100 CENTRE STREET NYC:
The courtroom doors swung open and voices of anxious clients, lawyers and hackneyed bondsmen in the hallway, washed in. Suddenly there was silence from outside and it swept inside the courtroom as she entered. The woman was tall, wearing a pale blue hand tailored jacket and skirt that clung to her shapely thighs. High heels accentuated long well formed legs. "It's some time," Jobynski thought, "since a woman made him sit up." Her hair was honey blond, shoulder length and framed an oval face with high cheekbones accenting dark bright oriental eyes. "Eurasian." He guessed. She stopped, scanned the benches on both sides, turned and her face creased into a smile that lit up the room. Vinegar Joe's Adam's apple jumped. She was looking directly at him. She extended her hand and stepped forward saying, "Hello!" .He started to stand and shake her hand. He pulled his hand back to brush Crackerjack crumbs from his shirt front. She waited hand out. Her grip was cool and firm. "I'm Kathy Connors," she whispered, "Let's go outside."
"Why?" Vinegar Joe said and was embarrassed at the strained sound of his voice.
"You want to nail my client's ass."
Jobynski thought. "There's a hundred guys in this room who'd like to nail your ass," But he said, "Congresswoman Ringle certainly sent the best."
"Well thank you so much." Kathy Connors smiled and gave a mock curtsy.
"You're in a good mood for a lawyer whose client is a dead man."
"I rarely lose," She said and Vinegar Joe followed her through the swinging doors. Every man in and outside the courtroom wished he was Jobynski.
"My law firm...." she said.
"You're too young to have a law firm."
"Graduated Harvard Law School and passed my bar exam at 18.
Jobynski snorted, "You'll have to be a genius to get Reverend Smith out of jail."
She spun around, looked into his eyes and said, "Five hundred dollars says Smith doesn't spend the night in jail."
"That's confidence," Jobynski said.
"I'm good," She said and held out her hand asking, "Is it a bet?"
Jobynski couldn't resist touching her, he took the outstretched hand the contact was shocking. He muttered, "If I win you also buy me lunch."
"And when I win you take me to the opening game of the New York Mets."
"You're a loser," Jobynski said. "Captain Moran had Paul Smith under surveillance before the incident. We've got him recorded giving the orders leading to the deaths of six-hundred and ten people."
"I thought it was 613?"
"Three witnesses, all children showed up at the hospital."
"Did you Mirandize Reverend Smith?"
"By the book."
"What about God?"
"What about him?"
"I'd like to speak with my client before he's arraigned?"
"I'll fix it." Jobynski grinned and said, "I'll take a pastrami on rye at Katz's Deli."
"And I'll have a seat behind the Mets' dugout," she said, "two hot dogs with mustard and a Budweiser."
Jobynski smiled and felt muscles in his face he hadn't used in a very long time. He said, "You're a cockeyed optimist."
She opened the door leading to the bull-pen and the arrestees awaiting arraignment. She gave him an exaggerated finger wave saying, "TATA!"
"Ta Ta, your sweet ass," Jobynski thought. "It's going to cost you pastrami on rye a Cel-Ray soda and $500 bucks." He bought another box of Crackerjacks and settled in at the rear of the courtroom. It usually took hours to appear before the judge in night court.
Captain Jim Moran slipped into Jobynski's aisle. He helped himself to some crackerjacks and sat down. "Your boy will be out in a few minutes," Moran said. "The D.A. himself is handling the arraignment."
"How come so fast?"
"Reverend Smith's lawyer got connections. Judge Weinberger even apologized for taking this long."
"Will there be any shenanigans with the arraignment?"
"No, Weinberger's a straight arrow. He does admire beautiful women and Kathy Connors is a knockout!"
"Is she married?" Jobynski asked.
"I didn't see a ring."
"That don't mean squat," Jobynski said.
"Now that Smith is lawyered up, you're probably finished."
"I'm inside his head and beginning to see the world from his point of view," Jobynski said. “I need a little more time with him."
"How about God?"
"Can't say,"
"How will you know?"
"Throw out what's impossible. What's left is true."
"So God is out the window?"
"For sure."
"But you have yet to speak with him?"
Jobynski's brow wrinkled and he said, "That's the second time you told me that?" But Moran was up and pointing. "Here they come!"
"She's walking behind the wheelchair as if she's pushing it," Jobynski said.
"She's playing for the judge's sympathy." Moran said.
"She'll need it," Jobynski said. "Paul Smith is a liar and I’m going to win five hundred bucks."
"All rise!" The court Clerk announced, " The New York City Criminal Court is now in session Judge Emanuel Rodriquez Weinberger presiding. Case number 1187852 the state of New York versus Paul Smith. The charge is manslaughter 610 counts."
"Why is the District Attorney only going for manslaughter?" Moran asked.
"First he takes the most provable," Jobynski said. "He'll add others."
"Your honor," Kathy Connors said and she stepped from behind Paul Smith's wheelchair smoothing her skirt, looking up and turning the brightness of her smile into the judge's face. "My client referred to as Paul Smith is Reverend Smith."
"Clerk," the judge said, "amend the record as suggested."
"In addition," Kathy Connors nodded to the clerk, "I respectfully request my client also be referred to in the charges as God."
"Mrs. Connors," the judge said,
"Ms. Connors."
"Ms. Connors," the judge said, "I have shown you some leeway because of the severity of the charges. Don't take advantage."
"And I am appreciative, your honor. But the charges will never stand up to the scrutiny of the law. My client was questioned by FBI agent Joseph Jobynski while in custody at the 83rd Precinct, "
"Is agent Jobynski in the courtroom?"
"Yes, your honor," Jobynski answered.
