THE TWENTY-ONE CLUB, N.Y.C.
"How did you get reservations for the entire staff?" Dr. Krauthammer asked the producer."Money talks. When Rupert Murdoch calls people listen. Fox made a bundle on our commercials. We had twice as many viewers than expected. Next week we'll do even better."
"The question is, will Jobynski appear?" Dr. Krauthammer asked.
“Why not?
"The Page overheard him and Ms. Connors agreeing to a 60 Minute interview before ours."
"That's not good."
"It means they'll do our show."
"It won't have the same impact if they appear on 60 Minutes first."
""I'm counting on them to honor their word to us."
"I believe they will,” Dr. Krauthammer said. "But if they spill the beans on 60 Minutes there'll be no reason for our show?"
"I want you to talk to Kathy Connors," the producer said.
"She's a beautiful woman."
"I could build half a dozen commercials around her and sell them before the ink was dry. Ask if she would confine the subjects on 60 Minutes to overpopulation and inter-planetary settlement. Ask if they can save the spiritual, moral and Godly aspects for our show?
"She's an excellent lawyer," said. "I doubt she'll accept any restrictions?"
"Give her a call," the producer said. "There's a bonus if you succeed."
The Page left the table group of studio staff, "Sir, he said to the producer, "Father Klein was admitted to Sloan Kettering Hospital. The Chief radiologist met him in the emergency room."
"It pays to have Protextzia," the producer said. "Rupert Murdoch donates to cancer research."
"Its radiation poisoning from Fukashima," Krauthammer said.
"Who the hell would volunteer there when the Japanese are running away," the producer said.
"A religious man," the Page said.
"I guess you're right," the producer patted the Page's arm. "You go back and enjoy the meal." He turned to Krauthammer, "Call Kathy Connors."
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"Ms, Connors?"
Yes?"
Charles Krauthammer here,"
"What can I do for you?"
"We at Fox understand that CBS will interview you for 60 Minutes?"
"Yes."
"I hope you understand and will want to help us at Fox. We'd like to save your revelations about speaking to God for our show."
"I expect that is exactly what 60 Minutes wants to discuss?"
"It would weaken our upcoming broadcast and disappoint our viewers," said."
"What do you suggest?" Kath asked.
"Focus on those issues dealing with overpopulation. Limit the spiritual aspects of your meeting with God. We'd like our panel to discuss that with you on our show."
Kathy asked herself the question and the answer was an immediate, "Yes!" She automatically thought, 'Why?' And the answer came back, "There's not enough time on Sixty Minutes. You will require the second appearance on Fox to explain"
"We will try," Kathy said. "On condition Professor Jobynski agrees.
"Do we have a deal?" asked.
"Subject to the Professors consent."
"Where will Professor Jobynski's wife be buried?"
"Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Her family was among the founders of that city. The funeral takes place Tuesday at noon."
"Will you be there?" asked.
"I think not. Business keeps me from attending." Kathy didn't say that she was withdrawing from all clients in her law firm and would serve only God. She asked herself, 'Am I doing right?"
"Yes." The answer was immediate and emphatic,
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Reverend Wessels and his wife entered Sloan Kettering Hospital and took the elevator to the Radiology Department. "I hope we're not disturbing you," Parker Wessels said.
"I'm glad to see a familiar face. Father Klein said. "Please come in."
"This is Leonora, my wife."
"Mrs. Wessels please have a seat."
"Call me Lee. I brought some fried chicken. We thought we might have dinner together."
"They say I'm on a special diet. But that smells good and I'm ready to cheat."
"No cheating allowed. Lee said. "I called the dietician, she approved."
"I'm pleased you came," Adolph Klein said, "especially with the food. I haven't eaten today."
"What have they done for you?" Parker Wessels asked.
"This is the third infusion, some pills, and I'm certain your chicken will cure the rest."
"Would you like a pulka? Lee asked.
"What's a Pulka?"
"It's Yiddish for a chicken leg," Lee said.
"I forgot you two spent time in Israel. What's it really like there?"
"Oh, "Parker Wessels said, "my dear friend, if you've never been, you have the pleasure of expectation. To walk in Bethlehem, Jerusalem and the stations of the Cross, Nazareth, and sit in the synagogue of Capernaum where our Lord preached. Then ten minutes away to where our Lord gave the Sermon on the Mount. You will leave your footprints in the Bible when you wade into the Jordan where John, Baptized Jesus and swim in the Sea of Galilee. The Israelis have a sign by the Sea of Galilee, "DON’T' WALK ON THE WATER."
