to see that John was doing the same thing, a perplexed look on his face. His eyes met hers, and he cleared his throat. “I’ve never heard of most of this stuff.” He chuckled, which instantly drew a giggle from Eva.
“Thank goodness. I was wondering if it was just me. I was thinking earlier how much I lieb mei mamm’s cooking but how nice it would be to have something different. But I have no idea what to order.” She scanned the offerings that looked like they were in a different language.
“We can play it safe and order one of the pastas. Or we can get a little crazy and order Kurmo Tchallao, whatever that is, or Aamarok Lawang.” He laughed again, and so did Eva. “I’m sure I’m not pronouncing either one of those correctly.”
She sat a little taller and pressed her palms together, grinning. “I say we get a little crazy.”
John smiled. “Crazy it is.”
Eva basked in the glow of John’s gaze for longer than she had intended, but her mind drifted long before her eyes did. She wondered what Jake would have ordered.
* * *
By the time they arrived back at Eva’s house, her chest had begun to tighten. It had been a lovely evening with good food and conversation. There had been laughter, and she’d been more relaxed than she would have imagined. John was a truly likable person, which she already knew since they’d grown up together. But he was even more personable in an intimate setting. Now she faced the biggest challenge of the evening. Would he want to kiss her goodnight, and should she let him?
He told the driver he wouldn’t be long. Then he opened the door for Eva and ushered her to the front door.
“I had a really gut time.” Eva’s hands trembled, so she folded them together in front of her.
“So did I. Danki for going out with me. I-I hope I’m not being too forward by saying that I hope we can do it again soon.”
The only light shone from the propane lamp in the yard, so Eva couldn’t be sure, but John looked like he might be blushing. Maybe he was nervous too. And his comment seemed to warrant a response.
“I’d like that,” she said, irritated that she thought about Jake. Again. At this very moment.
John gently took both of her arms in his hands and leaned forward. It was coming. The kiss. She’d never had one. It would be inappropriate for a first date, but her feet were rooted to the porch. Her hands clenched in front of her. And her heart pounded like a base drum in her chest. As his lips came toward hers, Jake’s face flashed in her mind’s eye. She’d always dreamed he would be her first kiss.
When John’s lips gently brushed against her cheek and not her mouth, she wasn’t breathing.
“I’ll be hoping to see you soon,” he said before he eased away and turned to leave.
It was perfect. Everything. Even the simple kiss on the cheek completed the evening in perfect fashion—caring yet respectful.
John Yoder was everything a woman could want in a man.
But any euphoria Eva felt evaporated with each step she took. Into the house. Up the stairs. Across her room to sit on her bed.
Why couldn’t it have been Jake?