"Come forward, "the judge ordered.
Vinegar Joe disliked courtroom appearances. He was made more uncomfortable as Kathy Connors smiled at him like he was the canary and she a hungry pussycat. He stood on the other side of Paul Smith's wheelchair away from her and facing the judge.
"Did you interrogate Reverend Smith?" The judge asked.
With the word interrogate, Paul Smith looked up and Vinegar Joe saw a big shit eating grin crease Smith's large unshaven face.
"Yes your honor,"
"Did you follow proper procedures?"
"Yes sir. Video and voice are recorded."
"Your honor," Kathy said, "that is exactly why God's name must be included in the charges."
"Explain it to me." The Judge ordered.
Kathy turned to Jobynski and asked, "Did you speak to God?"
"I spoke to Paul Smith who was attempting to pass himself off as a split personality."
"Are you a psychiatrist?" Kathy asked.
"No." Jobynski answered. "But neither is Paul Smith God."
"Are you qualified to give that assessment?" Kathy asked.
"I was a Catholic priest for six years."
"Defrocked?" Kathy said.
Jobynski remained silent.
Kathy asked again, "Agent Jobynski weren't you defrocked?"
"Yes," he answered and saw supreme confidence in her face but didn't understand why. She couldn't win.
"Which of the two characters you interrogated spoke most intelligently and honestly?"
Now Jobynski suddenly felt a trap closing on him but couldn't make out its form. "The God character," He answered.
"Did you Mirandize God?" she asked.
"Your honor?" Jobynski addressed the Judge.
"I agree," the judge pointed, "Ms. Connors that's enough."
"Your honor," Kathy Connors said, "agent Jobynski's claims the God character is dominant. Shouldn't God have been Mirandized first? If not first at least the questioning of the God personality should have been recorded."
The judge turned to Jobynski who said, "By the book your honor."
"Sir," Kathy said. "Captain James Moran of the 83rd Precinct is here and he audited the questioning of my client. He will attest to my testimony."
Judge Weinberger looked at Jobynski who said, "Your honor I have every confidence Captain Moran will confirm my account of the questioning." Jobynski looked down into that stupid grin on Paul Smith's face and wanted to punch it flat.
"Will Captain Moran please come before the bench," the Court clerk ordered.
Jim Moran fastened the brass uniform collar button under his square double chin and marched forward. Jobynski tried to catch his eye and smile but Moran looked away and Vinegar Joe's heart went into his shoes. He heard Moran identify himself and then answer the Judge, "No, your honor. I have no recollection of agent Jobynski interrogating the defendant. as God"
"Your honor?" Kathy Connors questioned.
The judge nodded to her and said, "Captain, you will refer to Reverend Smith by his title or as the accused. Now Captain Moran, answer me this, is it possible for agent Jobynski to have questioned… Hrrrmph!" the judge covered his lips and mumbled, "could he have talked to God, without you knowing?"
"Anything is possible your honor."
The judge leaned forward pointed his gavel at Moran and asked, "Is it probable?"
Moran looked at the floor and shook his head, "No your honor."
"Your honor!" Jobynski said.
"You'd best remain quiet Doctor Jobynski," the judge warned.
"I can't your honor. I am here to uphold the law and tell the truth."
"It appears both are in question," the judge said. "Attorneys, approach the bench.
The District Attorney flashed an angry look at Jobynski and accompanied Kathy Connors before the judge. Justice Weinberger leaned forward and a heated whispered discussion ensued. The judge straightened up and said "Step back from the bench." The Judge scratched his chin as if to rip the answers from his throat. "Some unorthodox questions have been raised," He said. "I will, of necessity take some unorthodox measures." He pointed to Moran, "Captain, can you accommodate the accused for one more night in your precinct?"
"Yes your honor."
"Reverend Smith," the judge said, "the facilities here at 100 Centre Street are not suitable for someone in a wheelchair. As there is confusion regarding the legality of your arrest, you will return with Captain Moran to the 83rd Precinct until morning."
"What is the bail?" the District Attorney asked.
"Bail is meant to ensure the appearance of the accused." The judge said. "Given the Reverend's physical condition and his agreement to be held over night in a police station he isn't a flight risk. The accused is released in his own recognizance."
"Your honor," Kathy Connors said, "due to the apparent disorientation of my client I respectfully request permission to remain with him until he appears before you tomorrow?"
"Permission granted with the condition that Professor Jobynski in his role as representative of the FBI is always with you and every action and word is videoed and recorded."
"Thank You." Kathy Connors said and pushed a grinning Paul Smith past Jobynski. Smith turned on the wheelchair's electric motor. Kathy held out her hand palm up silently mouthed the words to Jobynski, "Five –hundred dollars!" Lawyers, bail bondsmen and courtroom reporters stood and applauded the beautiful Ms. Connors. The judge banged his gavel for order but Kathy Connors and Smith had entered the hallway where raucous cheering broke out from an admiring crowd."
"Jesus Christ," Moran said to Jobynski, "I can see the headlines in the Daily News tomorrow. They'll crucify us."
"Me! Jobynski snapped. "They'll crucify me because I didn't Mirandize God! This is bullshit!"
"You want a ride back to the precinct with us?" Moran asked.
Jobynski grabbed Moran by the arm and spun him around. Moran was a head taller and weighed twice as much as Jobynski but he flinched when the FBI agent said, "You sold me out. How much did Charlene Ringle pay you?"
Moran's face turned beet red. He reached out with two large meaty hands and lifted Jobynski off the floor by his lapels. You little shit. If I hit you I'd be sued for scattering garbage. He threw Jobynski against the corridor wall and walked away saying, "Find your own way back."