Tears welled up in Adolph Klein's eyes. They streamed down his cheeks, "I only wish it were possible."
Husband and wife embraced the priest and blessed him in prayer. With tears in her eyes Lee Wessels offered Adolph Klein a fried chicken leg, "Have a pulka. It's good for what ails you."
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Dotty Moxon waited at the top of the escalator from Track 21 in Penn. Station. She checked the clock in the Savarin Coffee shop and decided she had enough time to make a call. "Father Klein?" She said. "This is Dotty Moxon."
"Professor Moxon, how nice to hear your voice."
"How are you feeling?"
"Quite well thank you. I just wanted the attention."
"What you need is a good woman."
"Is that an offer?"
"No. I married once; don't want to try it again."
"If you find the right one, it could work."
""You seem to be doing well without matrimony."
"Ah but I'm engaged."
"To Christ."
"Yes."
"What's your prognosis?"
"No Long term commitments."
"I hope you'll be with us next week?"
"God willing. My mind is keen but the body reluctant. Will you pray for me?"
"You old fox. If I prayed for anyone it'd be you."
"And if I could bring anyone into the faith, you would be my first choice."
"Not a chance in Hell."
"I was thinking of someplace else," Father Klein said. "Thank you for calling."
Dotty saw her ten year old son Jeff and daughter Barbara, thirteen, coming up the escalator escorted by a Long Island RailRoad conductor. She thanked him and hugged her children. "Are we going to the UN building?" Barbara asked.
"Tomorrow," Dotty said.
"Where we going to eat tonight?" Jeff asked. "I'm hungry."
"Where do you want to eat," Dotty asked.
Jeff partially covered his eyes with his fingers and said, "Peeking Duck!"
"I want Wor Shu Op," Barbara said.
"Let's go then," Dotty said, and hustled the children to the cab stand.
"Tell the driver where we're going." Dotty said.
"Peeking Duck," Jeff said.
"Twenty-two Mott Street." Barbara said.
"My kids call it the same thing," The cab driver said. "Did you ever here the joke about Peking Duck?"
"Yes!" The Moxon family chorused.
In the restaurant, Barbara said, "Mom, grandma is religious. Why aren't you?"
"You watched the TV show?"
"Yeah! The conductor had a portable TV." Jeff said. "The guy behind us said you and the other lady were two good lookin' broads."
Dotty frowned, "Don't say yeah!"
"Mom," Barbara asked. "Weren't you touched when the Reverend recited that part from Ezekiel and the Valley of the Bones?"
"Yes, and I said it."
"How did you know that Twenty-third Psalm thing?" Jeff asked.
"Grandma taught me."
"What about when Professor Ski told about the people of Israel?" Barbara asked. "I thought that was neat."
"Yeah, Ma," Jeff said. "Didn't it make you feel good about God?"
Dotty frowned and Jeff corrected himself saying, "Yes, Mom."
"Now eat your eggrolls before they get cold." Dotty said.
"Mom," Barbara asked, "why don't we pray to God, then when we die and He isn't there it won't make any difference. If God is there we'll be okay."
"You're very smart," Dotty said. She kissed her daughter's cheek. "In the 17th century Blasé Pascal said the same thing."
"Was he right?" Jeff asked.
"No," Dotty said. "The only reason people have religion is because they fear death. Everyone and everything dies. People are afraid of death so they believe they have something better to go to."
"But how can people love God so much if he doesn't exist?" Barbara asked.
"Because God doesn't return love." Dotty said.
"Wouldn't people stop believing if He didn't return their love?" Barbara asked.
"You're thinking logically. Religion is emotional thinking. Unreturned love is the most powerful love there is."
"Aww come'on Ma,…. I mean Mom. How can that be?" Jeff asked.
"Unreturned love cannot be faulted." Dotty saw the lack of comprehension in her son's eyes. "You both know I love you," she said. The children nodded. "Yet when I correct you, or punish you for some naughty thing you did, you're not happy with me."
"Especially when you won't let me go to the mall with my friends," Barbara said.
"Or won't let me ride the bike without a helmet," Jeff said.
"So at the moment I punish you, you aren't happy with me. If I didn't say or do anything you would never be able to criticize me. You two are the most precious thing in my life. To be religious requires submission to something or someone who isn't there. People invented God. They made up the religious rules. Religion is the greatest boondoggle in the world."
"What's a boondoggle?" Jeff asked.
"When Priests, Pastors and Rabbis take your time, effort and money so they can live well by telling you fairy tales about how to get to heaven."
"Are they thieves?" Barbara asked.
"Yes." Dotty answered
"Even the fat guy who got sick?" Jeff asked.
"No. He's one of the poor souls who give their life so others can get rich. Here comes our food."
"Ma," Jeff asked, "could you not curse on TV?"
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Prince Jihad's chauffeured Roll Royce stopped at 5 Central Park West. He had the use of the Saudi King's residence. Entering the apartment he walked behind the eighteenth century hand painted screen of the Tree of Life. Two servants awaited him. They helped him out of the suit and into the more comfortable Galabiya. He said, "Call Sloan Kettering Hospital, Father Adolph Klein." He went to the lounge picked up the telephone and said, "Father Klein, how are you?"
"Quite well thank you."
"Will you be able to be at next weeks TV discourse?"
"I'll make every effort."
"Good. There will be a man outside your room 24 hours a day. What ever you need or would like, just ask him. And when coming to the studio next week, if special preparation or equipment is required I will be privileged to provide it."
"That is very generous of you but not necessary."
"But in my religion it is. I am obligated to help the ill and infirmed."
"Oh my brother," the priest sighed, "If only our two religions could work together. What a wonderful world it would be."
"Inshalla!" (with God's help)."
"What do you think about those two saying they spoke to God?" Father Klein asked.
"In Saudi Arabia we call it the Mecca Syndrome. I've heard it occurs in Jerusalem. Does it happen in the Vatican?"
"Sorry to say people come to Rome and start prophesying, speaking in tongues and talking to God."
"Jobynski is right about one thing," the Prince said. "Our religions are dividing us. And I cannot see how we can come together."
"Let us pray on it," Father Klein said.
"Yes."
+++
Father Adolph Klein awoke with the Bible open on his chest. He saw Charles Krauthammer in a wheelchair by his bedside writing." Have you been here long?" the Priest asked.
"Twenty minutes. I'm finishing a column for the morning papers."
"About the show?"
"No, Fox asked me to save that for tomorrow's TV news at 6pm."
"I'll watch,' the Father pointed to the TV set.
Charles Krauthammer pulled out his cell phone and held it up saying, "I took these pictures of all the flowers and candy out in the hallway."
"My goodness," the Father said. I don't know that many people."
"They know you," said. "Fox News reported your hospitalization."
"What am I going to do with it all?"
"Whatever you decide, Fox will see that it is taken care of."
"Distribute the flowers to the patients and staff."
"What about the candy and there are cakes."
"One box of bittersweet chocolates and a piece of cheese cake if there is one. Give the rest to the patients."
"I'll have it taken care of." said.
"Just tell Ahmed,"
"That big guard sitting outside the door?"
"He's not a guard. Prince Jihad sent him over to help me."
“What are you reading?” Charles Krauthammer pointed to the book on the priests 's chest,
"The Book of Ezekiel."
"That Valley of the bones analogy was powerful."
"Yes indeed. But I'm reading about the Prophet's vision of a wheel in a wheel way up in the middle of the air. Could he be referring to extraterrestrials?"
"You mean that God is an inter-planetary visitor?"
"No. Then he wouldn't be God. But the Vatican recently recognized the possibility of other beings in our solar system."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
"How so?"
"Wouldn't it challenge the exclusivity and superiority of the Catholic church?"
"It might shake the status quo. We need that every few hundred years."
"Then you agree with Jobynski?"
"Not quite. His approach is too simplistic," Father Klein said. "He's correct that certain of our religious practices are almost pagan and idolatrous. The history of our Church is one of weaning people away from that form of worship and bring them into the true faith."
"I don't agree." Krauthammer said. "Jobynski focused on man thinking of God in terms of man."
"That is the Humanist approach." Father Klein said.
A nurse entered, "You are Dr. Krauthammer?"
"Yes."
"I read your news column faithfully."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. But you must leave now. I am going to stick the good Father where the sun don't shine. He's going to sleep whether he wants to or not." She took the book from the Father's chest kissed his forehead and said, "Roll over."
"Oh how the mighty have fallen," he said
+++
CLOSING SHOP
K. Connors and Associates Empire State Building N.Y.
"Obviously you watched last night's TV show," Kathy addressed the four lawyers seated before her desk. The two men and two women ranged in age from twenty-five to fifty-five. "I'm certain you have questions," Kathy said. "I won't answer them. We're going to be very busy for the next two days. Cancel all meetings. If you have court appearances postpone them. I want you to organize a research project on the World's Problem of Overpopulation. Issues to be addressed are as follows:
Population estimates and contributing factors to overpopulation to the year 2050.
Optimum population level of earth.
Food production and distribution.
Fresh water Supply.
Pollution.
Predict the future of natural resources, (coal, oil, gas, fish, oxygen, forests, food)
Future effects of education between developed and undeveloped countries.
The Political implications of population growth.
Housing. Immigration, Travel, inner city, inter-state and international repercussions.
The future of birth control issues and Women's Rights.
The effects of science on overpopulation.
Sixty-minutes interviewed scientist J. Craig Venter. On production of synthetic life. John, you look into it. As the most experienced you lead the team. We meet here Wednesday at 5 PM. Have two copies of each report ready. John, send all secretaries in here now. After you assign the tasks, meet with me. The secretaries, whom I do not use, will be available to all of you. We're working overtime. Anyone with a problem rearranging meetings or court dates come to me."
Twenty minutes later John waited for the secretaries to leave the office. He entered and Kathy waved him to a seat before her desk. "You are the most senior of my staff. This firm is a solid money maker. I'm prepared to offer you and the others a partnership>"
"Under what terms?" John asked.
"Correct question. That's why I believe you can run this law firm. "
"Are you leaving?"
I'm dedicating myself to one client, God." The older man in front of her sat back and shook his head. "I'm not crazy," Kathy said. "There isn't time to explain. I retain 52 percent of the business. You 20% and the rest divided between the other three. The second year we will evaluate the younger associates for possible partnership."
"If your share of the profits is 52 percent," John said, "and you're leaving. We may be agreeing to a failing business? This firm is built on your personality."
"Agreed," Kathy said. "Ours is a service business and requires that I remain connected as a consultant."
"If you agree," John said. "We four draw our regular salaries for one year. I run the business under your direction. At the end of the year we then determine how to carry on."
"If I consent, are you prepared to accept a partnership?" Kathy asked.
"With pleasure,"
"Let's proceed."
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Mount Auburn Cemetery, Cambridge Massachusetts:
"Mr. Jobynski," the funeral director asked, "what do you wish to appear on the tombstone?"
"In memory of
Janet (Ewart) Jobynski
Loving Mother of Michael and Michele
Daughter of Michael and Michele Ewart
Mourned by her loving husband, family and friends.
Plucked from life in the full bloom of womanhood.
"I have the date of your wife's passing. When was Janet born?"
"September 8th 1979."
"Will your church provide the clergyman?"
"I will conduct the service."
"Was your wife Christian?"
"A human being."
"The burial should be In accordance with the solemnity of a Christian burial service."
"There will be no Voodoo drums," Jobynski said.
The funeral director spread his hands and said, "I'm certain you appreciate my concern?"
"Yes," Jobynski said.
"I’ve scheduled the funeral for Tuesday at 2PM. would you like to order flowers?"
"No," Jobynski said, recalling florists in Italy swooping in taking the floral pieces away to be used for another funeral or stripping the flowers to use the wire frames again. "I've told people to donate to Cancer Research or to MADD."
"What is MADD?'
"Mothers Against Drunk Drivers."
"I'll donate to that," the funeral director said. "Those drunken bastards provide most of my youngest clients."
"My wife died of a broken heart because a drunk destroyed our family. I would like to spend a few minutes with my Janet alone."
"Follow me. Take as much time as you wish."
Jobynski looked down at his wife in the coffin. The makeup person had done well. Her cheeks had a blush of red but not overdone. Her eyebrows were penciled in just the way she would have done it. Her soft silky thin hair was combed with a little wave in the front. It always came out of place in the slightest breeze. "I love you." He said. "He bent and kissed her lips but they were cold and stiff. "Oh Janet! I need you. What will I do without you? Are you with the children? Are they alright?" He realized he was asking himself questions but there was no answer in his head. "Janet," he asked. "Do you know what's happening? I mean about God? You're the psychiatrist. The way they looked at me on that TV show when I said we talked to God, they think I need your professional services. We're going to appear again, and before that on Sixty Minutes. Did you see this woman I'm with on the TV show? She's beautiful but I miss you so much. I hope you can't read our minds up there? I'd be lying if a said I wasn't sexually attracted to her. It's been so long since you and I made love. You taught me to love. I never loved any person before you. Then our children…. You loved them naturally. At first I was jealous of sharing my love of you with them. Watching you I learned to love them. I never told you that when Michael was dying I became jealous of you. It was because you had him inside you for nine months and I wanted to be closer to him. Take care of our children. I love you so much…. "Jobynski wept.
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